where does the time go

hi everybody--


(during my - posted - proofread - i noticed a few typos- double words-- i don't know why i do that sometimes..write a word twice, back to back.. but i'm not huntin through here to fix it, i think y'all can figure it out, but sorry bout that. i do know how to write-- just not at 4 a.m. maybe?)
ok.. back to your regularly programmed post-- :)) )---


thanks for keepin up with me.. you know, i'm behind again. i tried my hardest to keep ya updated on the trip with jamie, and the happenins there.. but of course my replies and cruisin around is a few days behind again. i hate it when that happens.
doesn't mean i don't want to hit everyones pages two or three times a day again.. just means i can't quite get there lately. in a way , it's a good thing. it sorta means, i have a lot of peeps.. and .. a bit of a life.. these days.. that's good right? but on the other hand... i feel bad, cuz i really do like to touch base base with each of you personally. i don't like to miss anyone for any reason. and i know so many of you aren't used to me doin that. so i am sorry.
but i think.. or at least hope ya understand, things are changin, and happenin, out here. it seems, that if it aint one thing, it's another. and unfortunately, the blog thing, is the one thing that seems to be the thing that gets pushed to the side the easiest. not that i "like that"

which reminds me... i thought today was gonna be my "free day".. NOT. aside from a damn dr appointment i was gonna have to make -- due to the dr i saw yesterday being FAR FROM USELESS.

today, i had planned on basically sitting home on my ass.. paying bills, recovering.. and catching up with everyone. seein as traveling really does kick my ass.. and the fact that sleeping well lately hasn't been much of a success for the past several days has me feeling pretty run down.
BUT NOOOOO. will it work that way? oh hell no. a couple months ago, i had hired a lady to come in every two weeks to do my "strenuous-too physical -for me- cleaning/scrubbing type stuff." and guess when she is due to come... yup, you guessed it-- today! what time is she due? 8 a.m. SHIT. (i forgot too ) and of course, most of you know, i am the type of person who "cleans, before the maid comes".
all she does, is the high stuff that i can't stretch for, and she scrubs the showers, toilets, and floors. stuff i can't get on my knees and stretch forward for. my back just can't take that shit. she usually does a good job. but the last few times, i had noticed her work slacking, even tho i have been paying her extra cuz we have a big house, and she doesn't charge very much. so, i meant to call and "fire her".. but the trip to visit jamie-- kinda threw me off, and made me senile-- and i forgot to call... oops. so now she's coming today. and i have to clean before she comes. i don't have it in me.
i already canceled her the passed two weeks. she usually comes every two weeks. she doesn't even do dishes or laundry-- and those are the things i hate to do the most. why have her. right?
hmmm... so. i'm sittin here thinkin... i'm flippin tired. i don't feel like doin a damn thing but doin the smoke and choke until i can't breathe or float away-- whichever comes first first. and after that-- tryin to get to the doctor--- to find out why my side feels like i have a sword .. and a friggin grapefruit in it.
i do believe that i am in a pretty crabby ass mood at the moment.
it seems that not much is in my favor right now.
should i go buy a scratch off ticket? lol.
oh ya right.
i don't even wanna get up to go re-fill my coffee ! like i'm gonna go to the store. but yes, you know i will go get coffee. i must have coffee.
perhaps i will have an epiphany to all these problems as i pour my lifeline into my gullet.?
hmm, nuthin so far, but i only poured it into my cup so far. :))

alrightee then.

i guess i will go for now, and try to catch up on what i can, while still sittin on my buttocks. i spent money like had it on the road trip. :)). now i need to find out if i did any damage. i think i'm still ok.. that's what the fantastic plastic plastic is for right? no? oh shit. :)) oh well. it was worth it. maybe i'll go to vegas! hahahahahaha. not really.

i don't know. i do need to see if i can get a hold of my cleaning ladies' interpreter ..LOL.. before it's too later , for HER, to get a hold of the cleaning lady-- to tell HER.. NOT to come today. before it's too late. i just need to decide if i really don't want her to EVER come back.. or if i just want to postpone her another week or two. i actually did fairly well this last couple weeks i put her off... cept for the stuff i actually hired her for-- like the scrubbing, and reaching. dammit.
i hate physical limitations. i really do. but i also hate "schedules". this always seems to sneak up on me. i wish she would call me a day or two in advance instead of showin up at the door when i sometimes don't expect her. (my senile ya know.) i usually forget til the day before--or once-- i totally forgot til she showed up at the door-- that really sucked! i was sooo NOT ready that day.
at least, if she did "just show up today, she could actually work.. i just wouldn't want her to. laundry on the couch.... "clean" phew.. dishes on the counter.. soulkids cpu desk is of course a disaster.. you get the idea-- more clutter than crap-- but still. time is money.

ok.. i'm outta heah.

eventually, life will smooth out , and i will get back on track. i'm really not ignoring anyone-- just trying to get back where i belong.

i still love ya , :))