am i awake yet? or still? or at all?

ola my soul peeps ---

OMG peeples--

has anyone ever googled "zombie"? i don't recommend it. there's some terrible pix of them. i was actually looking for a "tired/exhausted look".. what i found was --- movie type zombies. not pretty.









sooo anyhow-- i have not been sleepin for a damn lately. for sure the last 3 or 4 days... but could be more. a couple times i slept zero hours-- and a couple i got only a few-- prolly less than three or four hours. this is no way to live. i feel about like the zombie up there-- but i'm not quite that gross lookin---YET.

i reckon if i do manage to live through this shit--- there's a "lesson" in it somewhere.
i don't know about y'all, but i'm pretty damn tired of all these "lessons" in life. they say we have to go through shit over and over til we get it. i must be really really lame when it comes to life. cuz mine sure can get sucky ALOT. as you well know.
i swear though-- someday i'll get it-- and things will be ok. i hope.




i'll tell ya what tho-- at this point--
THIS :
<<<----------- is about the best i can do. hopefully it won't get down to the choking of someone. OR---perhaps-- a good bitch fight just might be a little calming. ridding myself of the internal hell of the soul. ya reckon? :)) i kid. i couldn't hurt no-one. well... yes i could----- i do have a few frickin drug dealers in mind. ugh. and possibly one young soulgirl. BAH!




have i mentioned i am gaining weight like a big ole pig?
it has to be a side effect of one or a combo of my meds. i've had so many changes lately it's crazy. or I AM. but i think i have gained almost--or over ten pounds... in what? 1 month?? holy crap. i had to buy some bigger pants the other day. that was real fun. not! but as you are prolly thinkin--along with everyone else i mention-- i mean , bitch about it to --
NO, i don't "need it" -- i don't want it either. ugh.

it's sugar-- it's like when i was prego with soulkid-- i craved sugar--- and i gained 75 POUNDS!!! why can't sugar be illegal? :))

so anyhow-- i guess that says it all... for the moment.
i'll be around later. busy day ahead-- lotsa work and visiting soul- attack jr. in a couple hours.
but i'll be here tonight.

y'all be happy in your worlds today :))
we really are tryin around here.
(needless to say it aint workin too well)
but we do try.

i had to step away for a while to get some laundry switched around but when i got back.. i checked the weather ---- have a "look see" :))

look WHAT I JUST FOUND--- !!!!

Currently

68.0 °F Clear

Humidity:	15%
Wind:	Calm

THE HELL WITH HOUSEWORK AND BUSINESS---!!!
WE'RE GOIN FISHIN!!!!
the HIGH today?
81...again... BUT the best part? it won't be windy like the last few days.

So-- i may look this ------------------->>>>>>>

and my house may look like

<<<<<------------------------------- THAT, but i don't give a damn




BECAUSE

and i am outta heah

happy sunday

i'll be backk if i catch a fish!!!!!