so tell me am i realy crazy or do i just see 'sumthins'

howdy peeps --

the first part of this i'm stealin from part of an email i wrote last night. i'm just too lazy to re-write the same thing twice. of course "real" names were changed to protect the innocent :))

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a few days ago, soulman was puttin the boat in the garage.. he has a key chain that splits in two-'detaches'. well, one side has only his truck key.. the other has everything else-- such as my car key--an electronic one, the house key, the storage key, PO box key, and another one or two. well.. he had the truck key in the ignition with the truck runnin... cuz he had backed the boat up into the garage -- but guess where the other half of the key chain was???? yep-- sittin on the rear bumper. well... soulkid was sittin in the truck impatiently waiting to go spend her report card money--- so him, bein the doting daddy-- forgot about the keys-- and off they went---- and yep --- LOST the keys.

in the mean-time, i have been a nervous wreck over these keys for days. almost a week.
knowing, that all someone-- with these keys in the wrong hands-- all they would have to do would be to drive-- or walk around, clickin my car keys until it beeped , and voila! they would know where i live-- and park. they would have access to my house, and my car. and US.

well, guess what? today--- soulman was at work, soulkid at school, me alone--with the critters-- and i'm sittin here payin bills and crap like that-- no tv or other noise on -- know what i heard??? yep.... my car beeped in the garage!!!!! did i freak out? absolutely!

i had no idea what to do though. i went out and checked the garage and my car though, and looked outside. nothin out of the ordinary-- except for the fact .. i don't lock my car when it's in the garage-- BUT -- now it was locked!

i had plans to run my errands and go to a dr appointment. instead , i hung out til i had no time left but to only go to the dr. so i could watch the house.

then, normally, we crate both dogs when we leave em alone.. this time i left EEVEE loose. remember- she's been trained in shutzhund.. she could rip someone to shreds if she wanted to-- like a police dog.

well... i went to my appointment.. left the dog out-- made sure i locked all the doors etc... picked up soulkid from school on my way home... when we got home-- i had her wait outside for a minute so i could check out the house before she came in-- i didn't tell her about 'someone' having our keys. -- well, i walked through the house-- everything was in place... but the dogs were a bit over excited -- and guess what?

my front door was UN-LOCKED! ugh! if i would have locked eevee in her crate they would have come in my house! she scared them enough that they didn't take one step inside-- i know cuz my laptop was only three feet in the door on my office coffee table.
i am so pissed off i could scream!

(the email ended there -- but to continue :)

so anyhow-- needless to say-- hubby stopped at the store on his way home from work and bought new locks-- and changed them out last night -- first thing.

i don't guess i have to say that a new lock or two doesn't make me feel real safe though. better. but not best. this is just unbelievable!
.
first-- we still.. live with the fear of the mover guy comin back here to rob us or do something stupid--- and now this. some asshole has MY keys. yes-- he has to get through the front door to steal my car--- actually he doesn't-- there is a pretty good sized window out there that two people could fit through-- now that i think about it-- someone make me STOP thinking! ... but anyhow.
if not for my dr appointment yesterday, i would have gone and bought a gun. yes you heard that right. me , the one who always bitches at hubby for even buying guns -- i always make him dismantle them, and lock them up where i don't know where they are. but yesterday? i called a place in town that is widely known for selling guns. for many many years i assumed that no one would, or could legally sell 'me' a gun. well, i found out different. they only do a 'criminal background check'. hmmm. i was wrong. whaddayaknow. seems i am wrong about a lot lately. and as for 'hospitals' ?
only if you have been put there by the police do they even know about it. hmmmm.
yup. my wheels were spinnin.
no-- i wasn't lookin to buy some high powered machine gun or anything-- just a small, cheap -- shoot someone in the leg if they came in my house type thing. the guy said they had a few that ran around 200 bucks. boy-- i was ready to run!
only thing stoppin me from my mission? i had an appointment. with none other than my shrink. :))
do you think i told her about my thoughts of buyin a gun? especially with 'my history' ? of course i did. i also told her why. and i also told her that i wasn't planing on telling hubby a thing about it.
surprisingly---? she didn't tell me not to. hmmmm.
i really thought she would be against it-- or at minimum -- tell me to tell hubby. she did neither.

but anyhow-- like i've told y'all before-- i'm too honest. i can't keep things like that from my husband. after he changed the locks, i did talk to him. i told him just how sick and tired i am of 'this' kinda crap happening to me-- us. how sick i am of not feeling safe -- especially in my own home! i was upset-- angry , and crying -- sort of crying.. just a tear or two-- i wasn't about to let go-- i may never stop crying once i start. not at this point. there's just way too much goin on in this life of mine.
--- example? -- my shrink rx'd name brand prozac yesterday... in hopes that it would work better than the generic shit i been on. i'm in a rut folks-- and i'm about to shop for curtains to hang in it.

anyhow. you're wonderin what hubby said about 'me' having a gun, aint ya?
well. he was much calmer than i thought he would be about the whole thing. he wanted to know why i wasn't gonna tell him. i told him-- i am telling you. but i was afraid you'd wig out.
well, he was ok about it-- mood wise-- anyhow. but he did make some valid points-- aside from the obvious. but one that even i hadn't thought of.
have any of y'all thought of it yet? cuz it only took him a second. my bed meds. and the stupid things i do in the middle of the night while 'on' them, that 9 times out of ten, i have no recollection of.
well--- that my friends was the clincher. i will not be buying a gun. i'm just not a person that should own, handle, have access to, or get to the point of shooting a gun.
i'm happy that he thought of that. because i had pretty much thought of every other scenario-- except shooting one of our animals, one of the soul clan, or one of soulkids friends -- on accident. ugh.
so-- his 'solution'? aside from changing the locks-- and recoding my car locks and keys?? an alarm system. which yes we put off on getting before when we thought the mover guy may come around.
but now-- who the hell knows what kind of people have my keys-- and tried to come inside yesterday???
i can't handle this shit guys.
i sure am glad we have eevee!

ok anyhow--
i'll keep this next part short--

in fact-- a picture post--
haven't done that in a while--

my sloppily made bed-
with my new duvet set!
lowsy pic- sorry
but it's nice-and the animals love it teeewww

my pretty flower bed :))
-with my now ugly window covering-
to hide from the bad guys :((

next---

ok, here 'she' is
mamma kitty, with the black baby kitty
havin breakfast this morning


oh , but WAIT-
if mamma's up there-
then WHO is THIS?


OMGoshkness !

there's TWO of them !!!
so that explains why , the other day.
when i was holding mama kitty -
i saw BALLS!!!!

i was sooo confused!
til we found out there were TWO of them!
a BOY and a GIRL

i'm beginning to think maybe i aint so crazy afterall :))

have happy days in your worlds peeps

i'll be sittin here with a very sharp knife in my lap all day i'm sure.
(oh hush, i'm kidding)
i will be gettin alarm estimates tho.
dammit