My Candy Bar Taste Test (friday pt 2)

well, last night i was having a candy bar craving. i decided i wanted a skor. but, i wanted a BIG one. well hubby went in to get it...when he came out, he said they didn't have the big ones so he got one of each.. a heath and a skor. so i said, kool, now i can decide which one i like best. i already had an idea that i liked the skor better. but now came the true test. so... i always save the "best" for last...so i ate the heath first. and actually, it did taste somewhat bland, in comparison to the skor as i remembered it tasting. not as sweet, not as ...well, just not as good. skor tastes a lot more like almond roca...just less nutty. you can taste the butter better in the skor. so... i didn't really like the heath so much...not while comparing it, and knowing that i had a skor sittin there waiting for me.
soooo... i finish the heath bar... and a couple minutes later...i rip into the skor bar. winner, hands down. no wonder they named it SKOR! that is some yummy stuff. the only thing i didn't like in the difference of the two is that skor is a bit more sticky or chewy...harder to get out of your teeth.l..especially if you have a cold drink with it.
but as for taste...
it's SKOR...hands down!!!!
and that's what i have to say about that.
now, i must get busy. lest i never get up from this chair. and that is sooo easy to do sometimes.

Same fish different day

it's all in the presentation. see how just the way ya hold a fish can make it look bigger? is that not cool? he really was kinda short and fat, but the other pic made him look long and kinda skinny...either way...he was a niiice fish. i wish we woulda had the scales!

anyhow... i have to do my crap O' the day... i shall return.

oh btw..you can click these pics to see better...the fish looks even bigger in the enlarged pix. :))

i've been adjusted !!!

takin someones advice and going to adjust my attitude :))

so far, today hasn't been too bad. i must admit i can't force myself away from this doctor resentment though. it's not just the one i had the tag thing with yesterday. that just dug it all up. so i am just stewing in a pot of memories and incidents of the past twelve years of crappy dr's. sso few that could be considered even somewhat good at what they are trained for. ugh.

so anyhow... y'all don't need to hear that..it just helps me to spew sometimes.

i did accomplish some things today...which is good. cleaned my kitchen, did my dishes, laundry, bedroom, livin room, and cooked a good dinner...again. didn't manage to get my calls and stuff done. i don't know why it's so hard for me to pick up the damn phone. i have put off these phone calls for a month...and they are pretty darn important. hmmmm. phone-o-phobia?

anyways... on to the attitude adjustment... i almost forgot all about that part. my senile! i'm gonna go fishin at the pond with hubby in a few minutes. also gonna get a candy bar on the way. i have been craving a candy bar since last night. PMS does that to me. usually i don't eat much sweet stuff. but i want chocolate!

soooo what are y'all doin today-tonight? anything good or bad happen to anyone? anything extremely wonderful that you just must blab about???
tell me about your day...

i hope y'all are having good days/nights

more random shit about me... a meme if you will :)

I know ~ enough to get by

I believe ~ in GOD

I fought ~ too damn hard to get where I am

I am angered ~ by doctors and government systems almost equally

I love ~ my God, my family, my pets, and the people I consider my friends.

I need ~ to get the hell out of debt and stay that way, and a bit more patience in life

I take ~ way too much shit from people, before I speak up.

I hear ~ very poorly

I drink ~ too much coffee and tea

I hate ~ having to see doctors that don’t know…or do shit.

I use ~ hmmmm. The coffee pot first thing every morning

I want ~ a knowledgeable, understanding freakin doctor.. but I don’t think any exist

I decided ~ that today is not a good day to quit smoking…I’m entirely too bitchy

I like ~ my blog pals!... and fishing!

I am ~ a bit of a prude…and a bitch

I feel ~ pretty crappy lately.

I left ~ a lot of people and places behind in my life

I do ~ more than I should. sometimes.

I hope ~ this crap will get better someday

I dream ~ of peace in my life...physical, and emotional..for me and my family.

I drive ~in a state of confusion.

I listen ~ intently ... most of the time...when i can hear.

I type ~ better than i write!

I think ~ entirely too much for my own damn good!

I wish ~ things would smooth out, and just be normal and right for a change.

I compensate ~ for for just about everything with sarcasm , when i can

I regret ~ too much.

I care ~ too much.

I should ~ definitely learn moderation. in everything. money, food, smoking, all of it.

I am not always ~ "with it".

I said ~ more than I needed to. cuz i just cannot shut up!

I wonder ~ about everything.

I changed ~ a lot in the passed ten years. and not so much for the better

I cry ~ less than i used to..

I am ~ a bitch, but i hide it well most of the time.

I am not ~ as assertive as i wish i could be.

I lose ~at most battles i get in.

I leave ~ before i get left...usually.

here are my dogs..... again....see why i missed them?

i'm never gonna get caught up

i have to get off this computer before my brain melts.
i will rearrange, and post other pix latah.
i will also try to get caught up on comments.
if i don't make it to comments, do not feel neglected...just realize, that i am far behind on everything...and my mind is in NM with my child.
i must go get my errands done...have to drive again...gawd! and go pay my rent. crap! etc etc etc.
why can't i just stay in my jammies all day and do nuthing?

Another Weekend Escape

(CLICK NOTEBOOK PAGES FOR EASIER READING..OR YOU WILL GO BLIND!)

(i will scan and post the record photos later..i'm sick of scanning at the moment!)

get my fish brotha man!

(there are one or two of me and the kid...but they are on HER camera.. in NM. :(
it's sooo weird to wake up and NOT go in her room to check on her :{

helloo..anybody here?

i'm almost finished scanning my weekend handwritten blog. fun stuff! NOT!
i will have it up in a few. be patient. it's a lot of stuff.

HI PEEPS !!!! I"M BACK!!!

i missed everybody! i see y'all said hi... even though you knew i didn't even have a computer! how sa-weet of you!!! nice to have a welcome home. :))

anyhow... even though i didn't have acess to a computer to blog with... i am so ate up, and wanted to keep y'all up to date , to such an extent... that i hand wrote at least twenty or thirty pages while i was out there!!! i will warn you now that my handwriting resembles that of a six year old... but i am sure you will survive it. i am going to scan it later, and post some photos too. not many, and mostly of hubby and bro in law fishin. me and the young un didn't really leave the room much. but we had fun.

i won't get to that until fairly late...i'm guessing. because they have to fly out at 7 tonight... gotta get the kids laundry done...then dinner.. then, the lovely drive to dallas... and the dreaded "goodbye" to my hip... i mean, my daughter. :(( then of course, the wonderful, drive back from dallas. i'm never driving again!

ok. anyhow. i'm gonna go TRY and see what y'all have been up to, but may not have time to comment right now. i will get caught up with everyone probably in the morning, when i am able to finally have some down time.

i sure hope everyone is ok, and had a great weekend.

i'm back..for a sec...

was just takin a break... I just dropped my babies off at the kennel. awww. it's horrible to leave them at those places. i always worry about them. especially midnight. she could kick the bucket any day, and i don't want that to happen and me not be there.
now i just need to finish dishes, vac the floor, clean out my car...load the car...and we are outta heah!

ok.. anyhow..i was just checkin to see if anyone had anything to say, but either y'all are busy ...or ya thought i was already gone.

anyhow.. i was wrong..we will be back sunday night, not monday night... so will c ya then.


byeee

i KNOW I am working...BUT

i just jumped on to see if anyone was talkin to me. :) it's an addiction...or obsession. haven't figured out which yet.
but anyhow...i came across this post. i just love to read marks writing. go check this one out.
ok..i'm outta here..still packin. YES...i too wait to the very last second to do such tedious tasks! bad me.
bye.

The Naked Soul "The Magic Of Life"

Soul-Sickness

ya know... i been thinkin...
now, does anything good ever actually come from THAT sentence? written, OR spoken?
just thought i'd ask.


i hate conflict...and i hate doubt...i hate bullshit...and i hate lack of trust. right? oh, and i hate "rejection". it doesn't have to be direct rejection. it just has to be rejection "perceived by ME" ... because I am ME, afterall. right?

so anyhow.. i have been "ill" for what literally feels like weeks... though, it has really been like four days. i don't feel "so" bad this morning. aside from my throat. and i FINALLY got some freakin meds for that. (and the belly etc). but ya know what? i had to go through hell yesterday to get that. HOURS upon HOURS of HELL.

so, back to the "thinkin" thing. maybe my head is just not in the right place right now. lack of food, lack of meds, being literally bedridden and fatigued, in pain, watching the house fall apart around me, feeling guilty because my daughter has been cooped up for a week. perhaps.

then there's the other stuff.. the bills that aren't getting paid, the extra money on meds and doctors going out, did i mention being stuck in friggin bed feeling worse by the day, rather than better? this is not how i want to live.

my brother in law is coming to visit in like one week. (hubbys bro) . my entire house looks like fuckin hell has been turned loose here. i did get a bed for him, like three days or so before i had the GI scope, etc done... yet it remains gathering dust in the garage. "the guest room" still sits begging; waiting to be cleared out and decorated into a bedroom vs. a storage room. the kitchen? don't even ask. i won't even mention the entire rest of the place that is in dire need of attention. so what does all this mean? i am forced to immediately transfer myself, from death bed, to "robo -maid" overnight??? UGH.

this and more really does nuthing good for my frame of mind. and this shit is MY world.

what about BLOG world? can anyone say "mind fuck"? that's what this whole blog thing is becoming for me this past few days. is it my frame of mind? i hope it is. cuz i feel a major NEED to "Step AWAY from the computer" for a while. the petty arguments...the i can be worse off than you, funnier than you, better than you, ... what the hell? (by "you", i don't necessarily mean myself..it's a general statement). you means all of us.

why did i open myself up to faceless people in the first place? i got myself in the middle of places i should have never gotten in front of! or perhaps behind even. and now here i am... all pissed off and confused about people and shit that just plays games with my mind...and it's the same shit that always has. the same shit i said i would never get into again. but here i am, doing the same dumb shit AGAIN.

i hope that i can manage to get my meds going again today, and get some food...solid , nutritional real food...to go down, today.... and STAY there. i hope i can manage to stand on my feet, and sit upright in a chair, and get some cleaning etc accomplished here...without barfing, or fainting.

and i can only hope that it will make a difference.

if not... i just may shut this fucker down, and write my book.

here's a little sumthin sumthin to lighten the atmosphere

y'all have to go read this!

http://tobeme.wordpress.com/

the have a little faith one..posted jul 18.

by: The Naked Soul

awesome stuff!

and so where i have been...and also where i am going. ack!

i'm alive...coulda fooled me

hi everybody!
thanks y'all... for all the well wishes, prayers , thoughts, encouragement... and hopefully that extra cup of coffee you drank for me today...because...for once, i didn't get a headache this time...so who is gonna take the credit for that one? :))

anyhow, i am home... i am alive...and it at this point seems that i will be staying that way. the good news is ...there is NO bleed. the bad news is... i have no idea why i feel so shitty. but anyhow...
let's back up shall we...?

we first get there, do all the papers etc... they didn't make me give them ANY money..WOO HOO. but i will get a bill...for 20 percent...of a still unknown amount. whatever. i like surprises...sometimes.

we got there at 730...got all prepped , vitals, etc, and set up in a room w/hubby for i don't know how long, not long really...they took me in at 945 for the scope. it's not done under anesthesia, it was demerol w / valium i think. which in a way is good... because i don't handle anesthesia well anyhow. BUT... i do have a high tolerance for "drugs". even though the strongest thing i currently take is friggin asperin. (not counting xanax)... so anyhow... one time before... many years ago, i had a procedure done, under this same type of drug...and i friggin woke up! i have literally and seriously been traumatized by that experience. so ever since then.. if i do things like this, i tell them... i have a high tolerance...give me extra. others have... apparently this guy did NOT. know why i know? because i woke up! i didn't know what the hell was goin on. i felt like i had a damn chainsaw in my throat! i choked and tried to pull back and get up, and spit the damn "thing" out of my mouth. i really could have caused him to injure me! i feel the nurses hols me down and someone push the thing back in my mouth...he's telling me he's biopsying my "something"... almost done. i don't care if he's almost done...that shit HURT.
now y'all know, i live every day of my damn life in some sort of pain... head, back, neck, stomach. tooth....name it... if it belongs to me, on one day or another the shit hurts. BUT THIS... OMG... it made me cry! i haven't cried due to physical pain in i can't remember when. maybe the breast lumpectomy may have made me cry. i don't remember. but this shit made me cry. but whatever he was cutting...or pulling..or ripping out of me, was almost finished, cuz it wasn't all that much longer before he did finish. but i still cried for a while. i was still crying even after they went and found hubby to bring in there. it SUCKED! and then they go on to tell me it's gonna be sore for another two to three days. LOVELY. i still have that novacaine feeling in my throat and still feel pain...not as severe of course..... but ... i am fearing the pain. ugh.

so anyhow... i was a cry baby. i still haven't had any coffee. or water for that matter. they said there was a choke risk, so i had to wait til... 11:50 to drink "sips of water"... BULLSHIT!... i'm havin coffee! i even started a pot as soon as we got home. so it would be ready and waiting. but hubby is being a stickler, i just asked him to bring me a cup...he says...it's not 1150..and you haven't had water yet. ooooh...i'm gonna make HIS throat hurt if he doesn't bring me coffee within the next three minutes! LOL

ok... rewind again... as for any results... i don't have any. except that there was no bleeding, and there was some sort of i don't remember how they said it... but my esophagus had been closing/closed??? so the did something to make it wider. (dialated?). that's all i know so far. oh he gave me a rx for something too. but i don't remember what. we dropped it off , hubby will pick it up later.

anyways... i'm falling asleep ... i better get off her. just wanted to check in.
hubby won't give me coffee..til i have my medicine. at first i thought...how mean..i'll kill you. then i took a drink of water. first one since last night. it hurt like hell. good hubby. now i fear HOT coffee in my throat, when cool water hurt me. i think i shall just go to sleep and attempt the coffee later on. maybe

laterz peeps
have good days

Tuesdays Gone With The Wind...

hi all.........
here i sit, once again, with cottonmouth, and direct orders to NOT drink anything until after my appointment. oh man, it's killing me. especially smoking with such a dry mouth. anyone ever driven through death valley in the summer, with no air conditioning? that about describes my mouth right now. lovely, i know. but it's true.

going and having a giant snake like camera stuck down my throat is really not my idea of the way i would choose to spend my day, but , the clock is ticking quickly this morning. i'd really rather not do this, and i'm sure that hubby would rather do something other than sit at the hospital waiting for hours for me to get done. again. poor guy. how many times he's had to wait for me at hospitals, i couldn't even tell ya. if they didn't demand you had someone there, i wouldn't ask him to go. he'd go anyways, but i wouldn't feel bad about it. at least i get to sleep through most of it.

i will try to get on here as soon a i come out of my drug induced stupor... so, if that's even possible, if i sound like an ass... i'm probably strangling in my laptop cord... or blogging under the "residual" influence ... so don't pay any attention to that.

well i guess that's about all i have time for right now. i still need to go shave my ape-like legs , and brush my cotton-mouth before the doctor has to experience any of it. ugh. this is really not one of my favorite things. i am just hoping that THIS is where the problem is and they fix it, and i can get better. no more tests, no more feelin all crappy. just get it all over and done.

i shall talk to you peeps lataer..hope you all have good days.

too tired for a title

well well well. i have exactly ten minutes to eat or drink to my hearts content... but i don't want to do either. i did just finish a good sized cuppa coffee tho. i thought it would help my headache go away... but it did not. it tasted good though, and hopefully will prevent a headache in the morning, from caffeine deprivation. i am not allowed to eat or drink anything after midnight. it's 11:52. times a wastin. but anyhow. ya. i am not looking forward to the scope tomorrow. in fact i think i am a little more anxious about it than i had realized. because this passed couple days i just i don't know. i flat feel like shit. but more than the symptoms i've been having. i mean i can't sleep, i'm depressed. it doesn't matter how freakin exhausted i am during the day... my eyes will be on fire from being sooo damn tired, and i'll just lay in bed, and it's just impossible to even take a nap.

i went to run errands and pay bills etc today... OMG. i was so friggin ill i couldn't stand myself. i was at the bank, trying to take care of an error i had made, which was costing me fees... luckily they fixed it for me, because i brought my recent medical records with me... and they gave me a break because i have been sick etc. but while there... maybe thirty minutes or so... i literally could not sit upright in the chair. i laid my head on the desk, while the lady talked to someone on the phone for me! it was so embarrassing. but she was very understanding. and like i said..got everything fixed, and fees reversed for me.

then... i went to pay my cell phone bill. i had to do that in person too...because if i were to mail it, it would have been too late. and possibly shut off. and we can't have that, can we? no. so i go there. and oh Lord. what a mess. they have a new machine there, where you can pay with your credit or debit card... how cool right? no line, no waiting..instant pay. woo hoo. but... i am ME. remember? (oh crap, it's midnight...one quick swig of water!) ahhhhhh.
ok... anyways. the damn machine wouldn't accept my payment! because i am me. i tried it twice... just got paid friday... the money is in the bank... BUT ya. me. sooo.... i had to go stand in line. well... me and standing, just do not get along lately. i lasted maybe ten minutes. maybe. i was ready to pass out. i left the line.. told the guy, hey... i'm next, but i HAVE to sit down. there was a chair about ten or fifteen feet from where i shoulda been waiting. so anyhow... i know i looked bad. i was all leaned up against the wall, sittin in this chair...trying not to puke. or pass out. then this lady with two little kids...like under four... she asked if i was ok... i'm like ya, sure. i think it's lunch time. i didn't wanna go into my long ole story of med issues with a stranger. so a few minutes later.... she offered me raisins! how sweet is that? i never saw this woman before in my life. i did not accept her offer. but there just arent a lot of people like that anymore.
but anyhow... i ended up being there for what seemed an eternity. finally i get my turn in line..no ididnt lose my place, they obviously new i did not feel good. they apologized for the wait, took my money, and i got the hell out of there. i had one more bill i had to pay... next on my list was wally hell..... but next on my mind... was HELL NO! i paid the bill..it went quickly and smoothly...and i came home. i had to lay down. i struggled for three or four hours to get a nap...it didn't happen. BUT hubby and daughter went grocery shopping for me! how sa-weet is that?

i did get up and help put it away when they got back. but i did not feel like cooking...so i didn't. but around 7 or so..me and hubby...hubby and i.. went fishing. can you beleive that? feel like shit all day...then go out on the damn boat. oh well...i'm addicted, what can i say. we went for about 3 hours maybe. but i didn't fish but maybe an hour or hour and a half of it...i did for the first time ever beat hubby though. i got one..and lost one..he was half way out of the water and fell off .. ugh. so.. i "kinda" got two.. and hubby didn't get any. i do wish he would have.. but i have to admit... it was finally my turn. :))

so anyhow.. shit... i just went brain dead. can't remember what i said or what i was gonna say next. that's kinda bad. tired i guess.


anyways... i guess, i will just shut up. how's that?
i do want to say one more thing... ok two more things... rather than put it in the comment sections....

1.... THANKS to ALL of you for your thoughts and prayers, and words and support and all that. 2.... I passed the word to hubby that y'all requested an update tomorrow, if i was unable to get one out, for whatever reason. he shall take care of that...IF i can't. so do check in.

blue mornin blue day

"Out in the street its 6 am, another sleepless night
Three cups of coffee, but I cant clear my head from what went down last night
No we wont have our own little ways, but somehow we keep it together
You hear me talk, but you dont hear what I say, I guess it dont even matter"

(sung by Foreigner)

there ya go peeps... that would be the song of the day...perfect for a monday wouldn't ya say?

so anyhow... i don't have much to say right now. surprised? me neither.
it seems that blog land went to hell in a hand bag yesterday. for whatever reason. looks like monday came a day early for many of us. i hope that means we will ALL have better days today.

i'll be around later... i have lots to do to prepare to be laid up tomorrow. (upper GI test...and lotsa drugs. surely lotsa sleep to follow)

laterz

I'm Blogging And I can't Get Up!

ola my peeps...happy sunday to you....
i hope no one is suffering any huge hangovers, or other saturday night repercussions???
luckily i am not. i'm just sittin here cruisin the blog world. seein who's up, and who's up to what. not a lot goin on this morning. yesterday morning was quite the opposite. hopefully the chatter will pick up later on.

so anyhow.... i guess i shall post a little about my day yesterday. and maybe some plans i have for today. i didn't write much "real" stuff on here yesterday, because everyone seemed pretty up, and i didn't want to bring any negativity into that. i quite enjoyed seeing so many having good days for a change.

NOT that i had a particularly bad day... just a little off. for a while.

i woke up... well, that's a given right...and a blessing too, if ya wanna look at it that way :)
then i did my blog rounds, and chatting back and forth with people in the blog world.
after that... even though i had my ... i need to do this , this , and this, list .... i decided to go fish the creek. it has been quite a while since i have fished over there, and i wanted to see how things were going...and looking there. well, hubby woke up, and he was tired from the day before...he worked all day, then immediately from work headed off to fish a tournament...got home after 11 p.m - midnight. so he was pretty whooped, and didn;t want to go. but i went anyways.

well... i got there... i was "feeling" ok. not ill or hurting or anything. but i'll tell ya... i didn't fish for more than half an hour before i felt like total shit. but... being the fishing addict that i am.. and the creek really looked the best it has since the first flood weeks ago... i pushed myself to keep trying. i just kept feeling sicker, and weaker. but.. i decided... ok, i'll just sit down, and "drop shot" for a while. so i did. rarely when i fish from the bank...actually... i never sit down, bass fishing from the bank. i never have. ti'l yesterday. i sat for maybe another half hour or so, drop shotting...didn't catch anything that way...so i had to switch baits...which meant standing...again. well, i switched to a spinnerbait... i actually got a couple hits..then i got a fish on...but he fell off before i got him out. he was small so it didn't bother me. but even after knowing that the fish were still there, and starting to bite... i couldn't take it anymore. i wasn't even sure i would make it home. i really felt like i was going to faint. or puke. or both. so i gathered my stuff and came home. as soon as i walked in the door, hubby noticed i looked like hell. he thought i was hot. well i was hot..but it wasn't the heat that was bothering me, it wasn't all that hot out yet at that time. i just was SICK. he offered me a cold drink and some food...but i still had some iced tea , and i went straight to the tub. after a long cool bath, i felt somewhat better, but still just flat out EXHAUSTED. but not i need sleep exhausted ... it was just ill. so i laid in bed for HOURS. like from noon til 5. then of course i HAD to get up and feed the clan.
which by the way my daughter came up with a delicious recipe that we just had to try. yep... she has inherited the chef gene. but she can't cook yet. that's my fault tho. i think i mentioned on here....or somewhere once...that when i was nine and home alone i caught my robe sleeve on fire while cooking...so i have not yet taught her how to cook on the stove yet. she does make a mean pizza in the oven though...her own design .
so anyhow... ya... her recipe... was honey, lemon, basil, chicken.... even though she came up with the idea...and at first, offered to help me cook it...she backed out at the last minute, and i prepared it on my own. and damn if it didn't turn out delicious.
ok... then after dinner... ummm... i think i lasted only a short while in the living room with hubby before i was tired again...or still... and ended up back in my room. until... we got a wild hair to go to the movies. at like 9 o'clock. soooo unlike me. it was actually about 8 when we started talking about "doing something"... then the movies came up...the dollar theater of course. the earliest next movie was at 930. OMG. just the thought of a movie that late...yes i'm old i know... made me tired. but i drank a couple cups of coffee while daughter primped..and we went and saw "blades of glory".... if you haven't seen it...you should. i know it looks like the dumbest shit ever put on film...but it was funny. laugh out loud funny. we all three liked it a lot.
after that we came home...like where else would we go, right? and, yep, you guessed it...i went to bed...but i took my meds and got online for my last blog rounds of the day. OMG. i hope it wasn't a mistake... but so far, no blogs i've checked have made me look like a drunk ass...yet.
then...the next thing i remember, hubby was once again rescuing me from my laptop! i had fallen asleep while filling out a form that i know nothing about this morning. i hope i didn't buy anything!!!! LOL
Good Lord what a day.
i guess if i get anything in the mail... i'll let ya know. maybe i ordered a FAIRY!! :))

ok...that's my story and i'm stickin to it.
more later..