yep-- it is always sumthin--

mornin peeps--

i ended up with half this post in the previous comment box..
(it happens sometimes.)


but anyways---
as for todays?

i got nowhere in blogland yesterday-
but i did get some things accomplished in soulland.
it seems i've done close to nothing here for weeks.
just enough to get by . and that's not near enough to satisfy me.

yesterday, i sure did think that i was feeling "good" because they had stopped the stomach bleed and i was on the road to recovery. i was thrilled to not be bedridden, and to be in somewhat minimal pain, at least in comparison to what i had expected. it really wasn't terrible, but i would have taken something if i had it.
so, what did i do? i worked in my week long neglected house... and it was BAD.
i did lots of laundry..still goin.. as you know if you read the comments below.
i paid bills.. -- but only the ones i could pay online-- neglecting still-- some very important ones -- and i don;'t know why--
things like car, truck, rent... WHY???
i do that often.. i honestly do not understand WHY.
the money is there-- i simply cannot make myself write the check. wth?
the car and truck are days late already!

so ya.. anyhow.. half way through the day-- IF that far-- my headache from hell returned.

i swear , this is the same headache that i have been fighting for WEEKS. it comes, and goes, but it is THE migraine from HELL.
it'll hold on for a day or two.. go away for hours or days and return with a vengeance.
by 8 pm last night, i was in near tears with this SOB... and not allowed to take ANYTHING for it.
no aspirin.. and i had nothing stronger. i had never been soo damn tempted to go against dr orders before in my life. that may not be entirely true-- but i could have , and wanted aspirin more that i ever had in my life-- but didn't take any. you have no idea how hard it was to not take a simple friggin aspirin. it's almost just sad really.
i actually considered going to ER for a shot-- i just couldn't fathom the money it would cost to go to that length.. when it was almost bedtime, and sleep meds would hopefully---- ease the prob-- if only for a few hours-

which it did. thank God.

oh-- sorry-- lost my train of thought-- which is part of what i was gettin at---
it finally occured to me -- as the headache worsened , and i was thinkin about this headache that will not leave me.
it is not unusual for me to get a migraine to last two-four days..
BUT a month? never. it has never happened.
so.. i thought-- i wonder if it has something to do with the bleed.. the anemia???
so i google it-- well.. asked hubby to, cuz i wasn't online.
so he did.. he found that it sure does. along with alot of other shit i have been dealing with.
soooo-- i say
i thought they STOPPED the bleed???
he said noooooo---
"the med they gave you is sposed to stop it-- that's why you have to take it for 2 weeks"

well, aint that just freakin peachy???
guess i just had a second wind, and some false hope for a couple hours.
apparently i am STILL bleedin.. and who knows if or when it will really stop.

and the headache? when the hell will IT stop?
and all the other shit-- the sleepin, and bein tired, and ugh. just ugh.

somebody just shoot me now. :((

and while you're at it-- you can be my bill payer too :))
cuz i sure can't get motivated enough to do it--
they're gonna come take my cars if i don't pay the damn things.
holy crap batman.
i'm fallin apart.


and if i drank-- i'd surely be cryin in my beer !
but i don't have one to cry in--
guess i'll cry in my coffee.


by the way folks--- i hope you know ---

i hope you ALL have happy days in your worlds today--
i'm gonna do my best-