soul-land-ings

hiya peeples-

how's things in your worlds?

here, i'm just enjoyin the silence for the moment actually.  well, the silence around me i should say. the silence in my head -- well, that's a whole nother question.  quite a bit goin on in there - i'll get to that in a minute.

but as for here at home, around me?  ahhhh.  the animals are quiet-- and soulman, AND soulkid -- are at work.  which puts me all by myself -- alone -- to enjoy my smoke - n- choke in peace, for what seems to be a long time. 

i know for some, that means loneliness.  for me?  it's my time.  no tv.  no x-box live crap.  just the sound of silence -- and it really is golden. 

i have been a stressed out disaster of a mess for what seems to be -- months.  i don't even know why really.  but i have got to a point of non functioning, and total exhaustion.  between physical pain, and mental stress and -- whatever.. it's been paralyzing for me.  not to mention flat out d-e-p-r-e-s-s-i-n-g.
i have raised meds -- lowered meds -- stopped meds -- started back on meds. chain smoked- cut back on cigs.   rested.. not rested.. got up - and crashed.

 i even found myself in the emergency room a few days ago -- chest pain, side pain, and racing heart -- i was at the point that i believed that i was having another blood clot (pulmonary embolism-- or perhaps a heart attack) -- turned out to be 'nothing-- thank God. -- but of course - i always feel foolish when i go to a dr - especially ER -for 'nothin .. but better safe, than sorry eh?

i will admit -- it was easing on my mind tho - to know that my heart, and lungs were ok.  i think i was stressed over stressin that they were not.

i have also been worried a lot -- about the dang horrible storms and tragedies in places where i have dear friends.. some of which i still am not sure of how some of my friends are doing.  japan, alabama (i know those peeps are ok) ---

but now tennessee - i have a lot of peeps there in several different areas -- i didn't even hear about problems there until a couple days ago -- yeh , i'm a hermit-- y'all know that.  but seriously-- WTF is UP with all of this ??  and let me know how y'all are ok?

 even we here have had our share of storms, tornadoes,  and even wild fires of all things.  nothing too bad near us.  but some areas are trying and failing to get help from obama.  what a freakin crazy time for so many .

and what about osuma?  really think he is dead?  and if so.. why not end the damn war, and bring our people home?  was he not the main goal of this entire thing?  if he is dead -- let's end it.  especially if he is dead, and we have a entire new threat of terror 'here'.. what good are we 'there'?  this whole thing has me up in arms.  pic?  no pic?  buried at sea?  really?  it's all just weird.  but if it is true?  rock on SEAL team 6!

on a lighter note?  how was y'alls moms day?  hope it was grand!  mine was nice-  smoked brisket -- nice surprise gifts,  got a nice new fishin rod-- what else right?  and a nice relaxing lotion - primping basket /candle gift from my soulkid.  nice all around day.  hope yours was good too.

we also got to baby dog sit my mommasons dog -- a min pin for a week, while she and her sister , used our time share to visit their other sister .  he was a trip.  but also a lot of fun.  he got along with all the other animals.  sushi was very jealous - but also had fun playing with him. his name is Duke,

and of course -- i am loved by all -

animals.

i also had another surprise-- yep - douglass - the cat -- put his foot in my eye while i was sleeping !  well sort of- i heard him drinking my water-- grabbed him, and drug him over my face, to get him away from it.  that's when his foot landed in my eye! very painfully, i might add.  the next morning, i noticed my eye was all red and bloody 'looking' in the white area.  i worried about infection, so went to the dr.  for antibiotics.  little did i know-- it is state law in texas -- to report to animal control of any bite or scratch of an animal!!  douglasss has been on 'home quarantine'.. thank God they didn't come and take hi to lock him up at the shelter!  but today is the day i have to take him to the vet for his 'well check' and drop 50 bucks -- and take a damn form to animal control to prove he is up to date on his shots and doesn't have rabies. 

it's been a roller coaster of a couple weeks -- but i am alive.  trying to chill out some.

cheers y'all -- have a couple for me- i could use em-

monday mad libs

yeh -- whatever that means, right?

anyhow-- guten morgen folks. how's it goin for ya today? hope it's as well as any monday can be. here? it's a monday.

i don't really have anything new to report from here. everything is really just kinda stagnant at the moment. i checked the weather this morning when i put the dogs out-- hoping, that by some miracle i might be able to go fish for a little while over at the pond. but howdaya think that went? yeh, you're right. cold, cloudy, and crappy out there. just like it has been for days. i am really gettin tired of this weather lately. worse than that? when we are blessed with a nice day that i could go fishin? somethin gets in the way. of course. a dr. appointment. catchin up on sleep for some reason. flat out slothfulness-bein unable or unwilling to get offa my arse. but noooo, when i do happen to feel well enough to get the hell out of the house, and get air and do something for myself? it's raining. or too windy. or cold. or like i said - some other obligation prevents that. i smell a resentment comin on. don't you?
this can't be good.

even tho i do like home, and most of the time i choose to stay home.... this is gettin a bit too like prison. i can't leave soulkid alone much at all, and she has been out of school for over a month !!! are ya feelin me? she acts like a four year old at times for my attention. if and when i do try to work on my checkbook or bills , she distracts me so much it's impossible. she always wants to 'go somewhere' which always, in the end cost some amount of money-- even if it's only lunch -- that's 20-30 + a day just to walk out the door. i don't mean to make her sound bad-- just venting really. but y'all. i'm goin crazy here. at least in the summer time we have a couple trips planned, and besides that all her friends will also be out of school and bored too-- they can do things together and not always be under my watch. but seriously -- do they have day-care for teenagers? kill meh.

ok i'll stop. but thanks for listenin. :))

anyhow-- remember yesterday i said i would find us a 'coffee fairy' ?
do y'all realize how virtually impossible it is to find one on google? i spent literally in total, i bet 4-5 hours on that lil task -- and came up, pretty much empty. me? the google queen, couldn't even find a coffee fairy. i know. i am too. i'm disappointed in my own self. but here ya go-- it's really the best i could come up with -- i'll put a couple up-- but the winner just happens to be a frickin cartoon ! :((

(who needs coffee? )


(who needs a head?)

(who needs a real man?
the "coffee fairy" is a fantasy anyhow right?)

so my friends there is monday morning in soul-land. i'll try to work on growing some semblance of a life around here. if you remember, i was doin pretty good on that for a while -- til life came to a screeching halt. i am workin on it tho. y'all know things turn on a dime around here-- so be ready, anything can happen, at any time. don't give up on me yet.


anyhow-- i do hope y'all have great days in your worlds today -- still dark and wet here in mine. perhaps i'll finally wash my laundry. maybe.

ahhhhh. i know. maybe i'll venture out and purchase a coffee maker? how bad can it be? ya do know i have poor mans PTSD? what if i faint at the check out?
kidding. it only feels like i will. i never really have. there's a first time for everything tho right?

ok-- i'm gone-

sorry folks--

i'm thinkin i need a couple days off --

it's just one -a - those -kinda weeks

i'd rather not spread the negativity-
or blab about the piling up of -
well, shit.

so - i'll just lay low for a little while.

i'll be back tho.
y'all know i never stay away long.

i'm just lacking in the blog -spirit.
maybe when i catch up with myself
i'll be more focussed .

i will tell ya one thing that happened recently-
like two nights ago-
the dogs went at it again-
this time-
sushi managed to kick eevee's ass !
it was sort of even - sushi bled like a stuck pig- and lost a bit of EAR !
but - eevee is still limping, and we can't check the wound below her arm-
lest she take our hands off.
trust me, she's tried.
this go round-- was initiated by---
none other than SPOT- the freakin cat.
ugh.
vet bill?
no vet bill?
trying to decide.
one more day of limping--
she will have to go to the dog-tor.
dammit !


so--
do you want more of this?

or THIS ???

yep--
i thought so--

see ya soon