Tuesday, May 10, 2011


hiya peeples-

how's things in your worlds?

here, i'm just enjoyin the silence for the moment actually.  well, the silence around me i should say. the silence in my head -- well, that's a whole nother question.  quite a bit goin on in there - i'll get to that in a minute.

but as for here at home, around me?  ahhhh.  the animals are quiet-- and soulman, AND soulkid -- are at work.  which puts me all by myself -- alone -- to enjoy my smoke - n- choke in peace, for what seems to be a long time. 

i know for some, that means loneliness.  for me?  it's my time.  no tv.  no x-box live crap.  just the sound of silence -- and it really is golden. 

i have been a stressed out disaster of a mess for what seems to be -- months.  i don't even know why really.  but i have got to a point of non functioning, and total exhaustion.  between physical pain, and mental stress and -- whatever.. it's been paralyzing for me.  not to mention flat out d-e-p-r-e-s-s-i-n-g.
i have raised meds -- lowered meds -- stopped meds -- started back on meds. chain smoked- cut back on cigs.   rested.. not rested.. got up - and crashed.

 i even found myself in the emergency room a few days ago -- chest pain, side pain, and racing heart -- i was at the point that i believed that i was having another blood clot (pulmonary embolism-- or perhaps a heart attack) -- turned out to be 'nothing-- thank God. -- but of course - i always feel foolish when i go to a dr - especially ER -for 'nothin .. but better safe, than sorry eh?

i will admit -- it was easing on my mind tho - to know that my heart, and lungs were ok.  i think i was stressed over stressin that they were not.

i have also been worried a lot -- about the dang horrible storms and tragedies in places where i have dear friends.. some of which i still am not sure of how some of my friends are doing.  japan, alabama (i know those peeps are ok) ---

but now tennessee - i have a lot of peeps there in several different areas -- i didn't even hear about problems there until a couple days ago -- yeh , i'm a hermit-- y'all know that.  but seriously-- WTF is UP with all of this ??  and let me know how y'all are ok?

 even we here have had our share of storms, tornadoes,  and even wild fires of all things.  nothing too bad near us.  but some areas are trying and failing to get help from obama.  what a freakin crazy time for so many .

and what about osuma?  really think he is dead?  and if so.. why not end the damn war, and bring our people home?  was he not the main goal of this entire thing?  if he is dead -- let's end it.  especially if he is dead, and we have a entire new threat of terror 'here'.. what good are we 'there'?  this whole thing has me up in arms.  pic?  no pic?  buried at sea?  really?  it's all just weird.  but if it is true?  rock on SEAL team 6!

on a lighter note?  how was y'alls moms day?  hope it was grand!  mine was nice-  smoked brisket -- nice surprise gifts,  got a nice new fishin rod-- what else right?  and a nice relaxing lotion - primping basket /candle gift from my soulkid.  nice all around day.  hope yours was good too.

we also got to baby dog sit my mommasons dog -- a min pin for a week, while she and her sister , used our time share to visit their other sister .  he was a trip.  but also a lot of fun.  he got along with all the other animals.  sushi was very jealous - but also had fun playing with him. his name is Duke,

and of course -- i am loved by all -

i also had another surprise-- yep - douglass - the cat -- put his foot in my eye while i was sleeping !  well sort of- i heard him drinking my water-- grabbed him, and drug him over my face, to get him away from it.  that's when his foot landed in my eye! very painfully, i might add.  the next morning, i noticed my eye was all red and bloody 'looking' in the white area.  i worried about infection, so went to the dr.  for antibiotics.  little did i know-- it is state law in texas -- to report to animal control of any bite or scratch of an animal!!  douglasss has been on 'home quarantine'.. thank God they didn't come and take hi to lock him up at the shelter!  but today is the day i have to take him to the vet for his 'well check' and drop 50 bucks -- and take a damn form to animal control to prove he is up to date on his shots and doesn't have rabies. 

it's been a roller coaster of a couple weeks -- but i am alive.  trying to chill out some.

cheers y'all -- have a couple for me- i could use em-