soul-bits

mornin peeps -

greetings and salutations :))
so.  what's happenin in your worlds?  i am really thinkin about my east coast - ish peeps.  i haven't been keeping up with the news on Irene as much as i would like to have.  but i sure am glad it's over.  well - at least the storm part.  i did see the - finally - only last night , the damage it left in its wake.  i can't believe that i got so far behind in that news.  things have been crazy busy here.  not much time for tv - and i never see a news paper.  i'm sure i have seen all you folks on facebook since the storm , so i at least partly sure you all are at least alive.  which is a wonderful thing.  i hope you are all injury free, and that your homes and families  are safe as well.  i reckon mother mother nature is quite angry.  flooding some and droughting others.

my area here in TX is still bone dry.  and still battling 105-106 temps.  still praying for rain.  yet knowing when we get the amount that we need -- we will be bitchin about the floods that will surely follow.   due to dry ground.  water in any amount will come so fast the soil won't be able to soak it up -- we just won't win.  not for a while.  cows and horses are dying, along with people,and  other animals, and of course crops etc.  some livestock are being sold - or shipped out of state just because there is no water or grass to sustain them.  it's just a really bad situation here.  of course lakes are low, and our local ponds that we usually like to fish in are extremely low - creeks are bone dry, and fishin simply not an option -  in town.  i'm no 'grab a sign and picket for goin green, or conserving water - or any of that eco friendly stuff'   but ill tell ya somethin.  it's tempting lately.  it's a sad thing to watch --
this is my town.  my little world.  and it's suffering.  the people and animals are suffering.  the fish and lakes and ponds are suffering.  the entire area is suffering .  and i feel helpless in any way to actually help in any way.  all i can really do is try not to over use electricity -- and we do that.  cut back on water usage - we do that.  i can't really go fill cow troughs . or lakes or ponds.  i can't pull fish out of ponds and babysit them.. i have no where to put and care take them.  although there are fisheries who have done that in a few ponds around here.  (after fish kills.)  i honestly don't think i have ever seen anything like this.  it breaks my heart !

anyhow -- that's my new view on the state of the environment and it's needs.  i certainly have a new outlook on things there.  i have learned a lot about conservation, i'm sure i won't forget those anytime soon.

oooooh noooz - soul has lost her mind -- again.  :))

so -- ya wanna hear the scoop on soulkid and AI in houston?  she didn't get through.  :((  they spent almost a week down there.  they registered on tuesday- and didn't audition til friday.  expensive trip.  the day of the audition, it looked good -- for a minute.  they took em in four at a time.  she was the only one in her group who was asked to sing two songs.  it looked promising -  i was getting the play by play by text from her dad-- i was nearly having a stroke!  it was horrible for me to be there to see what was happening.  she didn't tell either one of us exactly what the judge said to her until the day after they got ho,e -- after being told 'no'.  ugh . we were all so confident that she would get thru.  even if not all the way thru.. we felt she would at least get through the auditions.  anyhow -- the word was -- the lady judge told her ' i love your voice - i want you to work on your performance, and work on making eye contact, please come back next year.'.

i didn't see that in any way as negative feedback.  soulkid has always been afraid to sing in front of people.  so.  i can see how she isn't used to looking at anyone.  she does need to work on it.  and we will encourage her to go back.  the word is only TWENTY people from houston went through.  20-- from thousands.  and you know half of them were for the entertainment value.  and half of the other ten can't sing.  but again -- soulkid took it in stride - and understands all this.  she will take the constructive critisism and run with it.  she will take advantage of the several 'open mic' nights they have around town, and work on her 'performances.'  and next time she will show them all what they passed up.
the kid has a voice like no one i know her age.  or some i even hear on the radio.  i wish she would let me video her so i could show y'all just what she can do-- she really is amazing !
she did sign the rights of her image to x-factor and AI -- so ya never know she may be on TV even tho she didn't get thru on either -- so do watch them.. she might be on there somewhere -
watch for this face - this beautiful little face !

aside from that ?  there has been lots of other things goin on round here too.  but lack of blogging or other means of keepin track - and my bad memory makes it hard for me to remember much of of it.  all i know is i have been a busy busy gal lately.

part of that is trying to keep up with the animal clan around this place.  we have way too many animals.  they are driving me half insane lately too.  if it's not chasing behind behind Eevee, cleaning up her near constant vomiting.  ugh. yes i know.  i do not know why it happens but the poor girl pukes almost every time she eats or drinks.  most of the time it is clear and foamy liquid.  it concerns me.  but some folks around here like to call it a 'sensitive stomach. hmmmm.  well, if i puked every time i ate or drank?  i do believe i would see a dr.  denial is a bitch.

then we come to sushi - the min pin - she barks - yaps the yappy dog - ear piercing bark.. incessantly - all day long at every sound - or sometimes nothing.  a doorbell or buzzer on tv -- omg - she has issues.  but yesterday ?  i had put her outside , and soon after i noticed her barking was 'too distant- for her to be in 'our' yard. i hurried to look outside- she wasn't there.  i followed her bark - she was in the backyard neighbors yard! luckily she came back over right away when i called her.  i saw where she came through the fence --   HERE

at first - i didn't get a close look - i just brought her inside - thinking she dug a hole.  man i was angry at her.  i spent half the day thinking how to fill a hole that size with hubby in wichita - and me in pain.  all i could think was a bag of sand.  which usually weighs fifty pounds.  ugh.
later on in the day - after hours of business stuff and running around out in town of business stuff. i was exhausted and tired .  i felt awful and sick.  i left many of my tasks i needed to do undone.  my main focus was the fence -- the rest could wait for today.  but the fence had to be fixed .  i went out back for closer inspection.  that's when i noticed that it was a broken fence panel...

so -- what did i do?  i considered goin back out to buy a cinder block -- but i just didn't have the energy to do that.  so i took a look around the garage -- and voila ! a filled with crap tool box ! ( 40 pounds worth!) but,   a soUlution !

sushi tested - sushi approved.

welp -- i spose that's all any of us have time for right now -- so let's all say laterz for now -- 

until next time -- have a pleasant day - and a better tomorrow -  let the day be good to you-

i don't know where to start - these are the best ones eh? :))

mornin folks -
how's things?  well and good i hope?
here?  well, i reckon that's a starting point.  ok.  yep.  just ok.  for now. 
not that 'this' is where i would have wanted to start but it looks like where i'm at -- so - let's keep goin eh?


well or not -- i could start with the most recent of events - and then go backwards?  yeh -- ok- so, i'm sleepin this mornin , or sorta this mornin.  it was 3:04 AM, when i looked at my clock . after the phone rang.  yeh.  i kid you not. my phone rang at 3 in the morning.  for me, that is never a good feeling.  and my first thought when such a thing happens, is never -- hmm LOL must be a crank call.  how freakin funy is this gonna be? hmm.  nope -- in my world -- my heart jumps out of my chest, i frantically search for the cell phone, try to see who it is , then answer -- in a panic -- because i absolutely know that something horrible has happened.  so -- yep,  that was the series of events of the first seconds of my rude awakening at the wee hours of this morning.  not to mention the worried jump and groan from hubby , lying next to me.
But -- when i answer the phone -- who do you think i discover on the opposite end of the line?  yeh.  my sisters' friend, with my sisters laughter behind her -- crank calling me.  mind you -- at 3 AM.  do you think i found any ounce of humor in this situation?  well, sorry - but no.  not because it might not have been kinda funny -- if i didn't worry so much about the next great tragedy all the time.  or sense the WTH, and worry from hubby from the same concern of hubby with late night phone calls... but i take sleep meds - and man -- my brain is mush when i'm asleep at night.  half the time if i'm awakened suddenly -- only God knows how i might react -- but phone calls are never a good thing.
so this call didn't end well, and as i laid there for a moment reflecting on my -- ummm, bitchiness... i decided i should get UP, and make amends.  so i did that . i got some coffee and a cig, and i called the girls back. we had a good, and a fun filled conversation for about an hour- til i couldn't hold my arm up to hold the phone anymore.. and we let it go.  but i was glad i didn't let it go - with me feeling bad - and them feeling hurt, or angry.    -- NO -- that is not an invitation to call me in the middle of the night - the next time may not go the same way  :)) 

so that's how this day has started.  very early for one thing.  i hope i don't drag my ass all day - especially after the way the last few have been going.  but if i do -- what's one more. right?

cuz the last several days - maybe up to a week have been rather strange for me lately.  i was feeling pretty good. both physically, and mentally.  then almost as quick as it came -- it was gone.  mental part - was no more than bein majorly stressed.  but physically?  i was goin nowhere but downhill - fast. 
they symptoms i have been having all lean towards Addison's crisis.  i was trying to treat myself at home.  liquids - to rehydrate, raised my steroid meds, rest -- which couldn't be helped - since i was so dizzy at times i couldn't stand up straight.  pain in low back and leg - not related to my 'normal pain'.  my mouth breaks out in ulcers - on the inside - in times of stress - that was doin a job on me / still is.
well, after a couple of days of that - i decided -- after almost falling over sideways like a toy soldier - to go to ER for an IV, and other treatment.  that did not go over very well at all.  they didn't know how to treat me .. and did nothing for over two hours -- not until i had yelled at everyone from the nurse, to the lab tech, all the way up to the doctor! i finally was given AN IV. and a hydro cortisol intravenously of 100mg. which should have been done immediately on my arrival.  but was done about 3 hours after i got there.  good lawd i was mad.  i wasn't even able to drive there-- my kid drove me , and hubby picked up-  when the doc was literally on his way to discharge me - he revealed he 'forgot to check my labs !!!"    how doe you spell INCOMPETENCE!    so- i have been feeling bad , sick, and dizzy since then - and before - and still treating at home.  and at this point only feeling a tad better.     except that last night my heart rate was skyrocketing, and BP was low.  not terrible low , but low.  this shit's really gonna get me one day -- and i hope if it does someone who knows me will be smart enough to go after the dumbass who doesn't listen to me at the hospital.  i even brought web pages about the disease - and treatment along with me -- no one looked at them.  am i angry?  oooh more than i have been at a dr - or med person - peeps in a long while.    do they see iv and steroids as drug seeking?  WTH?  why don't they listen?  people can and have died from this stuff.  and so few even know what addisons IS. or worse how and when to treat it.  this isn't the first time this or worse has happened to me with a dr.  what's it gonna take to get em to listen.  it scares me to wonder sometimes.

k.. other than that?  hate to admit it but due to bein laid up for several days i don't think i have much to say.  WAIT i lied !  i DO I DO!!!

guess who is goin to Houston next week to audition for american idol????  yup -- my one and only favorite girl in the world !!!!


i didn't tell y'all this before -- for the first long while it was 'confidential.  if ya told anyone - or especially put it online - it meant certain disqualification.  so i got so used to not talking about it --
that by the time i was allowed to it was over , and i just felt i just wouldn't mention it -- until i knew how this -- next round (American Idol) was gonna go.  and now that i know for sure that is set up -- motel reserved etc -- here i am to blab my proudness :))


a few months ago - soulkid auditions for X-Factor.. right here in Dallas.  she and her dad went - three days in a row, stood in lines of thousands of people for the auditions, for days.  the first day, over ten thousand people showed up.

each day the crowd dwindled in size, but my girl continued through each of the four audition rounds.  the worst of the four was the last day. it began with 75-80  of the 10,000+ of the original contestants.  the last audition was pruned down to only a handful, and  instead of being told weather or not she would go forward -- she was told would be contacted.- along with the rest of the others who were left.  that was a very difficult waiting period.  THE day of the TV taping she received an email stating she would not be sent through.  we were sad for her, and of course she was disapointed.  but she handled it with grace and style.  she understood that it wasn't her voice that lost her a spot -- it was the shows need for the comedy/drama factor that cost her that spot.  now the rest lies in the future weeks and months with American Idol.   i won't be able to speak much about that as you all know - there are rules, and contracts etc.  but i want y'all to know to watch for her.  and pray for her -- she has the talent -- she needs the support and confidence to go forward.  the kid has sang all of her life.  i wish they could bring a shower onto the stage there -- that's where she sings the best!!  i always know when something is wrong with her-- when i don't hear her sing from the shower.

so peoples -- that's my life in recent past -- up, down, backwards, sideways, and forward.  i reckon.  it's a busy life but someone has to live it.

needless to say - between all that's been goin on, and the three digit temps out here -- no fishin lately -- but hopefully soon we'll get another break, and hopefully hopefully hopefully some rain.  

love y'all - and you know i think of ya lots !
hope you all have a perfect sunday in your worlds today -- i'll do my best - i always do - yeh that's a new one eh-- i try guys - hard work for such a small word -- but it's amazing how far just trying can get ya some times!

come on in - smoke n choke with meh

howdy folks - long time no see eh?  sorry bout that.  i haven't ad much to say.  yeh i know. that doesn't sound right comin from me does it?  well.  even though i can usually turn nothin to say into a half hour of your day, i haven't wanted to make y'all suffer.  not that i have been sufferin.  well.  things have been a little bit rough. just not like you think.  well, let's say not like you are used to hearing me write about.

my theme around here for the past couple months has been 'change'.  in every way you could possibly imagine.  personal change mostly.  spiritually, emotionally, mentally, physically,  in relationships-and out,you name it -- if a person can work on- or change it -- i'm doin it.  and y'all know -- a person can really only change themselves right.  or the way they react to situations.  and any bit of that takes time.  and energy. and patience.  and if any of you really know ME?  i have none of that.  well.. til lately.  i don't know where it's coming from.  but i'm finding it.  it only comes in moments, or spurts, or or even at times bursts, but many days i get things done that even only three months ago i wouldn't have even begun to start - now i can see things getting done and i even feel better physically and mentally for it.

don't get too excited folks - it's still the early stages .. healing takes time, and that's what all this is. it took a long time to - i find no other word to say it - but 'give up'. i did that. i crawled inside myself and gave up on me and everyone , everything around me. it took a long time  to get there.

i think i actually backtracked to what i will call 'the straw that broke the camels back' - and i feel so stupid for letting THAT be what broke me.  saddest thing of that part?  i knew in advance that it potentially would-- and i LET it.  i left myself open-- i watched it happen- but ya know what -- it's ok.  i'm so over it-- and i'm good.

i won't say healed - i know my physical stuff will not be healed - but i manage my pain oh so much better.  breaking my ribs was a very much needed wake up call.  God showed me what REAL life stopping pain was.  so yeh, i tuff it out a lot of the time, i manage the meds in a much more mature way.  and i'm alert and making things happen.  gettin er dun . 

mentaly things are better too.  just gettin my ass off the couch and workin on the house every day, gettin out of the house and running errand or spending time with the fam or hubby or doing whatever -- out of the house is good.  opening the blinds - for christ's sake!    i haven't been a part of my own life for so long i didn't realize i was missing it.  

who in their right mind -- not that i ever claimed to be  :))  --- would ever say -- i'm happy i broke my ribs -- i heard God speak through that experience.  sounds crazy to some i'm sure .. but that my friends was surely my wake up call to live - or die .. and to know that it was MY choice.

well folks -- coffee's gone --- CHEERS --

hope you all have happy days in your worlds today -
it's a hot one again here -- but we did get a few nice days -- and it RAINED!!!

funny fun taylor vid

taylor swift - havin fun :))

this is for my soulkid


what's up peeps?
just a soul roast here in Tejas -

i just noticed THIS--



Y'ALL do remember my 333 thing right?  that's just freak-ay :))

HEP MEH , HEP MEH - FEELIN HOT HOT HOT

WATCH THE VIDEO AT YOU TUBE -

i'm HOT HOT HOT !!!

re-decorating my world -

hiya peeps -  how goes it in your world these days?  i hope all is well and good.
here?  well, not terrible.  that's a good thing , y'all know that.  you've heard me bitch and moan - or not say a word for quite a while lately.  with good reason.  at least i think so.  the most depressing crap can run through these fingers of mine sometimes, that even i hate to read it.  if you'll notice - i just drafted my last three posts.  they were demonic.  LOL.  well.. more of a HMMPH.  geesh.  man i'll tell ya.  it really has been a struggle for me since i fell on the boat and broke two ribs.. but it coulda been worse.  i know that now. and i also know that excuses and reasoning aren't in order.  i have felt the presence of God in my life more powerfully in these passed few weeks than i have in not so recent memory.  
i can't really explain in how many - or what kind of specific ways.  but i can tell you that my perception on my life has been entirely skewed for a very long time.  i'm pretty sure that you all knew that...  obviously it took some drastic measures for me, to see what everyone else has seen, but maybe didn't know how to tell me.  maybe some of you did -- and i didn't want to hear it.

anyhow -- i just wanted to check in and say hello to you folks.

hope you all have happy days in your worlds today -
i plan to

soul-land-ings

hiya peeples-

how's things in your worlds?

here, i'm just enjoyin the silence for the moment actually.  well, the silence around me i should say. the silence in my head -- well, that's a whole nother question.  quite a bit goin on in there - i'll get to that in a minute.

but as for here at home, around me?  ahhhh.  the animals are quiet-- and soulman, AND soulkid -- are at work.  which puts me all by myself -- alone -- to enjoy my smoke - n- choke in peace, for what seems to be a long time. 

i know for some, that means loneliness.  for me?  it's my time.  no tv.  no x-box live crap.  just the sound of silence -- and it really is golden. 

i have been a stressed out disaster of a mess for what seems to be -- months.  i don't even know why really.  but i have got to a point of non functioning, and total exhaustion.  between physical pain, and mental stress and -- whatever.. it's been paralyzing for me.  not to mention flat out d-e-p-r-e-s-s-i-n-g.
i have raised meds -- lowered meds -- stopped meds -- started back on meds. chain smoked- cut back on cigs.   rested.. not rested.. got up - and crashed.

 i even found myself in the emergency room a few days ago -- chest pain, side pain, and racing heart -- i was at the point that i believed that i was having another blood clot (pulmonary embolism-- or perhaps a heart attack) -- turned out to be 'nothing-- thank God. -- but of course - i always feel foolish when i go to a dr - especially ER -for 'nothin .. but better safe, than sorry eh?

i will admit -- it was easing on my mind tho - to know that my heart, and lungs were ok.  i think i was stressed over stressin that they were not.

i have also been worried a lot -- about the dang horrible storms and tragedies in places where i have dear friends.. some of which i still am not sure of how some of my friends are doing.  japan, alabama (i know those peeps are ok) ---

but now tennessee - i have a lot of peeps there in several different areas -- i didn't even hear about problems there until a couple days ago -- yeh , i'm a hermit-- y'all know that.  but seriously-- WTF is UP with all of this ??  and let me know how y'all are ok?

 even we here have had our share of storms, tornadoes,  and even wild fires of all things.  nothing too bad near us.  but some areas are trying and failing to get help from obama.  what a freakin crazy time for so many .

and what about osuma?  really think he is dead?  and if so.. why not end the damn war, and bring our people home?  was he not the main goal of this entire thing?  if he is dead -- let's end it.  especially if he is dead, and we have a entire new threat of terror 'here'.. what good are we 'there'?  this whole thing has me up in arms.  pic?  no pic?  buried at sea?  really?  it's all just weird.  but if it is true?  rock on SEAL team 6!

on a lighter note?  how was y'alls moms day?  hope it was grand!  mine was nice-  smoked brisket -- nice surprise gifts,  got a nice new fishin rod-- what else right?  and a nice relaxing lotion - primping basket /candle gift from my soulkid.  nice all around day.  hope yours was good too.

we also got to baby dog sit my mommasons dog -- a min pin for a week, while she and her sister , used our time share to visit their other sister .  he was a trip.  but also a lot of fun.  he got along with all the other animals.  sushi was very jealous - but also had fun playing with him. his name is Duke,

and of course -- i am loved by all -

animals.

i also had another surprise-- yep - douglass - the cat -- put his foot in my eye while i was sleeping !  well sort of- i heard him drinking my water-- grabbed him, and drug him over my face, to get him away from it.  that's when his foot landed in my eye! very painfully, i might add.  the next morning, i noticed my eye was all red and bloody 'looking' in the white area.  i worried about infection, so went to the dr.  for antibiotics.  little did i know-- it is state law in texas -- to report to animal control of any bite or scratch of an animal!!  douglasss has been on 'home quarantine'.. thank God they didn't come and take hi to lock him up at the shelter!  but today is the day i have to take him to the vet for his 'well check' and drop 50 bucks -- and take a damn form to animal control to prove he is up to date on his shots and doesn't have rabies. 

it's been a roller coaster of a couple weeks -- but i am alive.  trying to chill out some.

cheers y'all -- have a couple for me- i could use em-

GOOD NEWS - to those who know Mary @ Pathways!

howdy peeps --  just to let ya know -- i just got a phone call from Mary @ Pathways - http://maryspathways.blogspot.com/.  i know many of you who read here read her page too.  i just want to pass along the message that she and her family are all doing ok - considering the horrible circumstances of the recent tornado.
 
she asked that i send a shout out in her place to those who are worried about her :

her voice was audibly shaken , but she and harry are fine. at least physically so.  they have their reefer tanks on a generator -- as well as the rest of their home.  luckily their structure suffered no severe damage other than a little roof and shingle damage. but they are sheltered -- in a most primitive sounding way.

she had been in fear of running out of her medications but had found there is a 'place' set up to fill RX's for those who can't get them.  we weren't able to talk long - as she said - the phones  - come and go.  the important thing is - thank God , no one (of 'them') was physically harmed in what was for her and harry  several terrifying hours - spent in their hall way in the wrath of this awful tornado. 

as in the usual Mary - slash - Harry way -- they are doing as much as they can for others in their neighborhood - who suffered much more damage -- to their homes, and possibly bodies .  they are keeping food for some neighbors -- and of course offering what they have to those who were left with nothing.  as in the way that tornadoes do -- one home was 'saved' while the other was leveled.   also, as many folks who witness, and by the grace of God , survive these types of things - Mary was left with a total lack of words to describe what they had gone through.  not for lack of trying -- the words are not there.  this has been and is an obvious traumatic event for her.  they have been without power for the days since the tornado -- and a possible 7 + days longer to come.  (as per their electric/power source).

through it all -- she is holding strong -- as those who know her -- always does.  the circumstances they are living under at this time is not easy for her -- or anyone nearby .  obviously.  but they are lucky enough to have a couple of generators to supply their needs. 

 i just wanted you to know that if you are among the many praying for her - and hers- God, as always hears you !   He surely has big plans for her in the future.  i am amazed at all she has been through -- and conquered over the past couple of years ... i can't wait to see what happens next !

i hope and pray that it is all smooth sailing and time for her to receive the blessings that she has and continues to share !  there just aren't many made like Mary -- keep praying for her and her family.

i love that woman !!!

well, if one thing's consistant around here - - -

.....  it's the fact that i have run out of bloggin gas.  that last post was not a natural flow of smooth soul blabbin, like it used to be.  the other day, that post just didn't come together like i thought it would.   i reckon the only reason i'm in here now - after a day of thinkin , -- 'maybe i should just let it go for good' -- is cuz i , once again can't sleep. i am once again, up with a pain issue that won't let me sleep- or stay asleep. well,  that - and the fact that i'll prolly never totally stop bloggin.  it isn't my first and last thought of the day anymore-- hasn't been for quite some time.  but the spark is still there.  and i know that if i continue to write -- the soul-ramblin-rythm will return.  we shall see.

to be totally honest?  aside from the pain?  i think i'm in here - and awake - mainly because of the huge ass tornado's ravaging the entire eastern US. and my easily worried mind.

surely by now y'all have seen this stuff on the news?  i'm prayin y'all out that way are safe, especially if you have been hit, near hit , or damaged by those storms.

 it was about 6 pm here when i saw the pictures on the news of the half mile wide tornado in Birmingham Alabama.  half a damn mile wide folks!  my heart sank.  i immediately called my friend out there -- i got sent straight to voice-mail, and no word since.  :((  LBF -- call me asap when you can..

we have had nothin but 'breaking news' out here for the last three or four days, about our own tornado breakouts.. more than twelve just the other day in areas east of us. some closer - nuthin severe -- not like'this'.    the (my)whole area has been callin TV channels bitchin for them to stop interrupting their 'programs'.  SO what happens last night when i WANT to see what's goin on in Alabama?  they show  nuthin!  ERG! maybe five minutes of the huge ass tornado touchin down.. tearin through birmingham, and nearby areas.  awful to watch might i add?  all i could do was shake my head in disbelief.  it was unreal.  i wanted it to be a dream.. it wasn't.

the last, and only time i ever saw anything like this size of a tornado was in 1999, when one of similar size ripped through oklahoma.  i lived in whichita - (AKA- Tornado alley) -but, i was visiting in california with soulkid at the time.  it was -- april 29th, 1999.  soulman was home alone in KS -- to face the the wrath of the 'leavins' by himself - in our basement.  sometimes - even still,  i wish i woulda skipped my visit to cali - and stayed home too.  prolly woulda been better than the emotional tornado i faced on my 'hell-cation' . bah !  (i was visiting a terminally ill - very long time best friend.  it of course didn't go well, as the cancer had hit her brain by that time.  --  i say i'd trade it, due to the confusion of her mind -- but never would i really.  we were able to 'say goodbye' - folks don't get that opportunity very often-.

i stand corrected

5-3-1999

*side note*

i think this is about where i fell asleep -- luckily it was saved to draft.  ugh.

nuthin like sleep bloggin eh?



so. need i  mention i'm just as confused as i was last night?  still no more new news, or word as to  what is goin on with all my other eastern U.S. peoples. 'cept,  i saw a bit of the news early this morning -- , but they still aren't showin much here in DFW.  i've so far heard , of course AL, FL, and even VA!  i have peeps spread all over that way.  no word on Arkansas -- anyone know about out there?  i have family there.  chicago i have a nephew and pregnant neice in law there -- and a bloggee pal.  then,  -- FL.. = two nephews.  if i had a map i'd know exactly how many friends/family are out that way -- but for now?  i can only worry, in the bliss of my ignorance -- and hope that everyone -- not only my own peeps -- but you and yours too, are safe and sheltered. 

 y'all know it doesn't take much to get me worried about y'all - or anything else for that matter.  so -- anyone out that way -- gimmee a shout out - lemmee know what you know eh?  lemmee know you're alright, and  any of my buddies- or anyone in touch with them -  are too. k?  thanks.

anyhow-- let's get offa that subject. shall we?

- now - here i am again, two cups of coffee down my gullett,chased with a couple pain killers,  and just as tired as i was then.-

*lovely*

i guess i'm tired folks. i won't let it ruin my day tho.  i can't.  i'm in soul-hell.  yes, again.  a million and one things to catch up on -- or evein begin...  but first ! -- i have to try to get in touch with some of friends who may have been in the path of the tornadoes .  i can only hope that they are all - alright.  then regardless of what i hear -- if anything -- cuz i think the phones were down when i tried calling last night.... i need to continue on with what i hope to be a productive day.  i have been like a bad still life painting for weeks!


at this point in time i am considering returning to bed --- but i cannot do that. better yet shouldn't.  even though my body and mind beg for me to rest.  i did that yesterday. all day.  i know i need it on certain days -- it's not like i'm in the best 'shape' of my life --   but i can guilt myself to death if i let me.   

one of my  best and worst attributes.

here's to happy and safe days to you all out in your worlds today !!!

everything changes yet all remains the same

howdy folks ! greetings and salutations!   how the hell have ya been?  i sincerely hope all is well in your worlds !  like i said last night in my sleep med stupor -- i never stopped thinkin of any of ya -- even through my disappearing act. 

it seems that a whole lot has been goin on here - but at the same time it seems nothin has been goin on too.  we'll all find out i reckon once i get goin eh?

i honestly don't know where to begin.  the beginning is always a good start -- but we all know my mind doesn't ever work that way. right?  so, as usual -- i'll just start writin and we shall  see what turns out on the page - eh?  this oughtta be fun.  yeh right.  maybe you should should get some coffee or a sammich?  i'll wait.

so.  how long have i even been MIA?  a month at least it looks like.  aside from an occasional check in on face-book.  usually basic or pointless.  or my signature -- 'soul-speak' which leaves everyone more confused than before.

anyhow -- let's get this party started , shall we?

in no particular order -- except that of my ramblin mind -- let's roll -

we have new baby kitties!  somewhere.  i discovered them a touch over a week ago.  sushi -- remember her -- our min - pin; with issues like no other dog that lived?



well -- the dogs (her, and eevee) - were outside , and she was goin nuts -- barkin like a fool -- but in a tone - that was unusual for her.  irritating though, enough for me to go investigate.  what did i find?  sushi - yappin, and diggin under the fence.  so.  i peeked thru the fence to see what had her so interested.  my thoughts were in the direction of a snake -- a squirrel, things along those lines.  but to my pleasant surprise -- it was a very fresh litter of baby kitties.  most were white -- i knew they would be easy to find homes for .. (later) unlike the last bunch.  one of which -- is the mommy of these -- a black one... so-- i put the dogs inside ; went back and put a big rock in front of the hole sushi was digging, and hoped that she would leave them alone.  HA - like that would ever happen.

( i think there are 5 -

click to enlarge)

well, obviously, blockin the hole did no good at all.  just as i thought -- so sushi bothering the babies had caused the mommy to move them.  and after a search of the entire property on all sides -- i can't find them anywhere.  i'm sure she has them safe somewhere.  we've been keeping mamma fed and watered so she won't dehydrate or something, and can stay healthy to keep the babies healthy.  it won't be long until she brings them here for real food after weening them.  i expect to see them all on the front porch in another two or three weeks.(?)  i love baby kitties.  it's when they grow up that they bother me.  :))    i love mine much more since we declawed them. some of you may remember my constant bitchin of their destruction?

oh.  somethin funny happened when i was out in the next door empty lot looking for them.. i saw THIS:  it made me think of my pal ' gecko sis' - yankee :))   check it out -



BWA HAHAHAHA

(the babies were between the two fences)
HIYA 'T'

the smallest things make me think of each of one of you ,  i could make an entire post on that one -- i should do that one day.  "the things that make me think of my peeps " (not to mention - 'bring a smile to my not so  usually smiling face'.)  someone should remind me of that -- i'll do that on a day i have nothin to write about. 

i  miss knowin what's goin with y'all.  i haven't been readin blogs like i should either.  nothin personal.  know that.  like i said .. it seems that not much has been goin on here -- but really it's been crazy busy ... much of the time.  so many days -- even up to a week goes by that i don't do as much as even check my email.  the computer just hasn't been been a priority for me at all lately.  part of that could be the fact that it died.  ha!  i guess that would make some some sense eh?  kinda hard to use one if ya don't have one eh?  one day a week or two or two ago -- i was online -- of course doin my usual OCD banking etc ... next thing i knew --- well -- pictures speak better than i do --
THIS , happened ---

and i don't know why

i think the laptop was about four or five years old.  it had been through  several viruses.  it had also been actin up in many strange ways for months.  especially for the last few weeks of life.  very strange , the way it died tho.  literally -- it was workin fine one minute- and thext  - i saw -- what you see.  luckily we have a DELL credit account -- well, maybe not luckily -- i was close to havin it paid off.  but not now.  i do however, have a new laptop.  i wouldn't have done it .  maybe i would have -- but i would have felt a lot worse about it -- except for the fact that -- ' it's my birthday!'.  not really.  not yet.  it is , but not til the end of the month.  but soul kid had her birthday in march -- early march.  i swear to you -- ' it's my birthday!!!'  was every day --- for three weeks!!!   it was THE most expensive birthday that kid has had in her life.  mainly cus it included a car -- on top of a 'lemon' jeep -- that got over 1000.00 EXTRA parts and crap sunk into it before we gave up and found a different cheap beater car.  yeh, the jeep still sits in the driveway -- rotting.  -- don't ask if it's on my stress list -- cuz ya know it is.  ok-- back to my story.  yeh.  so. she really did do that -- for weeks -- we let her get away with it -- only cuz we could.  it got funny after a point -- but it also got to a point that my head almost blew a gasket.  so.  when my laptop died ???  my first 'line' was --- 'it's my birthday!'  and i wanted it ordered that day! yup. just call me veruca salt :))

 so.  i have a new laptop.  bad part?  i lost a shit ton of stuff -- some very important stuff.  and a million photos.  a lot.  a lot  alot a lot of stuff. 

but i really do need a laptop. i have a desktop-- but sittin there - for me - after a short time, gets to be plane torture, for my back - and just about every thing else too.  it took several days to get here -- but during the time i was waitin for it -- guess what i was doin anyhow?

yep -- bein bed - ridden. just about the same as the week before.  but i was actually gettin out - fishin, shoppin -- yeh , believe it.. i've started hittin antique stores here and there once in a while.  anyhow..  for a couple weeks, i was doin real well- physically, and mentally .  surprising eh?  then, it hit me like a train.  crippling , agonizing pain.  so i ended up stayin home, no fishin, no shoppin, no -- again surprising -- workin round the house even... stopped in my tracks.  i decided -- ok, time for more shots in my neck/back.  so.  i got those scheduled.  that ended up bein monday the 18th... unfortunately -- worse before better-- and i was house/bed/couch-bound - until Easter sunday.. when i could finally get up and feel well enough to clean up get dressed and we all went out for easter brunch.  which was real nice actually.  it was great to be out of the house - on my feet- with the fam.  all that stuff.  but-- soon as we got home - i hit the bed ...  today is the first day in a long while that i actually feel like i want to get out and go do somethin -- but i slept too late - soulkid is sick -- and as i write -- the day is almost gone - soulman will be home in a while -- and only God knows when i'll finish this post.  not to mention the fact -- once again there's weather - tornadoes and such breakin news on tv -- like the third day in a row.  lots of tornadoes round here lately.  first wild fires now storms, floods, and tornadoes.  so far tho-- we haven't had any damage.

i'm hungry.  just thought i'd throw that in there.  it's about time to grocery shop me thinks.  that's somethin i could go do.  do you believe it?  i actually do some grocery shoppin these days.  i have allowed myself to suck in the ego -- and use a scooter.  but it helps.  hubby and soulkid still do most of the shopping.. but i do go to base and do the big shopping maybe once a month ... those baskets on those things actually hold a lot more than i ever thought.  i still really hate to use em.  but i gotta say -- i'm a better shopper.  i can spend what they spend -- and it'll last twice as long.  we talked about that the other day (when they went shoppin) -- they spent 150-- ish.. we have nothing left.  i coulda spent the same -- and had lunch today.  but i 'couldn't go. cuz i hurt. which is usually the case.  someone should take me out to eat.  :))  i reckon i should wake up before 11.. shameful, i know. tomorrow, and go get some fewd in this place.

so anyhow.  i see this is gettin -- if it hasn't already passed - LONG.  so, aside from that - i'm in typo hell as well - with no spell check , and goin blind too.  so -- i am assuming we are all in the same boat at this time -- i think i will pick this up later -- or tomorrow -- that's more likely. 

manyana.
have a happy night folks -

see folks? i told ya i'd be back ---

and just like i thought -- soon as i get in here?  i'm too tired to say a damn thing.
maybe tomorrow.  

i miss y'all tho.  still think of everyone. 

my computer crashed -- i had shots in my neck again --  pain is a bitch -- i did actually have a life for a minute :))  ---  just life i reckon.  but i do mean to get in here and talk to y'all real soon.

later peeps -- hope y'all had happy easters, happy weekends and happy weeks ahead in your worlds!
i'lll be baaaack!

ya wanna see somethin really scary ?

i feel like judge judy -- --

and i look like charlie sheen !!!

sometimes life just goes that way in soul land-

bleh

hope things are great in your world!

i was born a ramblin soul

howdy folks!  yep - i still breathe.  sorry i haven't been around.  (insert broken record here) .  as usual -- there's been a lot goin on here.  a lot that i can't hardly remember half of. again, as usual.  i don't know where the time goes.  i really don't .  i guess we would all know that if i would write - eh?  just seems i don't have the time.  maybe i just don't have the desire.  honestly.  i think deep down, that's what it has come to.  i think i have lost my passion to blog.  i think about writing every single day.  i think about y'all, every single day.  just seems that no matter how much i -- think about writing -- i just don't. 

y'all know, even when i don't have anything to say , i find something to say.    even if it's just nonsensical babble.  that passion has simply faded until now; and i just feel that it's almost a duty to get in here and write.  nah.  that's pushing it .  it's not a duty.  i do still like it.  i think what happened is that over time - i began to feel like i need to be more clear.  make more sense.  ramble less.  and i don't think i'm capable of that.  not with my mind, or the way it works.  i feel like even tho i have a lot of friends, and readers... i leave so many speechless to what i say sometimes.  ok-- often times, that it's better to say nothing at all.

BUT - after a while of not writing -- y'all tell me you want me to write.  so hellifiknow.  damned if i do-- damned if i don't?  i really do feel connected to y'all -- and of course to my blog.  i wouldn't be here after all this time if i didn't.  i just really feel like i have done something unjust here.  i can't place it though.  i think i have hurt people that i care about.  i think-- no, i know i have put too much of me on these pages.  much of that, i know you-- or many of simply cannot understand. (in my 'soul-speak'). 
i am a person that either you 'get me'- or you don't.  i feel like i hit a spot -- in my manic -depressive state -- at some not so far behind us point -- and i really messed things up.  i messed up relationships that meant the world to me.  in and out of blogland.  most of you are still here and on my side. and i see that now.  it has been a long time that i have felt that i destroyed too much - too fast here. 
and as most - if not all - of you know... in my real world -- people close to me are only family.  i do not trust 'people'.. i don't talk to people.  i avoid people.  friends?  what the hell is that?  i went like ten years without a real life friend-- and when i let go- and let it happen.  it of course went to hell.  and ya know what?  i don't think i can even tell ya why.  i have given every opportunity to open that line of communication...   because really, it's ok.  i need an apology maybe.  or perhaps i'm the one that needs to apologize-- i think maybe explain is a better term.  i haven't been given the chance.  and that's just too bad.     in that whole experience?  i learned two things.   i was right in not having 'friends.'  and i will never let my guard down like i did in that one -- again.  i haven't so far.  and i wont.
that doesn't mean that i don't care about-- or even love y'all... i just have a bit of a protective layer over not only my heart -- again.. but also my mind this time.  


oh HELL.  that isn't even close to what i was gonna say -- i think y'all know that -- but like i said-- y'all know me by now.  i can't help myself.  i wonder what would happen if i were to be hypnotized?  i bet i'd write my book!!!!  :))

so.  yeh.  you want me back? here i am.  you want me to shut the hell up?  i will.  but not right now.  cuz i figure-- hell, i'm in here and apparently on a roll-- may as well go with it.  right?  oh shaddup and just read.  :))

ok first--- i gotta say -- i -- like most if not all of you -- i woke up to the japan news on tv.  holy crap!  i don't know about y'all, but MY first thought was JYANKEE -- also known as JY -- on my page - and maybe yours.. and many times 'gecko sis" on mine -- man, she has been my friend for a long time.   i immediately went to her blog-- the only way i, at this time know how to contact her.  luckily she is OK. and she was online. phew.  she and her family are ok. let's pray that it stays that way. i can't stop worrying.  the more i see on tv- the more i worry - even tho she is ok now. (she posted in my comments in previous post)

ya know what?  anything else i planned on saying doesn't matter right now.  i'm watchin the news -- california just got hit-- and i have a life-long friend - and more out there too.  holy crap.

belay my last on what i said about friends.  i love my friends.  i just won't be makin any new ones any time soon. 

y'all stay safe -- my prayers are with all of you who stand in danger today!

i smell onions-- and other dumb stuff in my world

it's true.  the damn rat -- i mean ground hog was right.  spring is about to sprung.  know how i know?  cuz i smell onions!  i mentioned this just before spring time last year too.  some might remember?  i had no clue why i smelled onions every time i walked outside .. until my neighbor told me.  it's wild onion - seed- or blossoms- or some such thing - blowin in the wind , then growing near by.   weird part?  i was just lookin - on google - for a pic of some to show you .. cuz i have yet to see any of the mysterious onions with the strong enough to knock ya down smell.  who knew there were so many varieties of a wild onion???  here's a few i found...

this is the kind i was lookin for --

not this --

or this ---

or any of the other 'flower lookin' ones i found online today.  i been lookin for a dang onion!  more like the top pic.  ugh.

anyhow---  sorry folks.  i have recently had a few folks check in on me.  so i figured i better get my butt in here and let y'all know i'm not smellin onions from under ground --- nope - i am still alive.  just not online a whole lot.

not much explanation to that is there?  just been doin other things.  nothin personal folks -- i've missed all of ya -- hopefully i can get to catchin up -- ehem.. shaddup -- i know i say that all the time -- sometimes it happens.  it won't be today tho -- lots to do -- actually OUT of the house.  i been out a lot lately actually.  surprised even me.  i think i'm back to hibernating tho. last couple days, i've hardly moved.  bleh.  no worries.  just a speed-bump.

i hope.  i was runnin 150 MPH this last month or so.  then .. whamo-- what happened?

i'm sure gettin out today will help.

i'll catchyall latah

hope all is well with y'all-

time flies when you aint lookin -

howdy my peeoples and peeple-ettes :))  how the hell have y'all been lately?
me?  busy.  very busy.  if not busy, then i been recoverin from busy.  some days - between the busy -- and the snow and ice storms --- pain and recoverin from pain has been number one on my agenda as well.  that or trudging thru the damn pain.  today is a pain day fo-shizzle.  to the point of bein glued to the couch all morning.  and looks like for the rest of this day as well.  so far - since i had to replace my car, after soulkid wrecking it - on new years eve day -- she has not been allowed to drive the new one.  i have done well in sticking to that rule.  today?  i was forced to give in.  i was supposed to drive her to work and pick her up -- i saw no way of driving today even being close to a possibility - in my physical state -- so i offered to let her drive my car.  of course she was thrilled -- me?  ugh.  that's the only word that comes to mind.  she has been driving her dads truck since the accident - on occasion... but my car? not once, since the day i got it.  whaaaa.

so-- if you aren't on face-book?  some wonderful things have happened for-and with my child in the last few weeks.   #1?  she graduated high school!  at the ripe old age of 16 !  before all of her friends...  they were all shocked, and jealous.  they all have the rest of the year - some a whole nuther year , before they graduate!  she surprised us all :))  not only did she complete 2 years of high school in FOUR months- she did it with 'high honors' !   when that girl sets her mind to it -- she can do anything.

days after her graduation -- she was hired at her very first job -- :))  for part time -- she is packin in the hours- (5-7 hours a day!)- workin very hard. she is well liked by all - from coworkers to upper management! 

i don't have a pic of her in her uniform yet -- but i don't think i need to tell you -- she is more than adorable in it !!!  - i will get one up heah soon.  but here's a hint --




no worries -- my soulkid is a GIRL - as most of you know.  i said a hint - and thought this one was kinda fun.  :))


she got a jeep - from us - for her grad present -- but it needed a lot more work - and parts than we were aware of -- and now - to ensure it to pass emissions - it needs a trip to a mechanic for a tune up---  which the bad weather -- mainly ice -- has pushed back til tomorrow --  but it will be road worthy by monday or tuesday -- registration and all.. it's already insured.  but it will be a welcomed relief - for all three of us when that is done.  and-- i was able to full coverage on it with a low deductible for less than 40 more a year --- than it would be for liability --- gotta say that's not much considering what it could cost if she needed to replace it in the first year.  let's all hope that is NOT the case tho.  i hope she has learned her lesson at being more careful at the wheel eh.

so -- do i sound proud of this girl or what?  she has done a full 180 this passed few months.  and i gotta tell ya -- this job is the best thing that has ever happened to her -- her habit of respect at work -- has carried over to home.  i'm lovin that you know!

hmm... i was gonna tell ya 'bout my pain, and my - what i think to be a manic-spending spree -- but i shall spare ya the deets til next time :))  kinda nice of me huh?  why turn a positive post into a cry baby post?  which really wasn't gonna whine too awful much -- but ya never know -- once i get on a roll - ya never know what ya might get -- :))

so.  things are actually goin pretty well overall around here.  i sure hope y'all are doin well in your worlds too!?

tell me bout it eh--  wussup?

happy friday peeps!
:~))

fire and ice -- WTH is goinin on

howdy folks!  warm yet?  i'm sure not.  every day seems colder -- and icier.  in turn? causing me to be less and less productive, and more and ---- let's just say quiet.  i'm really not bein bitchy -- at least i don't see it -- if i do, it could be much worse, and has been in weather, and pain like this.  but lately i just go to bed early, or 'shut it down' when i hear- or feel conflict on the way.  i hate conflict and arguing as much or more than the cold.  and i've come to realize, its much easier to excuse myself from conflict - than it is from freezing ;))

so anyhow-- it is damn freezing here in tejas.  this is our fourth day in a row of black sundays!  businesses -- to include dr's offices -- between me and soulkid - two dr. appts have been re-scheduled due to this weather- over the last three days.  ALL schools have been shut down all week. flights out of both airports - in and out (DFW and Love field )  have been disrupted - if at all.  and oddly enough, there was a major fire in an apartment building i think yesterday -- and one three alarm fire on the news right now!  also a assisted living place had pipes bust and had to be evacuated of almost 80 old folks . 

we moved here days before soulkids 7th birthday -- almost 10 years ago -- this is the worst weather we have seen.  back then - she was about 8 or 9, we had a 'major ice storm' -- they shut down schools etc -- the entire town panicked etc -- but by day three everyone was laughin about it-- roads were clear and it was all 'fear of'.  this time?  the dogs don't even last more than 45 seconds outside!  me? i don't even try!  i won't walk to the mailbox -- kinda not new -- but this time it's not a mental thing -- this time i'm in fear of freezing before i make it back to the door!  :))

my fears of the now?  another rolling black-out --- which are now lasting up to 8 hours!  it's again -- feels like 4 outside!!!!  2nd?  my mommason flies in tomorrow morning -- sorta-- around 11 a.m.  there are still issues with flights -- NM - and here.... no tellin how that will go -- but there's no way i can drive - so now soulman has to get her after work -- which means -- she will have to sit at the airport for maybe three hours alone before he can get her!  IF her flight can go.  i feel so bad for that.  the plan was that i would pick her up-- but i get mental driving on ice -- due to a wreck on ice with soulkid when she was 5 -- and again a ice storm and a horrible three hour wait-drive over the santa rosa mountains in NM -- in frickin march years ago-- alone... sooo many horrible wrecks-- coronor vehicles-- one PT cruiser ripped right in half.  same trip i almost crashed twice myself on black ice. i just can't do it.  the last time i did?  was a couple years ago i went to iowa -- scared shitless -- snow-ice- losin my ass end.  i survived obviously-- but not without bein reminded -- ice on the road is not my friend!

SO.  was that too whiny?  wasn't meant to be-- just updatin .  flash-backin :~)

as far as my progress on my chores yesterday?   let's just say --- epic fail.  i got very little 'work' done.  i had some problems on an account or two-- payin bills online -- which took a lot of time-- i finally gave in and wrote checks -- which didn't make it to the mailbox yet :))  for reasons above.  bleh.   as for housework?  i'm down to my office.  soulman - due to his month long pneumonia, and vacation, and this week helpin with other stuff - and workin on soulkids jeep -- and a dozen other projects -- has still not got the floor trim laid in the office -- so i'm down to just givin in and puttin my furniture back in place and gettin things where they belong in there -- without the trim.  i hate that it won't look right -- but we'll just have to do it again when he does have time.  i've been a mess without my office-- and it sure hasn't helped the house-- i have 'portable offices ' all over the place.  so -- i didn't really get to that at all yesterday -- i must get it finished today now.  i just don't know if i have it in me.  maybe soulkid will piss me off or something.  anger is my second best motivation -- after company :))

ok -- did i miss anything?

stay warm peeps !!!!

poor dallas is sufferin big time for the weather -- superbowl week -- in an ice storm -- weeee?  just not makin the money they expected are they.  money grubbin- whooooors.  :))  that'll teach em to jack up all their prices.  :))  i do feel bad for the folks who paid a lot of money to get here and planed a good time - and are now trapped in their hotels.  other than that -- i hope the greedy learn a lesson. 

my dads most memorable quote--as a father of 4 girls -- what do greedy girls get? -- NUTHIN

i miss my daddy-

happy freezin thursday y'all -

oh-- about my recent cooking?  the kitchen has been so clean, it doesn't bother me.  i've missed my cookin-- but damn sure appreciate the families help!  i'd be starved for sure if they hadn't taken over the shopping and cookin this last year or so.  it's been a real self esteem booster lately to realize i CAN do these things still with a little mental steam and gusto though.  it sure has beeen a while since i've felt that in me!

procrasti-soul is at it again

howdy folks-- what's up in y'alls worlds?  whatever it is , i hope you're not freezin to death !  here's what i woke up to this morning---  very much like yesterday morning -- except colder.  y'all know how much i love the cold don't ya???  i can't believe that only four days ago we hit 70 degrees!!!  i was in my own heaven - sittin on the edge of the pond fishin'.  y'all know that's when i'm my most content.  my happiest.  doin what i love, fishin in the warm sunshine -- without wind - or cold.  even though i didn't catch a thing -- i didn't care -- i didn't even try very hard.  i was in my happy place.
this last couple days?  i am in my true hell.  have a look ----

this is my most huge contempt in my world.  it makes me hateful, and it hurts me all over-- physically.  i cannot, and refuse to drive or go outside in this stuff.  there's an inch of ice on the roads.  the wind chill/ feels like is 4 !! actual temp? around 14 !!  yup i'm in hell !!!!  this is texas folks ! this just isn't supposed to happen here.  oh- and to make matters worse?  rolling blackouts !!  HERE? in the worst ice and snow we've had in maybe years -- they decide to -- without warning -- start freakin - "rotating power outages"  :((  they are 'supposedto last 15 minutes -- some have reported them as long as two hours.  the 'DART' system.. a train that runs in dalls - like a trolley on tracks kinda... was stranded in this freezin weather -  for over two hours due to power loss !  no warning -- it just shut down in transit - with passengers.  freezing!  my microwave and oven must be on some kind of -- somethin-- cuz i can't re-set em.  am i pissed?  umm you know it.  i'm only gonna get worse if it happens again.  if i end up freezin in my own house?   oooooh  --- someones gonna hear from me.  i know they won't care--- but i'll feel better :))

and ! they say stupid groundhog paxatuxy puke -- yeh i know-- i forgot his name --- but he predicted an early spring?  HA!  lets not celebrate too soon shall we?

so.  ya wanna know where soulkid got a job ehh?

Sonic.  i think it's an alright first job.  she will be a roller-skating car-hop... after two weeks training.  i told her she better get down to the skating rink and get to practicing !  she hasn't skated since she was -- maybe 12!  wish her much luck!

my house is almost finished -- but each day that passes - i get more and more slow-- ok-- exhausted and sore. (i'm sure the weather isn't helpin any ) -  we have made a ton of head-way in here .. and soulkid has been bustin her ass upstairs... but seriously?  with my limitations?  i have passed them all - like two days ago.  i last a lot less workin durin the day.  the first couple i was workin maybe 5 or 6 hours -- runnin like a freight train.. by yesterday?  i was lucky if i worked two hours.  i hope i can push through a little more than that today -- if i can , i might get all finished.  there's very little left to do.  i hope i finish, without collapsing.  that has happened in the past when i've pushed myself too far.

anyhow --- if i forgot anything - lemmee kow- and i'll cover it in the comments .

happy days to y'all in your worlds--
surprisingly, my mood has been great -- it's just my body that's havin a tough time here and  God made drugs for that :))

i've been skewered.....

stick me with a fork... i am soooo done.  burnt.  fried.   toast. i wish i could say i was 'finished'.  but that is not the case.  i still have tons to do, but this body of mine sure is sore, and done. kaput. finito. ruined. wrecked .  belly-up, burned out, wiped out  ... ok - i'll stop.   but i am DONE.  stick a fork in me - done.  BLEH....

i did get a chance to go outside and play a little the other day.  the sun was shining, it was a beautiful day out, so i went fishin.  i didn't catch anything, but it was still just nice to be outside for a while in the fresh air and sunshine for a couple hours.  i didn't really try very hard to catch anything, it was fun just to be by the water in my kind of weather.

yesterday though, soulman had to go pick up a few things, and on his way home he made a pit stop at 'his' pond....  he put forth more effort than i did, aside from bein at a different body of water --- and looky what he dragged in --  dawg.  :))  -- that's his size 13 shoe next to it ---

                                                          i was only a little jealous :))


tomorrow is supposed to be another real nice weather day -- high 60's.  i'm hopin we can take a few minutes and enjoy some of it... otherwise, it's another kill ourselves around here day.  we're makin progress -- spring cleaning , purging stuff on out of here, - soulman built a dining table -- kinda -- i'll show ya next time,  just a lot of work goin on.  i'm only good for a few hours in the morning - then i'm ruined by 3 or so.  but we're gettin there. 

be good peoples -

i'm always late - but in sloth time i'm actually prompt

just tryin to make myself not look so bad there.  i've meant to get in here for days and get those pix i promised up-- i just got busy.  maybe i'm not such a sloth these days after all . 
my mother in law (Mommason) is coming in a few days , to watch soulkid graduate, and i have been killing myself trying to get things in order, and get caught up on all my business stuff, and also the pre - graduation biz - getting her to her final exams etc -- which -- she passed - with flying colors!!!  woo hoo !!!  then , getting her grad-gown paid for -delivered- picked up and pressed , gettin her shoes and outfit for graduation day.  i've been out doin somethin just about every single day for a couple weeks, and if i haven't been out - i've been workin in the house.
then this passed three days i have been hammered with some crazy back pain.  almost unforgiving.  and relentless.  yesterday - it was literally do- or die, i had to go to the grocery store.  i was literally forced to use a motorized scooter to shop in.  it was the first time i have done major shopping in one of those, and i have to admit- i think i shrunk a little inside.  them things though?  i gotta say they hold a ton more shit than i ever thought they did.  i spent a fortune.  but we were out of every damn thing in the house.  sure feels good to have some food in this place.  and all the other necessities.  we have been forced to eat fast food for the last week.  that or pantry leavin mystery dinners.  it's not been fun, but we have all been busy in our own ways lately .

i always get sticker shock - or panic when i overspend -- but then i remember to thank God we can afford to eat.  there's been times we couldn't.

i also realized - at the store - that not everybody is an asshole in this world.  although i didn't except it-- at the register , two different women, that didn't work there - asked if i would like them to help me unload my basket.  i declined , but it did make me feel good.-- and you know me-- it did embarrass me a little too.  but again-- i gotta say -- without the scooter? there is no way possibly that i could have completed that task pushing a cart.  not in the pain i was in... and honestly?  in my current condition--- i wouldn't have been able to push that cart after about the first ten or fifteen minutes into it.  face it folks.  i'm ruined.  i have passed my limit.  this really sucks.  perhaps by admitting it and realizing it -- i can stop letting it beat the hell out of me, and just deal with it and make the appropriate changes eh?  instead of letting it beat me... and hide at home feeling defeated. i say i can't shop -- but i did.  i didn't like the way i had to do it ... but i got it done.. and it didn't kill me.  and i also say i can't cook -- but guess what?  i cooked last night-- and i promised hubby that tonight i would cook again.  it's been way too long that i been sayin 'i can't'... that really isn't 'me'.. all it does is depress me, or guilt me.  today -- i'm re-claiming my damn life-

ok... where that came from -- i don't know.  more for me i guess. just kinda spillin thoughts maybe.

anyhow -- here's some pix i was talkin about the other day ----

this is the one i bought   -- for 50 +$

this is the other one i saw later --- for 210.00 !!!!

this is a cool corner shelf i got -- cuz i have too much crap and no where to put it!

i saw a ton of other stuff i wanted to get -- but i had to stop spendin money.  i can't wait to go back !!!
they had an awesome antique bed i wanted to get for my guest room... i would have got it -- woulda had to use a credit card - but i would have splurged --- but --- the mattresses - which were in like new condition - didn't go with it.  i can't afford that and new mattresses - so i had to pass.  it was real nice though.  my mommasson would have loved it.  oh well. it was best i didn't get it .  (700.00)
i do plan to do the guest room in antiques tho.  i have a good start already -- scattered throughout the house :))

anyhow -- as usual, i have a busy day ahead -- so i better get started --
hope y'all have happy days in your worlds -- and better weekends ahead !

it's gonna be 70 glorious degrees here in soulland today !!!!  if i was smart - i'd put my work off and go FISHIN !!!  hmmmmm....  i really should go huh?  help me ease my conscience and put off my responsibilities.  it won't be 70 degrees again maybe for the rest of 'winter.'  i deserve to fish don't i?  70 !  inside workin?  outside playin?  inside?  outside?  fresh air?  stinky litter/pet/ heater air?  fish?  work?   sun?  artificial light?

ok i'll stop.

happy friday !!!!