Sunday, August 5, 2007

I MISS MY BABY !!!

hi all.
well, y'all know my daughter has gone to visit her gramma (hubbys mom) in NM recently. it's her first time away from home for any length of time. well, she actually attempted it one time before, also to her grammas, same one... she was maybe hmmm 8 or 9 ish.... it was to be only five days that time. she lasted three. i drove her out there, and planned to pick her up. well... she was to stay longer than she did, but she didn't make it...i was back...on a plane, cuz my back couldn't handle driving that much that soon... in three days. ugh boy. but, she was much younger, we understood. i stayed a few extra days and made a visit of my own, and all was fine.

well anyhow, this morning, i woke up at like 530... the dogs wanted out...that's always fun... panting, whining dogs at zero dark thirty. not. so i got up , let them out, got coffee goin, all that good first morning routine stuff. as soon as i sat down..i do mean as SOON as i sat down... my phone went off. it sounded like my alarm, so my first thought was , hmm hubby musta set the alarm to go fishin, cuz we had talked about going fishing early , last night. so i look at it, at it was a text msg from my daughter!

"mom, please be up...i'm sick, i can't breath, if you're up call me. please say you're up. i love you."

OMG! she's twelve hours away from me...it was like 430 am there...i knew her gramma and uncle were sleeping. so she's there all "alone" feeling like this. so, obviously, i call her on her cell right away. the poor baby (13, but MY baby) is crying, and hyperventilating, and the relief in her voice in hearing my voice was intense. a deflating balloon, and even more tears, and more hyperventilating. it broke my heart!!! i tried my best to calm her down. i tried to get her to go wake up her gramma but she was afraid she would get mad at her...even though i insisted and KNEW that she would not. she just isn't like that. she wouldn't wake up her uncle either. by now , hubby has heard me on the phone in my own "panic"...and he got up. it was horrible. she is so far away, having a full blown panic attack, and there was nothing i could do !!!

it took at least thirty minutes to get her breathing slowed down. she was still crying, but she could breathe. she was still too afraid to wake up anyone, or even to just go crawl into bed with gramma... by now, i had exhausted everything i knew how to say... so i offered the phone to hubby...he talked to her only for a moment, then i guess his mom woke up, hearing the girl crying etc on the phone, so he ended up talking to her for a while first. so i feel better knowing that she is aware of how my girl is feeling, and they were going to go lay down together. then he talked to our girl, and we will obviously be getting arrangements made to get her home sooner than planned. probably tuesday. the tenth was too long, and we all knew it. but i had no idea it would end with a panic attack...at least not on a thirteen year olds part. geesh. what a way to start my day.

y'all say a prayer for my baby to be ok. she really worries about too much for her age. she worries a lot about me and my health. she worries about her dad...she of course worries about her pets....because we had the one get run over last year... worry worry worry. all that, on top of being plane ole homesick? yep, it's time to bring her on home.

well... on that "happy" note... i think we just may go fish a little and try to ease some stress til we can actually get something about this done.

y'all have good days!

9 comments:

Jamie said...

OMG Soul, that must have been TERRIBLE for you! I am so sorry, it is such a helpless feeling when you are so far away. I really do understand---when my youngest was 15, I let him go live with his dad, just like he wanted me to, but his dad lived in Maui. It was hell---for me and for him. He made it a few months, and never asked to go that far away again...but while he was gone, OMG. I was the one having the panic attacks.

I am so glad that you were awake--poor baby, she really needed you. I am hoping that her grandma can help her feel better. Get her home!

Have a great time fishing, I hope it helps you to feel better. xo

Anonymous said...

Yeah soul..gosh.. what an awful wake up call.. hope your baby was able to calm down somewhat...and knowing that she'll be coming home a bit sooner...might make her a little better and you as well...gosh...go fishing and feel better!

CRUSTY MOM-E said...

wow..
I can't imagine that feeling..and yet you somehow managed to pull your words into my soul-I felt alone, 13 and I had to stop myself for a second to tell myself to breath-poor child.
She's in my prayers!
Always,
Crusty~

josie2shoes said...

Oh Lord Soul! How many times I have gone thru phone calls like this with my daughter and it about blows your heart up that you can't get to them quickly. I am just so glad that she called you and that you were up to take the call. I'd call that Divine Intervention! She needed to hear your voice, and her dad's. and I bet she is feeling a bit better now. Yes, I guess ten days is quite a bit for someone who has not been away from home much or long. It does not surprise me that she has some anxieties about you, since she's seen you suffer thru so much, and I'm sure understands that health and life itself are fragile. The kid misses her mom - how precious is that? A few more years and she not admit to it! ;-) I am glad that she went, it's a great to experience a little freedom and time with grandma, and I'm so relieved that grandma woke up so there will be some physical comfort to help her relax. Tuesday isn't far, Soul, now you have reason to get excited! In the mean time, go fishin, relax the brain, and breathe deeply, she's gonna be ok!

Summer said...

Poor baby. I hope she's feeling better this afternoon. My baby (17)is away too, visiting friends. I miss him.

Anonymous said...

Valerie went to band camp when she was 13. Her first time away and she HATED it!! She called me allll day long! Said she'd never go again but the next year she went (I tried to talk her out of it) and she LOVED it! Who knows! J

SOUL said...

hi Jamie… it really was awful. I hate to feel so helpless.
Maui? Wow. Ya that’s far. Surprised a boy that age didn’t love it there…but boys need their mammas too huh. It is hard to be away from our kids, especially when something like this happens or they get sick or hurt.
I was just glad her gramma got up with her. They had a good rest of the day. I just talked to her, and she sounded tons better. She’s happy to be coming home on Tuesday. In a way regretting leaving early, but she needs to be here. Maybe next year she’ll handle it better…or stay a few days less. We will see.
Her gramma is great. That whole family is. I love all of them no more than I could if they were my own blood. Just good people.
Did have a good time fishing…but now, I am beat down, and every muscle in my body is screaming at me…but, I have CANDY! Want some? ;))

Yankee…hi… yes, she is doing fine now. Just a really bad night for her. She had a better day after some comfort and sleep. She’ll be fine, and will be home soon.

Hiya crusty…neat name btw, welcome to my blog. Didn’t mean to upset you on your first visit. But glad you stopped in and said hello. My girl is fine now. Thanks for the prayers. They worked!

Josie, my soul sis…wussup… I was very glad to be awake when she called too. Obviously. I was glad hubby got up too. He is such a big help with her. I’m glad they are close. She loves her daddy. Ya, she has too many worries for a kid. I wish she’d be able to lighten up some. I guess havin a mom on the edge doesn’t make things easy for her. She’s ok though. She really is having a good time out there. Just kinda torn between here and there. She is my hip ya know.

Hi summer,
Ya I guess it doesn’t matter if they’re 7 or 70 does it. It never changes, they’re still our babies right. When does yours get back?

Ya Janice…funny how much they change in a short time eh? Next year she may wanna go for two weeks and be just fine. Who knows.

EE said...

Soul- That must have felt scary.
So glad that she is coming back to you sooner than planned.
I'll send some prayers your way!!

SOUL said...

thanks e.. she's fine..comin home tomorrow. hope her flight goes well.
hope all is well on your side.