*sigh*
yep... i feel THAT good.
1230 and i'm already outta gas. but what else is new , right?
anyhow. i was just sittin here taking a break from phase one of kitchen hell duty.... (makes me think of Hells kitchen.... :)) hey.. my kitchen IS hells kitchen!
anywaaaaays... takin a break from the loading the dishwasher, counter tops, trash, etc..... then ran out of hot water... awwww... such a pity. so, that was my calling for a break. so i am now in my room, the only quiet place in the house. my cave. my hide out. i checked a couple emails, and comments etc, and i was just about to go head for phase two of kitchen hell duty... when hubby said he had just started the dishwasher. ahhhh sweet relief. that part , in my mind was to be phase three... after the hand washing of the pans and other large cookware etc. but i was spared... for a while. so... here i am.
so anyhow, i just figured what better time than the present, to tell my mall hell story. and that is what i am going to do. at least as well as my senile will allow. afterall, this happened, what?.. on friday? yes, friday.
okay... let's go to the mall, shall we...
friday afternoon....
step one... i was already wiped out... (reference to Fridays post... the one that refers to me being exhausted, yet having to go to the mall... under duress) ...
step two.... daughter (13) and i... finally get into the car to head out to the mall for school shopping... phase two i think. it was to be for shoes... and perhaps supplies as well. yes i believe so. BUT.... does anything ever go the way i want , or worse "expect" it to go???? oh hell no. especially when it comes to shopping. for anything. much less... with, or for my child.
ok... anyhow... step two... we get into the car... that would seem like a rather simple task, wouldn't ya think??? really , for anyone... getting into the car, E-Z. right? oh noooo. actually, we did get in the car, even started it... but then:
i say... do you have your school supply list?
she says: uh, no.
I say: umm well, don't you think you should go get it???
*GRUMBLE GRUMBLE*
turn off the car.. in 110 degrees, wait for the kid to fumble with the door key..yes 13 still has a hard time with keys and doorknobs....five minutes later, as i am having a heat stroke in the car... she returns, list in hand.
woo hoo! right?
noooooo.....
i start the car... again. get the air on..of course... first thing she does...(no surprise, but still...i'm hot, i'm tired, i want a damned nap, not a trip to the fuckin mall!)...she takes out my bob seger cd...and puts in some shit of hers that i hate. i tell her OH NO... not today! so it just gets worse from there.... (no quotes here... but it's baaaaad...i just don't remember it all)... but i didn't get three blocks down the street before i turned around, flames shooting from my eyes, and worse shooting from my mouth!.... i tell her
i am not takin that shit from you TODAY! we will go home right now!
she gets all panicky...which makes her screeching angst even worse! nooooooo please blah blah blah... so of course i give in... with the threat of.... you raise your voice once, or piss me off in ANY way, and we WILL come home immediately. she promises to behave.
i shoulda KNOWN better. i've heard it a million times. but we continued on to the mall.
(listening to her music. :((((((((((((((((((((((( i am such a wuss! a sucker? a pushover???
anyhow, it's not that far to the mall.. 15 minutes? maybe. we get there... barely speaking to each other. which sometimes isn't that uncommon...but sometimes in the car is the only time we talk. this time..lotsa tension. i just knew it was only gonna get worse, and i really wish i woulda followed my instincts and talked her dad into going. instead of me. but nooooooo.
ok... fast forward a bit. we do "ok" for a while. til she doesnt get her way. which was when i realized i had a pair of sunglasses...the brightons, not the batman ones...that i was gonna drop off for repair... but left them in the car. so i had to go get em. so she decides to have a damned baby fit about goin back to the car. i told her to sit in a chair by the coffee shop and wait .. she didnt wanna do that either. OMG..all she did was
GRUMBLE GRUMBLE GRUMBLE
(forgetting, we were there for HER... to spend money on HER... i did NOT want to be there... it was for HER..yet she wanted to be disrespectful. (for lack of a "safer" term.)
soooo we are walking back to the car and i notice her button up shirt is inside out. is it a trend? a fashion statement? or was it a fashion disaster??? well, apparently she dressed in the dark...or in a hurry, cuz she was mortified...and took it out on me. shit , I didn't put it on her... why get pissed at ME??she had a t-shirt under it..if it were me, i would simply find a corner and switch it around....but noooo, she had to act like it was a massive medical emergency or something.
so, we get to the car, and it takes her ten minutes...in 110 degree heat... to turn her freakin shirt around!!!!!!!! UGH. by now i could faint... or punch someone... not so much her... just anyone.
ok, so we manage to make it back inside. after waving off two cars who thought we were leaving and wanted my parking spot. :((
we go to the sunglass place. which a big ass hassle. and i know it will be a bigger hassle later and i will end up arguing with someone..or telling them to keep the glasses and shove em, when they try to charge me for replacing the arms, when they only needed screws. i shoulda just fixed em myself. will i ever learn?
ok so we leave there. glasses to be sent off. will let ya know how that goes in 4-6 weeks...lovely. but oh well, not like i need em now anyhow. just thought i would give em to the kid... having second thoughts now tho, after all of THIS.
anyhow... i'll skip the few snaps and bites in between at the shoe store, and hot topic... and fast forward to where it allllll came to a boiling head:
i was flat out exhausted by then. hell i was exhausted for hours before then. imagine that moment. well... we had to walk thru the food court to get to the car. so guess what? oh yes. the kid wants chick fil a. what do i want? i want a damn cigarette, and i want to be away from all the damn people and noise, and i want to be in my car, and i want to get the school supplies...and i want to BE home!!!!! THAT is what I wanted. so i say....
let's just leave and go to the one by target by the house.....
nooo i want to eat here, i'm tired i wanna sit down, i i i i i i i i ...whaaaaaaaa.
what do i do? i attempt to convince her that a few minutes wont kill her, my back hurts i'm tired, lets go get it down the road etc.... but noooooo. she must have it at the mall. right now. right here.
ok, fine. i don't have the energy to argue. get the damn food , eat and let's get the hell outta here, so i can SMOKE!
so..we order her food, but i did not want chicken! so we get her food, get her at a table, and i go to a different little place..for a sandwich. they took forever..to make a freakin sandwich. a 6.00 sandwich that i really didnt even want. i wanted a cigarette! so, i'm there waiting...and every couple minutes i look over to check on the girl. the first couple times, she's just sittin there, eating her chick fil a...doin fine. UNTIL...DUM DUM DUM.....
i look over like the third time... and there is a boy sittin there with her! a boy i had never seen before! an older boy! i'm like... OH HELL NO! so i go over there. not all stormin over like a crazy lady or anything...i just walked over... i looked at her face first... trying desperately to "read" it. then i look at him. he actually wasn't a bad lookin kid, just older. soooo.... i ask her
"someone you know?"
"umm, no"
so i say to him...
"how old are you"
he says.... "16"
i say...
"she's not"
he says
"she's not??????"
i say
"no...so you can leave."
he says..."i can leave?
i say yes please."
so he gets up, and walks away.
and OMG. WW3 erupted at our little table.
well, 1st i had to go pick up my food..i came back, sat down... and here's how it went...
FIRST... I apologized! i did not have to... i coulda just gone off on her and been a total ass. but i KNEW i had embarrassed her. so I apologized. then i went on to explain why i did what i did.
and just as i had thought... i "read" her expression wrong. it wasn't save me... it was... okaaay this is weird.
but she could not understand any of it from my side. and woul;dn't ya know... guess when her dad decides to call? RIGHT THEN. and by this time she decided also, that she wanted to leave...and not eat her fuckin food that she just HAD to have...RIGHT THEN.
it was a total freakin mess. so of course dad got frustrated, trying to explain he woulda done the same damn thing i did... and why.... and for her to apologize to ME...and to straighten her ass up...
well...she STILL could only view it at a thirteen year olds' perspective. and dad doesnt handle that well. so he got pissed, and hung up on her. then she ended up crying. then the food ended up in the can... the school suppplies got nixed (for that day..which only upset her more)... we didn't speak at all til we got home...and that was only when we parked in the driveway...
she said
I'm sorry mom.
i said
i know.
and that was that.
you know you wanna be me
11 comments:
mem'ries...oh so beautiful...and yet....
ha ha !! already been you. now it's your turn.
fun ain't it. and just think ,13 is only it's infancy. :))))
I'm off to show the bar. wish me luck!!!
luv me
Oh Lord, Soul, what a "fun" outing with the kid. Yup, shoulda followed that first instinct to turn back. I actually did that once with my two. We were headed to Lubbock one Saturday morning for some mall shopping (mind you this is a 100 mile drive) and they started in on each other and who was gonna sit in the front seat before we were a a half-mile out of town. I got pissed, I gave them one warning that it had better stop. It didn't... so I turned the car around and came back home - leaving two very dumbfounded and pissed off kids. But they got the message - it never happened again. Your daughter is just coming into the fun age, but I agree with your hubby, a little more respect is needed here - you are the Mom! If you are worn out and tired it's time to go home. I thought you handled the boy thing pretty well, considering, you could have made it MUCH more embarassing if that was your intent! I hate to say the fun is just beginning, but it is. Maybe you can contract with Dad to do the shopping 'til she turns about 21?!! LOL I like how the story ended, of course they know when they are being little buttheads. But she loves ya, and I know you love her too.
oldy... boys are soooo different. close... but sooo different. remember, wez lived with us not far from this age for that "awkward" year. and it was DAY vs. NIGHT.
not one argument such as these. only the loud music was the same..and some things with school and teachers. but the behavior was sooo very different.
BUT.. did i ever tell you about the time that me and stez cam home to find him 14 years old, with several friends over...and a girl sitting on his lap?!!!! talk about an OH SHIT moment. for all concerned.
but i tell ya what.. it's that old double standard i guess... i handled that much better than i could imagine i would if i were to walk in on MY KID sitting on a boys lap ! OMG!!! the horror !!!!
somebody save me!!!! how can i stay live in lala land for the next ten years???????
oh how'd the "showing" go???
oh JOS, i HAVE dragged her sassy butt right ut of the mall before...that is why she freaked out so bad. because she knew i wasn't playin around, and was quite capable of going home and not to the mall. too bad it didn't go as planned tho. but... hopefully a lesson learned.... by all.
and if i were you, i woulda gone home too. geesh, 100 miles to take kids shopping who are gonna be little turds?? oh not in this life time. glad they learned their lesson !
embarrassing her.. or him, at the mall was not my intent. it was only to "protect" her. i know she can't live under my wing. and i won't always be there. but i was there that time, and really,i didn't know what i was supposed to do. i did the best i knew how to do. i'm sure they were both embarrassed. and i truly did feel bad for that. but he was 16.. she is 13. she does look older, and she is not one to just blurt out... btw... i'm 13! duh. sooooo. yes. i worried. but what can ya do right?
live and learn.
fun shit.
(maybe i need to remember she has two brother angels shadowing her)
:))
god soul... what a nightmare.. im glad aly still can be made to mind with just a "look"...but im sure it will not be long before i am in YOUR shoes... lordy.... but at least your hubby sided with you on that... i know so many cases where the parents dont agree... yikes!!!
Your daughter totally reminds me of me at that age.
So sorry that your outing turned into such a disaster. I tend to have those kind of disasters with my son.
In reference to my hair loss post...yes, we did have a cat, but it was not ringworm. If I remember correctly, I think they said it was mange or some other funky thing that you think only animals can get:o
oh wow! I'm sorta glad I have boys..course at least you can think to yourself, "someday when she has children... :)"
16year old boy hitting on 13year old girl? Thanks for reminding me that I need to make sure I implement an age zone for my boys when they're older.
What a mission. Did you ever get your smoke? Or did I miss that part???
yikes!!
Always,
Crusty~
okay, I missed something in your previous posts back months..two boy angels? Are you up for talking about it?
Always,
Crusty~
OMG, I am so lucky I didn't have to go through this with my daughter. She has yet to put me through any of this and she is almost 17. I figure she is saving it up for once big daddy drag down HA
yankee, i don't think the "look" ever worked with me and her... it worked for a while between her dad and her... but she likes to argue with ME. :((
E... that could be a GOOD thing then right? cuz seems to me, you turned out pretty darn good! :)) (well, except for that mange on your head! :)) funny stuff.
Crusty.. yep, good idea... tell them never go a year behind them until high school.and even then only go with girls in HIGH school. geesh. beatin em away with baseball bats around here for the last two years. i just found out some other high school boy she knows...and has had a crush on, for the last year.... THINKS she is 14 ! yes, it's only a year to her... but it could be jail for some boy down the road. i had to tell her NEVER lie about your age til after your 18 !!! ( at first she says.. YOU GUS wouldn't put someone in jail !!!.... then she looked deep into my eyes, and realized that oh YES I would !! (NOT that she is or has done anything yet..ya just never know. OMG SHUT ME UP!!!
Crusty i will tell ya abut my two boys sometime...just not right now. k?
Mike... consider yourself BLESSED !!
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