happy tuesday peoples-- it IS tuesday? ya. ok. dammit. i can't keep a thing straight anymore. ugh.in case you didn't notice-- last nights' post-- yep-- sleep blogging. sorry. gotta stop that. wth is wrong with me? i just try to keep up with people and seem to just make more of a mess of things. but hey.. i'm workin on that. guess ya couldn't tell by recent posts, but i am.
actually, maybe ya can't tell by anything.. but i am. i really am trying to change things, work on things, make things better. etc etc etc. i just don't know if i'm making any progress. i can only hope that i am.
i had a very interesting conversation with my soulkid yesterday. a few actually. i won't go into detail. but i will say--- i see progress in that kid that is truly amazing to me. WHEN-- or IF- i allow myself to realize just how new she is at this "gettin clean" thing. she's really just a baby. maybe two weeks clean? tops. wow. i remember my first two weeks. and booze is much easier to get than drugs-- or at least i would assume so. who even knows anymore. but i know the temptation is there for her. i know she wants to use. and i know it isn't easy for her to not.
but she isn't, and it's tough. for all of us. her mood swings can be insane at times. but once we realized it was withdrawl, and not some behavioral -- or mental thing.. it's getting easier.
and she is getting easier to talk to-- and with. i am not sayin that i don't think she won't ever use again. but i sure hope she doesn't. i think she has a really good start. she has a good support system. and it was wonderful to talk the way we did together yesterday. not once did she raise her voice to me. that was a first-- in literally months.
so anyways--
that's that on that.
and now--- i have to get the hell UP. i slept late -- again today. that's been hapennin a lot lately. well.. on days i sleep i should say. but i'm talkin sleepin til, 9, noon. that just never happens for me. i am totally exhausted. and like i said-- sleep bloggin lately too. and sleep posting-- of all things last night-- apparently hubby rescued me..again. but hey-- at least i wasn't smokin! :))
but as for now-- soulman is at his ortho appt-- and for all i know they could be puttin a pin in his hand--and here i am, sittin on my dead ass. i didn't go with him, cuz i have ten thousand things to do. things that i am waaaay behind on. such as bills, mailin stuff to people-- that SHOULD have been mailed weeks ago. i STILL have not got a haircut! i started bitchin about my hair at least 6 weeks ago-- just imagine how sick of it i am right now. ugh. but, what do i do? i just sit here and stare blankly at the wall, or the black tv screen.. and do nothing. holy crap. somebody send a cattle prod !
so, for those who care-- i am gonna clean myself up-- run my errands, pay my bills, mail my crap--or "yours" whichever... then come back and clean my friggin sty and do laundry, --- by then it will be time to get my child. then i have to bring her home and get myself to an appointment-- and after that-- the plan is to meet back up with the soul clan, and see a movie and have dinner later after hubby gets off work and picks up z child.
see? the day is full.. and i am still in my jammies. what a laze.
but-- my appointment today is with my shrink-- and i am gonna discuss this med crap-- cuz i really don't think it's workin for shit. i'm just as screwed up as i would be if i wasn't takin anything at all. but-- it's ok. i have a good doc, and she'll take care of me. let's just hope she don't lock me up---
;))
kidding.. i'm not that bad-- anymore. maybe a week ago. but not today.
anyhooooo i really gotta get off me arse and accomplish something. for me.. it seems that is what makes me feel the best. just doing, and seeing, and feeling... something.
i will see you folks later--
happy days to all of you--
bye
12 comments:
Doing what you're doing shows a huge improvement....you know that, don't you. Did they change some of your meds...take you off something? Whatever it was...don't go back on it again cause you have a lot more energy now than you did...even though you do feel the need for a nap. But now, you're decorating your home...and that's such a good thing for you....good for the soul! (pun intended). As for me....I need a frickin' maid! I don't have enough time in the day anymore....did they reduce the number of hours in a day? Yeah...yeah, that's it. Just like they're reducing the amount of cereal in the box but you pay the same price....I figure days must only have about 12 hours in them now. Well CRAP....no WONDER I can't find enough time to do all I need to do!!!
I'm glad to see that your'e getting out for a bit--even if it isn't something that would be fun things to do..
maybe you could get in some fishin?
Hope so for you!
btw, I think you're a great mom.
Just wanted to tell you that.
E~
Soul, you are a loving, caring, and supportive mother. No doubt about it. I'm glad Soul Kid is showing improvement. I know it must be beyond hard for one so young to deal with this, but she's strong and with her parents support and understanding she'll heal. Kids are stronger than we give them credit for being.
I wish I could say that I've accomplished one complete task in the past few days. I just seem to go from thing to thing and finish nothing. The contractor will be here around noon tomorrow to give me a final eval of the water problem caused by the clogged drain pipe running from the central unit.
I'm thinking of you and picturing happy days for you and yours.
Hey, tell me what that shrink says ok? I am glad that you are getting ok.
Happy Wednesday!!!
I'm so pleased to hear that Soulkid is doing well. She probably feels sad to see her loved ones feeling hurt and all. So with your love and support, she'll work harder to make you proud. That's so nice to know.
Yah, let us know what the shrink says. Meanwhile stay positive and keep blogging.
Dman thats a busy busy day! Meds ... geez I hope she can help with those and get em right for you. Sounds like soulkid is doing really good. I am happy for you.
You sound like your on the up swing of life. Good to read there is forward progress. Keep it up BABY!!!
You're giving Soulkid all the right support she needs.
Because of that, she will do well.
*hug*
So good to hear about soulkid. Every day that's good is a blessing. And her not raising her voice? Nice. I understand.
I could have sworn I left a comment here yesterday...dementia again I guess.
I know you were reluctant to spill your guts (pardon the expression but it seems to fit) about what has been going on but it seems as if it did you the world of good. I have to say too that it was some of the best writing I have read in a long time. It was raw and certainly made me swallow my tonsils a couple of times. It effected me quite profoundly actually.
I'm glad you and Soul kid are finding some common ground and finding your way back to each other. It WILL get better Soul...it really will. Until then, just lean on your friends because that's what we're here for.
Ditto that.
Where are you, you slorch?
BTW, love your office. Is that that room where the leather couches were?
A decorated space is a happy space :)
Did you figure out a way to make your video that was too long?
I am having the same problem with my pics. I may have to put them on snapfish.
did you see a movie?get a hair cut/ see the shrink? what'd they do with soulmans hand?
Update hawg!!
Love me
One of those things that you had to mail was the cards, wasn't it??? You are so freaking awesome... I hope you know that!!! I have a card that Griffin made for you... I'll try to get it scanned to send to you. I wish that you'd give me your address;)
Glad that soulkid is doing well. She has a great support system... she'll be just fine!!!
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