when good moods go bad

epic soul-fail ahead

hiya peeps-

i reckon i should prolly not bother postin today, but i have noticed i have folks comin by checkin for updates, so i figured i may as well throw somethin up.

so. ya ready? off we go.

i actually slept in a bit this mornin, so i felt ok. cept for the fact- my buddy, my pain, was right there with me. i think i'll come up with a name for my partner. we seem to spend more and more time together. yesterday, in fact, right in the middle of shopping with my family , i spent the second half of the outing in the car, alone, while they finished up. my legs gave out, my back gave out, and the headache and nausea followed. gawd i'm a joy to be around. meds didn't touch any of it. and i was totally ruined for the rest of the day.

i did manage to sit with the family- and audrey, and soulkids boyfriend, later in the night, and watch a movie though. still nursing a friggin migraine from hell. but i did well-- at least i think so-- in not cry babying about it-- .
we watched

'500 days of summer'

soulkids pick-- but a good movie
- i was happy i stayed up to watch.-

i was up til well after midnight tho, and y'all know this ole lady is normally in bed well before 9 on a normal night... some nights it can be as early as 7 when i am not feeling well. so 'sleepin in til after 7, wasn't really sleepin in. so even though i felt good - for the most part, wakin up... i don't spose i have to tell ya, it didn't last long for that mood to fade. do i?
it's 10:45 now, and i been wantin to go back to bed for two hours already.
i can't tho. too much to do. so i really must find some way to motivate. how? that's the question.

are ya wondering what sent me in the downward spiral? well, i was actually doin ok-- until-- audrey informed that one of my really pretty lamps-- antique - with hand painted globes-- i have two, that my sister gave me--- well i let audrey put one in her room upstairs when she got here.... anyhow-- she's been gone at her job for 2 or 3 weeks--- she got back yesterday to stay for christmas--- she tells me this morning---
just so ya know - I didn't do it, but your lamp upstairs, is broken-- the GLOBE! i can't replace that! WTF! i must say-- i am utterly pissed off--- and you know the first thing that came to my mind don't ya? yup--
"can't have nuthin!"
i just can't.
simple as a friggin lamp-- did i go look? oh hell no. i don't even wanna see it.
this is why i don't even want 'stuff'
can't keep it anyhow--
it gets broken or stolen or somethin anyhow.
grrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

so anyhow--
i just kinda sat here all bitchy and quiet for a while. then i realized i can't do a thing about it. soulkid will only deny it. i can't prove anything. i didn't see who broke it. i haven't even been upstairs in two weeks. all i know is.... yeh. you know.
i'm tired of being sentimental. maybe i'll stick to the mental part. i'm pretty good at that.

well, i think i better get UP and do something productive.. before my 'giveashitometer' breaks :))

have happy days peoples!