mornin folks--
what's goin on in your worlds ?? i have been tryin to keep up-- not doin a very good job-- but i've tried.
seems i have been tryin to keep up here too-- and haven't really done a very good job here either.
at least not as far as the type of posts i like to write. as far as it goes for "me".. if i write what i can, whether it's positive - or negative-- it seems to allow me to see how i am really feeling, and what i need to do about it. but at the same time, if i see a pattern of negativity-- aside from feeling bad for it-- for ya'll-- i also am able to see where i need to change things ; within myself -- or ,my surroundings. ya know. so either way-- if i'm a crybaby-- or a nutcase-- if it's in writing.. rather than wrapped around my already incoherent thoughts... it makes it easier for me to put things together if i see it in writing-- outside of myself.
does that make any sense at all to you??? sometimes i wonder if i am the only one who understands me. then again, once in a while, someone gets it.
so anyhow-- this passed few days--- more likely-- passed few weeks -- i really have been an emotional , and mental -- oh hell -- let's throw in physical -- train wreck. i know a lot of you have seen that. yesterday i think it all came to a head. i guess i would say i "hit bottom".
i got to the point where i had NOWHERE left to turn, but to God. and ya know-- to be honest-- me and God haven't had a talk in quite some time. i'm not sure he liked what i had to say to Him ... but i think he understood, and even though i thought He was gonna be quite angry with me... i don't think He was.
because.... the day turned out to end on a fairly good note. for what seems to be a first-- in quite some time. i won't say perfect. but i will say better than most in recent passed.
such as-- the neuro appointment-- i actually ended up with a diagnosis for my neck pain. this has been going on since like last October. at least the severe pain has. i do have fybromyalgia-- so i have had pain there for years.. but last october , i backed into a concrete pole base in a parking lot-- and afterwards, i began to have many new symptoms , of pain etc, in my neck, back, legs, etc. even my eyes. since then, i had seen several docs.. from pain management - to neuro- to - you name it-- then after i had the seizure-- i saw this neuro doc-- who is actually turning out to be the most thorough understanding doc that i have seen in YEARS.
soooo.... what he found on my last exam-- yes-- a real physical exam, that he did last time.. the first doc to actually touch my back or neck in years-- (rather than tell me it's all in my head, and to se a counselor!) UGH... he went over all of it-- and told ,me i have what's called cervical dystonia. (i think). i may have mentioned i would be getting botox injections soon for pain.. but i really wasn't sure what for-- well , that's what for. a real friggin diagnosis... not stress.. not in my head... just as i have been telling these motherfuckin people for what seems like years!
AND he has also had no problem giving me real live pain meds-- rather than telling me to take tylnol--or asperin-- already knowing that aspirin can friggin kill me! (cuz it can cause my ulcers to bleed-- bad, )
anyhow-- that was good.... for me.. and i will say it relieved a lot of stress and depression for me. although a lot of my depression is about some other things that are going on.. the pain really doesn't help-- such as the neck and shoulder pain, and near daily headaches/migraines etc.. which the botox should help. that hope is really something to hold onto ya know. daily pain really can depress a person, and almost make a person nutty. not to mention when so much else is goin on.
so anyhow-- to change the subject-- that i am really gettin lost in anyhow-- you know that happens-- sorry-- senile
soulkid took her test yesterday to see if she can get out of summer school-- i really hope she passed. she said she felt she did. say a prayer peeps. i thought the test was today-- it was yesterday. i can't keep a damn thing straight ya know. but ya-- i'll know by 10 am today... and i shall let ya know. i think i feel pretty confident-- i hope i hope i hope she did it!!!
i do have an appointment today-- at 1030-- the one i thought was the other day-- geesh. this is with a calendar people. wth??? maybe someday i'll get it together. at least i can hope so. right?
well.. it's time to wake my child--- and get started on my day-- i spose i shall do some cruisin around when i get back from z doctah.
happy FRIDAY peoples!!!!
14 comments:
good going...sometimes just the unknown...or what people are telling that really isn't true can be worse than actually finding a cause for a problem and/or for pain. i'm glad you finally found a doctor who actually bothered to really check you out..come up with a diagnosis and give you something for it....it isn't much...but it does wonders for the mind eh? good luck to soulkid..."no more summer school" yeay!
A real doctor. what a concept! They are as rare as frekin Peter Pan!
I hope we all find us one. :)
Hope soulkid is out of summer school! when are ya'll taking yer vacation? are you going to Pensicola??
I updated:)
happy friday!
Love me
I'm so glad to hear you got A diagnosis!!! And from a REAL doctor. One that you like. I knew there HAD to be some answers for you. It seems like it was just a matter of finding a dr who cared enough to find them. I can only imagine how good it makes you feel just to have someone validate what you already knew.
GAWD it's difficult to go through the process of finding answers and getting help. Sometimes it feels like the process itself is gonna kill ya! But you persevered and got yourself a diagnosis!!!! Good for you kiddo!
I'm keeping my fingers crossed for soulkid and hoping the vacation planning is happening and includes the panhandle of Floreeduh. Hummmm...... Maybe I should post some pics from the beach to help facilitate that.
I knew that someday you would find a dr that actually deserved the title and seriously, it's about time. I am happy that he has a plan, and I honestly hope it works great for you.
I am smiling because you feel better. :)
xo
:)
A thorough checkup is good. Good Luck. I really hope this will better your health and sleep.
Have a Great Weekend!
I DO get the concept of writing to help you focus on sorting out whatever. It helped me get past a lot of very bad days - that and prayer. I still have a letter I wrote to God. In a good way he really did answer.
I'm so glad you finally have a doctor who will listen to you, do a real examination, and prescribe meds to help you be more comfortable. A doctor who will talk TO you not AT you goes a long way.
Fingers crossed and prayer said that summer school is over. Let vacation begin.
I am glad that you saw a doctor who not only listened yet checked things out too. I really believe that God wants us to say whatever is in our hearts and minds and He knows it already anyway. It is hard for me to give things to Him when I am angry or sad BUT it has improved my life so much. I hope that you have a good weekend.
I'm sorry you've been having a hard time, Soul. I hate when docs act like you're nutty just because they don't happen to have a diagnosis! Have a great weekend and look forward to lunch next week! :)
Good news on the diagnosis front, despite it comes a bit late, but late is better than never.
Take it easy Soul, don't blame yourself for not able to keep up the schedule, the world still turns if we miss a date or two.
Take it easy, and take care.
No matter how bad we think our relationship is with God, in all honesty, He is just waiting there like a parent, waiting for us to come to Him with our burdens. I'm sure He was excited to hear from you Soul, and would love to help you.
I'm so very happy you have a diagnosis, seems like a simple thing and yet so very hard for doctors to come up with. I know that for a fact as I still don't have one for my back.
Praying for you and Soulkid!
Thank God you got a diagnosis, and a good doctor.
Fibromyglasia (or however you spell it) is pretty serious, isn't it?? Well, at least it shows them that it's not in your head, right????
I have been going thru some stuff lately, too. My neuro was a complete jerk at my last appointment, but at least I think we're on our way to a diagnosis.
He's sending me to yet another doctor (ENT)...think it might be Miniere's Disease.
Anyway, hope you are doing well otherwise and are able to get in lots of fishing!!
Fantastic news about a diagnosis and a prescription to treat your pain. You'll be able to keep this doctor, I hope? The good ones are hard to find. Mine left her practice to go 'boutique' ($1,700 per year for the privilege of seeing her) and I miss her. It is depressing not knowing what's wrong when you know it's something real. What happens to me is they never find anything, then the pain goes away on it's own. Then I feel foolish. But it's real when it's there.
Hope your day is a good one. It's Saturday now.
See we're on the same wavelength again Soul. We both got good news of sorts from our neurologists.
I hate it when Doctors even look at you like you're making stuff up or like you're a Hypochondriac or something but to say it out loud is totally unforgivable. Thank goodness this guy not only believed you but cared enough to thoroughly explore all the possibilities. At least you know what you're dealing with now and that has to relieve some of the stress of the unknown.
I'm really happy for you Soul.
That's a relief about finding a doctor who cares AND listens. It's criminal how hard that can be. I hope the botox works wonders:):)
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