just call me sassy pants soul -- hold the applause please :))

my pal Val, bestowed this award upon me . y'all know i call her Charlotte. always have. just somethin i thought suited her. so, that's how nick-names are born. so yeh. she awarded me this sweet little badge to place on my braggin board, and i will do just that. she also had a very kind sentiment towards me to go along with it. i appreciate her sweet words. (just so ya know C)




the rules that accompany this sweet little award:

yes, this one here. well, up there.
isn't it CUTE?

so-- to move things along here --- the dreaded "rules"

First, you post about your award, advising who gave it to you and create a link back to their blog.

Then you list five things that make you happy.

Last, pass along this award to five bloggers who make you smile.

Five (more) things that make me happy:

1 -fishin -- better yet? catchin a big ole fatass bass :))
2 -bein on and or fishin on the boat
3 - sunshine, sunshine, and more sunshine
4- my VANS with NO socks :)) you know you love my vans - admit it
5 - all of YOU - each one of you has your own place in my heart -- like it or not

my five bloggers who get this award? hmmmmmm.
geesh -- i really hate this part. besides, "C" - Val, already picked 5 and a few of them i woulda picked.

so- i shall go with:

Mary - at Pathways
Erin - at Life Unscripted
Kelly - at The Moohaa
Raine - at Aftermath
Summer - at Slap the Goat

enjoy it folks -- you are in my circle of friends -- and i hope you are happy to be there.

now y'all, really -- ya gotta hold off on the awards. i do love and appreciate them.. but this could go to my head really fast. a virtual hug is just as good. or a mere comment here or there. but i do thank you for the awards .. i can't be spoiled like this tho--
:))

so - to move on for a second - cuz i have to get ready for the HVAC dude to replace our T-stats .

i have to give Donna TX some props on a couple of her photos she posted on her blog a few (couple weeks ago.) they are way too awesome to not share with folks who may not go to her page. they are shots she took during her pre-wedding shoot for her daughters upcoming wedding. and personally , i have never seen anything so -- i don't know. i would have a poster of these made if they were mine-- or for sale. how bout y'all? really-- no favoritism... they are just GOOOOOD !
LOOK

these were re-posted here with permission from Donna -
please don't take them without asking. ok?
thanks.

and thanks Donna for lettin me use them.
again- AWESOME JOB!

hope y'all are happy in your worlds today!
me? just a bit senile -- but that's alright :))

well, now that that's outta the way (dot-dot-dot)

yeh. so. how do you do peeps?

it's tuesday. right? already feels like friday. too bad it aint. ugh. i amm all kindsa thrown off from the stayin up all night the other day. i was afraid it was gonna happen again last night, but thank goodness, soulman gave me a heads up that he was gonna go to bed early -- well, kinda early -- around 1030. but he told me around 945 -- so i of course downed the beddy bye meds in a hurry -- hoping my mindset wouldn't over rule my fear of bein left "up". so, i took my meds, did some crap online -- ooh and i had a most interestin conversation with brenda and her sister on facebook -- it's up there for the whole world to see if ya wanna scope it out. would you believe that we -- slight possibility- could be related in some distant way? . very strange -- but cool too. lots of first names in common, but last names, not real sure. and yes i know that's where the 'family' part comes in. but it was really a fun conversation.

anyhow-- i may have had a slight outta my head moment goin as the meds were kickin in.. but i enjoyed it . talkin with brenda and her sis. it was both fun and funny. and weather we are blood kin or not-- they adopted me . :))

and i was actually chilled enough afterwards to go to bed-- before soulman :)) and i slept -- and that was good.

although-- the day was quite the bust. as far as my chores etc went. soulman tho-- thank my God for him. i was in a lot of pain yesterday, and even though i had agreed to clean out the fridge-- we both knew my back and legs weren't gonna hold out for that-- at least not yesterday. i told him i would do it today , but we both just knew that it could not wait one more day -- not one more hour. so he did that too ! :))
the kitchen, dishes AND the fridge -- that oh my gawd-- there was nothin in it to specifically identify -- his best guess? a tomato juice spill way in the back. who the hell knew it could smell like a deer carcass? BARF! i really was ready to have him haul the entire thing to the dump and replace it. but now? it's poy-fect. i am gonna get a couple boxes of baking soda-- but really -- smells new in comparison.

y'all are jealous huh? you can't have him though. he is MINE. all mine! bwa hahahahah.

so. what else? yeh my hair. still not done. but it will for sure be done, if not tonight, tomorrow. he is at work today , but off tomorrow, so i will let him pick the day, cuz he was real busy yesterday here, and i know he's busy today. i can wait. but i will show y'all the new- doo. he does a real good job.

OH hell-

i almost forgot-- ya know what? i got another award. i could get all sassy pants if this continues :))
i'm kiddin. but do y'all realize how long it's been since i got an award? now i got two in almost as many days. ha. (i'm blushing.)

but Kristy - at Ramblings of a Mad Woman sent me this award yesterday. we've been readin each other for a while now. but i spose she says i have a "interesting blog ". and i should have the 'sunshine award." y'all know i will not refuse sunshine. EVER!

i like it-- and i like that she thought of me. lil ole soul.
what is goin on lately? i been feelin all invisible for months -
now i get awards out of the blue. hmmm.
that's ok - i'll take em. and THIS one?
i got sun-shine, on a cloud-y day :))

thanks Kristy !

and guess what? ya don't even have to hardly work for this one :))
that's the best part. here are "The rules "

Giving the Sunshine Award out:

1. Put the award on your blog or within your post
2. Pass the award on to "twelve" bloggers -- yeh right. pick a number. :))
3. Link the nominees within your post
4. Let the nominees know they have received this award by commenting on their blog
5. Share the love and link to the person from whom you received this award .
(i already did that part up there.)

as far as passin it out?
anyone that is linked on "places i wander"
over yonder ------->
you get the sunshine award.
it's been a long and yukky winter for everyone.
and we all deserve a little sunshine.
so take it away.
(LYNX- YOU TOO, sorry i don't have you hooked up here yet.)

ok then -- i gotta hit my to do list and my chores and all that fun stuff.

y'all have happy days -- hopefully filled with sunshine ! i haven't been out yet-- but the birds are singin, and i do see sun peekin thru the blinds-- that is a good sign :))

ok i'll go first - where the hizzle is everyone mid day on a monday anyhow?

hiya folks, and folk-ettes -

so. what's up on this fine monday for y'all? must be somethin since no one i know of has posted a thing today. in blogland at least. some haven't posted for a couple days. Brenda at least posted her happy award :))
Donna TX did mention she is extremely busy and will try to get to it next week. her baby is gettin married. isn't that sweet? the pictures i've been seein are awesome. if i can -- or Donna - if you see this -- i need to ask permission to post the ones with the shoes/roses. those are just poster quality- and so unique. beautiful ! i can't get over how awesome they are. and of course your daughter is a lovely bride. as is her dress. all the best -- again - to her and her man - and new life. ( awww , and this is where my heart gets mushy) :))

so. i shall move on to other things. prolly not so bright and shiny. not like that stuff-- or yesterdays post either. maybe that's why i been kinda puttin off writin about all this. but if i keep puttin it off, i'll forget everything. so i might as well get it down. ya think? y'all know i don't really pre- plan or pre-post -- or what some call 'work-on' my posts -- that's i guess how they end up so jumbled up-- long- or nonsical babble - ish. cuz i just sit - write - and hope for the best. sometimes it works, sometimes not. so- let's just go - and see what falls out - k?

i don't know if i should start with a kinda preface, or background or whatever first -- or just jump in feet first - or what. but i do know if i think too much about it -- it won't 'flow'.

so i guess i'll just w-r-i-t-e- ok- ok peeps-- get ready for a ride -- maybe get some coffee--- or whatever it is you do to [prep for 'my' posts :)) i'll wait.

in fact-- i think i'll get a cuppa too -- maybe i'll even pee . maybe you should too -- i think this'll be another long one. (sigh)

---- [ ok , that took longer than i expected .. how bout y'all? i ended up on business calls, and all kindsa other misc business i didn't expect at that moment.] but hey - i'm back.. you didn't even miss me did ya? that would be because online, you have no idea when i'm here, and when i'm not. just like magic :))

so. ready? comfy? lessgo then--

i was about to ask if you remember the other day that i was up all night-- ha!- then i remembered that it was only yesterdays post that even mentioned any of that-- even tho "technically" it was really saturday night. kinda. bleh. this blog stuff can get so confusing sometimes. can't it? or hell. maybe it's just me. regardless. here's where i'm at today -- or at least since my last post. and i really am not sure where to begin.

spose i'll just write and most likely end up jumpin around -- but that's not out of the ordinary -- for me. so i guess y'all can figure it out right? if not -- just say somethin- i'll help ya out with any confusion. ok?

ok-- do i seem nervous? i think i am. i apologize. it's just been a crazy; 'mixed up crazy' - not mental crazy - couple-a days. i'm ok though. not goin off the edge or nuthing. i'm doin alright for the most part. really. thing is. i had a kind of a revelation the other night when i was up all night. no -- not like that. just listen k.
i was just readin online, and cruisin around etc. and of course doin some writin, bloggin, etc. y'all know that much.

something though that a few of you may not know. maybe some had forgotten. but used to know. but this past friday, the 19th of march, just happens to be my eldest and first borns, my son, Patrick-- it was his 'death anniversary'. #21. for those who don't know, he died at 4.5 months old. he was an awesome baby. chunky, happy, advanced-- of course.. but unfortunately , he wasn't in perfect health. i did the best i knew how -- he visited dr's frequently, but they were military dr.s - and they thought i had no idea what i was talking about when i suggested my instincts were that he might have asthma. yep -- flat out blew me of. sent me home with dx -- ear infection. cold. respiratory infection. everything under the sun-- except asthma.
even tho- on more than one occasion i all but begged for them to test him for asthma-- they refused.
(i have never been medically stupid) for some reason, i kinda have at least some idea of some things medical-- even before i began researching my own mystery illnesses. so. long story short-- when he died-- and the way he died, and after all i went through- and what the so called doctors (yeh, my ass) told me, or refused to tell me... my thought was 'sudden infant death syndrome- "sids") for sooooo many years that was all i could say or accept -- because i knew that if i were smarter, or stronger-- or would have asked more questions- pushed harder- took him to an outside doc -- i just was dieing from the GUILT. i just felt i coulda/ shoulda/ what if i would have done something different -- something more -- just one of the many things i 'thought of or wanted to do---he may have lived.
the coroner report said he died of asthma. there was no sids about it. but up until maybe two years or three years ago-- it finally came to me that if i didn't accept the truth of how he died-- i may never heal of his, or the second loss. the one i have never come a bit closer to healing of.
yes, we lost another baby -- jacob- many years after him.
i can't force myself to write 'his' story right now-- many of y'all know it- some don't but you'll hear it another time. but this one is patricks. if i couldn't face the truth about his loss - and my part -- even though i honestly knew NO better than what my single mother,working all the time, ignorant young mind did not know- i could have had more options. IF only. i finally stopped saying he died from sids. i accepted that he died from asthma. i accepted that IF i knew more-- if someone told me more-- maybe- just maybe things would have been different. but it's not. things are the way they are- they were the way they were. i can't change any of it. it just is. and it always will be , the way it is, and was. none of it will ever change.

so in case anyone was wondering why touching that baby/infant at the yard sale the other day? this is a big- huge part of why. because like 8 years after patrick died , we lost jacob--- and i hadn't touched a baby ever since ! i don't even LOOK at baby's -- if at all possible-- i don't even Listen to them. i'm still scared. but that was a big step for me. i don't know if y'all understand . but it really was/and is, a big deal for me.

(also for those who may not know -- Patrick came and went more than two years before i met soulman, but he has always been more understanding of Patrick , than i think any other man would or could ever be.)

so. ok, now that we see that i apparently did end up feeling the need to preface this a little. ok a lot. let's go back to the other night-- the night i couldn't sleep. and my so -called revelation. of sorts. you know about Patrick. (i didn't mention one prolly very important part of that. i was asleep when he died. right next to him, and i didn't hear a thing. my sister and her boys were there too- all in different rooms.. no one else heard anything either.) more guilt. he was less than one foot away from me-- i 'shoulda heard something.. i didn't)

So -- it may not sound like much -- but when i was up the other night- of course this and a lot more began finding it's way into my thoughts. also- the fact that - most of the nights that i can't sleep , are nights that i am the 'last one up'. no matter where i am. i began to back track... i came to a few points of main interest -- number one being when the long term insomnia began. that was immediately after losing Jacob.
soulman was on active duty in the NAVY. he had to be at work at like 4 maybe 5 a.m. so he would come home tired -- not to mention that he too was grieving the baby. he would eat dinner- clean himself up- and go to bed early- maybe between 8 - 9 p.m. soulkid was two at that time- so she too was asleep asleep early. so guess what -- i NEVER slept.

after i realized that much-- i went further back -- found myself in my navy days-- on weekends- we would get motels - so we could have parties and not worry about getting in big trouble bein on base. underage drinkin etc. a lot of times - i would try to drink enough fast enough to not be the last one asleep-- but the times that i was? nope-- i'd stay up.

so-- what i do ? yep--- tried to go further back-- it's like that as far back as my mind will take me--- all the way back to when i was a young kid. my mother was all but absent -- my brother-- although he was six years older-- he didn't make me feel safe-- he had severe epilepsy, and was 'borderline retarded.' i was the one to take care of HIM, as far as i can remember. my sister-- she took care of me alright -- til i was maybe ten or so-- then she began plottin her escape from the hell we were in. i took on the mother role. by the time sis returned-- she had a family -- well, a husband and a first baby on the way -- every time i ever saw her after that-- it was always temporary -- and i never knew when or if she would leave. i never knew if it would be in the middle of the night-- so she wouldn't have to face the wrath of our mother ... i never 'knew anything'.

so-- when soulman woke up in the morning- i guess sunday morning-- at around 7 am.. i had written him a short email- of ust the main deets -- ya know i can't be the last one up-- it's always been this way- but got terribly worse after jacob. don't worry i'll talk to my shrink-- this is really too big for either of US to deal with.

well, he usually isn't ready or willing to talk about much if anything first thing in the morning-- he takes quite a while to 'wake up'. but he was really interested and it all made sense to him. and it clicked with him. i mean hey, we've lived together for almost 18 years. he knows me better than anyone on this planet. i didn't even live with my own mother that long. and he got it-- even more clearly than i did.
some of you know that i have called myself 'the protector' at times. right? well, that is not only a role i have taken, but a role i was actually forced to take - and from a very early age. i won't go into detail. but there are many reasons, many circumstances that hurled me into that role. i still fill that role. even tho i am no where near who i was at one time... as much as i can... i fill that position in as many situations as possible. especially when family or friends are involve. me? not so much-- but yeh-- there too.

so-- i went to my shrink appointment this morning. and i explain this to her.
how it just 'came to me'. (yeh i did just see her like a month ago-- but we both decided it might be a good idea to see how i was doin around this time-- the death anniversary , ya know. and like i said-- not too shabby.)

but her take on it? like me and hubby-- makes sense. makes a lot of sense. i may be onto somethin, and it may be the right time to 'work on this stuff'. including the babies. i have never 'clicked ' well with a therapist. it ends up bein a hate you and i wont work with you thing-- usually when they tell me all my problems are diet and exercise related. nuthin makes me more angry than that.
either that- or we end up clickin too well, and become friends and BS for an hour a week or something.
for years i have flat out refused a therapist and the shrink i work with- kinda does a little of both-- talks a bit and does my meds. works out ok. i'm usually pretty honest with her. sometimes i have to try to keep secrets if i think i can survive without hospitalization-- i do have a family-- but so far-- if i do feel like i need to go in-- i have let her know-- and she takes care of me.

so today when we talked-- and due to the time of year etc.. and maybe the place where i'm at-- ya know... maybe a place where i may be able to finally make sort of breakthrough into what has been blocking me for all these years. shutting me into myself and away from people and not bein able to sleep , and alot of stuff... i mean a whole lot of stuff that makes me a stranger to even myself---- we talked about maybe me doin an outpatient thing for a couple weeks. and also that i look into an EMDR thing. that, i need to look into. i don't remember much of what it's about-- it was offered to me a couple times over the years - but not in at least , hell maybe 8 or so. i need to look it up again. but i think it's like a regression type thing. hmmm. interesting.
not sure when outpatient will start-- i gotta get my kid in school- and go thru my insurance first - all that hooplah.
and as for the EMDR -- i don't even know if my insurance covers it or if i'm eligible-- that's gonna take time and research.

but other than all that? not much else to say right now--

cept i slept most of yesterday aaal the way away.
someone needs to call the coroner to check my fridge-- my hair isn't done yet-- kinda difficult when you're asleep.
i have mucho bills and misc business to take care of
i MUST wash my laundry today.

i'll never get everything done today-- well maybe if i pull an all nighter-- but seriously-- i'm still sufferin for that

love you guys

we got sunshine and NO snow-- how bout y'all??

look y'all i reckon i'm happier than i thought i am

howdy folks -- happy midnight to ya-

brenda put the power of suggestion into my head to have some late night coffee , so here i am.. and not only that, since the first cup was the last sludge left in the pot from this morning? i just started a fresh pot, so i could have another cuppa. you do know what this means don't you? yup. it's all over but the cryin now.
you know i'm just teasin and tryin to blame brenda, right? i had been tryin to talk myself out of drinkin coffee already for an hour or two before i saw her mention it on face book. but really, once i saw it--- i was done for. i had a headache anyhow-- and knew it might help-- so i kinda virtually joined her in cuppa. why not right?
it was only a few minutes later when soulman came out from the bedroom, to see if i had fallen asleep on the couch. again. geesh. poor guy worries too much. i did however fall asleep out here one night last week, and pinched a nerve in my neck . man that was no fun at all. it hurt for several days ; my neck and shoulder. we have a theater seating type of couch - so i was not lying down.. it was more like bein all cockeyed and layed over half sideways in a recliner . sorta more-like. owwwch.
so he worries. he also worries that i will - might- could- fall asleep smokin -- sleep bloggin. it wouldn't be a first -- we all know this right? well mostly all. ugh. luckily it's been a while. i am becoming a more responsible smoker-- but hey it could happen.
so. unfortunately, i cost the man some sleep sometimes. i feel bad for that -- alot of the time. usually -- i am the first in the house to go to bed - and or, be asleep. we all like it that way i think-- everyone feels a bit safer that way. at least for me. they know i aint gonna eat- sleep- smoke - or drive-- under the influence of my sleepy meds. i have yet to attempt to go outside -- or drive -- but the blogging, sleep eating, and sleep smoking has happened in the past - and sometimes potentially dangerous things have occurred . ugh. yes really. we make fun sometimes-- but really - it's not funny. it's seriously dangerous when ya think about it. choking, burning, killing my family or myself. ya know? so yeh. i've gotten better - made some changes. etc.
but now that i think about it? just the other night-- 'somethin musta happened. cuz i know i had my cigs on my bed table when i went to sleep -- but when i woke up? they were in the livin room. and my lighter was still on my bed table. hmmm. i never did ask him. but it looks like soulman ,moved them. apparently for our protection.
that's pretty bad , dontchya think. i'm not a bad person... i just can't control myself when i'm asleep.


so anyways - guess what?

Mary from 'Pathways' sent this award to me. Thank you for thinking of me LBF.




i never pre-posted before, and lately i have been sleepin late -- til maybe 9 A.M -- not that i'm complainin, but most folks come around earlier than that lookin for somethin new to read with their coffee, and if i got nuthin, no one talks to me :(( so i figured i'd give this pre-post thing a try, and see how it goes. maybe until the late sleepin thing wears off and i wake up at 3 A.M. again , i may do it this way on occasion. just for y'all .
of course every post won't be self indulgent crap. not that i think this award is crap. i appreciate the thought behind it -- and i appreciate the friend who gave it to me. she is a real friend too-- just so ya know-- not just a blog pal. obviously.. or i wouldn't have done the meme, or the post. right? mary is my LBF. you don't know what that means - but that's alright-- i like it that way sometimes.. i have different 'names' for many of my friends - and that's what makes them special. well, you know what i mean. not the name- but the meaning behind it/them.

so, yes. that is right. and true. so yeh. i spose i should shut up and move on right about now don't you?

alrighty then...

[ *side note , before goin forward -- obviously, i had an operator malfunction and couldn't figure out how to pre-post this thing-- so here it is -- for you to read, whenever you want to. IF you want to :)) ]

Here are the rules for this award: [don't look at me that way, i didn't make em up :))]

1. When you receive this award you must thank the person that awarded you in a new post.

2. Name 10 things that make you happy.

3. Pass this award to other bloggers who make you happy. - (it's sposed to be ten- i aint even tryin for ten-- i'll do four - y'all do what ya want, but do play, o k ? )


TEN THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY


1. y'all know the soul-clan, and soul-pets are number one in soul-land to make me happy.

2. i'm beginning to get some semblence of a life -- i kinda like that. and now with the warmer weather comin = more fishin and more movin around/exercise and all around just feelin better. even the thought makes me happy.


3. there is a real live vacation in the works around here. the soul-clan and i will be goin to TN in June to meet with a long time - but never met face to face yet friend and her family. (Prudence) - there will be a redneck BBQ to end all redneck BBQ's !! and boating, and fishin, swimmin, and all kinds of other stuff. literally a trip that has been talked about for 'years'. it is now gonna happen! and we're all happy about that!
even the men-folk :))

4. listening to soulkid laugh ! for 16 years it has been my favorite sound in the world. i will never ever get tired of it. and it will always be my happy sound.


5. comments from my friends on my blog or facebook -- as y'all know - they do all live in my computer :))


6. i'm beginning to learn that i don't mind 'people' as much as i thought. i actually 'visited' with my neighbors last weekend - they were havin a yardsale - how could i not scope it out. later i took the $10.00 over- they were done and inside. with a BABY/ a INFANT - (and i touched him! TWICE) there were 5 or 6 ladies - ages 20 to 50.. and they were all laughin and cacklin... and one told me they had already nicknamed me --- Herman. "Herman the hermit " !!! i told them i like 'Soul" :)) but they could go with that if they wanted to. yes i told them my real name too-- i don't think herman is acceptable-- for any of us.
they invited me over for another time (any time) -- i told them ok-- then i let them know-- "i'll never come over here-- i have coffee every morning tho-- feel free" . so we shall see :))
it was a good time-- both times.

(catching my breath)

7. good, solid, painless, sleep - that makes me happy.


8.warm days that i feel GOOD all over, are happy days.


9. days when my whole family is happy at the same time, make me happy.


10. did i mention-- fishing makes me happy -- friends and family make me happy -- writing makes me happy - and i reckon feeling like i belong 'somewhere' in this world makes me happy.

i told ya -- i'm easy to please. i don't think - in retrospect, that anything i mentioned up there costs a dime.

so. i thank you folks for puttin up with me -- i know it aint easy sometimes. :))
"just love me" :))

I'm passing on the award to the following:

they shall be--

donna -TX- http://donna-madeinheaven.blogspot.com/
debbie - http://gittinitouttamyhead.blogspot.com/
donna -TN - http://cottagedays.blogspot.com/
brenda - http://whatsupdownsouth.blogspot.com/

and hey-- guess what else? it's a lot later now than it was when i posted that -- but in the meantime i been just cruisin around the net messin around, goin to new and different places , wherever my fat little snauseges took me--- and just guess where i landed a minute ago?

it's almost funny -- cuz it has to do with both themes of the day here on my blog-- go figure huh? things just happen that way sometimes around here.

anyhow go check out this link -- and participate if ya want -- i'm seriously thinkin about it. course, i'm half asleep at the moment-- i really should consider headin on to bed about now. i really don't wanna fall asleep in this chair again.
soulman is gonna do my hi-lites in my hair tomorrow, and if i have a pinched nerve in my neck, that won't be real comfortable, or maybe even possible. so yeh, i better start windin down here.
so yeh-- check this place out and see if it's somethin ya might wanna do -- if you like photos and you like happy -- you should like THIS TOO

( oh and btw -- it is sponsored by Frito Lay just so ya know)

anyhow-- on that happy note-- ha - happy - again. i am gonna go to bed. sooner or later.

--- * ha! so much for that idea-- it's later-- much later (3:59 A.m. - i'm STILL up)
still messin around.. still have a headache- still drinkin coffee. beginning to feel like my to do list i worked on earlier was all for naught-- due to the fact that i'll be lucky to last thru the hi- lites -- if that. and i really hope to get at least that far. but really THE most important on my list is to find whatever it is that died in my refrigigerator , dispose of it and disinfect every inch of that damn thing-- or simply replace it. cuz every time i put my face in there over the last few days? i could vomit , and refuse to eat out of it-- cept for the fresh groceries the fam got today, and soulkid cooked. that was yummy.

so anyhow-- i just wanted to show y'all another 'happy' i came across. it's a re-run for some, but new to many -- a video i posted a couple years ago. stuf that makes me smile . for some reason the music got pretty choppy in areas -- maybe from age? hellifiknow. but it's still fun to watch. hope you like it-

funny soul from soulmange on Vimeo.

g'nite peoples. or well, more like guten morgen for most :))

photo challenge -- ok i lost a bet - by like three minutes :((

they are late-- again --but hey, here they are -- the only fruit i have on hand -- hubby threw out the rotten bananas i planned to use :)) bummer anyways you win Donna TX -- i forgot the stakes-- what do i owe ya?

subject ?
'Macro-Fruit'

happy days everybody -- i'm goin to have a look at your pix now---

wrappin up the deets on the mommy daughter get-a-way - umm, yeh

happy friday peeples ! :))

i'm writing from my -- yes MY - couch at HOME right now. i likeeeee. i love home. but y'all know that by now, i'm sure. i am definitely a person who shouldn't 'fly by the seat of my pants' any- more. it used to be my style. my way of doin things. spontaneity was part of my character. part of what made me the crazy person that i am. that would fun crazy -- not mental crazy. just so ya know. i know- it's difficult to distinguish the two sometimes, isn't it? but hey at least THAT much makes me fun. at times. or moments. :)) intervals?

alright -- mooovin on with things. yes. i am home. and i love it. i slept in my own bugless house, in my own bugless bed -- without feeling the need to have my - car knife- next to me. i was home, i was comfy, i was safe, and i was with my soulman.
best night i've had in days.

soulkid - on the other hand, stayed the night with her gal pals, and swam in their pool. and whatever else they do over there. i don't worry as much as i used to about what goes on over there-- they've all three cleaned up their act a LOT. they are growin up-- and doin a fine job. none like any of the consequences they've paid this past year. so lately-- i trust them more. that word -- where they are concerned - had all but left my vocabulary for quite some time. but it's all good. for now.

so anyhow-- yes. home. my man, my dogs, my cats. my safety zone. for agoraphobic me? that is exactly where i belong. and i am happpppppy to be here.

so anyways-- i think there are a few things i didn't have time to write about in here on the mornin we left hotel on day 3. -- please excuse the many many typos in that post-- obviously i was poundin that out so we could get out of there on time) now there's no reason to correct it since almost everyone has read it. typos get easy to read after a while - don't ya think? i'm pretty good at it anyhow.

so-- here are a few things i forgot to include in thursday mornings post--- if you haven't read it yet-- go read it first -- then place the photos where they go in your mind-- i'm sure you can do it-- very kindergarten . then come read this part and it should all fit into one 'fluid' -- or not-- story.

so-- here's how i'll make it a bit easier -- anywhere that i am elaborating on something-- after i post this-- i will go to the other post and put a * by the part to refer to -- k?

aiiiighty then--

for the first *1 - added info -- the first part to this is on thursday part 1.

***#3 out of order-- entered late-- forgot to say this--night one- austin :

so yeh... i think i mentioned everything worth sayin about the first day/night and the hotel stuff. goin shoppin and all that. BUT what i failed to mention earlier? was the part about our return to the hotel -- from shopping and dinner --- it's cuz i am me-- and we will just leave it at that k?
but here is what happened.
without thinkin that there might-- just possible be, more than one of the hotels we were at in this town... we headed out-- without me thinkin-- or even considering any of this-- or writing the address- or noting the location or even landmarks near the hotel, oh yes i did :((
SO-- to make a long story short as i can---- we were on our way back to the room, when it occurred to me.... i had NO clue where our hotel was !!!!! yes, i am totally serious. i attempted the GPS -- only to realize -- there were 5 or 6 of these hotels -- within a nine mile area. OMG -- it was dark, traffic was heavy, i was in terrible pain, and exhausted. soulkid tried to calm me-- but of course i was angry-- and yep-- a little scared. i really shoulda thought to write the address - or something down... right? duh. bren-duh. holy shit- i cannot explain in the english language the many feelings and thoughts running through my mind.
obviously tho-- after an entire HOUR -- no, i am not exaggerating-- we found our hotel -- after hittin two that were not ours.

i will never fly blind again like this. i am way too old for spontaneity -- a lesson learned the extremely hard way. it is no longer fun for me.

it's day/night two-- hotel hell.

it really wasn't all that bad. i guarantee you it coulda been worse -- and i have seen worse. this was ok. but , for starters? i took my 'car knife ' upstairs with me .
( i will put a photo of my knife here later- but for now- i'm still havin my coffee , and i aint gettin up. sorry ) but yeh. i sure did.
i called this place first, from across the highway - the one - that i thought - hell, if i have to walk up stairs, i'm gonna smoke, dammit'

side note-- temple texas is NOT handicap friendly !

so. yeh i left the office and called this place from my car. it didn't look 'that bad -- 300 yards away.--- about three football fields . so i call, and i ask-- do you have a room for 2? ... yes. you don't have bugs , or bad-guys do you? she chuckles, then says no. i asked if she had a smoking room, she said yes.
i find out the room is upstairs with NO elevator-- my legs -- i can't describe the pain... but -- i wasn't gonna drive one more inch to scope out any more hotels without elevators-- that were sure to be filled-- and or-- non smoking. so i took it.
lemmeee tell ya -- that was the roughest stair climb i have endured in ages. my hands were full- i was haulin prolly forty pounds of shit on my back -- yes soulkid had quite the load herself-- she was very helpful. BUT the stairs? OMG... i thought they would kill me-- i had no free hand to hold the rail. falling was the only thing i could think about. soulkid was behind me-- which woulda been doubly bad if i were to fall . ugh. i took each step so slow-- i expected that with every step soulkid would bitch cuz i was slow-- but i think she could see how hard it was for me. i had to lean on the wall for support and my legs were shaking from the pain and weakness.
but hey -- i finally made it to the top-- of what seemed to be mt. everest -- :((
and our room was right there---

BUT-- the door was wiiiiide open !
can we say CREEPY?
but wait-- that's just the beginning.
NEXT-- five minutes-- if that-- after we barely unload our crap-- guess what happens? yeh. yelling, and COPS--- right next door to our room !!!!
OMG!!! it wasn't dark yet --- so i walk out onto the balcony-- there is a lady half inside her room with the door open, talkin with a cop-- she invites him in, he politely declines. i look over the rail to check on my car-- i see the lady who just checked me in. i have my knife in my hand-- yep-- in front of a cop- and the lady next door--- i WANTED it to be seen by anyone who was lookin.

my 'car knife'
AKA my traveling companion :))

i then ask the lady --- smokin next to my car at this time-- right next to the office.
firmly- but not bitchy-- cuz she is the one who told me - no bad guys- remember that? well, i'm like --

'what's this?'
and like no one was there-- i'm sure so i wouldn't leave - she goes ahead and tells me -- long story short-- it's a domestic. lady takes kids- hubby finds her- they fight- police are called. etc.

so -- ok that's cool. we turn on the tv-- after of course vampiring ourselves into out room. tv to drown out the sound of the domestic outside. soulkid and i aren't used to that stuff... we both have our reasons-- but i don't do yelling. i just don't like it.
and in a strange town and strange motel-- even worse.

of course-- upon arrival-- if not after the stair climbing- it was decided- by me-- we were not leaving that room til checkout the next day. there was food delivery available- i could smoke-- there was no other reason to open the door once it was locked-- and we didn't -- only for the foooood.

so yeh-- the other problems were minor in comparison to the bugs the night before-- such as a really cruddy coffee pot-- i couldn't, even after washing it- take more than a sip or two of coffee out of it. and the shower-- let's just say-- i skipped it.
i wouldn't ever stay there again-- but hey- the price is right -- if ya wanna sacrifice the feeling of bein safe and ya like to listen to domestic disputes next door for the first hour after ya get there-- in fact-- i say find a nearby town -- with better , cleaner, safer motels altogether. how's that.
especially if ya have a bad back- or legs- or both. cuz this place -- i do not know why-- has no elevators in their hotels. isn't there a LAW about that? i think there is. really.

ok --- what else?

oh -- *2 -- we didn't stop at all on the way home from temple-- no antiquing , no lunch , no nuthin, just drivin...
only one quick-stop to get -- not starbucks-- cuz i didn't see one. so i stopped up the road for some gross gas station coffee. and during a soulkid third grade flashback-- i grabbed her a 'cosmic brownie'. she was waiting in the car - and, it made us both smile. she had a slight addiction to those when she was 8 or so.

i reckon that's it for any deets i may have missed.

OH wait -- i almost forgot -- my sweet soulkid said THE greatest thing to me the other day. we were in a vintage type of a store-- the clerk was maybe in her early 20's. of course i don't remember what I said-- but i will never ever forget what soulkid said to me. we were lookin around -- i was lookin at old record albums that she might want to put on her bedroom wall.. she mentioned it-- so i was lookin. she was nearby somewhere.... i said-- "something" --- soulkid said --- and i do quote -

"if we were born at the same time you would be my BEST friend!"

my heart melted -- and even the girl behind the counter had to say somethin-- she said --- "awwww, how sweet ! I would never say somethin like that to MY mom"

so- yeh. i have THE most awesome child to walk the earth. she can have her moments-- but don't we all?

so-- here's the albums she chose, out of my pile :))



soulkid slept the entire way home. for the most part.

we were soooo happy to get here.

today looks like an awesome day outside--- and i am --- 'considering goin fishin a little at one of the ponds . thing is.. i just don't know if i am physically able. but then again... a little movement might be good for me.

dr feelgood? paging dr. feelgood.

hope y'all have happy sunny days in your worlds today -- if i get UP -- or not-- it beats the heck outta drivin -- or shoppin. :))

notes from the soul crib - thursday part two - read below post first

ROAD TRIP PIX -- AND SHORT NARRATION
NOW-- I NAP
SEEEE YAAAA -

dining at the MellowMushroom/ on TheDrag

(later, more shopping then back to the 'mystery bug' , non-smoking room)
*3 -- more about 'finding our way back to the room- or not
--i almost-- ok i did-- forget this part-- adding it now--

'good mornin soul"
-DIE BITCHES!-
enter-
the soul-hulk

yeh, only cuz 'gran gran' stepped out :))

- on the road -
day two

obviously, startin out :))

wearin soulkids 'new fedora'
'you look bad-ass'
in the words of my favorite 16 year old :))

- lunch break !
a really cool 'old' restaurant

soulkid had me turn around for this shot-
a donkay :))
he walked all the way across the field to welcome us.

i had to turn around only to identify this hairy ass 'pony'?
i thought it was a buffalo - at 60 MPH.

could it really be him?
Herbie?


my daily intake of smokage
maybe.
actual, gutter on an undisclosed army base.

day three- goin HOME !

soulkids' permanent position
headed home -

"Queen Jitterbug"
oh so happy to see us.

two days on the road - next stop - home :))

hi folks -- yes, there has been a change in plans. today is our last day 'out' , rather than tomorrow. we were 'supposed to have a three day vacation. as y'all know. but, well it just didn't work out that way. i sometimes say that nothing ever goes as planned -- i can't really say that this time-- because - it wasn't really 'planned'. in any regard. we had our first day/night haphazardly 'laid out.' kinda. but planned? that would be a no.

so--we left home tuesday morn,-- already on a rough start -- half way not even ready - and later than 'planned ' :)). we head to 'austin'. no hotel reserved. just shootin in the dark. thinkin - "we'll find a place when we get there" well, ya know what? that isn't a very smart idea -- on the first day of the biggest event in austin texas of every year. yes , the one that "people come from all over the WORLD to be a part of." that is a direct quote from the radio, btw-- not to mention the bumper to bumper, not moving traffic we experienced ourselves. (sigh).

my fist thought when we hit town was.. no way are we gonna find a room here tonight. OMG. i was near panic. my child? her main and first thought-- and words? let's go to 'the drag!!!" she wanted to SHOP.. first thing. without thinking a room might be our first priority, and second? perhaps I might be in severe pain. maybe. yes i was, but i have been trying my best not to be a "debbie downer" about that .
so i had to explain.. in easy terms--
hey, take a look around- see all these cars? they need a place to sleep--- we can't screw around til we have a room. ya think?
hmmm, yeh, i guess.
typical shopaholic. :))

well, i went to one hotel. no luck. booked solid. then another. nope. then another-- i got itchy just thinkin about it -- (slid together cuz i don't wanna be rude to the place - they were nice enough about it --- LaQuintaInn--) well, they did have a room. it of course was - upstairs. non-smoking. and yup, you guessed it - 'jacked up rates for the 'festival'. ugh. the only way it coulda been worse was if they had no rooms at all. but i was grateful for the room so i grabbed it.
ONLY to find after finally kickin off the shoes and kickin back on bed for a while before headin dowtown for a shopping spree on the drag, and another place a few miles from there -- i sooo didn't wanna go- but that was exactly why soulkid chose to go to austin. (sigh , again).

so picture THIS..
there i am. so tired i could go to bed right then. so sore i could shoot myself. i finally have a chance to rest for a little while... what do i see when i reach for my water on the bed table? yup--- BUGS. friggin little tiny bugs. and lots of them. my blind eyes see baby roaches. soulkid tries to soothe my panic by sayin 'mom, they're ants! chill out"
i cannot chill out . they're roaches and i can't get past that thought-- or feeling.
but-- we are gonna leave soon -- and sooner than planned - due to my nausea of 'roaches'.

(insert 'table-bug' photo)

so we do leave and we go shop and eat. it was dark by then - or soon after-- so no pics-- and that is why i wanted to go to the drag-- was for the photo ops-- yep y'all know me. she shops, i take pictures. :))

(enter- MellowMushroom photo)

so- by the time we get back to the room, i'm so exhausted i didn't care about the damn bugs-- although i squished as many as i could. i'm not talkin like hundreds -- i mean three here -- six there -- they'd come around in patches. or maybe troups. so anyhow-- i was able to go to sleep -- soon as i wake up in the morning tho-- in my non smoking room. (erg!) .. i made coffee-- also in the process i get a damn second degree steam burn due to their malfunctioning friggin cheapo pot. i get my coffee, go outside, smoke a ciggie-- come back-- yep - to have my coffee on the bed and then leave that hell hole.

well-- how relaxing-- or reviving -- do ya think sitting next to ten lively roach/ants can be first thing in the morning? yeh. same here. i finally HAD to call the office and say something. i didn't 'expext anything. i just wanted them to KNOW- that this was my 2nd stay in said hotel -- last time being many years ago--- in a totally differnt state- reason i haven't returned? there was a real live nasty roach IN my bed ! i go on to tell her about the 'bugs ' on my table -- and how disgusting they and the entire night and morning had been, also that i will never ever enter this hotel chain again. ever.
she sent pest control immediately-- and offered me a free stay-- at that same hotel. no other option. i said i don't wanna come back. how bout a discount on last night. nope. free stay or nuthing. so of course i took it-- soulkid will never tire of austin. but she can come back with her dad next time. :))

so anyhow day 2? = yesterday.
what did we do ? where did we go? where did we stay?
again. planning is oh so important.
this kinda thing was fun and adventurous when i was 'a kid' i did it and i enjoyed it-- and i also had the option of sleeping at a rest area if i needed to. that isn't an option when ya have a kid. especially one like mine-- and one that i feel so protective of. like mine. it is sooo much added stress to an already stressful situation. which -- y'all know -- was 'supposed to be stress FREE" bleh.

so anyhow-
together - we decided that heading in the direction of home was a good idea. we were running low on funds and her wanting to shop--and shop-- she decided if she sacrificed a hotel night-- it would give her more spending money -- i agreed.
and aside from that? we're just ready to be home. we like home. and i miss my soulman. i grew up like this-- hotel hopping and not knowing where i'd be the next day. and i really don't feel good about it. so we jumped on that train, and headed in the direction of home.

the original plan-- yeh -- i said it-- plan-- being to head to the base near killeem- and see what was there, cuz we haven't been there before. it is much bigger than the one by our place. on the way there - i may have taken a wrong turn or something-- but we found the most beautiful, scenic drive we've been on in a very long time. it was gorgeous. hills, animals, lakes, rivers, streams, awesome homes, ranches etc. we took a few pix, but we weren't in any of em. just animals and stuff.

(insert donkay , hairy 'pony?', and herbie here)

after we shopped on base. (enter cigarette gutter photo here)

we decided to just go home-- but of course my body and eyes couldn't make it--- we made it as far as 'temple tx. ' yeh. i don';t wish this place on anyone.
the first hotel? booked .. except a non smoking upstairs room.. with no elevator.

**1 (see friday)

the next? upstairs, no elevator-- but vacant- close- and i could SMOKE !! i took it.
and it was interesting - to say the least. but there were no bugs ;)) that was a plus. i did however have another coffee pot issue... only God knows the last time the damn thing had been washed. yeh i know - it was a bit - ok a lot disgusting. but y'all know mw.. there is no life before coffee. so i cleaned it up and made some yukky hotel coffee-- drank very little with only the grime on my mind. i'll grab a starbucks when we leave-- which btw-- i hope you appreciate i got a half hour extension on checkout just to talk to yall.

i wanted to put up pix-- but i so don't have time. i gotta get dressed and checked outta heah.

[obviously they are above this post -- :)]

for dinner last night-- we ordered chinese! it was good- but soulkid was in a mood and refused to eat her half of the 30.00 dollar meal. oh well she missed out-- and the leftovers woulda fed three people - on thedrag :))

after i ate -- i was toast-- and passed out after just a little bit of tv.

there's a bit more to say -- but i have to get outta here before they charge me another night-- which btw-- one thing i didn't mind about this place -- it was about a third of the price i paid for the one in austin... but it was about a third of the -- somethin-- too. but like i said-- no bugs-- and we survived -- :))

[ i spose the 'somethin, could be cleanliness? even tho there were mystery bugs in austin.. the room was clean, and sorta comfy-- when ya weren't smooshin ant/roaches.]

* 2 we are gonna antique our way home today.

i shall update with photos and a little more info later-- course the photos are scarce. but good. i think- i haven't seen em yet.

catchya latah folks!

better late than never . right? maybe not.

road trip fail

hi folks .
yep-- i am sposed to be on the road by now. off on my mystery adventure with soulkid. umm, obviously, i am not. or i should say, we are not. yet. several things have interfered with our plans.
senility being 1 of those things.

then; being side-tracked with a separate road-trip i have been planning -
for JUNE , somehow, took precedence of this so much sooner trip.
but i did finally get at least our- me and soulkids- first day and night are worked out.
but we are STILL at home-- and wanted to be on the road by 8 ! uhhhhhhhh.

had to mess with friggin at&t for an hour -- dammit-- all three of our phones are not workin-- the bill is paid-- but i have to leave with no phone service :(( ga-reat !
at least 9-1-1 will work if i need anything like road service- or h-e-l-p. i hope.

so anyhow-- i don't have time to write much else-- i'm not real good with gettin laptops to workin hotels-- but i'll bring it ad try to update and put up photos etc. if y'all don't hear from me-- i can get email on my phone-- the internet works on there-- just not the phone. sigh.

ok-- i am outta heah--

hope to talk with ya soon.. like as in tonight. on here or facebook-- if i can.

if not -- i shall be home friday night.

until then--
ore vois :))

and happy trails :))

take me to the zoo and leave me in the sloth cage

happy saturday folks -

am i late again? if not i feel late. i didn't notice my last post day, but it has to be at least a couple days ago? could be yesterday -- but i don't think so-- cuz yesterday was one of my busiest days in what has to be months. and i'm talkin near non-stop runnin from 830 a.m til after 4 p.m . that's like one of those VA fightin days. remember those? drivin to dallas, usually gettin lost every time, panic attacks, cryin, awful days.
well, yesterday wasn't 'that' bad'. not to that extent at least. it was just physically and mentally draining. and toward the middle? yep-- painful.

i was a smooshed sloth --- :((



in a way -- i was happy that soulkid was with me -- because i had to fill out forms at each stop -- an i could NOT see , to do it ! soulkid had to be my eyes the entire day. really. she had to fill out almost every form..and there were many. all i could do was sign and date them. i hope she didn't mess anything up -- cuz i couldn't even proof read them. i trust her though. anything she wasn't sure about, she asked, before she wrote it down.

oh - sorry-- i didn't even say WTH we were doin yet. how brilliant of me - right?
i'm sure you're wondering why her ass wasn't in school too huh?

well, i'll tell ya. i have to back up a day though.
picture it ... Sicily, 1932 --- oh sorry -- that's the golden girls --
ok off we go ....

Thursday afternoon....
soulkid calls me from the bathroom at school.
yeh i know.
she is hysterical with joy!

MOM, you have to come pick me up- right now! i have to tell you something!
-ummm, NO, i'm not- what's goin on?
you won't believe what just happened.
yeh, maybe not-- WHAT?
i got called down to the counselors office, and they told me that as a transfer student , and because i'm failing too many classes, i have to go back to my other school ! isn't that awesome ?!!!!

(mind you-- she is screeching like a five year old with her panties on fire ! )

(she's also been begging us for weeks to transfer her back to this other school she went to last year-- and even talking about getting a GED- or some other way of some sort of alternative classes to get a diploma -- whatever -- but i have been extremely depressed -- to tears -- about the thought of her not 'graduating' --- because i KNOW she is capable -- and i had always 'seen and expected her to finish school and go on to college) -- i know-- my dream, not hers.

so anyhow-- back to the conversation-----

umm, no 'soulkid' i don't think that's awesome. at all. you just got 'kicked out of school. don't you think that's a little serious?

she didn't care in the least-- this is exactly what she wanted -- since the beginning of the school year-- her boyfriend- and her best friend go to that school. she's dying to go to that school.

so-- i'm feeling deflated-- she's floating on cloud nine-- it's settled that i will not pull her out of school one second early that day-- she goes to class-- and i call the principal to find out WTF is goin on-- and WHY would they talk to a 16 year old BEFORE ME. ugh.
pissed off much?



come to find out -- she wasn't totally thrown out of school-- what she failed to mention to me, was the fact that she was given the opportunity to bring up the grades in the '4' :(( classes that she's failing -- and guys i tell ya -- three of those she should by no means have lower than a C in -- math is her only weak class, it has been for years.
the others she should be doin much better in. it's pure laziness . or perhaps a control issue. i don't know.

anyhow-- once i heard that-- i told him-- she didn't tell me that-- but i know her, and i know that her knowing that it depends on HER bringing up her grades? she won't. she will sit there, and waste everybody's' time, until she gets the final walking papers. and gets her way. (as usual).

he said "you know her better than we do, so is that what you want to do?"
i said-- it's what i have to do. for all of us. i know that's what she will do with her defiant self.

so we went yesterday--- and hell day began. and lasted alll damn day long. i thought i might die. for real.

it didn't start out so bad.

--- OOPS -- first -- we disenrolled her at her school -- (i forgot that part at first )

THEN, we went directly to the school she was to enroll in. we were simply gonna enroll her yesterday, then have her start the day after spring break. that sounds simple enough. right?
ummm, well. NOT.
nothing in my life is ever simple. y'all surely know that much by now right?

ok well, here's how things went down.

she was all but done registering in said school. of course she was thrilled. me not so much. in the back of my mind, i'm still thinkin, my kid just got kicked out of school due to grades. this shouldn't have happened-- and it better never ever happen again. or heads will roll. yes i do think things i dare never say out loud. that's prolly a real good thing. at least i can cage my thoughts-- my mother set them free and really -- i don't think she ever regretted a single awful thing she said. bleh.

anyhow- at literally the last minute-- just as we were going over her new schedule with the counselor --- some other lady came in and said-- we were not supposed to be at 'that' school, but another -- the one that is like a mile from our house.

well, we already knew that. but she attended this school last year-- and the school she was at, had put this school on all her paperwork.. so really it was a lot of wishful thinking and crossed fingers, that she would slip through the cracks and still be able to go to this school, just because she did last year.
-- reason being--- there are a lot of 'bad' people at the school in her district -- and she is basically, 'forbidden by us as parents to attend that school, or hang out with 'those' kids-- for her own safety... and sobriety.

so. that's why yesterday was such a big fiasco. we had to go to her school, the school we 'registered her in', then since she was at the 'wrong school', we had to go to the admin bldg, and talk to the big guy, -- which didn't work out- so we talked with his secretary-- and had to fill out a transfer form online -- then talk to her again... then it-- the request-- now has to go up the 'chain of command' for approval.

but--- since she technically isn't even enrolled in any school at all, at that point-- we had to go enroll her at the school we don't want her to go to--- TWO entire hours there. UGH.

we finally finished and walked out of there at like 4 p.m - after entering our first building of the day at like 8:30. one more errand woulda flat out killed me.



anyhow , before we left , i told them -- actually, more than once, at more than one place, -- i will not send her here / there for even one day-- i don't want to go to jail, but i'm just not gonna do it. -- can this be expedited ?


every person that we talked to-- even at the admin place-- is on our side -- due to the circumstances-- and all of this will be expedited. hopefully it won't take more than the first week after spring break. and i hope she can make up any 'lost time'. because they are gonna approve the transfer to the school she- and we- want her to go to. not that there aren't drugs, and BS at every school, or even every street corner-- it's just that at the one school-- it may as well be in her lap. ya know. and i won't let that happen.

they wouldn't like me when i'm angry :

click it to make it bigger -- it's so great :))

ok peeps -- looks like the child and i have postponed our trip -- leavin tuesday -- know why? cuz i don't really care -- and her boyfriend is off work on monday -- she just has to 'see' him before we leave. sooo-- i get to chill, and skip the weekend traffic, crowds and prices. :)) and let her think it's all for her
bwa hahahahaha

happy weekend folks-

5 minute stone soup -

yep y'all, i am aware that i am a few days behind in posting. sorry. lots been goin on, i think i may be caught up-- well at least a little with myself. i still have a ten mile long list of things i MUST do. without picking and choosing. or procrastinating. it is no longer a to-do list -- it's a have to do list. maybe a do-or-die list. yep. down to the wire list. i'm feelin the pressure now. but hey-- i've been busy. if not busy in the true sense of the word? i been flat out in pain and unable to perform anything above or beyond the bare minimum required of me ... if that.



so. i really gotta pick up the pace around here.
starting with takin the kid to school in like 5 minutes or so... and immediately following that? heading straight to a dr appointment. nothin big. just a pain doc follow up. and med refill. they may throw in a pee test. never know. not ike that worries me any tho. just a bit embarrassing sometimes. seems i'd be used to it. but i just think that's a little personal-- peein in a cup . ya know.

so -- what else? oh -- the update on the police stuff? i did go out and 'claim my crap'
that's about what it was too. my ear rings weren't there for me. it looks like too many people claimed those. or something. i think there were two pair-- but everybody wanted them. told ya they were common. so those happen to be goin to court. along with me, and i have no clue how many other people. i don't know how i'm sposed to prove their mine-- or not-- or how others will -- or not. i have a couple pix of me wearin em. that's the best i can do. maybe other folks won't think to bring a photo?? who knows. not me. and they have no idea when that court day will be.

and about the mystery tv-- i let it be known i didn't claim a tv first thing-- they already knew it was an error-- so i'm happy to be an honest person, and not have gone in there lookin like a dumbass 'tryin' to reclaim a tv -- that they knew already wasn't mine. phew-- i love bein me. re`tard or not (say it like the hangover movie did-- no disrespect to anybody -- that movie was just gooood )

in other news??? hmmm. OH! i'm planning-- or trying to plan.. a mom and daughter mini vacation. just a few days away for spring break. over thanksgiving -- they had a daddy daughter trip to austin. i stayed behind. so it's momy daughter trip time. she wanted to go back to austin again -- :)) thrill me -- i've been like three times, but was still willing to go -- but in my research, there's some huge festival, the hotels are all jacked up like crazy -- all over 120.00 a night, and full. so it looks like austin may be out -- any ideas will be appreciated. sea world has already been decided against-- because of my last whiplash on the roller coaster-- i'm just no fun in theme parks with a kid. so kill me.

so ideas yes throw them out-- minimal driving from DFW-- minimal walking -- and mucho fun factor for the soulkid -- ugh-- there-in lies the problem. young energetic money spending shoppin fool-- and me-- crippled, easily tiring, handicapped, people phobic soul.
wheeeeeeeeee.

haelP ----- she is interested in haunted stuff-- ghost hunting etc-- i found a haunted restaurant on a blog not far from home we may check out.

anyhow-- it is past time to get out of here-- i can't even spell check or edit-- hope you can figure out my chicken scratch --

happy day in your worlds --

i'll be back-

i bring you -- soulkid on film --- happy 16th kiddo

here ya go folks -- someone better like it -- i spent two whole days on these -- well -- here's the long version -- i still have to add music to the short one --

this one is short of 8 minutes long -- but if the photos bore you? i guarantee you'll like the song :)) and i also bet it's been a long time since you've heard it.

and i apologize in advance -- cuz the music runs 20- 30 seconds over the pics -- it's hard to perfect these things. regardless, enjoy --

(btw -- if you pop out the video and watch it 'full screen - the photos look much better - and there's less distraction around it -- just sayin. -- click bottom right icon on video box - press esc to got back to reg size screen )

short version-- FINALLY DONE -- i hope - 3/9
shy of 2.5 minutes

you likee? i DO -- both of em. course , she's mine. :))


i'm blind -- and oh sooooo done.

g'night folks

it'sanuther mughnday folks howdoyoudooo?

(ZERO COMMENTS ? - really? hmmmm. i'm heartbroken. was it really that boring?)

hiya folks---
hope your day is off to a good start-
here? well... if ya count wakin up late-- wakin up to a too sick to go to school soulkid -- yeh, i know :(( -- and remember at the 'last minute' , that today is when i have to be 1.5 hours down the road at the sheriffs office at 10:30 - to claim my stolen property -- doin fine -- well then, i spose i'm off to a fine start. yup. just dandy.

so. i'm tryin to get some coffee in me, then i gotta call the school, and get ready and on the road. soulman is off work today so at least he will be able to drive me out there this time. and yes-- it's still friggin raining. and if i remember correctly -- it was rainin last time i made this trip -- like a month or so ago. ugh. so yeh, glad i don't have to drive.



so-- anyhow- if you're here for the video -- or i should say -- the disaster-- geesh i haven't had this many problems with a video since i first started learnin how to do em. i swear i spent 8 hours on that damn thing yesterday. what a mess. i ended up makin 2 of em. the first one? it ended up bein waaaay too long to hold y'all interest -- i'm sure. maybe not. but i just feel like it's way too long. plus i don't have the music i want on my computer! i thought i could get songs off i-tunes to use-- but if so- i can't figure it out. and if not i have to find my cd's in this hell pit - and upload it -- and if i don't have what i want- and i don't think i do-- i may have to go to the used cd store and buy it -- and then upload it---. same for the second-- yep-- a second, and much shorter version.... same music problem--- but the video is only like 2 minutes long vs... lord-- maybe 15 minutes long. some of y'all may watch both -- family and old timers prolly -- but for the rest of ya-- i'll spare ya the agony and post both -- but obviously -- my morning is booked. so more waiting. i'll get er done-- by dinner. that's like 5-6 p.m round here. tx time.

on that note-- i must get started here-- when i get back from the police place i shall let ya know if my earrings were there.

hmmmm.... not sure why-- but i'm nervous about goin .

and no-- decided against takin the tv-- i know i didn't claim one-- so i aint even gonna consider takin it-- thanks charlotte -- or mary ? :O for lettin me know they auction it and not 'dispose of 'it'. that makes me feel better. we need our roads fixed :))

anyhow--- i'm off -- really -- to start my day--

i shall return...

happy days -- hope you get some sunshine in your worlds today-- we aint. :))

soulkid is a sweet 16 ! or is she? bwa hahaha

( sorry folks , looks like i lied. i have worked on that video all day long. and i still don't have it done. i have everything now except the music, but i am all out of energy, and i am also blind. which means i am finished for the night. i shall finish it sometime tomorrow. i have to upload the music. ugh.
goo'night peeps.)


(earlier)

yep she is -- she really is a sweet girl. y'all know she is. at least she can be.

her party was last night. we took her to the restaurant (dammit i STILL can't spell that!) of her choice. phew-- there went a weeks worth of groceries. :)) but they had a great time. and so did us old folks. but we saw lots of smiles and giggles out of the girls -- and isn't that the goal? so , yeh, i would say it was a success. i will also say -- it was not what we as parents had imagined in our own minds for 'her' sweet 16. but it was HER sweet 16 and she wouldn't change a thing. that is what's important. it was her party, her memory, her day, and aside from the stinkin head cold that crept up on her and still worsens, it couldn't have been more perfect --. so yippee, for her.
only thing? her 'real birthday' is on the ninth-- and lemmee tell ya-- i already hear that train comin--- what she will expect on her real birthday i'm not sure yet-- but it'll be somethin. i'll be sure to let you know. and also if we deliver -- which i'm sure we will. prolly just another dinner out-- but i assure you-- it will not be where we went last night-- or any where near that budget.
more like outback -- or maybe even mcdonalds :))

ok-- so-- i plan to make a video after i do this post-- so i'm not gonna post too many pix here-- but i'll put the video up later-- and y'all know those take a while -- so cruise by later tonight to view it. k.

anyhow-- here ya go-- a few soulkid life moments :)) and b-day pix
i have a almost new frickin all in one scanner printer thing-- and i have yet to figure out the scanner-- other wise i would have a better selection-- i could only use what i had saved on my puter- or photo pages.

anyhow-- without further ado -- i bring you--

soulkid

(click any photo to enlarge)

time goes too fast. i'm almost an empty nester. i know i'll miss the arguing. the laughing. the deep talks. and the tricks on my mind. not far from today.
she might be a little turd sometimes---- but she's mine. and she's beautiful.

come back tonight for the video -
i bet the finished product will make me cry.

laterz folks
happy sunday in your worlds
it's rainin here-- hope y'all are gettin sunshine