a late meme (monday #2)--crap! i mean WEDNESDAY!

Interview Meme

a couple weeks ago, (i think)--I was tagged by water learner to do this interview meme:

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1. At what age do you wish to marry? Well—little late for that—I’ve been married fifteen years—16 , if I make it to july! :))

2. If there is something you’d like to change about yourself (whether physically or emotionally), what will it be?

Well.. seein as I am not God—or his Wife—i spose I couldn’t heal my body—so, I spose I would just want to get over the fear of getting out of this house , and DO more fun stuff.

3. If you were to be stranded on a desert island, who are the 3 blog buddies you would take with you? Why?

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JAMIE- cuz we NEED to get the hell away! And we can make each other laugh like nobody else!

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MOTHA-- cuz motha is a damn crack up—who also laughs with us like a mental patient!

OLDY-- cuz if i didn't she would cry :))

ans, well- i know it's 4 but, he’s not a blog buddy—but oh man—we would HAVE to have GYPSYS fishin fairy—to feed us, and fan us, and well.. entertain us.. right?

4. Where is the place that you want to go the most?

Ya know what I think would be really really the coolest? Would be a place that is warm… just anywhere warm.. like on a lake—and a huge cabin..a log cabin.. with trees, and grass… and have ALL my blog pals .. all of em.. and their families, and kids.. be there.. for like a weekend. And we could fish, and bbq..and talk , and eat.. and the drinkers could drink, and I just think that would be the coolest thing ever. I noticed most of us have almost the same people on our blogrolls, and it would be the best weekend ever to have us ALL be together and really get to know each other. Maybe that’s me.. but that’s what I would like.

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5. water learners question: If there is one fear inside you that you hope to be able to face with gungho and conquer it, what would that be? My fear of babies . (if you don’t get it—don’t ask)

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6. What's the best compliment you've ever received?

I don’t get many—it probably had something to do with something I did in the navy—I can almost be positive of that much.

7. What are you afraid to lose the most?

My family… someone close to me, and sushi

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8. If you win $1 million, what would you do?

Pay off bills, give a bunch a way, buy a house for cash, and save the rest.

9. If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?

I’m married, so … that kind of love is out—but if I meet a person I love as a friend.. I would let them know—and that is new for me—just so ya know.

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10. List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you.

I haven’t known water learner very long. But I know that she is kind, she cares about people, and she takes the time to get to know a person, before judging them.

11. What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?

Hmmm… keep a job.. which he always has.. be a good dad—which he always has—share the load—be loyal and faithful to me and soulkid—which he has—so—I spose he passes J)

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12. Which type of person do you hate the most?

People who say what they THINK you want to hear—people who say nothing at all-and people who pretend to listen when you know they don’t hear a damn thing you say. Oh and let’s not forget incompetent doctors! (ummm.. sooo, most people) :))

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13. What is your ambition? Hmmm… I don’t think I have any right now. Maybe just to better myself. As a mom, wife, friend, sister. Human. not too much to ask is it?

*14. What is the thing that will make you think he/she is bad?

Being dishonest in a way that hurts someone. Or me.

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15. Christmas is coming, who do you like to celebrate with?

Well, Christmas is GONE, so it’s a bit late for this one isn’t it.

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16. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?

My family, peeps, and my animals.. and my photos—the rest can be replaced.

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17. Are you a shopaholic or no? NO! y’alll know I HATE to shop!!!

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18. Which actress or actors you would like to be?

I don’t want to be anyone but me. I can barely handle that!

19. It would be 2008 in a few days, do you have a new year’s resolution?

Hmmm.. it’s been 2008 for 30 days—my resolution..of sorts was to TRY to quit smoking—which I failed rather quickly at—but I didn’t try very hard at either. It’s my only pleasure in life. So screw it.

(does anyone want a box of cinnamon nic gum? It tastes like shit btw)

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20. Do you have any plans for tomorrow?

Don’t think so—but I take the kid to the cute dentist today—does that count?

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I am supposed to tag 8

But I won’t

So if ya want it—take it away, just let us know if ya do it

facing your past- or continuing to run

have you ever felt like you've been running from your past , and finally got caught?
well, better yet-- has the past you've been running from, ever actually caught up with you? grabbed hold, and forced you to look at it? maybe that's a better way to put it.


you know the old saying.. you can run, but you can't hide. right?
well.. i have hidden, and i have ran. i have built walls and cages, and worn blinders,. i have changed tv channels, avoided certain people , places, and things... for many many years. even knowing that it did no good for me -- or my family.

recently, the black cloaked ghost of my tumultuous past , has grabbed me from behind. as i struggle to face the demons that join it, i am both paralyzed , and fighting with all my strength to not be beaten this time. as easy as it would be, i cannot be defeated again; not now. not at the time i am beginning to find strength in who i am again.

is this another cryptic post? i'm sorry if it is. maybe for those who know me better than others, you may pick up on some of it. if you aren't gettin it, i apologize. i just don't want to get too much into what all is goin on.

basically i think it may be one of those-- one step forward -- two steps back, type things. lately. but, the difference i think, this time, is that, well, i don't feel that i will be left two steps back. i think i will find my way back up a step or two-- even if i need to fall back again. i'll eventually find my way where i am supposed to be. someday.

anyhow... i think i don't know what i'm saying right now-- or maybe at least quite how to say it.. so i better wait a while.

but i do think i have a question of the day--- again--- what do you do when the past stares you in the face--- and how can you use that to help someone else-- when you haven't quite dealt with it yourself???