well, if one thing's consistant around here - - -

.....  it's the fact that i have run out of bloggin gas.  that last post was not a natural flow of smooth soul blabbin, like it used to be.  the other day, that post just didn't come together like i thought it would.   i reckon the only reason i'm in here now - after a day of thinkin , -- 'maybe i should just let it go for good' -- is cuz i , once again can't sleep. i am once again, up with a pain issue that won't let me sleep- or stay asleep. well,  that - and the fact that i'll prolly never totally stop bloggin.  it isn't my first and last thought of the day anymore-- hasn't been for quite some time.  but the spark is still there.  and i know that if i continue to write -- the soul-ramblin-rythm will return.  we shall see.

to be totally honest?  aside from the pain?  i think i'm in here - and awake - mainly because of the huge ass tornado's ravaging the entire eastern US. and my easily worried mind.

surely by now y'all have seen this stuff on the news?  i'm prayin y'all out that way are safe, especially if you have been hit, near hit , or damaged by those storms.

 it was about 6 pm here when i saw the pictures on the news of the half mile wide tornado in Birmingham Alabama.  half a damn mile wide folks!  my heart sank.  i immediately called my friend out there -- i got sent straight to voice-mail, and no word since.  :((  LBF -- call me asap when you can..

we have had nothin but 'breaking news' out here for the last three or four days, about our own tornado breakouts.. more than twelve just the other day in areas east of us. some closer - nuthin severe -- not like'this'.    the (my)whole area has been callin TV channels bitchin for them to stop interrupting their 'programs'.  SO what happens last night when i WANT to see what's goin on in Alabama?  they show  nuthin!  ERG! maybe five minutes of the huge ass tornado touchin down.. tearin through birmingham, and nearby areas.  awful to watch might i add?  all i could do was shake my head in disbelief.  it was unreal.  i wanted it to be a dream.. it wasn't.

the last, and only time i ever saw anything like this size of a tornado was in 1999, when one of similar size ripped through oklahoma.  i lived in whichita - (AKA- Tornado alley) -but, i was visiting in california with soulkid at the time.  it was -- april 29th, 1999.  soulman was home alone in KS -- to face the the wrath of the 'leavins' by himself - in our basement.  sometimes - even still,  i wish i woulda skipped my visit to cali - and stayed home too.  prolly woulda been better than the emotional tornado i faced on my 'hell-cation' . bah !  (i was visiting a terminally ill - very long time best friend.  it of course didn't go well, as the cancer had hit her brain by that time.  --  i say i'd trade it, due to the confusion of her mind -- but never would i really.  we were able to 'say goodbye' - folks don't get that opportunity very often-.

i stand corrected

5-3-1999

*side note*

i think this is about where i fell asleep -- luckily it was saved to draft.  ugh.

nuthin like sleep bloggin eh?



so. need i  mention i'm just as confused as i was last night?  still no more new news, or word as to  what is goin on with all my other eastern U.S. peoples. 'cept,  i saw a bit of the news early this morning -- , but they still aren't showin much here in DFW.  i've so far heard , of course AL, FL, and even VA!  i have peeps spread all over that way.  no word on Arkansas -- anyone know about out there?  i have family there.  chicago i have a nephew and pregnant neice in law there -- and a bloggee pal.  then,  -- FL.. = two nephews.  if i had a map i'd know exactly how many friends/family are out that way -- but for now?  i can only worry, in the bliss of my ignorance -- and hope that everyone -- not only my own peeps -- but you and yours too, are safe and sheltered. 

 y'all know it doesn't take much to get me worried about y'all - or anything else for that matter.  so -- anyone out that way -- gimmee a shout out - lemmee know what you know eh?  lemmee know you're alright, and  any of my buddies- or anyone in touch with them -  are too. k?  thanks.

anyhow-- let's get offa that subject. shall we?

- now - here i am again, two cups of coffee down my gullett,chased with a couple pain killers,  and just as tired as i was then.-

*lovely*

i guess i'm tired folks. i won't let it ruin my day tho.  i can't.  i'm in soul-hell.  yes, again.  a million and one things to catch up on -- or evein begin...  but first ! -- i have to try to get in touch with some of friends who may have been in the path of the tornadoes .  i can only hope that they are all - alright.  then regardless of what i hear -- if anything -- cuz i think the phones were down when i tried calling last night.... i need to continue on with what i hope to be a productive day.  i have been like a bad still life painting for weeks!


at this point in time i am considering returning to bed --- but i cannot do that. better yet shouldn't.  even though my body and mind beg for me to rest.  i did that yesterday. all day.  i know i need it on certain days -- it's not like i'm in the best 'shape' of my life --   but i can guilt myself to death if i let me.   

one of my  best and worst attributes.

here's to happy and safe days to you all out in your worlds today !!!