in a way tho, it makes me look-- even more-- forward to summer. i'm already craving the warmth ya know... but also, the not havin to be 'on the clock.'
my days are so split up now it's just crazy. i have to get up at least an hour before i get the kid up-- so my pain pill will work before i have to 'do' anything. then i get her up an hour before we leave for school. leave around 830. then i do whatever it is i 'do' for that day. get her at 315 ish -- she gets out at 335. then at 415- we're headin back out to go to drivers ed-- and i'm back out again at 615 to pick her back up.
geesh-- for a gal who doesn't like to leave the house? (me) -- that's an awful lot -a - leavin. dontchya think? especially lately. gawd. i don't even want to get dressed, and i have to do all that, and more. some days-- ok, most days-- i haven't been getting dressed-- or at least completely dressed. i throw on jeans and a flannel-- over my un-bra'd self-- and slippers--- barely run a brush thru my unwashed hair-- run her to school-- come straight home-- and un-dress my half dressed self again, right back into my so called jammies.
(these bein days that stez isn't around to run her for me)
i don't know what has happened to me. do ya want my uneducated guess? i am thinkin that i tried so hard-- and succeeded too-- to get through christmas without some kind of major breakdown, like the past many years.... that it just had a delayed reaction.
i think that my holiday depression atttack--- attacked me -- even though i thought i was doing well, and bein all proud of myself for gettin through christmas 'intact'.
so much for that idea. eh?
so. now what? here i am, feeling like the damn 'cymbalta' commercial.
"where does depression hurt?" -- everywhere
"who does depression hurt ?" -- everyone.
even shows the damn dog bein sad and lethargic.
then there's the new seroquel commercial-- where everyone just meshes into the background. this is supposed to sell this medicine? ummm... skuze me.... ? is that how ya feel before? or after? sure makes me wanna try it. not!
by the way-- i've taken that medicine before, several years ago--- and just so ya know-- that's how ya feel before-- AND after. i don't reccomend that brain frying med to anyone. not unless you wanna be -- or take care of a zombie. literally. i swear to you-- when i took that med -- in massively high (rx'd doses) -- i slept approximately 17 hours every day- and could not function in life at all. it is horrible.
ok-- nevermind. i don't even know what i'm talkin about anymore.
see what i mean? my mind is just mush lately.
grits anyone? :))
nuthin up there-
see?
anyhow, no worries peeps. this isn't the first time i've been like this- and i'm sure it won't be the last. i just need to do somethin... not sure what it is. but when i figure it out, i'll be fine. oops , there's that word again. :))see?
anyhow-- i hope y'all have happy days out there today--
i will- promise.
laterz-
8 comments:
When you find a brain send me one.
I finally found someone who knew where you disappeared to. Dang woman, don't give me a fright like that again. :-)
haha-- i thought I told you where i was? i told you i had no brain. i been waitin for ya.
btw-- that's one of my favorite movie lines-- it's from the parent trap-with denis quaid.
the girl said-
"oh you gave me a fright!"
she was like 8. it was just funny to me- cuz when my girl was about 2-- i began having anxiety probs-- so my quote of the day was -- ack- you scared the crap outta me---
at least once-- maybe 3-4 times a day--
then one day- i walked up behind my little girl-- and she jumpes out of her skin--
what does she say?
ahhh you scared the crap outa me!!!
it was one of the funniest things i can remember her ever saying!
anyhow--
good to have ya back B
have a great day@!
All that running around sounds like me. No wonder you sound out of whack.
I've had the kids on holidays for 6 weeks now, or is it 7, and I am just dying for them to go back to school so I can get my routine going again. Plus they are sending me broke with their socialising.
Have a happy day Brezz. Just put your feet up whenever you can in between taxi rides.
oh gypsy, i don't know how you do it... i couldn't imagine havin mine home that long at christmas break... course i don't know how y'alls school schedule works-- in the summertime here, we get to keep em three months straight. and of course we're pullin our hair out-- and like you, goin broke after the first month. ugh.
kids. can't live with em, can't live without em. right?
that used to be said about men-- i don't find that so true anymore. either way. bwa hahahahaha.
i'm kidding.
i think.
hope you find some time to chillax as well.
hugz
I'm with you... I hate being on a schedule, too.
I'm also tired of this dang cold, although it's been a bit warmer here. It's a sad day when 40 degrees feels like a heat wave.
erin- enjoy your heat wave--
i sure wish you could be here in mine-- 70 degrees --
woo hoo !!!
unfortunately-- three days from now we hit frezing. :((
kill me now-- no wait til i'm freezin :))
I'm usually just dressed enough when I drive Em to school that I'd be OK if my car broke down. That is if slippers count as shoes. Is driver's ed 2 weeks long? That's how long it is was for us, plus 6 hours behind the wheel. Yes, you're getting out a lot. Kids require a lot of driving!
hey C
that makes me feel much better-- to know i'm not the only one-- who is barely presentable on the ride to school :))
and knowing you have a normal mind-- all the better! that's HOPE for me.
anyhow-- this just reminded me of my own mom driving me to school -- to like 3rd grade or so-- in those flippin pink hair rollers! how embarrassing . did your mom do that?
ugh. at least her school kids can't tell i'm half nekkid :))
and yes-- i can't wait til she gets her drivers license!!! it scares the shit outta me in DFW-- but really-- i won't have to ever leave the house if i don't want to when she drives. i just cannot wait!
and ya know? i'm not quite sure how long the course is-- i think it might be 4-5 weeks.
i do need to go over the contract today tho-- she's missed a couple days-- staying late at school-- she is auditioning for the play-- helen keller!
i think that's awesome :))
have a happy day-
wanna come do my hair? i swear it's gonna kill me-- or force me offa a bridge.
well, there aren't really any big enough bridges here for that. so i reckon i have to live with this mop on my head til i force myself out of here and get it done.
laterz
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