pop tarts give me heartburn

howdy folks---

:))

yep-- i am-- i'm losin my mind peeps. but that's alright i'll find it somewhere-- eventually.

i've been like this for a week though-
and it doesn't seem to be changing.

i was laid out for two days after the last PT session.
i had the worst headache of my entire life.
and i tell ya- i have had ALOT of headaches in my life.
and alot of them i have said were the worst.
but this was really the WORST.
i trembled in pain. i writhed in pain.
and i puked from the pain.
if not for hubby i am certain i would have laid there for days,
until i got the nerve to call someone for help-
prolly 911-- seein as i don't know anyone here.
it was really really bad, and i thanked hubby,
and GOD, that i had hubby to help me.
i was in bed for hours like that until he came home from work.
he immediately called the pharmacy for medicine, that i didn't have,
and they got it ready right away-- which is usually unheard of.
it was just pure hell.
i hadn't felt so hell-pless in a very long time.
and i did not like it.

yesterday i called physical therapy, and canceled the rest of my sessions.
i just can't risk feelin that bad again. they really did work me too hard for only the second time.
besides that-- three days a week? i don't even feel good three days a week. what the hell was i thinkin??? how the hell am i sposed to drive half an hour -- do that shit for an hour, and drive half an hour back-- and still expect to DO a damn thing, or feel half way decent/??
what a dumb ass. ugh. so yep-- that's over with.

hmmm.. what else?
oh-- bad chicken--
yep--



ate me some "little too old" chicken last night. :((
and paid the price this mornin.
not fun.
just so ya know.
gotta cut back on my guesstimate of how long to keep chicken in the fridge.
dammit.
good thing i was the only one who didn't get fast food last night.
figures doesn't it?


welp-- i have to go run errands , and get ready for this vacation thing.
before it changes AGAIN.
seems that pensacola isn't gonna happen.
again.
we've gone from
chorpus christi
to south padre
to p-cola
to lake amistad
to pensacola
NOW
lake amistad
AGAIN
would somebody make up our mind?

hope you all have happy days today
i shall cruise around when i return.

oh-- for your viewing pleasure--
martha stewart -- on crack :))

souls-crib

Brad at waconda Road started this , just showing on Google Maps, where ya live.
and seein as i have not a damn thing to say today --HERE is my house :
brad has TREES.. Val.. has TREES and a LAKE.. me? nuttin hunny---

whaddayou got??

happy tuesday!

well hell -

howdy folks-

i have the news on tv. well, it's been on for a while actually, the news. anyhow, it's hot here in Texas-- very hot- it got to 102 degrees today. i was just sitin here thinkin about when our air conditioner broke. it was -- i'm just guessin, i don't even remember, but it was just startin to get hot, so maybe high 70's. oh hell, i don't know. thinkin back on it- i just remember bein friggin hot. but anyhow. earlier they mentioned that a baby had been taken to a fire station, because she had been left in a day care van in the heat---- for five and a half hours. just hearing that took my breath away. how do you just forget about a baby for almost six hours, was my first thought. where the hell did they think she was...didn't they notice her missing, then of course ya think about the parents, or the mom, or whatever. what the hell man. drop your kid off to go to work, and before the day is over you find out someone locked her in a damn 200 degree car all day. holy crap. when i first heard it, they had no idea of her condition yet-- well, they just updated it, and she died. 18 months old. too sad. and someone needs their ass kicked. maybe a couple someones.

anyhow-- i had physical therapy today. i had to do some exercises, and then heat and a giant tens unit for my back, and a massage just long enough to piss me off. maybe ten minutes, on my neck mainly- and back of my head. very weird. but i felt worse leaving than when i got there. and i am not lookin forward to the next one. or the one after that. blah.

i'm tired today and i have to finish cookin dinner-- after that- i do believe i will go to bed early-- or maybe watch a movie. i have some kind of scary movie i got the other day, and now i don't even remember what it is. better get it watched and get a new one tomorrow... maybe.

i think i smell my chicken burning---

later peeps

third attempt at gettin this post up --

now that my new news is old news -- it just doesn't seem like i should even bother posting it-- but-- it's all i have to talk about right now... so you're stuck with it --

let's start with yesterday -
i actually got my kitchen cleaned up -
i know, i am as shocked as y'all --
but this may shock you even more.
it sure shocked soulkid.
her response?
"who does that??"

to what was she referring to?
well that, would be THIS -

yup-
i've threatened to do it a thousand times-
but i finally did it.
i threw all my damned dishes in the garbage !


even the animals stared at me in disbelief,
that i had crossed over the edge-
mom was finally
PISSED OFF-
and had now done something -
well a bit outrageous-

the child fled, the animals scattered,
and hubby washed the pans etc, that i did have sense enough
to NOT throw away-

which left me the time to clean my fridge -
which desperately needed it-
from the rotten bell pepper that i feared the thought of touching -
to the smoothie from taco bell - which i do not recommend btw-
that was spilled for God knows how long in the entire lower half of the fridge--
to include under the veggie bins -- which as you know is the hardest part to clean.
but--
TADA -

last time my fridge looked like that-
i was movin in here-
and it was empty-


i also watered my plant-
anybody know what it's called?
it's the only live plant in this place-
my first attempt in several years to keep something aside from a child alive.
hmmm...
so far so good.
but i think it needs a bigger pot.
just afraid i'll kill it if i move it.

after all that --
and a little more-
and trying to nap, but failing-
we decided to go to the store to replace our dishes.
i thought it would take ten minutes to pick out some dishes and be done -
ummm.. not.
we're us, remember-
we ended up at two stores.. and still found nothin worth a crap -
so we left-- with no dishes -- but planning to go today to get some.
but i did manage to find the most coolest shirt ever --
wanna see?

and you know i had to get it -
and i did.

then-
i had actually cooked a real meal last night too -
just lost the order where it belongs in here-
somewhere between --
ahh yes... my failed nap - and the dish shopping fiasco.
we got home from the store just in time to finish it up --
and eat it on our fine china ware-
yep - only the best paper plates for us.
we had cornish hens, stuffing, and corn.
and man-o-man was is yummy.

then - we went fishin -

of course i didn't catch anything.
i did miss several. i'm just slow lately i guess.
hubby got 2 or 3.
and i ended up leaving my shoes there when i left.
cuz i ended up steppin in some very smelly - gooey- mossy- mud.
blech ...

even eevee wonered
WTF... moms favorite shoes?

so yep-- that was yesterday-
i finally did make it to bed-
but sleeping was out of the question apparently .

i went to bed like this-



i was up every five minutes between midnight and 230-
when i finally gave up- and got up-

i was like this-- but worse-
so i took a imitrex shot-- and drank a bunch of coffee-
and in a couple hours i felt a bit better.
enough to think some fresh air mught help me feel better.

so i bet you guess what i did right?

OH YEAH !!!

but as for the rest of my day?
it has been a totally nuthing day.
i was hot as hell by the time i left the pond-

not to mention dyin of thirsty-
and ready to fall asleep and fall in with the fishies--
so i came on home, cooled off, drank, ate--
and yall know me well enough by now to know where i ended up-

in bed--
for like 2 or 3 hours--
maybe more.

i got up around 5 pm ish-
and by 9 i was back in bed !

by 11:30- back up--
wide awake-
it's 12:50 a.m. now almost--
and i am about to try to go back to sleep-
but somethin tells me
i won't be very successful.
and will be cruisin around here in a couple more hours-

so, i reckon i will go now-

happy weeks peeps-

i'm gonna live - til i die - sing it peeps- if ya know the tune

i can't believe the weather today - any other day it would be 90 degrees by now--- instead? it's like not even 80 yet... and what am i doin? gettin prepared to face my kitchen HELL.
what would i RATHER be doin?

THIS !!!
of course !

(well, surely not naked-- but maybe-- :))

BUT- instead---
even cats are havin better luck than me lately -
so they can fish-
and i shall clean my sty-

BUT speakin of fishin-
wanna see a sad sad thing?
someone has altered our fishin fairy !!!
yes it's true ladies.
i was mortified when i saw him.
are you ready for this?
oh , it is a horrible transformation...
assuming you have seen the original photo--
here is our altered,
"not naked anymore- fishing fairy"

my heart is shattered-
how bout you?


i'm thinkin the only thing that might save me-
is spendin money-
on myself-of course-
i found these shirts-
and i want them-
along with the sloth hat-
that i still haven't bought-

SEE?

that on--
and THIS one-

and i think you all saw the hat- i don't have the pic anymore.

SO---
IF i manage to get my work DONE
TODAY
i just might reward myself with the above items.

because?
well...
i have been found out--
someone has discovered my nasty-ass kitchen
AND put it online-

oh hell--
the SHAME-

(it's really not mine--
but it's not far-off.)
see why i'm such a tortured -soul??

AND my floors?
i wish i had some of THESE-
they would help i think-
and might even make cleanin the floor a bit fun :))

:))

SO-
even though i am a slug from HELL-
i am prepared for battle today-
and am not gonna sit-
or leave the house-
until this shit pen of a house
is finito today !
God willing.
UGH

oh-- for smocha--
here is YOUR next kitty purchase
:))
you really have crossed the line ya know
but i sure thought of YOU when i saw this-

bwahahahahaha!


anyhow peeoples-
IF i actually DO manage to finish my shit today
without dying-
i just may run away-
me and portia have some long overdue plans-
:))

-- so do me and jamie for that matter-
anyone else wanna run away?--

i hope you all have happy-
" happy dance" kinda days in your worlds-
cuz if i don't-
well-
i just may go to bed for the rest of the weekend-
cuz-

in todays soul-news

nothin exciting at all.

unless ya wanna include lookin like this:

- no, not like a man-
like a fool !
with all the gadgets attached to his face-
well, MY face.
i think it's some kind of "level" , like the tool.
to show how off balance you are i guess. :))
i had to ask him (the PT guy)
how can you not laugh at people with this on them?
he said he was used to it-
but i think i couldn't help myself- i would have to laugh -
it looks sooooo stupid-
and yes, i felt very stupid wearin it.

so anyhow--
that was just for a few minutes,
and i had to do the turning and twisting
and gettin mashed on and pressed on
all that painful stuff

then after that i had to do a couple exercises--
neither too strenuous-
but one bein
this :
-except i was sittin on the edge of a bench-
NOT on the floor like that
phew-

and the other one was
this:
like a bike- but usin your hands/arms -
it was actually harder than it looks-
maybe not if you don't have pain-
in your back, neck, shoulders,
and just about everywhere else-
but in that case--
i only lasted two of the three minutes i was supposed to go.
ugh.
can we say wuss?
i was sooo ashamed of myself-
but hey- it hurt-
what was i sposed to do-

so anyhow--- i go 11 more times in the next month or five weeks- or somethin like that--
then they will re-evaluate me-- if it is doin any good they'll decide if i should keep goin for a while-- and if it isn't doin any good- decide if i should continue- or quit. etc etc etc. you know the drill.

good thing about the first visit?? i don't have to pay a dime out of pocket--
woo-hoo ! bout time the damn insurance pays off . they've done nothin but screw me over for the last two or three years--- but somehow-- i guess with my deductible paid, for some reason, i have a certain amount for this type of stuff that i don't have to pay per year.
strange-- but hell, i'll take it-
i expected a high dollar co-pay today.
so i was pleasantly surprised.

and now?
i must go to bed.
i have been tired most of the day, but even when i did try to take a nap earlier--i just laid there and couldn't sleep. dunno why---so i went fishin. but didn't catch anything. dunno why for that either. cuz hubby got two or three. i got bites, just couldn't get the fish. dammit.
so. i'm gonna try to sleep again.

somethin else i failed to do today???? my damned kitchen. i'm gonna set this place on fire if i don't get it done tomorrow. but i will-- i say i WILL-- :)) -- get it done tomorrow.

anyhow--
goo-night y'all

another day in soul-land

howdy folks--
told ya i'd be here--sooner or later-- it's later-- but here i am.
i cannot believe how boring i have become. and it's not even just on the blog-- it's everywhere. i'm just -- well, ugh. i don't even know. just not with it kinda person lately. not sure what to do about that-- or obviously it woulda been done by now. but hey-- i'm tryin, all kindsa different things-- to get back to my old self-- i guess i just haven't found out what it is i need to do-- yet.

i've tried extra meds-- for extra sleep---
which for the last few nights seems to help-
i'm up late--- but seem to sleep later than normal too- some days as late as 7 !!
that hasn't happened in years!
but then i'm hungover in the day--
and accomplish zilch!

so tell me--
which is worse?
little to no sleep-
or too much sleep, and being comatose in the daytime??
ugh.
i just can't win.

regardless, mornings are rough either way-
whether i sleep or not-
i am an awful bitch for the first couple hours of every day lately.

actually---
i may as well include
aaalll day--
every day.

i'm almost certain that much has to do do with my lack of energy.
which leads to my lack of accomplishment-
which leads to my house becoming and remaining a pig-sty-
which makes me depressed-
and angry-
because no one seems to want to help me get caught up-
and the constant worry of the worsening PILEAGE -
thoroughly exhausts and depresses me-
then gives me headaches and even more pain from added stress-
and the cycle continues-
until i simply verbally attack anyone in sight-
for what seems to them "no reason-
when in reality-
it's a week or two of built up rage. :))

sooo- who wants to "visit" for a couple days??

anyhow-
not sure if i mentioned it-
but a few days ago-2 maybe??
can't remember--
anything-
but i did manage to get caught up on a few things-
one being wally hell!
spent over 200.00 on friggin groceries---
only to decide that i still cannnot manage to clean the fuckin kitchen--
which also means
i cannot cook in there either.
so-- what's that mean?

YEP- you guessed it---
still goin out-
well, last night anyhow.
the night before we ate junk food for diner that didn't require cooking-or dishes.
last night- we took the kid to the mall..
and hubby and i- dropped a hefty 50-- on damned dinner.



just kill my irresponsible self.

so anyhow----
if my damn kitchen doesn't kill me ,
these friggin peein, pukin cats will-
we still haven't decided to keep- or dismiss spot yet.
you know- she's been with us since she was born-
so has jitterbug-
we can't just dispose of her-
but ugh-
i can't stand all these animals destroying my house.



so ---anyways---
my plan of the day for today??
i must clean my kitchen--- if nothing else--
top to bottom, including the fridge and floor-
or i will have a stroke-
or jump offa bridge-

then--
i have physical therapy-- yep cheryl--you remembered :))

i'll let y'all know how that goes--
the appt is at 3-- 2:45 for the dreaded paperwork-- you know how that goes.
i hope they don't hurt me.

hoping you all have happy days in your worlds today-
i know some of y'all are havin a rough go of it---
but i do hope that takes a break- at least for a day-
hell
it's friday-
we all deserve a good day once in a while-
why not make it today
right?

brain-block

sorry
maybe in the mornin?
g'nite folks-

again--- NADA

cept this little video-- less than 3 minutes long-- was tryin to get jamie a good luck fish for yesterday--- guess it worked-- even tho he was just a baby :)) (well, compared to what i usually get outta there... )
where the hell did the big ones go? that's what i wanna know.
anyhow- til somethin interesting happens-- this is the kinda crap y'all get to see around here i guess.

today tho-- i may come up with somethin to write-- cuz i am actually gonna go outside, and face the world :))
i am so far behind behind on everything-- if i don't get food, and pay bills, and do real life things-- we just all may die around here.
besides that-- i am gonna meet JLEE for coffee later on today-- which i am like 2 weeks late for. ugh.
i don't mean to be a bad friend... i just seem to not keep up lately-- with anyone.
hopefully no one hates me yet.







anyhow-- i gotta go--
hopefully the next fishin video will be WALTER !!!! :))

a day in the life of a merry -- ummm-- boring -- ole soul

ola peoples-

(UPDATE--- PT APPOINTMENT IS SCHEDULED FOR 7-18/FRIDAY-2:45--- i'll let ya know if they kill me or not :))


it's just after 6 a.m, i have been awake since 2:30 a.m.
i would like to know why .
but really, i suppose it doesn't make a difference, whether i know or not does it.
i'm still awake. pretty close to every day , at about this time anyhow.
sometimes a little later. if i'm lucky.

but i guess i was pretty used to it once upon a time, guess i should just accept it again.
and maybe try to make good use of the time.
suuure. i'll get right on that.
i still manage to sit on my ass til 10 most days, and even then i don't accomplish crap.
i think i need to call someone to put a stop to this pity party.
soon!

but anyhow--
as for yesterdays doc update?
he suggested physical therapy-
for migraines-
which i have nearly daily.
yes i know...
i never heard of that either...
but i agreed to give it a try--
because , it is a pain that i do not relish.

so---
rather than suffer--
lay in bed for hours-
or just plain be a bitch-

and apparently-
it's called head traction-
and looks something like this:

or maybe this---

whichever it is--
it could include massage as well...
on my neck, and head too--
and either or will hopefully,
reduce the neck pain AND the migraines.
but i won't know, til i go.
and even though it looks somewhat painful-
i'm hoping the result will be less pain.

hope is good.
right?

anyhow-- that's about it in this exciting world o' mine today.
still runnin like six weeks behind in just about everything around here.
perhaps i can change at least a little of that today.
maybe.

happy tuesday folks...

another day here- they're all the same lately

hiya folks (here i go-- typing in bold-- for some unkown reason, yet again..) -- at least it isn't underlining )

anyhow--

yep-- another monday has befallen us. oh joy.

and wouldn't ya know it?
i STILL, got nuthin-
nuthin to say, no fish to show ya, just nuthin.



yep this is about how i feel too-


soooo - i'll just say that , i have been a bit agoraphobic lately. the past few days i have gone no where (if i have, i haven't had to leave my car.) like the drive thru pharmacy- or a drive thru food place- or somethin like that. and even that hasn't been often. the fishin has sucked lately-not to mention it's been 100 degrees outside-- so i haven't even been fishin for a few days.
can we say bored?
i really don't mind though. i'm actually gettin used to it-- and maybe it's not a good thing-- but i kinda am beginning to like not goin anywhere. i'm still in my funk a bit. not so close to the edge-- but maybe not as far away from it as i would like to be either. wish i knew wth to do about that.





so---- on that note-- i am being forced to face that fear-- or conflict-- or whatever it is-- in just an hour or two, to go to the damn neuro doc, for the follow up for the botox injections. which were supposed to help with the pain, but did not. now i wonder what-- if anything will be the next step. i suppose nuthing. but at least he is finally a dr. that is not afraid to treat pain as it should be treated. and not treat the patient as some sort of drug freak. in like three visits he discovered a real problem, that should have been diagnosed years earlier. i don't know if i should be pissed off or grateful. guess i'm a bit of both. so anyhow. ya. you know i don't want to go out my door-- but i must. :((





anyhow-- i gotta get ready to go--
i know my posts are probably boring the crap outta everyone lately-- jitterbug told me so---
but hey-- i'm tryin.




hope you all have the best day you are capable of having for a monday-- assuming that it is a good one-