i swear i just get dumber by the day

yes , it's true. and here i am. so. lemmee tell you about the last day or so. yep, i lost track. seems to happen, on occasion.

anyhow-- anyone who's read a few days back knows i've had bronchitis for over a week...almost two weeks now.
i spose y'all would also know my kid has been in a bind, and in some trouble lately too.

well.. i guess it was friday night.. same day i had my follow up at the dr. for the bronchitis. which was trying to clear up, but i still felt like hell. she gave me different antibiotics, and prednisone-- ooh boy--- my family is really gonna love me on a few days== PMS AND roid rage ! woo hoo!! (let's not forget i already take a different steroid for addisons.. so i will surely be quite the bitch... as if i'm not naturally bitchy enough as it is. )

so anyhow. soulkid, on top of being hospitalized, and grounded and all sorts of crap-- we decided to cut her some slack and let her hang out --or well, let a couple friends, hang out with her. so we took them to the mall, while we ate dinner.. then brought them all back here for the night. of course they had fun.. but it was a big mistake on our part. i was unable to sleep. at all. not one second. hubby was up til about 2 ish. we were just nervous that they would sneak out--or make trouble...again. so even though i loaded up on my sleep meds.. i was wide awake all night long.

so , i somehow managed to kill the entire night --and part of the morning-- online, and doin other stupid stuff. then sometime in the morning, i got the bright idea to sort tackle. OMG , one of these days i'll have to take aq picture of my tackle. it's just stupid. for the little pond? yep-- it's overkill. so-- what i thought might take an hour -- ended up taking like three hours... then i went fishin. by then it was aLready almost noon! i was so tired i was blind. but, i still, forced myself to go. thinkin the fresh air would do me good.

well, i don't think it did. i fished about an hour and a half or so-- got one bite and missed it. it was almost 90 degrees, i was hot and tired and sick, and blah. i could have laid on the grass and gone to sleep. good lord i was tiahd.

but i made it home, and went pretty much right to bed, after a quick run scan thru here. and my email. looks like i posted here at 3-- i woke up this morning at 130 !!! i woke up many times between 11 and 130--- but still. that is like the longest i have slept in .. .. i don't know, but a LONG time. and i coughed my heart out half the night. i guess layin down so long allowed me to collect all the crap back into my lungs. ugh. i woke up in such pain i can't even tell you. i guess it might compare to bein beat with a baseball bat about the back and head??? perhaps? seriously. i feel like hammered dog shit.

AND to top it off? i was sittin here havin my first cup of coffee and cigarette, trying to collect my thoughts and figure out wth had happened over thee last few days. i really did lose track of time-- and i still have three kids here. :))
but then , i realized something.... somethin really really sucky.
and stupid.
very stupid.

y'all remeber how i was (we were) sposed to go to vegas to meet jamie and her fam??? and, how we cancelled etc?
well, guess what????
i did cancel mine and hubby's plane tickets and hotel... but guess what i FORGOT to do?? that yesterday while sleeping my life away was my last chance to do???? i forgot to cancel my nephew....slash soul kid-sitter-- s - $333..00 plane ticket !!!!!

yep $ 333.97 i believe
now do you see it aint lucky???
if he doesn't wake up today and decide to visit regardless of us being here or away-- well, we're out, not only that 333.00 but also the 300 .00 it cost to cancel mine and hubbys'.

can we say owwwwwch!!???

how bout STOOPID!!!???

ok, well that's enough for now. i'm roasting, and out of coffee. just wait til the roids kick in. LOL
if i go missing--- check the lake! hubby may throw me overboard!

have happy days today--

yep-- it is always sumthin--

mornin peeps--

i ended up with half this post in the previous comment box..
(it happens sometimes.)


but anyways---
as for todays?

i got nowhere in blogland yesterday-
but i did get some things accomplished in soulland.
it seems i've done close to nothing here for weeks.
just enough to get by . and that's not near enough to satisfy me.

yesterday, i sure did think that i was feeling "good" because they had stopped the stomach bleed and i was on the road to recovery. i was thrilled to not be bedridden, and to be in somewhat minimal pain, at least in comparison to what i had expected. it really wasn't terrible, but i would have taken something if i had it.
so, what did i do? i worked in my week long neglected house... and it was BAD.
i did lots of laundry..still goin.. as you know if you read the comments below.
i paid bills.. -- but only the ones i could pay online-- neglecting still-- some very important ones -- and i don;'t know why--
things like car, truck, rent... WHY???
i do that often.. i honestly do not understand WHY.
the money is there-- i simply cannot make myself write the check. wth?
the car and truck are days late already!

so ya.. anyhow.. half way through the day-- IF that far-- my headache from hell returned.

i swear , this is the same headache that i have been fighting for WEEKS. it comes, and goes, but it is THE migraine from HELL.
it'll hold on for a day or two.. go away for hours or days and return with a vengeance.
by 8 pm last night, i was in near tears with this SOB... and not allowed to take ANYTHING for it.
no aspirin.. and i had nothing stronger. i had never been soo damn tempted to go against dr orders before in my life. that may not be entirely true-- but i could have , and wanted aspirin more that i ever had in my life-- but didn't take any. you have no idea how hard it was to not take a simple friggin aspirin. it's almost just sad really.
i actually considered going to ER for a shot-- i just couldn't fathom the money it would cost to go to that length.. when it was almost bedtime, and sleep meds would hopefully---- ease the prob-- if only for a few hours-

which it did. thank God.

oh-- sorry-- lost my train of thought-- which is part of what i was gettin at---
it finally occured to me -- as the headache worsened , and i was thinkin about this headache that will not leave me.
it is not unusual for me to get a migraine to last two-four days..
BUT a month? never. it has never happened.
so.. i thought-- i wonder if it has something to do with the bleed.. the anemia???
so i google it-- well.. asked hubby to, cuz i wasn't online.
so he did.. he found that it sure does. along with alot of other shit i have been dealing with.
soooo-- i say
i thought they STOPPED the bleed???
he said noooooo---
"the med they gave you is sposed to stop it-- that's why you have to take it for 2 weeks"

well, aint that just freakin peachy???
guess i just had a second wind, and some false hope for a couple hours.
apparently i am STILL bleedin.. and who knows if or when it will really stop.

and the headache? when the hell will IT stop?
and all the other shit-- the sleepin, and bein tired, and ugh. just ugh.

somebody just shoot me now. :((

and while you're at it-- you can be my bill payer too :))
cuz i sure can't get motivated enough to do it--
they're gonna come take my cars if i don't pay the damn things.
holy crap batman.
i'm fallin apart.


and if i drank-- i'd surely be cryin in my beer !
but i don't have one to cry in--
guess i'll cry in my coffee.


by the way folks--- i hope you know ---

i hope you ALL have happy days in your worlds today--
i'm gonna do my best-