Saturday, August 30, 2008

the lazy souls mini update

howdy folks--
just here to say hello for now--
we just got back from fishin--
not much luck in that department today--i got one-- about a five otr six incher-- and hubby got two bass-- one smaller than mine-- and one iteeee biteee one-- and one tiny perch. he was tryin for the perch tho in real shallow water that he could see in, he was just playin with it, and caught it.

so anyhow-- that's the mornin out this way--

oh except that he also got a phone call from his mama while we were there--- seems she has been readin my blog!
OOPSY--
HI MOMMASON :))

apparently he needs to call her more often. she's been hearin things here-- that he should be tellin her. ie---- the seizure. hmmmm. that's kinda not a good way to hear about stuff like that.
or our upcoming trip to vegas--- nope-- even tho it was only recently confirmed-- she didn't know it was bein planned.

sorry mommason--
i didn't know -- that you didn't know these things.
hmmm.

i also didn't know you were readin my blog- :)
you should say hi sometimes-


so anyhow--- aside from that stuff-- even though i know better, and i know i should take some time to catch up with my blog friends-- i do believe that i will take advantage of this free time that i have, and actually go take a nap. haven't had that opportunity for a while. i know it hasn't been at all this passed week. before that, i'm not sure. but i am tired. and there's some dumb show on tv-- you all know how weekend tv is-- especially when there's a man in control of the clicker. ugh.

oh wait-- one MORE thing :)) before i go---

our talk over the fishing rods this morning?

what do y'all think about soulman havin a special column here? lol. yes for real. we could call it
"go ask Soulman"
it would be where you ask him "man questions" like when a man says he isn't thinkin about anything , what's he really thinkin about?:
and he would say "nothing"

i chose that question, cuz i actually asked him that once. and that's what he said. how freeing -- or boring-- would it be to literally not think of anything at all??? man. just for five minutes. pure heaven for me. that would be peace. dont ya think?
and they wonder why women have a harder time breaking addictions. there ya have it. women think too much. men -- well-- don't think at all , apparently. :)

ok.. i'm done male bashing.
but wouldn't that be funny? let's try it and see how it goes. and if you don't want to point out your own spouse-- you could just say why do men.. etc-- and not why does my man.. ya know?

but he did say-- he doesnt want to deal with "sensitive issues"-- like marital advice etc.
but general man questions are cool.

so i think it would be fun... we could pick his brain, and really see how a guy thinks--- or if they think. :))

he's not a dumb guy either-- he knows about politics and crap like that-- so there's a pretty broad range of stuff to talk about.

i'm kinda curious to see how it would go.

let's say-- if y'all are interested-- we'll have a go ask soulman day-- on .. Wednesday? or saturday? or both?

yall think about it, and let me know here.. so i can prepare him.. hahaha.

for now-- i'm gonnna go take a nap-- and then i will be back and run around blogtown.

happy satahday people-ettes-- and brad :)) --- and mommason lol





Friday, August 29, 2008

just a qwikee for now

ever feel like that?
like you're playin tug-o-war with your life, and priorities?
well, i do--- for like the last three months.
but, i'm in the lead now-- or at least i think i am.
so i guess i'm feelin a bit pit bully for the moment.
hopefully i can keep this feeling, and stay in the lead, and finish all my crap--
that way-- next week-- and from there on.. (snicker) will merely be maintenance-- and no longer catch-up.
cuz catch - up kicks my ass. it seems it just never happens... cuz ya have catch-up-- and maintenance, right on top of the other... and it's just HARD. and makes for some very very long and painful awful, and tiring days.

---- if ya didn't see it in the comments below-- last night-- i was answerin comments ... it was before 9 pm even..i think.. and i passed out online-- with a burning cig-- i woke up to hubby takin my picture !!! OMG-- how embarrassing. he was NONE too happy with me. i have been fallin asleep while smoking a lot lately--over the passed month or so--- and i already feel bad enough about that-- but he scolds me for it-- and i know that when im tired-- or especially in bed-- it is not a thing that i should be doing---- but i do it anyhow. so to wake up to him takin a damn picture to use as evidence to scold me with-- i felt like a child-- gettin cold busted doin somethin really bad wrong. i tried to accept my scolding-- but i think i got a little defensive--
anyhow-- forget the fear of laptop strangulation--- i really really gotta STOP -- once again-- takin the laptop to bed... lest i not only kill myself-- but the entire family this go round.
blogging, catchin up with my peeps etc.. is just gonna have to wait-- til i am caught up with my life-- it isn't gonna take much longer.
it really does look like the end of the weekend that i will be caught up enough to have some kind of normal routine or schedule. PHEW-- i can't wait for that !


so anyhow--- i have time to hit one or two pages-- then i have to go run a few errands-- but then i will return.. and i will flutter between chores and blogs today-- and i may even steal a nap today--- or not.
we will see.

but i did get a whole lot done yesterday-- and damn near killed myself doin it. but it is finally done. i put in about a twelve hour day--if not 14-- and it's been like that ALL friggin week. i can't wait to be done. and stay ahead. if that's possible. tell me it's possible.


happy friday everyone!!!!

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

i'm a loser


after i posted earlier-- we went out again, shopped for the kid some school stuff, and went to eat, -- we just home like twenty or thirty minutes ago-- now i am whooped -- and goin to bed----

i really am sorry - but i don't think i'll be doin any cruisin 'round the blog town tonight.

i will tomorrow though--
no more promises from me-- i mean well.. i do-- but things just don't seem to go as planned lately--
so-- i will see you as soon as i get there--

goo'night peoples--

does anybody really know what time it is

hmmm.. i feel like i may have done a post with that title before-- but -- oh well.. i don't have time to change it -- or find out , now.

anyhow---

i know-- it's not 11:56 yet-- but it's close enough. besides-- i didn't have enough "time" to waste today spending two hours on google looking for the "perfect" picture for this post.

so we're stuck with that that one.


anyhow-- i was just working on my banks and budget and that kinda crap-- when i noticed the clock... SOAB... hours have passed since i started that stuff. where in the hell does the time go?? really? when i want the time to go slow-- like when i have a lot to do, and need time... the day flies by like some kinda hummingbird on speed or somethin---

and when i have nuthin to do and am bored as hell, and want the day to just be done with--- it rolls by like a friggin dead ass slug.

this last few days that i have been trying to get everything finished and get caught up-- get ready for my nephew to come, and for us to go out of town--- i seem to be accomplishing nothin. maybe one or two things on my list for the day-- and not even a nap- 2 and a half days just gone--- poof! -
ugh.
almost noon now-- 11:54... all i have done is balance my checkbook.. and handle a couple phone calls.. and blog in my comment box (below) :)) which i dont mind. oh and caught jamie for a minute-- which, again.. i don't mind that either. and now i'm posting.. and i don't mind that either..

but what i do mind?
i have soooo much to do-- and i just know it isn't gonna get done----
i don't know how much will get done.
i do know i need to get the hell UP-- and get started tho-- and i aint even dressed... well.. i am clothed-- but not in a way that i can be seen outside. so-- i best be gettin presentable, and hit the the road. i'm down to three hours-- to accomplish about six hours of "work".

somebody come help me.... i mean "visit".. ya , that's it-- come visit me. :))))))))))


i will catch up with y'all later---

i can't promise i'll make it to everyones page today (tonight) but i will get to as many as i can.. and hit the rest in z mo'ning...

just remember "the squeaky wheel gets the grease"
:))
jaimeeeee
and smocha
and mary
lol

i'll do my best to get get to everybody tho---

oh yes-- and to those who don't know--
smocha mentiioned a "cankle"
LOL
below-- is a photo of a cankle
enjoy-




obviously- it is when your
calf-meets your ankle
bwahahahahahahahaha

(did i mention i have a couple mini-posts in my box below?
well, i do)

happy humpday!!

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

random babbling from a tired soul

yes peeps-- i know i'm lally-gaggin..
who the hell came up with that word anyhow?
or shenanigans, for that matter?
kids today prolly think anybody who uses either of them oughtta be locked up!
perhaps that is why i like to use them :))
no, not to be locked up-- just for the reaction from my kid-- or her friends.. i think it's fun!

anyhow--
seems i was wrong, in thinkin that my life would slow down and get more chill when school started--very wrong.

two or three weeks before , and now-- only the second day into school... it seems i'm runnin around like a chicken with my head cut off. (nope-- i have never really seen that-- have you?)
but it has been a crazy, hurried , not enough time - month or so. it's just keelin me.

i'm hopin to be caught up on everything soon.
it may be a couple days-- but hopefully not much more than that.

i know i've said it a few times--- but this has really been a rough summer. not the entire summer... but on average? yep-- pret-teeeee bad overall. in more ways than one.
lots of areas to work on in getting a lot of situations back how they need to be. but-- it didn't get this way overnight-- i don't expect it will change overnight either. wish it would though.
but don't we all?

so--- for starters--- i think we will begin with going in debt-- which seems to be one of my main concerns lately. but isn't it always??? why don't i just accept the fact that the whole world has some type of debt-- and just deal with it? ugh.
so anyhow-- that's step one--

my nephew.. is going to come out and stay with my child for a few days-- so we can go to vegas , and meet with jamie and her family out there . woo hoo !!!

i was worried about soulkid not having a place to stay-- or having to send her to arkansas to my sis-- but missing school this early in the year, is just not an option. so yippee-- we get to go !!

i bought his plane ticket last night online-- you won't believe how much it cost. go ahead-- take a wild guess---- if i was smart-- but i'm not-- i would have said-- oh hell no-- we won't go... but i didn't do that. i bought it anyhow. it'll be ok. long story -- but it'll work out in the end-- anyhow
his ticket costed--- $ 333. (and some change) ---

well-- jamie seems to think 333 is my -- or A -- lucky number-- since it seems to come up so often... so-- i'm pretty curious as to how much mine and soulmans tix are gonna cost-- last time i looked they were 3-somethin... but not 333.

so- if they end up 333--or we end up in room 333 or flight 333 or some other weird thing--- you know i'll be bettin on 3's the whole time i'm there !!!

ok.... let's move on, shall we?

aside from school, and travel stuff...
hmmm...
mainly just tryin to get caught up around the house..and other things that i've let slide for the passed couple months. it's a slow go-- but it'll get done-- sooner or later. we have decided to devote labor day weekend to ALL of us workin on the house. from cleaning up-- to the minor fixer upper stuff.
and -- in a couple months it will be cool enough to have my yard sale, so we'll have to get started on sortin through stuff. and by doing that-- we hope to be able to get rid of our storage bin-where we park the boat. cuz without the garage full of crap--it should hold the boat. ahhh-- i hope so.

well.. i think i just realized that this is a pretty boring post.
that , or i'm just tired--- i am dozin off in my chair. ugh. so much for finishing todays "list" -- looks like nap time! and i don't have to feel guilty about it today-- cuz no one will know about it LOL-- well.. cept y'all. :))-- and i don't even have to tell you about all of em. hahahah.
but i usually do. y'all don't think i'm ignorin you if i take a nap tho-- these two do. well, and smocha :))

so anyhow--- that's my day-- or month-- so far.
i'll be back.


ps-- ever live with a dog that had food poisoning?
it is NO fun at ALL.
yes , i speak of eevee.
OMG. bad chicken.. including bones, from the trash... equals two days of -- well... you name it-- we got it.
and yep-- she will be boarded when my nephew is here. she is too unpredictable for anyone to be left alone with.
but sushi will stay-and the cats will. they'll be easy to love.

so-- again.. i'm outta heah-

Sunday, August 24, 2008

sometimes it just feels good to CUSS



don't you agree?

i don't know if i ever said that before- or even realized it til just a minute ago. but i do believe that it's a true statement. at least for me. her'e the scenario:
soulman: playin x-box 360 live (call of duty 4) .....
me: online- i'm wearing headphones-- but nothing is playing... dunno why.

so-- i hear him say "Fuck"

i say-- just for the hell of it-- "fuck"

soulman: chuckle
me: fuck..hee hee
him: what?
me: fuck!.. ya know? sometimes , it just feels good to cuss. dontchya think?
him: ya, i guess so. G-- dammit!
me: fuck.
us: haha
him: i think,, "you bee-itch", is my favorite."
me: we're so stupid..
us-- back to what we're doin...

me: posting :))

y'all think i'm crazy don't you?

well, i just may be, but i don't really care. well, sometimes i don't. the only time i care is when i'm really worried about it. and right now-- i'm not. :))

so, anyhow-- what do you think? about cussin i mean. dontchya just think it feels good-- sometimes? not like arguing or anything...or in front of anyone.. i mean just say somethin-- as a release.
like ... "*sigh* awwww fuck"
it's almost like takin a shot of tequila sometimes. too bad it doesn't last as long.

anyways---
lemme get my bearings here. like i had any to begin with.
it's not even noon, i slept -- are you ready-- til 8 this morning. i know. crazy huh?
and dammit-- i just lost my total train of thought. i hate it when that happens.


which reminds me--
is a train wreck--
much like my life lately.

ANYWAYS---(oops-caps)
so, - ya, i slept more last night than i have in any one night-- in literally months. months---and-- months. as in several months. i think i may have slept from before 6 or 7 pm to like 8 am. i was amazed-- and soulman, said he was actual almost scared. (this morning when he got up).
i guess the tournament yesterday just wore me the hell out. when i woke up this morning i felt like i had been hit by a train. maybe two trains. TWICE. omg-- i was in some terrible pain. my neck, back, and legs. man. in fact- i wasn't sure i'd make it out of bed-- and when i did-- i didn't think i'd make it out of my chair for coffee-- then-- when i got up for the coffee-- i had to wonder-- would i ever get back up?
that's when i took the pain med of all pain meds. good stuff-- but it renders me useless-- and blind. stoned i suppose. but it's not like a fun stoned-- more like a paralyzed stoned. i don't like it. i wish i did... but as y'all know--
"can't have nuthin" :))

and now-- a couple hours-- ish later-- feeling only a hair better-- as in not so blind-- and able to walk-- somewhat-- and see better.. i think i need to take a pain pill. looks like i'll be "stoned" -- or in y'alls terms-- "useless".. all damn day.


and on a day that i have much to do.
one of which is my favoritist of all-- the damn mall. ERG!!!
and you know, i'm puttin that off as log as possible-- i think the mall closes at like 630--- i'll be sure to get there about 5 or 530. i don't want to go at all. i begged that kid to be done with this school crap weeks ago. nooooo. she had to get all her summer playin out of the way first. so now i get the crunch put on ME, at the last minute-- and of course on a day i feel like crap.
you know you wanna be me.

so-- anyhow-- i think i mentioned the tournament-- but never got anywhere with that-- aside from complaining.
the rest of it??
minus the gory details of soulman and i arguing for at least a third of it. cuz we just seem to do that. he can't handle the pressure or competitiveness--- or something-- but it really does seem we argue every damn time we fish a tourney--- not every time we fish-- only in tournaments. and yesterday-- ugh. i told him--"i am never fishin another tournament with YOU ever again!"
(but-- that's all changed now-- he has ONE more chance. we argue-- tourneys are OUT - for us)

so anyhow--
did we win? nope.
he got two keepers-- the only wo weighables we had. almost five pounds worth-- no where in the running in the top five.
BUT-- his friend that he has been fishing tourneys with this passed season with--jim-- and his partner, yesterday-- did win first place-- with over fifteen pounds-- they won 3500.00 !!! saweeeeeeet !!!! i'm glad they won. if not us, at least it was someone we know, right.

all this time-- 3 weeks or so- we thought ALL proceeds went to the fam.. but it was -- after prize and raffle ticket money-- the family got half the proceeds-- which -- in my math-- if they paid out five places-- and first paid 3500.00-- even half of what was left was surely a nice chunka change-- wouldn't ya say?? and-- i think i only heard of one fish dyin-- before they left to release them. they fished four lakes-- not sure how many boats-- i know last i heard was 30-- but i think it had to have been more by the end. but anyhow-- four area lakes-- and all the fish got released back into "our lake"... bwa hahahahaha.... the big bass was almost 8 lbs, i think.. i hope i catch him some day :))

Friday, August 22, 2008

i just can't get it together-

but have i ever?

man-o-man-
what a mess i have got myself into around here.
seems all i do lately is make lists, only to watch them grow--and grow some more.
but , today is the day, that i must actually take some action.
i have been supposed to pay bills for the passed three days-- have i ? ummmmm no.
that doesn't matter much-- seein as today is payday. i did wanna have crap ready to mail though-- and i don't.
i also wanted to kow if an, how much money i would have available--if any-- to set aside- for the vegas trip--- do i even have the budget written out yet? umm.. no.
chores? what's that? i did manage to get a pot roast cooked in the crock-pot yesterday-- only to end up eating at sonic. :P
and i did manage to wash my dishes-- except for the ones that make the kitchen look like a bomb went off-- yes-- the big crap-- pots, pans, tea pitchers, etc. the crap i have to wash by hand. i need to do that today.
did i fix my credit card mess yet? uhhhh... not only no, but hell no. and why not? cuz i just can't face crap like that. i reckon that's the best excuse i can come up with. but i really need to do that today. that's almost 40.00 i could put towards my trip--- if it's not too late to get reversed-- which is most likely the answer i will get at this point--- umm, you dumb lady- why didn't you come in last month to fix this-- now you're just screwed. lovely.

see , the crap just piles up on me-- and why? i seem to be busy all the time-- but i must just fluter around from thing to thing-- cuz everything is either only partially done-- or never started. wth?

i have been so tired lately tho- it's just not funny. like now- it's not even 9:30 in the morning- and i'm ready to go back to bed-- and i just might do that. i was tired the entire day yesterday but never did get a chance for my desperately needed nap. it was just one thing after another. and not much of it was any good. just stuff that would piss me off. but i handled it ok. better than i've handled much else lately. so that's a plus i spose.

oh-- ya wanna know what's pissin me off lately? i'll tell ya anyhow--
we moved into this house last december-- almost a year ago-- and we are STILL gettin mail for the owners of this place who lived here before us! even though TWO months ago i sent them three change of address cards-- along with their mail that time--- less mail comes for them.. but it still comes. and me being the type of person i am.. i still pay 5 bucks a month to mail it back to them.
BUT-- as if that isn't irritating enough--- for some damn reason-- i am now-- for the passed two or three months--- also getting someone elses mail-- at my damn PO BOX!!! WTF???
at first that was just junk mail-- that i could toss in the trash... flyers and crap-- until a month or so ago-- NOW-- i get crap from bankruptcy lawyers to these people ! and "ME being the type of person i am"...... i had to track them down by calling information-- and begin to forward THEIR mail TOO. OMG.
you think that's bad?
how bout THIS one-- somehow--- i am now also getting mail for my friggin BROTHER IN LAW !!!
talk about soul goin postal--- this is a little too literal. :))
do people NOT know how to fill out COA cards??? WHY do they send their mail to ME??
and not only my home... but my PO BOX TOO???
how does shit like this become MY responsibility????
and WHY does it have to be illegal if i decide to get pissed and just throw the shit in the trash??? i can't just do that. so wtf DO i do???
don't i have enough crap of my own to neglect??? now i have a stack of mail that isn't even mine to sort thru and deal with.
ERG !
and people wonder why i fall behind, or get complacent. hmmmm. well there's part of it. even people i don't know take advantage of me. i send em their damn lawyer mail one time, and now i become their free postal service????

hmmm... sorry for the rant-- lost my head for a minute-- but anyhow-- what would YOU do in that situation??? besides "go postal".

ok-- inhale---- exhale---- that's mo bettah----
where was i?

ahhh yes.. i was "supposed" to be payin bills. but the urge to talk to y'all overwhelmed me. :))

anyhow---- you're sick of hearin this... but school starts on MONDAY!!!!! and that makes me rather happy. that's actually something i hadn't totally prepared for. i keep saying how anxious i am for the soulkid to be back in school--- and especially this year to be riding the bus--- :)) -- hahahaha-- yes-- miss i'm so mature, i know everything-- i can do it myself-- bwa hahahhaha--- well, ok "miss all grown up"--- there's the the bus stop--- have at it !!! (up till last year---and only cuz we moved right across the street from school-- i drove her all her life).
she's gonna realize just how good she HAD it. the bus stop is like half a mile away . LOL. ROFLMAO !
i knew she'd appreciate me one day. of course, she'll hate me first--- but that's ok.

oh-- sorry-- wrong turn... what i was gonna say-----
i had been readying myself for the kids new schedule-- but hadn't really thought much about my own. i thought -- woo hoo-- my own schedule--- my own "routine".. i'll have my own LIFE back!
then i thought--- well hell..... what does THAT mean?????
i don't have a LIFE. haha.
so? WHAT does it mean folks? WTH am i gonna do with myself? guess i better get started on "a list". LOL

ok.. i reckon i better get back to my bills and stuff.

tomorrow is the benefit/memorial fishing tournament for soulmans friend. apparently the participation isn't lookin very good at this point. maybe 15 boats-- at 150 a boat. a lot more were expected. even his wife entered. i didn't know she even fished. apparently they fished a lot together. that kinda makes me sad. it makes me think of me fishing under these circumstances "without" soulman. ya know. it would be so weird. i never met her, but i will see her out there since she is fishin the same lake we are (there are four participating lakes)-- and i just wonder how she will be feeling. i'm sure it will be her first time out since he died. and on his boat-- etc. i don't know-- i'm just rambling, but it all just seems -- maybe a little too close to home maybe.
i've always thought to myself, "if somethin happened to soulman i'd sell the boat--or give it to his brother or one of my nephews".
so to see her fishing-- in his honor-- on it--
oh just slap me and shut me up---

i'll see you peeps latah--
i got stuff to be doin---
happy weekends to all of you-


OH ONE MORE THING:




go check this out--
@ "Mary Says"
and read her blog--
or enter to win that cool stuff :))

Thursday, August 21, 2008

yep-- it's true :))

i've only been tryin to get this post up for maybe two or three hours---
obviously-- it's a beatiful day in the neighborhood here this morning. (not)

but--- coming soon to a blog near you--- will be another soul/jamie post--or posts. this time -- from none other than sin city.
and trust me.. i'm ready to sin-- a little-- within reason. :))

so- yes, the soulman and i -
will be on our way in a few short ( i hope ) weeks-



to meet with simonsays/jamie--
and her hubby and family-



for, what i hope to be a few soulkid-less days-
in las vegas !



i sooo hope it happens-
we have talked about this for several months-
but with her job stuff, and moving,
and on my end-- money crap -
and soulkid crap-
and medical crap-
and crap upon crap upon crap-
we just weren't sure if or when it would really happen.


but-
yesterday morning, she confirmed her end of it-
that she had already dumped a small fortune on their reservations-

so now-- it's my turn.
:))
that's where i now have to scramble.

because, for starters, i have totally screwed us financially;
well-- not alone- but the damage is done.

which leaves us , literally starting from zero dollars to get
quite a large chunk of change built up to be able to go.
i think we can manage to save a bit-- i hope it will be enough.

and secondly--
(if that's even a word)

someone we all know and want to spank-
yes-- the soulkid :))
has decided to find herself in some bad situations
over the summer-

whick kinda leaves us in a bind of who we can trust to leave her with
for a few days when we go-

WTF- is with the sudden underlining???
dammit.

sooooooo
if all works the way we want it to--
we will have the visit of all visits-
because the few that she and i have had so far-
have been very short.
by the time we recover from the drive-
it's time to go again.
this time we will have three full days-
so it better happen or i will be one bitter old haggy soul




and with that---
i'm off to see my head shrinker---

maybe if i'm lucky-
she might give me happy pills :))


have happy days today-
i'm gonna try
even if it's illegal- immoral- or insane-
ok-- i doubt i even know how to do any of that stuff-
but maybe i'll take a nap and dream i do.
:))

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

wednesday wandering

i really did --- so, let's start with THIS - it's the next closest song to suit me since-- "look what the cat dragged in : by Poison - in the 80's lol --




as far as anything else -- for now???
hmmmm...
i'll have to think for a few...

maybe after i get some new coffee-- ahhh, that's mo bettah--



but, apparently, i still got nuthin new--

except one thing--
or two-- if i decide to post the second--

but first--

last night--
or evening i should say, before soulman got home from work...
eevee,

(age 7 ish)

decided to pee a friggin LAKE in my kitchen....
AND
POOP in my office!

of course i cleaned it up--
and i wasn't very happy about it either.
but i guess it was my own fault, cuz i did fall asleep, so i wasn't up to put her out.
so, when soulman gets home, we're sittin on the couch, and i was telling him about
what eevee had done, while at the same time, trying to haul my stiff ass out of my chair,
and hobble off to the other room....


as im trying to limber up a little - he says
"you gotta remember , she's gettin old too."
"oh, gee, thanks a lot dear. --- TOO?"
niiiiice.
he had a real hard time gettin out of that one.
the best he could come up with was,
"not YOU, i meant Midnight, she's an old lady like Midnight."
suuuuuure--- Midnight was TWICE her age."

(age 14-ish)

there was no saving himself.
i know as he watched me limp off to the other room,
he saw me as OLD, and that was a Freudian slip-
if i've ever heard one.

at least he TRIED to cover it up.
i got a good laugh out of makin him feel bad for it--
but it sure did NOTHIN for my ego.




and so with that--
and almost and hour of screwin around on google-
(and other pages- cuz i'm ADD like that :))
i spose i shall go for now-

happy humpday - i think - to y'all
yep- it is.
geesh-- one of these days my sleep pattern will be normal again.. i hope-
and i will keep my days straight.
but the way it is-- i just don't know anything right now.

oh-- but here is a rare photo of SPOT -
the stealth cat-
she's always hiding somewhere.
sometimes at night if i'm in my room alone she will come
and lay with me and let me pet her,
but too many people- or animals upset her-
so she spends her life in hiding-
or attacking eevee.
(anybody want her? :))


so anyhow-- y'all have great days today
if i get my work done, and it doesn't rain all day-
i just may go fish a while-
but i bet they won't bite after two or three days of rain.
so i don't know.

see? i don't know nuthin.

cept-
there is only 4 and a wake - up til school starts !!!!

woo hoo !!!!!

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

oh Lord i need a break !

i just don't know where the time goes.
or how i can be so busy all the damn time,
yet accomplish what seems to be nothing.
it makes me feel..
well...
kinda like
THIS :



it's 10:30 a.m now -
and aside from gettin up for what i thought was the day-
at 2:45 ish -
with major computer issue - that somehow i managed to figure out -
yes, i was amazed too.
but that took about an hour -- and it made me rather bitchy.
so i answered a few emails, and had my smoke-n-choke
and chatted for quite a while online.
but--- by 6 ish-- guess where i found myself?

right there,
and even though, i got a reminder phone call...
i managed to sleep til
frigin 10 oclock !
when we have an 11 oclock appointment.
ya just gotta love it.

so about the dr yesterday??
just as i thought--
i learned absolutely nuthin.
at all.
he raised the topamax i already take.
which is an anti-seizure- but i take it for moods.
hmmm.
i'm not sure of it's effectiveness on either, to be honest-
cuz i'm one moody bitch-- with somekind of seizure disorder-
peachy!

but hey--
it makes me a great role model !

gotta go--
you know how i love the traffic here.
:(

Sunday, August 17, 2008

the sound of sports and x-box 360 make me suicidal :))


howdy folks!
yes , i am late-- again-- as usual.
ugh!
"just love me "


i slept late - again.
which was good actually.
i think i actually slept all night thru--
for once.
well except waking up at like 1230-
can't remember why-
a noise?
but i went right back to sleep-
a miracle.
so anyhow -

THIS ---
is exactly what i saw looking back at me
when i looked in the mirror this morning-
sad, isn't it??
my first thought?
kurt cobain -resurrected -
ugh.
i really am the epitome of GRUNGE lately.
pitiful.
tsk , tsk, tsk.




i suppose that along with my lack of personal hygiene,
also comes a lack of thought, focus, and responsibility.
also leading to
THIS-


which i know you all love.
i try though.
but i do apologize for my poor writing skillz
well-- the entire summer.
i know it has sucked
thru and thru.
it has to get better soon-
cuz we all know
it just can't get much worse.
can it??




i came across this pic this morning-
during my three hour, scour, of google images.
really-- 3 hours.
what a laze.
anyhow, not only did i find it kinda funny in itself.
it was just kinda tempting to me-
like if it were in front of me-
i'd just have to see HOW sharp can a rusty sign actually BE ??
i'm just too crazy sometimes.
is that bad?
:))
be honest-i can take it.

oh-- speakin of crazy - and bad-
i am really kinda on the edge here lately-
meaning that everything just gets to me.
everything from not enough alone time-
to the thought of losing my drivers license again- for the full six months-this time-
to the sound of sports-and the fuckin announcers on tv--
which is all that is ever on tv lately-
well, that or friggin x-bx 360 live--
guns, bombs, and soulman.. sayin --well anything that you'd never think he would say-
it all ---and so much more makes me wanna just yank my hair out!!!!






oh shit----
i have been kinda stealthy about the latest medical "thing"
haven't i?
well.. now you know.
yup- a few weeks ago- when soulman was at lake amistad-
i had a seizure- either the night he left- or the night after- not sure which.
i was asleep when it happened.
i wouldn't have even known it happened,
except that my lip and tongue, were totally f'd up.
so ya, anyhow-
i have not been drivin hardly at all-
we've been in training for me to not have a license.
and it does suck
i have no idea yet why i would have a second seizure-
not anymore than i know about havin the first one.
(which i thought was a medicine reaction-which i guess is now, not the case)
now i'm thinkin, my brother was epileptic- and this is possibly,
a late onset of epilepsy????-- no friggin clue- but my appt with the neuro is tomorrow--- finally, and if i learn anything new-- i will fill you in.

soooo- movin on---

as i was googlin pix, i also did a little research on somethin
and i'll tell ya-
big medical terminology-
well, it can make ya go blind.
at least it did me-
that, and more-
i had to give up on it for a while
and i came here-
to talk to y'all
:))


i decided i would talk a little about-
yep--
my dishes :))
i know you love it when i do-

guess what i found about dishes?
a few that i thought y'all would like-

THIS was my faveorite-
and y'all know why-



HAHA-- memorieeeees--



and then there's THIS one-





THEN, of course i would have to find one
that would make me feel bad for bitchin all the time-
but it is true-
still, i will continue to bich, and we all know it-


so anyhow --
i reaqlly have little else to say right now-
wish i had a great story to tell-
like THIS?
but, well, i don't.
i'm not that cool .
i wish i was.
i wanna be as cool as my dog thinks i am.
or at least as cool as
BATMAN.
can we still pretend?

can me and Portia still be Batman and Robin??


we really are gonna meet someday-
maybe at the REAL Batcave!
if we can find it--
and i'm SURE we will do somethin totally CRAZY when we do!
we just don't know what it is yet
i'm sure we'll tell ya though
:))



Saturday, August 16, 2008

a little of this--and none of that ---

i am childless today--
and have been very busy aaaalll morning--
and hubby worked a few hours but is off now--
and we are gonna quit for the day---
and hit the lake...
it's been hell week here for the both of us-- and we are just done----
i will eventually have to wash my damn dishes of course-- that WERE done-- but oddly enough, appeared from nowhere, after soulkid "cleaned her room. UGH.
i do believe the time has come for HER TO WASH THE F"N DISHES.
if only i could get beyond my dirty dish phobia. OMG. i just cannot. i don't trust her dish washin skillz. i have seen them before-- greasy, food filled glasses, and plates-- eeewweeee. i can't like it !!!

so anyhow-- yep-- so far i have fixed some bank crap-- got HALF my overdraft fee back-- and they said it won't mess up my credit or bank stuff.. PHEW.. obvious mistake and fixed the next day-- so that's a relief.

still cant bring myself to call the credit card peeps... why can i not face my life??

i guess i should say "responsibilities " here-- cuz when i said "life" to soulman.. he got upset-- and said "your life isn't that bad"... well, ummm, skuuuuze the hell outta ME.
better start analyzing my choice of words... before i speak -- ya think?

so oooo--- what i was gonna say-- before i bagan the war of babble-on... was-- for it to be only noon.. i have actually accomplished quite a bit-- so i do believe i am allowed to quit for the day--- and go catch me some fishies---


OH HEY !!!

SIDE NOTE:

do yall remember me talkin about soulmans' friend gettin killed a couple weeks ago-- in the motorcycle crash???
well, i know it's short notice, and i really meant to put this up here like a week ago-- but well, you know- and i didn't... but here it is-- and i know none of y'all are rich by any means.. but there will be a memorial fishing tournament in this guys honor, and proceeds will go to his family. he left behind a son, fighting in Iraq, a daughter, soulkids age, and a five month old baby. oh, and of course a wife.

soulman and i are going to fish it .. of course-- the day of the tournament is august 23rd.. and is sponsored by Fun - N - Sun / Sporting Center / boat and tackle sales.

which is the store he was hit in front of. and also where he had several friends and would hang out and talk, etc, and buy tackle, etc.

so anyhow-- i am hoping that if anybody wants to make a donation - in any amount-- even 10-20.00 will help.

soulman has paypal.. or if you would rather-- you could send it directly to Fun-N-Sun .. who will be the people who will give the cash directly to the family.
of course soulman will too.
he knew these people.

so anyways if you want or need more info
ask any questions here
soulmange @yahoo.com

ok.. soulman is back with the boat-- and i gotta go--
i shall return.. hopefully with a big ole fish pic!
happy satahday

Friday, August 15, 2008

And the thunder rolls---




Welp—here I am… told ya I wouldn’t stay gone too long. Not that I have been missed too terribly, but there’s been a few to check on me here and there. So those are who I am writin for. Well, them and me. I do enjoy writing. I wrote way back when, even when no one read here. I just write to write, and clear my head sometimes.

In fact, those are the times my better writing seems to enter these pages. When I don’t feel pressured or censored—or protective, or judged. Ya know. I do know ya know—at least some of you do—cuz you’ve told me. It’s too bad we end up feeling that way here—because rarely do we begin our blogs that way—but often we do end them that way. Less open, less “honest”, not as in lying (less honest) just less information, “less honest”, ya know. Yep, thought so.

Well anyhow.

I have been struggling a bit with the thought of stopping the blog thing. But I won’t do that. I have too many people that I just really care about here. And just as many who return that to me. This reading and writing and yalls worlds and even finding new people to read and share with… have simply become a big part of my daily life over this past couple of years. I can’t just walk away from that.

I have walked away from too much in my life as it is. And that is just a part of me that I want to change. Actually, I think I have already changed it. as I have seen myself try to leave this blog—your blogs—even my family a time or two this passed couple years--- I just can’t do it. I have learned what is important to me through y’all… with y’all.. and I can’t change what I’ve learned. What a terrible waste of love and openness that would be. Don’t you think?

Not just for me, but any of us. I really think we are a family of sorts here… so many of us all seem to “know the same people”.. and support each other.. it seems almost strange to me, that it worked out that way. But it also seems that it happened for a reason. It seems it happened that way for reasons we may never know too. Reasons that some have age similarities… religious similarities, childhood similarities, medical similarities, etc etc etc.. or even a conglomeration of several. Some have lost children, some have lost spouses, some have been abused, or have mental illnesses, or physical ailments, that no one else would understand—if not for certain people in “our group”.

For me—I get—and surely hope—I give—to each of you what you get and give to me.. (did that come out right???)

Before I began blogging, I was a shell of who I am today—and by no means is that perfect—LOL—y’all know that. But I sure have come a long way from where I was in the beginning.

it’s been a really rough few months for me here—and y’all know that—most of you do—but I have kept a lot of it to myself—or at least very few others—like one or two. Maybe one day I’ll get brave and just spill it.

someone told me recently—without me even goin into detail—that they “kinda thought ya might be”

after my answer to how have you been lately“.. was “oh, I’m in hell.”

So—maybe it’s almost time to dump it. who knows.

I do know I need more details before I can do that. A week or so. I am not the judge and jury here. I need a professional to make the decisions, when that happens, and I know what the dealio and plan of action is—if I don’t crack up over it—maybe if I do—I’ll let ya know more about it then.

Ok—enough of that ---




About the thunder?? Wanna know where that came from?

Eevee---- woke me up—us--- in a panick at 3 a.m. for the thunderstorm. I went ahead and got up with her. I wasn’t all the way asleep anyhow. Just kinda layin there listening to the storm and her nails on the floor—click-click-click--- ugh.

Poor eevee.

I wonder why she is so scared of thunder. Even rain on the window. It’s upsetting to me. I try to get her to get in bed with us—she wants to-and tries—but her back feet slip on the rugs—or the rugs slip—whichever—and then THAT scares her—so she’s just a ball of crybaby nerves, and won’t get on the bed even tho she wants to. So I usually just get up, and she’ll calm down.

Some.

But even tho she wants to pee—she refuses to go out and face the monster that is thunder.

The dog has issues.

But she’s a good girl.

Cept when she tries to kill sushi.

And I aint even mentionin my cats.

Ugh. The cats—I think I have soulkid “almost “ convinced that those cats are worthless little shittin eatin , scratchhin machines that only destroy and disrupt the entire home. But we still have the dilemma of nowhere to send them. L(

And that puts us in a bind, and worries us. They are the devils spawn ya know. The cats are.

Anyhow

HAPPY FRIDAY to all---

And to all a good

“SOMETHIN you like”

BYEEEEEEEEEEEE

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

sorry folks--

i'm thinkin i need a couple days off --




it's just one -a - those -kinda weeks




i'd rather not spread the negativity-
or blab about the piling up of -
well, shit.

so - i'll just lay low for a little while.

i'll be back tho.
y'all know i never stay away long.




i'm just lacking in the blog -spirit.
maybe when i catch up with myself
i'll be more focussed .

i will tell ya one thing that happened recently-
like two nights ago-
the dogs went at it again-
this time-
sushi managed to kick eevee's ass !
it was sort of even - sushi bled like a stuck pig- and lost a bit of EAR !
but - eevee is still limping, and we can't check the wound below her arm-
lest she take our hands off.
trust me, she's tried.
this go round-- was initiated by---
none other than SPOT- the freakin cat.
ugh.
vet bill?
no vet bill?
trying to decide.
one more day of limping--
she will have to go to the dog-tor.
dammit !


so--
do you want more of this?

or THIS ???

yep--
i thought so--

see ya soon

Monday, August 11, 2008

too damn early again- what gives?


i just cannot sleep anymore. what the hell?

and would someone tell me why i am now, not only underlined, but blue, as well?

hmmm... must just be me, cuz looky here, now it's neither, now it's just natural boring type.

hmmmmmm.

ssssooooo. without further ado, i bring you -

back by popular demand-

"The cleaning fairies"



now, Ive heard it both ways-
1- you play before you pay-
2- and also, that
that you play hard to win big.


i've heard that you scrub the floor right the first time
or b- you eat the soap the next




i've learned the more good stuff you get for him
- the faster he unloads for you


i've also heard that the more praise he gets from you-
the more he does, without being asked of you
:))


and too, the more you stroke his ego-
the more he is bound to stroke yours :))


does anybody have a birthday?
here's the birthday fairy - :))


vacationing? -
need a companion..
ehem...(AC)- :))


saved the best for last
thanks gypsy :))


which finally brings us to this one---
there are certain benefits to fishing with a fairy--
especially if you watch from the rear.
:))