my soul sis requested a story, i don't have one right now - but i'm sure i can come up with somethin when i have more time . i just wanted to come in here real quick and let ya know i am thinkin of all my mom friends today. yes sis - that includes you. (btw- call me back!)
ya know , today i have received more 'happy mothers' day's ' - than any other in the past. i don't know why - but it is very most awesome - in its awesomeness. obviously my lil soul family would do this - cuz i am z- soul mamma. :)) but as for friends ? i don't know about y'all, but i just don't expect this from folks who i am not related to. so i have to say THANK YOU !!! - big and humble right here.
it means so much this particular year -- i spose because this year, and this past many months, i have had a terrible time dealing with the losses of my two sons. it has been many years since they 'left ' here. one would think that a person would just move on already. some years are better than others i guess. this past year, not so much. today? no complaints. i didn't wake up thinking bad or sad thoughts or anything.... but the happy mothers day wishes keep coming .... and i cannot forget the fact that i am a mom of THREE beautiful babies. and i also have many - (too many) - friends that i dearly love --- whose message i have to think has that symbolic hug behind it that only a mom who has lost a child knows --
so today i want to say
happy mothers day to ALL the moms out there!!!!!!
but a very special -- happy mothers day to the moms to the angel babies -- ! there are no other moms like us!!!
i write this in honor of my angel babies
Jacob
Patrick
AND
my very special gift from God
Soulkid
and to all of YOU --
i love you !!!
5 comments:
Ahh yes, Soul Sis, Mother's Day is especially meaningful for anyone who has had babies they held in their arms for only a short while or never had the chance to hold at all. As your beautiful daughter grows closer to flying the nest anyday now, I'm sure your heart and memories do return to the two little ones who in your mind and heart will always be that small. What I think about is how much them must love you. Do you want them watching you weep for them forever, or do they want you living life to the fullest possible in joy? Celebrate that they were and that they are, as surely you and I both know, and that they day will come when they will hold you in their strong arms, safe from the pain and worries of this world! You are a devoted mom, and I am just suspecting that God has a plan involving little grandsons someday down the road who will remind you ever so much of Patrick and Jacob and will help heal those sore spots in your heart! We both know what a hard job it is to be a mom, and how much one worries, but look how wonderfully our daughters have turned out, we must have done a few things right along the way, huh? HUGS SOUL SIS, God Bless You!
dammit soul sis -- you just HAD to make that tear squeeze its way out didn't you? not in a bad way. that was beautifully written, and i know from your heart.
i love you-
sisters always-
soul
Hey girl -
Thanks so much for the stop-by today.
Yes, it is hard not to miss our angel babies today. We think of all the "if onlys" and the "what ifs" but the fact remains that they are never far from us. They are always right here (pointing at my heart) and right here (pointing at my head). I have become such an overprotective mom about my son. I'm so scared of something happening to him, but he has to live his life. He has to make his mistakes, and his life is at risk every day just as mine is, as everyone's is. We all take our lives into our hands just waking up.
But that scar that is left when we lose a child is something that never heals right. It is torn, rather than cut neatly. It grows together in a heap, as though taped together, rather than cleanly, as if neatly sutured. But when those scars ache? I really believe that's our children thinking of us, too.
I don't know what's on the other side, but from the glimpse I got during my NDE, it's beautiful, warm, and safe. It's peaceful, and it is like being wrapped in love. My daughter is wrapped in that love, and when I get to see her again, she'll be wrapped in my arms again, too.
Much love. Happy Mother's Day - D
To lose a child is...unthinkable, a mother's worst nightmare, but to lose two...I don't know how you've survived. No, no, of course I do. Soulkid. You lived for Soulkid. She needed you and you needed her. And some day, she'll probably bless you with grandsoulkids.
I'm one of the lucky ones...I spent the day with both my children, my wonderful children-in-laws (is that a word?) my grandchild, and my own mother, still going strong at 79. But in the midst of my practically perfect day, my thoughts turned to you, and I could only hope that your Mother's Day was filled with happy, if melancholy memories.
(And by the way, Soulkid is gorgeous!)
I'm glad it was a Happy day for you kido!
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