back to the real world today

hiya peeps-

what's goinin on in your worlds today?

mine? hmmm. seems to be quite a lot for the time of day it is. good lawd. i've been 'up' since like 130 this morning. soulman came to bed at about 12:30, and i woke up with him laughing at me, whilst taking my picture! again. he has a strange sense of humor, i'll tell ya. he has one particular video of me after i fell asleep --- well... sleep eating. haha. he had the gall to show it to audrey -- like a month after i begged , and thought he had deleted it. it's so embarrassing !! there i am - a dish of ranch on my bed table-- baby carrot in my hand-- IN the dish of ranch-- and yup- you guessed it-- sleepin like a baby.
good lord. i just figured it would be safer than smokin in bed--- well, til i saw the damn video-- and realized just how painful, if not deadly-- choking on a baby carrot in your sleep might be.

so yeh. last night- he comes to bed, i'd been asleep for a couple hours by then. i remember i was dreamin about 'somethin' - no idea what-- and i was movin my legs all over the place :)) so the movement has me half awake anyhow--- i open my eyes-- and what do i see? yes--- soulman , standin next to the bed-- gigglin like a schoolboy-- snappin my photo-- of God knows what- running? swimmin? bikin? triathaloning?
who knows? but i wasn't happy about it.
you know he was though. sometimes that's what counts i reckon.

i thought i was done for-- usually when i wake up after a deep sleep -- that's it, and i'm just up. but he was gettin such a big laugh out of this i couldn't resist to not be mad. so i just asked him what was so darn funny anyhow?
he said he had come in there quite upset, and seeing me all nutty made him laugh, and he needed it.
so of course i sat up and turned on the lamp to talk and find out why he was upset.
wondering.. WTH, he was fine when i went to bed. ya know.
so what happened was he had thought about work tomorrow, and then his truck!
it was just a couple days ago that we had to call AAA out to jump start it . (we tried to use my car once-- FAIL-- almost had two dead vehicles).

he had remembered it hadn't hardly been driven since he has been on vacation-- almost a full two weeks. give or take a day or two. so he went out -- i think on friday or saturday to go somewhere-- and it wouldn't start. hmmm. peachy. i just told him, hell it's been freezin, and hasn't been started, just let it get a good charge, drive it, etc etc , blah blah blah. he did all that, and all was well--- til--- yup-- midnight last night, when he decided he better see if it was gonna start. did it? nope.

so he was all pissed off about that, worried about how to get to work in the morning etc.
i got him chilled out a little -- told him he would have time to get AAA out in the morning if he called early, and he'd be fine. ok. ahhhh/ let's go to sleep.
hmmm. how do ya think that worked out?
yeh. it didn't. well, i don't know about him, but i fell back to sleep-- after a pain pill cuz my back was in knots. maybe that helped. but about an hour later, i woke up again-- and i got this bright idea- i was gonna take HIS picture. haha. paybacks are a bitch.
well, i looked over at him--- and -- yikes-- he was still awake. he almost scared me.
i hadn't looked at the clock, so i'm thinkin it was like 3 o'clock or so. found out it had only been about an hour, and he said he just couldn't get to sleep.
so, i offered to make him some hot tea, to help him relax a little, that everything was gonna be ok-- even if i had to keep the truck and get it jumped myself. he would get to work, and the kid would get to school, and there really wasn't much to worry about-- aside from exchanging the batteries-- that still have like ten months left on the warranty.
so he agreed, we got up, i made him tea-- y'all, this isn't something i do on a regular basis-- but i'll tell ya-- i felt good to finally be taking care of him-- again-- for once.
well, he drank his tea, surfed the net, blabbed a little with me-- and he was able to go to sleep.
sweet dreams soulman.

me? i been up ever since. and would you believe i STILL have that damn migraine from yesterday? well, i do. it did go away in the morning yesterday.. after imitrex and xanax.. and a three hour 'nap' on my office couch. but not long after i was up-- it came back-- i spent the better part of the rest of the day-- and night-- in my bed-- awake, then asleep, then awake, and so on. it really sucked. especially after all that i had said about not giving in to the pain. i spose i hadn't considered damn headaches tho. damn, they piss me off. i accomplished nuthing. again.

oh well, maybe today.
i will be alone in my own house all day. first time in almost two weeks. i really do accomplish more alone. when people are here, i just can't motivate. that's not new for me. i have always been that way. even with jobs. i just work better alone.

so there's my plan -

get soulkid to school and drivers Ed today - first day for her.

make sure hubbby makes it to work and gets the battery situation fixed.

and for me-- get caught up on all that i have -- ok.. what i can of what i have, neglected for what feels like forever.

i am also gonna try and make an appointment for another shot in my back. the ones in my neck don't do much of anything. but when i got that last one in my low back-- it did wonders for my legs and low back. that was like three and a half months ago-- sure has been a bitch this past week or two-- so yup i need to get in there and get another one and just hope i go another three months or so with less leg etc problems.

seems i have the rest of it under control with the meds at this point. that feeling of killer bees attacking me has finally gone away. now it's just p-a-i-n. i can deal with that-- but i want my legs back. dammit.

on that note-- i am outta heah--
lots to do- lots to plan--
nothin at all against my family-- y'all know i love em to pieces - but really, i'm ready for my own time and schedule to be back too.
i think all of us are ready for that. even though we all kinda dread the 'change' of tomorrow. it's always hard to get back into a routine after so much time of kinda doin nuthin. or whatever ya want.
y'all know that i'm sure.

anyhow-- i have a little while before i gotta start rattlin this cage-- so i think i may hit some blogs while i wait.

hope you all have happy days in your worlds today

ore vois :))

waking up on my death couch - ugh

couches are not meant for sleepin on:

that there is called a coffin-couch. lemmee tell ya, at 2 a.m. i may as well have slept on that thing. it's been over an hour since i woke up, and i still feel like i got run over. TWICE!


yesterday was another rough one. one more night with NO sleep,makes the days get worse and worse.
i did get a nap after i ran around and did some other stuff, but that wasn't til like 2 iin the afternoon i think. and after waking up behind the wheel of the car on my way home from the doctor-- half way on the wrong side of the road !!! i am surprised i didn't get pulled over. my gawd..it happened like four times. i didn't think i'd make it home.

at about 6 hubby woke me up .. so i woul be able to go back to bed later and not stay up all night again. my gawd that shit's gettin old. it's unnatural to not sleep for days at a time--and it is really beginning to affect me.

we had salad for dinner, and watched american idol. well.. i watched part of it. after i ate-- i had to lay down, so i moved to the couch to watch. within minutes i was fallin asleep-- but denying it when soulman would try to send me to bed. i really just wanted to spend time with him,,,, seems we've not seen each other in days-- and i never sleep--so what's wrong with that picture? so anyhow-- he'd say go to bed.. i'd bitch, "i'm watchin. i'm awake. leave me alone!".. i was a bitch, didn't mean to be, but it's not like i plan it when it happens anyhow. guess that part of me is inbred----i am my gran - gran. ha-- that would be my mother. she was mean too. and i am beginning to get mean... not the "sarcastic" bitch " i claim to be. i have crossed that thin line.
i reckon blood clots and seizures, and drug addict kids, and xbox addicted hubbys and messy houses and too many shittin , peein, pukin , scratchin furniture animals, will do that to a person.
i hear "this will pass"--- but ya know what i have learned? the shit does pass--- only to slow down in front of me like "a damn not knowin how to drive driver on a cell phone so i can run into it again".. ugh.


so anyhow- i wake up this morning, at 2 am. on the killer couch-- apparently , he did "leave me alone".....cuz i swear-- i feel like hell. from head to toe i hurt everywhere! i think i may sell that couch today. it is not a layin down on couch. in fact, i don't have a layin down on couch--and i want one! but it aint this one.
this one damn near killed me. so it is outta heah... today if not sooner. money or not--i'll donate the son of a bitch, and buy one i can actually relax on.
the theater seats were a big mistake. anyone want to buy em..cheap? or trade? i'm sick of em. but hey-- they're paid for. which is more than i can say for my bed. :O




sleepin all contorted on that thing left me feeling like hell swallowed me whole when i woke up. ooooohhhh the pain. even my hands and feet hurt---not to mention my head, back and legs-- and neck. ugh-- my neck. someone just kill me.
but hey, i am slow at posting-- so since i started this post i have taken aleive , had 2 cups of coffee, and sat up in my soul chair--- for like 2 hours. so it's not quite so bad now-- but it's still bad. and aggetating. this body of mine. and couch.

i think i am learning to live with the pain. i do have a decent doc finally who understands and does prescribe pain meds-- but they really aren't enough, not in strength or numbers, but they help. and i appreciate that. even though i have begun hiding them..even with soulkid in rehab, i hide pills...and then cannot find them !!! like this morning. ugh. yes, that's why i took the no no alleive. cuz i forgot where i hid my pain meds. how stupid.
i swear i'm losin my mind, and the forgetfulness is gettin so bad--- it is beginning to get me in trouble. i make promises, or say things-- then i don't remember it. then the end result is lettin someone down. sucks to be me. but oh well. time for an altzheimers test.
cuz apparently-- i promised soulkid i would take her to austin-- for a "fun weekend"--- when did this happen??? i have NO recollection of it. but she and her dad do. so i guess i said it. i did plan on takin her on a trip-- but it wasn't to friggin austin. there is nuthin i want to do there. i would love to go tubin again-- but the water is too cold right now. so that's out. wtf?
anyhow-- to cease an argument-- i agreed-- fine we'll go to austin. even tho i don't remember talkin about it-- and i don't wanna go. dammit.

i don't know why i worry right now-- i don't have any idea when she's gettin outta rehab anyways. by then maybe she will change her mind...or i will. or perhaps someone will forget about it. like me.


welp-- i think that's about all i got for now. except the mysterious underlining. always shows up when i seem to be frustrated about something.

what might that be, i wonder? hmmmm.

one thing that i'm pissed about is yesterday i went into a damned convenience store to pee and get somethin to drink... i bet i sneezed thirty times in that store. then on the way out i noticed i didnt have my phone. ugh. the cashier wanted me to fill out some form for a store card-- when i said no i have to go find my phone--- she said whats it look like?
SNEEZE__SNEEZE---- it's in a black holster.
she held it up--
SNEEZE..thank you!
i haven't sneezed since-- but my nose is like a broken faucet. i've sprung a leak.
it better be some new allergy to somethnin in that store-- cuz i do not wanna be sick right now.

anyways--
the second video--i was surprised it took the right song--- but when i redid it-- i had two songs and a whole lot more pix that did not go on it. how frustrating. makin those things can be a real bitch sometimes.

so-- do have happy days in your worlds today---
i'll get back to you on mine.
maybe.