have i mentioned that insomnia is really getting to me? i'm beginning to feel like that dude in the movie "clockwork orange" -- with the toothpicks holding his eyes open. -- nights are gettin really rough around here. which, in turn, kinda makes , well, life a little rough around here. too. and that my peeps... makes me --- a bitch. and a crybaby. actually, i may not be so much of either if well, lets just say if i could sleep. cuz i could handle the rest better i bet .. if i slept right. crap. i can't even talk right. (write right , i guess i should say). well, i don't talk right either sometimes. :))
for example, last night i was up til 2.. and woke up at like 4, then went back to sleep --- but then i got up at 5. it crap i say. then friday i woke up at 130.. yesterday it was like , hell i don't even remember-- 5ish i think. maybe.
i know i'm luckier than most who have this problem, at least most days like this i do have the opportunity for a nap. but i think some days that makes it worse. especially on days there are things i need or want to be doing something other than sleeping the day away.
well... is that enough cryin for one morning for you? it is for me. i hate to get on here and whine. but, i could go on if you'd like.?
i don't really know what to write about today. it seems anything that has has happened this passed several days is really nothing to blog about. no fish stories... the wind has been hell. i know i've mentioned that 100 times.
other than that... it seems everything else is just plans , with no action..
or crap that is pissin me off.
not sure if it's the bein pissed off that has me not sleepin, or the not sleepin that has me pissed off. all i know , is i'm pissed off.
usually, there are only two things that get me un-pissed off--- and that's fishin-- or a road trip.
and this being the beginning of the week.. sort of. a road trip is out of the question...
and seein as i can hear the wind whippin thru the chimney , and every crack in the house yet again.. i can tell that i won't be fishin yet again today...
it seems that it will be yet another grumpy-- spin crap around in my head- sleep half the day- kinda day.
of course i'll do what i can before i get too tired. not many chores to catch up on.. bills and stuff i can do right here on my ass.... how convenient eh. then it will be time to go pick up my child from her friends' house. and then viola-- nap time it shall be.
soulman however-- is fishing a tournament today. it's been scheduled for months, so the wind is no out for them. he just left for the lake a while ago. the only thing that is gonna make him happy today is either a HUGE fish (bass) --- or to win today. cuz the wind os horrible, and there really is not much worse on the lake than rough water and fishin in the wind for 8 hours. it's just tough. even i don't like it. but he gets downright pissed. at least he isn't controlling the motor today-- that will take some of the stress off of him. but i know he will be grumpy for it anyhow.
he does have fifteen hundred bucks on the line today though. the two of them are fishin for a three thousand dollar pot--to split today. the next three or four tournaments i think are for this amount-- or bigger. but if they don't place in the top , i don't know -- maybe top 30 boats??? they get bumped out of the whole thing. so it's gettin tougher towards the end. i'm pretty sure this is the the third or fourth to the last of this series for them. i'm kinda glad too. it's only once a month... but it's gettin kind of expensive , with the entry fees, gas money- for his truck-and what he gives the other guy for his boat-, then he gets new tackle and baits almost every time, damn, it just adds up quick. i bet almost 200 a month he spends on these things. and they haven't won any cash at all. in what? 6 months maybe? yikes. time to win, wouldn;t ya say?
have you ever noticed how weird a dog looks after they've worn a collar for like a year, then don't have it for a day or two? they look almost nekkid. sushi somehow lost her collar the other day (in the house) she looked so weird-- it's back on now-- and now she looks like herself again.
it's pretty weird-- or maybe it's just me.
well.. enough outta me for one cloudy headed morning.
c-ya
12 comments:
The time in my life that I had insomnia was one of the worst and I'll never forget it and I live in fear that it will happen again. At least you can nap, like you said. I hope the cycle breaks so you can sleep through the night like you're supposed to.
Is it really Sunday again? I'll write you an e-mail later today, OK?
yep-- it really sucks to live like this-- as you know. how long did it last for you-- was it situational?
i have been like this for like ten years or more-- it's PTSD related actually. it started after a traumatic event and has never stopped. i have taken sleep meds ever since-- and even with meds-- i don't sleep normal. and i swear , i take enough meds at night to put down 3 'normal' people for twelve peaceful hours of slumber each. it really is no fun at all. but anyhow-- i'm happy for you that yours has passed and i do hope it never returns. it prolly won't--if you stop worrying that it will :))
i'll be watchin for the email... :))
c ya-- and happy--yep-- sunday.
you should really come cut my hair--i can't seem to get to the hair lady. last time her breath was sooooo bad i almost fell outta the chair. ok it's a motivational problem.. but really she was in breath hell that day. :O
It is great to know I can always visit to get my daily dose of Soul. Thank you friend and thanks for the comment you left me. It was heartfelt and appreciated.
hiya andrew-- always good to see you stop by-- :))
i do hope you get back to your ole self-- i hate to see ya down.. if the wind will stop blowin around here-- i'll try to get you another "andrews BUTT fish!!! lol
he was a BIG boy, wasn't he?
hope you have a good day today -- :))
Insomnia sucks. My mom has this problem and before I got married, I used to be so worried that she could not sleep that my sleep got affected as well.
Try meditation or listen to something soothing music. Are there any aspects of your life that you are not too happy? If you wish you could email to me in private. I can't promise solutions, but I can be good listening ears.
Hope your Sunday was good.
Hey, I did my first 10km run today! Too bad the crowd was so big there I did not manage to meet Blur. It would have been a double jubilee for me if I had managed to meet her today.
Have a Great Week Ahead!
Sorry you are plagued with this lack of sleep thing. I can only imagine what that must feel like.
Hope the wind stops blowing over there soon so we can see some fish! And stop cutting yourself out of the fish pics! You don't want us to take your photoshoping privileges away now do you? Don't make us come to Texas. HA! xo
Hhmmm... I should send you a big hammer. If you can sleep, knock yourself with it once and you will sleep :)
I like your previous meme, so funny! :)
hey ac--- if cuttin my head out of fish pix is all it takes to get y'all to come out here--then i'll fight the wind and keep doin it :))
check back tomorrow and see if i get any --
hope you had a good day-
motha-- i think i may need more than a hammer--- maybe you you need to come NUKE me.. :))
hi WL-
nah--it's ok here-- well for me.. cuz i'm me :)) never a dull moment ya know. but it's alright. i've had trouble with sleep forever though. but thanks.
congrats on the run!
did i know you lived that close to blur? when will you have another chance to meet her.
she eats the best lookin food ! :))
happy week to you too
yeah the no sleep thing sucks- went thru it forever til they gave me seroquel. Seroquel conquers all. Ambien and all that didnt help but the almighty seroquel can knock out an elephant. Its a serious medication tho and not "just for sleep" but I tell you, when you go too long without sleep you get psychotic, therefor the antipsychotic is justified in my book lol.
hi raine--
i took that too-- for at least a year -- maybe two-- i ended up on a way too hight dose-- i lived in a constant comatose state -- and had to go off of it. it was horrible for me. it would put an elephant down tho , that's for sure. but it sure was difficult to function. at all.
i ended up on like 600 mg a day at the end.. i finally said i couldn't take it anymore. that was just not good. well unless i wanted to sleep constantly-- and really-- i couldn't==and didn't want to. so i went on to something else.
after a while i think it makes it hard to move out of any sort of depressive state that you are in and keeps you there. i hated that. maybe if you can stay on a low dose it is ok... but when you get onto a higher-and higher dose-- you become a zombie. blech.
or at least i did.. so i'll pass on that one.
there really isn't much i haven't tried anymore-- and i am gettisn downright pissed about it though. note the time-- ERG.
i think it just might kill me... ughhhhhhh.
well anyhow-- better luck wit your sleep --
and happy monday to ya today-
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