soul-bits

mornin peeps -

greetings and salutations :))
so.  what's happenin in your worlds?  i am really thinkin about my east coast - ish peeps.  i haven't been keeping up with the news on Irene as much as i would like to have.  but i sure am glad it's over.  well - at least the storm part.  i did see the - finally - only last night , the damage it left in its wake.  i can't believe that i got so far behind in that news.  things have been crazy busy here.  not much time for tv - and i never see a news paper.  i'm sure i have seen all you folks on facebook since the storm , so i at least partly sure you all are at least alive.  which is a wonderful thing.  i hope you are all injury free, and that your homes and families  are safe as well.  i reckon mother mother nature is quite angry.  flooding some and droughting others.

my area here in TX is still bone dry.  and still battling 105-106 temps.  still praying for rain.  yet knowing when we get the amount that we need -- we will be bitchin about the floods that will surely follow.   due to dry ground.  water in any amount will come so fast the soil won't be able to soak it up -- we just won't win.  not for a while.  cows and horses are dying, along with people,and  other animals, and of course crops etc.  some livestock are being sold - or shipped out of state just because there is no water or grass to sustain them.  it's just a really bad situation here.  of course lakes are low, and our local ponds that we usually like to fish in are extremely low - creeks are bone dry, and fishin simply not an option -  in town.  i'm no 'grab a sign and picket for goin green, or conserving water - or any of that eco friendly stuff'   but ill tell ya somethin.  it's tempting lately.  it's a sad thing to watch --
this is my town.  my little world.  and it's suffering.  the people and animals are suffering.  the fish and lakes and ponds are suffering.  the entire area is suffering .  and i feel helpless in any way to actually help in any way.  all i can really do is try not to over use electricity -- and we do that.  cut back on water usage - we do that.  i can't really go fill cow troughs . or lakes or ponds.  i can't pull fish out of ponds and babysit them.. i have no where to put and care take them.  although there are fisheries who have done that in a few ponds around here.  (after fish kills.)  i honestly don't think i have ever seen anything like this.  it breaks my heart !

anyhow -- that's my new view on the state of the environment and it's needs.  i certainly have a new outlook on things there.  i have learned a lot about conservation, i'm sure i won't forget those anytime soon.

oooooh noooz - soul has lost her mind -- again.  :))

so -- ya wanna hear the scoop on soulkid and AI in houston?  she didn't get through.  :((  they spent almost a week down there.  they registered on tuesday- and didn't audition til friday.  expensive trip.  the day of the audition, it looked good -- for a minute.  they took em in four at a time.  she was the only one in her group who was asked to sing two songs.  it looked promising -  i was getting the play by play by text from her dad-- i was nearly having a stroke!  it was horrible for me to be there to see what was happening.  she didn't tell either one of us exactly what the judge said to her until the day after they got ho,e -- after being told 'no'.  ugh . we were all so confident that she would get thru.  even if not all the way thru.. we felt she would at least get through the auditions.  anyhow -- the word was -- the lady judge told her ' i love your voice - i want you to work on your performance, and work on making eye contact, please come back next year.'.

i didn't see that in any way as negative feedback.  soulkid has always been afraid to sing in front of people.  so.  i can see how she isn't used to looking at anyone.  she does need to work on it.  and we will encourage her to go back.  the word is only TWENTY people from houston went through.  20-- from thousands.  and you know half of them were for the entertainment value.  and half of the other ten can't sing.  but again -- soulkid took it in stride - and understands all this.  she will take the constructive critisism and run with it.  she will take advantage of the several 'open mic' nights they have around town, and work on her 'performances.'  and next time she will show them all what they passed up.
the kid has a voice like no one i know her age.  or some i even hear on the radio.  i wish she would let me video her so i could show y'all just what she can do-- she really is amazing !
she did sign the rights of her image to x-factor and AI -- so ya never know she may be on TV even tho she didn't get thru on either -- so do watch them.. she might be on there somewhere -
watch for this face - this beautiful little face !

aside from that ?  there has been lots of other things goin on round here too.  but lack of blogging or other means of keepin track - and my bad memory makes it hard for me to remember much of of it.  all i know is i have been a busy busy gal lately.

part of that is trying to keep up with the animal clan around this place.  we have way too many animals.  they are driving me half insane lately too.  if it's not chasing behind behind Eevee, cleaning up her near constant vomiting.  ugh. yes i know.  i do not know why it happens but the poor girl pukes almost every time she eats or drinks.  most of the time it is clear and foamy liquid.  it concerns me.  but some folks around here like to call it a 'sensitive stomach. hmmmm.  well, if i puked every time i ate or drank?  i do believe i would see a dr.  denial is a bitch.

then we come to sushi - the min pin - she barks - yaps the yappy dog - ear piercing bark.. incessantly - all day long at every sound - or sometimes nothing.  a doorbell or buzzer on tv -- omg - she has issues.  but yesterday ?  i had put her outside , and soon after i noticed her barking was 'too distant- for her to be in 'our' yard. i hurried to look outside- she wasn't there.  i followed her bark - she was in the backyard neighbors yard! luckily she came back over right away when i called her.  i saw where she came through the fence --   HERE

at first - i didn't get a close look - i just brought her inside - thinking she dug a hole.  man i was angry at her.  i spent half the day thinking how to fill a hole that size with hubby in wichita - and me in pain.  all i could think was a bag of sand.  which usually weighs fifty pounds.  ugh.
later on in the day - after hours of business stuff and running around out in town of business stuff. i was exhausted and tired .  i felt awful and sick.  i left many of my tasks i needed to do undone.  my main focus was the fence -- the rest could wait for today.  but the fence had to be fixed .  i went out back for closer inspection.  that's when i noticed that it was a broken fence panel...

so -- what did i do?  i considered goin back out to buy a cinder block -- but i just didn't have the energy to do that.  so i took a look around the garage -- and voila ! a filled with crap tool box ! ( 40 pounds worth!) but,   a soUlution !

sushi tested - sushi approved.

welp -- i spose that's all any of us have time for right now -- so let's all say laterz for now -- 

until next time -- have a pleasant day - and a better tomorrow -  let the day be good to you-

i don't know where to start - these are the best ones eh? :))

mornin folks -
how's things?  well and good i hope?
here?  well, i reckon that's a starting point.  ok.  yep.  just ok.  for now. 
not that 'this' is where i would have wanted to start but it looks like where i'm at -- so - let's keep goin eh?


well or not -- i could start with the most recent of events - and then go backwards?  yeh -- ok- so, i'm sleepin this mornin , or sorta this mornin.  it was 3:04 AM, when i looked at my clock . after the phone rang.  yeh.  i kid you not. my phone rang at 3 in the morning.  for me, that is never a good feeling.  and my first thought when such a thing happens, is never -- hmm LOL must be a crank call.  how freakin funy is this gonna be? hmm.  nope -- in my world -- my heart jumps out of my chest, i frantically search for the cell phone, try to see who it is , then answer -- in a panic -- because i absolutely know that something horrible has happened.  so -- yep,  that was the series of events of the first seconds of my rude awakening at the wee hours of this morning.  not to mention the worried jump and groan from hubby , lying next to me.
But -- when i answer the phone -- who do you think i discover on the opposite end of the line?  yeh.  my sisters' friend, with my sisters laughter behind her -- crank calling me.  mind you -- at 3 AM.  do you think i found any ounce of humor in this situation?  well, sorry - but no.  not because it might not have been kinda funny -- if i didn't worry so much about the next great tragedy all the time.  or sense the WTH, and worry from hubby from the same concern of hubby with late night phone calls... but i take sleep meds - and man -- my brain is mush when i'm asleep at night.  half the time if i'm awakened suddenly -- only God knows how i might react -- but phone calls are never a good thing.
so this call didn't end well, and as i laid there for a moment reflecting on my -- ummm, bitchiness... i decided i should get UP, and make amends.  so i did that . i got some coffee and a cig, and i called the girls back. we had a good, and a fun filled conversation for about an hour- til i couldn't hold my arm up to hold the phone anymore.. and we let it go.  but i was glad i didn't let it go - with me feeling bad - and them feeling hurt, or angry.    -- NO -- that is not an invitation to call me in the middle of the night - the next time may not go the same way  :)) 

so that's how this day has started.  very early for one thing.  i hope i don't drag my ass all day - especially after the way the last few have been going.  but if i do -- what's one more. right?

cuz the last several days - maybe up to a week have been rather strange for me lately.  i was feeling pretty good. both physically, and mentally.  then almost as quick as it came -- it was gone.  mental part - was no more than bein majorly stressed.  but physically?  i was goin nowhere but downhill - fast. 
they symptoms i have been having all lean towards Addison's crisis.  i was trying to treat myself at home.  liquids - to rehydrate, raised my steroid meds, rest -- which couldn't be helped - since i was so dizzy at times i couldn't stand up straight.  pain in low back and leg - not related to my 'normal pain'.  my mouth breaks out in ulcers - on the inside - in times of stress - that was doin a job on me / still is.
well, after a couple of days of that - i decided -- after almost falling over sideways like a toy soldier - to go to ER for an IV, and other treatment.  that did not go over very well at all.  they didn't know how to treat me .. and did nothing for over two hours -- not until i had yelled at everyone from the nurse, to the lab tech, all the way up to the doctor! i finally was given AN IV. and a hydro cortisol intravenously of 100mg. which should have been done immediately on my arrival.  but was done about 3 hours after i got there.  good lawd i was mad.  i wasn't even able to drive there-- my kid drove me , and hubby picked up-  when the doc was literally on his way to discharge me - he revealed he 'forgot to check my labs !!!"    how doe you spell INCOMPETENCE!    so- i have been feeling bad , sick, and dizzy since then - and before - and still treating at home.  and at this point only feeling a tad better.     except that last night my heart rate was skyrocketing, and BP was low.  not terrible low , but low.  this shit's really gonna get me one day -- and i hope if it does someone who knows me will be smart enough to go after the dumbass who doesn't listen to me at the hospital.  i even brought web pages about the disease - and treatment along with me -- no one looked at them.  am i angry?  oooh more than i have been at a dr - or med person - peeps in a long while.    do they see iv and steroids as drug seeking?  WTH?  why don't they listen?  people can and have died from this stuff.  and so few even know what addisons IS. or worse how and when to treat it.  this isn't the first time this or worse has happened to me with a dr.  what's it gonna take to get em to listen.  it scares me to wonder sometimes.

k.. other than that?  hate to admit it but due to bein laid up for several days i don't think i have much to say.  WAIT i lied !  i DO I DO!!!

guess who is goin to Houston next week to audition for american idol????  yup -- my one and only favorite girl in the world !!!!


i didn't tell y'all this before -- for the first long while it was 'confidential.  if ya told anyone - or especially put it online - it meant certain disqualification.  so i got so used to not talking about it --
that by the time i was allowed to it was over , and i just felt i just wouldn't mention it -- until i knew how this -- next round (American Idol) was gonna go.  and now that i know for sure that is set up -- motel reserved etc -- here i am to blab my proudness :))


a few months ago - soulkid auditions for X-Factor.. right here in Dallas.  she and her dad went - three days in a row, stood in lines of thousands of people for the auditions, for days.  the first day, over ten thousand people showed up.

each day the crowd dwindled in size, but my girl continued through each of the four audition rounds.  the worst of the four was the last day. it began with 75-80  of the 10,000+ of the original contestants.  the last audition was pruned down to only a handful, and  instead of being told weather or not she would go forward -- she was told would be contacted.- along with the rest of the others who were left.  that was a very difficult waiting period.  THE day of the TV taping she received an email stating she would not be sent through.  we were sad for her, and of course she was disapointed.  but she handled it with grace and style.  she understood that it wasn't her voice that lost her a spot -- it was the shows need for the comedy/drama factor that cost her that spot.  now the rest lies in the future weeks and months with American Idol.   i won't be able to speak much about that as you all know - there are rules, and contracts etc.  but i want y'all to know to watch for her.  and pray for her -- she has the talent -- she needs the support and confidence to go forward.  the kid has sang all of her life.  i wish they could bring a shower onto the stage there -- that's where she sings the best!!  i always know when something is wrong with her-- when i don't hear her sing from the shower.

so peoples -- that's my life in recent past -- up, down, backwards, sideways, and forward.  i reckon.  it's a busy life but someone has to live it.

needless to say - between all that's been goin on, and the three digit temps out here -- no fishin lately -- but hopefully soon we'll get another break, and hopefully hopefully hopefully some rain.  

love y'all - and you know i think of ya lots !
hope you all have a perfect sunday in your worlds today -- i'll do my best - i always do - yeh that's a new one eh-- i try guys - hard work for such a small word -- but it's amazing how far just trying can get ya some times!

come on in - smoke n choke with meh

howdy folks - long time no see eh?  sorry bout that.  i haven't ad much to say.  yeh i know. that doesn't sound right comin from me does it?  well.  even though i can usually turn nothin to say into a half hour of your day, i haven't wanted to make y'all suffer.  not that i have been sufferin.  well.  things have been a little bit rough. just not like you think.  well, let's say not like you are used to hearing me write about.

my theme around here for the past couple months has been 'change'.  in every way you could possibly imagine.  personal change mostly.  spiritually, emotionally, mentally, physically,  in relationships-and out,you name it -- if a person can work on- or change it -- i'm doin it.  and y'all know -- a person can really only change themselves right.  or the way they react to situations.  and any bit of that takes time.  and energy. and patience.  and if any of you really know ME?  i have none of that.  well.. til lately.  i don't know where it's coming from.  but i'm finding it.  it only comes in moments, or spurts, or or even at times bursts, but many days i get things done that even only three months ago i wouldn't have even begun to start - now i can see things getting done and i even feel better physically and mentally for it.

don't get too excited folks - it's still the early stages .. healing takes time, and that's what all this is. it took a long time to - i find no other word to say it - but 'give up'. i did that. i crawled inside myself and gave up on me and everyone , everything around me. it took a long time  to get there.

i think i actually backtracked to what i will call 'the straw that broke the camels back' - and i feel so stupid for letting THAT be what broke me.  saddest thing of that part?  i knew in advance that it potentially would-- and i LET it.  i left myself open-- i watched it happen- but ya know what -- it's ok.  i'm so over it-- and i'm good.

i won't say healed - i know my physical stuff will not be healed - but i manage my pain oh so much better.  breaking my ribs was a very much needed wake up call.  God showed me what REAL life stopping pain was.  so yeh, i tuff it out a lot of the time, i manage the meds in a much more mature way.  and i'm alert and making things happen.  gettin er dun . 

mentaly things are better too.  just gettin my ass off the couch and workin on the house every day, gettin out of the house and running errand or spending time with the fam or hubby or doing whatever -- out of the house is good.  opening the blinds - for christ's sake!    i haven't been a part of my own life for so long i didn't realize i was missing it.  

who in their right mind -- not that i ever claimed to be  :))  --- would ever say -- i'm happy i broke my ribs -- i heard God speak through that experience.  sounds crazy to some i'm sure .. but that my friends was surely my wake up call to live - or die .. and to know that it was MY choice.

well folks -- coffee's gone --- CHEERS --

hope you all have happy days in your worlds today -
it's a hot one again here -- but we did get a few nice days -- and it RAINED!!!

funny fun taylor vid

taylor swift - havin fun :))

this is for my soulkid


what's up peeps?
just a soul roast here in Tejas -

i just noticed THIS--



Y'ALL do remember my 333 thing right?  that's just freak-ay :))

HEP MEH , HEP MEH - FEELIN HOT HOT HOT

WATCH THE VIDEO AT YOU TUBE -

i'm HOT HOT HOT !!!