Sunday, May 30, 2010

look at the babwees :))

( after the video, have a read below - i posted this morning for the first time in a while.)

enjoy the baby kittehs :)) only 3 of the 4 babies showed up. and mama and big boy were shy.


wow - i woke from a bad dream, and stepped into a Nightmare

eegads people WTH?

oh, sorry . hi folks !!! long time no see. i sure have missed ya. i knew i would. i always do when i take time off from here. this may well be the longest i've stayed away though. so yeh, i've had y'all on my mind a lot. and i hope everything is right in your worlds. i know. from the little bit i have seen on facebook, and the few blogs i've been around, it doesn't look so good in some places. just know my thoughts are with ya- and my prayers are too. ok? alone, that may not mean much -- but along with all the others who are on your side? prayer works -- i think if nothing else- we've learned that much in life. right?

so anyhow. if you're wonderin how that ties into my title- it doesn't. but i'll tell ya what does. i was sleepin like a corpse this mornin. hell, it was even like 930 !! i was havin a really bad dream too. had somethin to do with soulkid gettin back into the drug stuff. - which prolly had somethin to do with meeting new friends since goin back to school, ya know? - she had a new friend spend the night last night-- and trusting new kids is just tough. ya know?) anyhow, i'm havin this dream, and it's windin down to right where i'm puttin it all together, and about to confront her-- ok- kick her ass... when suddenly, i hear soulman, very angry, cussing and yelling at her in the living room. but it isn't in my dream.. now i'm awake- kinda. well- shit- i wanted to see what happened in my dream! but now- i have to get up and see WTH is happenin in my house. ugh. i go out there still half asleep. the two of them are arguing over the upstairs a/c thermostat ! of all the things in the world to be fighting over-- and to this extent-- it's THAT? and with a new friend possibly sleeping upstairs? OMG. ridiculous. i stumble in the office- put all my crap down (phone, cigs, pill box, lighter), go in the kitchen make a cuppa coffee, listen to wth they're doin-- trying to figure it out in my half stupor. they're both throwin the friggin F'Bomb at each other !!! over a thermostat? my head began to throb. my back and everything else was already in knots. i hadn't said a word since i walked out of my bedroom. i stumble back into my office and sit on my couch, light a cig, take a pain pill-- yeh i know-- breakfast of champions - and we all know- i am one - ya gotta be to live here :)) finally, i can attempt to piece all this bs together and try to make sense of it. ooooh. ok. i get it. apparently, soulkid had changed the upstairs t-stat to 68 degrees . mind you-- this is not the first time-- nor is it the first time she has been told-- or in trouble for doin it-- we've been thru this fifteen times with her. so it was kind of a camel and straw thing. (also tryin to save for summer trips and cut costs etc) - so soulman just got - well angry. you wouldn't like him when he's angry. - really. not many people do. :)) so - there she is crying and yelling-- and him - well, just yelling. as soon as i get the the gyst of it all-- it begins to make sense--- a solution. we can argue and she can suffer in the hotness up there--- or we can find a SOULution (you like that huh? i just made that up-- actually it was a typo - but i made it a word :)) so anyhow-- i was trying to not get upset- or have a panic attack etc- for all the arguing etc-- so yeh, i'm trying to think how to quell the situation -- better yet-- shut them up ! i finally pipe up and say -- listen. why don't you just finally shut down the guest room-- like i been sayin-- and shut that vent -- and that will push the air elsewhere?" hmmm.. the livin room goes silent. ahhhh
that gets soulmans wheels turnin-- he then says -- we could also shut your bathroom vent partway-- you don't want it cold in there. guess what?
problem solved . thanks MOM!!!!

what a way to start the day.
so. just thought i'd share that with you.
i really just wanted to pop in and say hello to all you people. and let ya know i'm still kickin. and doin somewhat better than the last time ya heard from me.

as for the pain i was bitchin about -- i will be gettin shots in my neck sometime after i get back from my sises in arkansas. so yeh-- i did mention that part right? i'm headin there on the fourth -- first to the cemetary to visit my boys/family's graves. this is the first time in a very long time that i won't be goin alone and unannounced. she and her bff will meet me and we will go together. then the next day we will go to the crystal mine. then to her house. vicki wants me to teach them how to fish-- that will be so funny, i shall take pix. i hope with all my heart they both catch a big bass ! i don't even care if i catch one.
so yeh- we're just chillin for a couple days , then i gotta get my butt home to the fam.

when i get back i will schedule the cervical steroid shots in my neck. within a week or so those will be done-- so please pray for relief on the dang neck pain.

dr also mentioned the second 'rhizotomy'. remember that? OMG it was torture. for months. but i think after the months of burning , torturous, pain... it actually did do some good-- for many months actually. and thats why my neck is doin so bad now. cuz it wore off. so she has me pretty convinced to gived it a go- and do the other side. BUT NOT til after summer. i have too much planned this summer to put myself down for three or four months. and besides that-- soulkid gets her drivers license in july-- so if i do end up with the same reaction as last time--- she will be able to drive herself to school. so it's a we shall see type of thing.

anyhow-- that's it for now-- and even that was prolly too much for ya.
i miss ya - i think of you all the time-- and i hope you all have happy days - and summers ahead !
i'll be sein ya

Thursday, May 20, 2010

so, what's worse than wakin up at 3:33 A.M. ?

yep. how bout still bein awake at 3:33 A.M. that would be it. at least it feels that way right about now. i don't think y'all have noticed-- and if that's true-- then i have succeeded with my plan. but yeh. it has been a pretty rough few days- weeks , whatever for me. the worst of it has been the last three or four days tho. i know. looks can be deceiving eh? but hey-- that is exactly how i wanted it to be. i been doin the same thing at home too. til it just couldn't be contained anymore. yeh , the lid finally blew. not in an angry way. but in a way that i hate more than that. and i think the family would rather i just blow up and argue or something actually. i think for some unknown reason, most folks find arguing easier to deal with , than emotional stuff. or 'emotional people' anyhow. it just seems that i have been trying so hard over these past many weeks to be 'strong' , that i just ended up taking too much of it into my own body and and mind. and now here i sit-- this last couple weeks... in pain that is just out of control, non- communicative with people that matter, and of course-- i suffer for it. the pain wakes me at night, i sleep during the day to catch up-- which makes me fall behind in my business stuff,. i'm just a mess, which makes everything and everyone else a mess here too. add an assload of sarcasm, to hide the facts-- and when i finally come out and tell hubby -- umm, btw dear-- i'm not doin so good. he's left wonderin 'wth did I do". y'all know how men are. right. ugh.

i've mentioned it before-- a lot of times-- 'it' starts with pain. then goes from there. next thing i know - my world is goulash. and i can't pick it apart enough to know where to begin to fix it. the fam feels lost and responsible. i feel useless and worthless, and crippled, and horrible, and can't help but wonder -- will it be months, weeks, or years before i end up off my feet for good.

tonights biggest mental attack began when i woke from my second-- yep-- second nap of the day - as the fam was returning from the way overdue grocery shopping trip. i was still groggy- but felt it necessary that i should at least help put stuff away. so went in to help- i simply asked if they remembered to get 'me' something to drink. (i have been drinkin water for two weeks) well ,and coffee, or i'd pick up a drink if i was out on my way home etc. soulman points to the table-- over there. i look-- three twelve packs of diet- and one 12 pack of root beer-- i am allergic to diet-- it makes me gag- if not barf. and root beer is just as bad. i literally broke out into tears. none of us could believe my reaction. it was ridiculous and i know it. bottom line-- it wasn't not havin a drink-- it was the not bein thought of. when i shopped - when i was able-- i always got what they wanted or needed. without them asking - i knew. i just had a baby fit.
i felt like five kinds of asshole. thanked them for shopping and left the kitchen to compose myself.

but really. this is gettin simply too stupid to even be my life. the pain and limitations of my life are absolutely getting much more than i can deal with.

therefore-- i have decided that i am gonna take a break from bloggin for a while.

i have a lot of things for the summer planned. i have a lot i need to do around the house. things that i need to do to get my life back on track. things that don't involve me thinking or questioning if things are right or wrong in my world. or if i've done or said something wrong or not pc on here. too much- too little. my anxiety lately is through the roof. big time.

between what's happened- happening in soulkids life-- my own life- soulmans life-- our life as a family-- our upcoming plans - together and separately.. stuff with the house-- stuff with my health.... i'm tellin ya -- it's a lot to deal with. almost too much.

and once again, even though i have all of you-- it's just that time of year again-- that everybody is just busy-- that or i'm too complicated a person. maybe even 'an obligation' as i once understood it to be said. so here i am.. feeling alone in a mess too big for me. i need to step away for a while. and i will. i may pop in now and then - but not daily- that's for sure. i'll also prolly be on facebook here and there.

but as for my real life , my real world - i need to help my girl get through school. i gotta get all my trips saved up for- and completed-- and hopefully -- have fun! and get through them with everyone havin the great times that i have been hoping, planning, and working towards.

i'm even gonna go to girls week at my sises for a couple days in arkansas-- i have a little business i need to take care of out there- that is long overdue as well. it's been on my mind for a long time, just haven't been up to goin out there til now. i need to go to the cemetery where my boys are buried-- thing is-- most my other family is there too-- my mom , brother- 2 uncles- , gramma, great gramma, off the top of my head i can't even keep goin-- but it's a virtual family plot over there. it's never easy. but always easing, and healing. it's time. even my midnight is there. well-- part of her (ashes). right next to my boys. {i even put a small tribute out there for a friends baby who didn't make it a while back. that wasn't easy, but i felt a part of that little life. this will be my first time back since putting that there, and burying Midnight.}

i'll be seein y'all. i just have too much on my mind. and honestly-- that's just half of it.

so yeh.

i need a break from bloggin. and a lot of other crap as well.

so- i will see you when i see you.

i may even take the whole dad-gum summer off--

if you're still here when i get back-- i'd sure like that--

hugs -- and happy summer y'all

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Monday, May 17, 2010

guess who's finally WENT fishin?

yep. that would be me. and on the boat even. our new one. for the first time. i'm excited. but yes, a little worried too. i hope my body doesn't turn against me. ugh. i also hope the weather will cooperate.
wish us luck. wish me fish. and check back back later to see the catch of the day -- if we get any. it's been quite a while since i been on the lake. i'm lookin forward to just bein on the boat- weather i catch fish or not-- but you know -- i better catch fish or i'll be a sad soul.

happy monday to you folks out there--

catchya latah --
i'm baaaack.
we went fishin, returned, ate lunch, took a nap, and got soulkid from school; since i wrote that. and in the meantime? not one person spoke to me here. (*tear* )
that's alright tho-- y'all can have lives.
our day on the boat was really great today.
well, cept for a couple things.
surely you didn't think MY maiden voyage would be 'perfect'
did ya?
well. it turned out fine, but not without effort.
the boat runs smooth as glass. we were runnin at 70 MPH, and i didn't get 'bumped' once! i couldn't believe it ! our other boat is such a rough ride. it doesn't matter how fast you're runnin, it is comparable to drivin a thirty year old truck without shocks down a dirt road! really.
i loved it. it was kinda cool this mornin, but of course by noon it was an easy ninety degrees and we were dyin.
the fact that the trolling motor batteries were dead from the first moment of the day didn't help any. we found docks to tie off to and found different ways to fish without trolling the banks - which is our usually way we do things. no wind, no breeze, just blazin sun, sittin still, gettin toasty red , sweatin in the texas heat .
i'm not complainin though.
i lost one fish while throwin a crankbait-- a "sexy shad" :))
then later i went to my old trusty "drop shot"
first- i got a cat fish. no picture-- i didn't wanna touch the gross thing.
next- i through another drop shot-- missed one. :((
tried a few more tricks in my bag -- but failed.
we moved -- tried a few things -- no luck -- until -
i went back to "old trusty " - my drop shot -
and look what the cat dragged in :))
making my day on the lake a purty g'dun :))

(bass-clown soul)

Sunday, May 16, 2010

the results are in

mornin y'all-

this was supposed to be a reply in my comments-
it just got so long- i decided to call it a post :))

turned out that soulkid did end up havin fun after-all. i can't see drivin in the dark. so no- i wasn't able to go rescue her. i felt so bad. she never did text to tell me things - miraculously, got better. they ended up working it out that it was cool to dance/ hang out with other people- it was just a friend thing to begin with. so once that was settled, it got fun for both of them. and all went well for the next few hours. no rescuing was needed. i guess she just needed to vent- and talk to her mommy. :))
it was hard for me to wait up til midnight for her to come home, but i was worried , and wanted to make sure that A- she got home-- and B- that she was alright. she did get home-- on time, and she was perfectly ok. told me all about it-- and i took my meds asap-- and all was well in soulland.

she is now off on a daddy daughter day-- of adventure and - photo taking- fishing- and surprises for both. there's been a little tension between them lately- so they are out to clear the air. she's real good about telling us when she needs time with one of us -- or a family day.

she is such a good girl. i love my baby. and my man.

so anyhow-- i'm hangin roun the soulcrib today, gotta clean the kitchen- as promised. and do some other junk and catchin up-- which includes makin my rounds with you folks-- sorry i have got behind - i'm workin on it.

hugs and happy days all around -

later taterz

oh hey -- btw--- why did no one have anything to say about the dog wearin goggles? i found that to be no less than hysterical !!! why would he not knock em off? and why weren't the other dogs wearin any? that was the funniest thing i've seen in a loooong time! i still laugh when i look at it. anyhow-- maybe i'm just defective? (that's a judge judy word-that also made me laugh. could you imagine a judge calling you 'defective'?) there's somethin i have never been called-- and trust me, i been called a lot.

ok-- i'm outta heah --

Saturday, May 15, 2010

who knew dawgs wore goggles? oh and someone went to prom :))

have you evah seen anything like this !!!

not me - til i grabbed dinner at a drive thru tonight :))
it was then that i laughed like a mental patient- alone in my car -

howdy peeps!
here? not a whole lot.

right now i'm textin back n forth with my poor soulchild. things aint goin so well it seems. and to make it worse? she wants me to go get her right now. :(( i can barely see the text on the phone--- much less a damn thing on the road out there in the dark for a 80 mile round trip drive . ugh.

so anyhow--- here's how lovely she looked when she left--- too bad it didn't turn out like she thought it might. it was actually a 'friend-date' - now it's just a get - me- outta- here- kinda thing. awwwwwww.

y'all know how i luuuuv kittehs? well, guess what!

we have four more !!!!
one of the outside cats had babies !!!

yes, it's true. four new additions and we didn't even know it ! not til last night. they must be a week old by now. maybe five days or so. we rarely use the front door to come or go. usually we go thru the garage. the main times we use the front door is just to feed the cats out there. which , as most of you know, WAS normally three. and an occasional straggler or two. ugh. well. yesterday afternoon, or- evening, whatever-- soulkid and soulman used the front door - as their only alternative- other than bein locked out. cuz he was on his bike, she was walking, and i had all the keys etc. so. she looks down at their shelter-- which is a scratching post/castle - that our cats always turned their noses up at - choosing my furniture to tear up-- before their miracle de-claw :)) (evil laugh).

anyhow-- what did she see when she looked in there? well-- about the same as i saw when i got home -- cuz of course she called immediately -- to tell me the GOOD (???) news. bleh

go ahead-- look
you know i'm thrilled to no end


anyhow-- one more thing before i let ya go-- i was lookin for a pic-- never did find it -- BUT i did happen to come across a old post. i wrote it around Christmas '08. i sat here, laughin out loud all the way through re-reading it for the first time. i had forgot all about it. i read it aloud to soulman. apparently, all it did for him was stir up old anger. which is understandable- but so not my intention. most of y'all know that this was an awful time in our lives -- and really -- it was laugh or cry back then. if not for my demented sense of humor there's no way in hell i'd still be here. i think you all know that much by now. so--- join me on a trip down memory lane-- have a chuckle or two... detach from reality for a minute -- i did-- you can too- :))


It was the night before christmas and all through the house

The soul pets were mental, and spot ate the mouse.

Eevee and sushi were fighting like bears

While jitterbug sharpened her nails on the chair.

Soul checked on her girl, hell, she’s not in her bed

The vision of beating her flashed through her head.

She first checked the closet, the kitchen, then bath,

Only to realize the kid snuck out the back.

She slapped the cat off the chair, kicked the dogs in the teeth,

Then woke up the soulman to go find their teen.

Off to the back door, he ran out in a dash,

His facial rosacia was flaring , it looked like a mask.

The soulman was pissed as he ran out in the cold,

Yelling for soulkid to get her ass home.

Then what to his wandering eyes did appear?

It was soulkid, two friends, and detective, dick greer.

With a sideways glance at her dad, so guilty and quick,

All three of the girls ran passed him and dick.

Inside the house they ran right into soul,

She knocked each of the girls, one by one to the floor.

Don’t move, soulkid, and You, and YOU little vixen,

Tell me, now where you’ve been, or it’s your ass that I’m kickin!

The kids had been out running the streets,

They Sat at the park, they said, but soul didn’t believe.

Soulman walked in from his talk with the cop

The girls looked up and laughed at him wearing his croks!

Soulkid said “dad, I’m so sorry you know,

I just can’t be scared of you wearing croks in the snow.”

He glared down at the girls as they giggled and chirped

While he tried to look angry it just didn’t work.

There were three teenage girls laughing at his feet

He was caught in the middle, with no one to meet.

He burst out in laughter , extending a hand,

soulkid reached from the floor as he helped her to stand.

he sent all the girls to his now half grown kids’ room ,

and said to his wife “what the hell will we do?

the cop got them for curfew , but God knows what’s next,

we know that you’re cursed, now that’s got me perplexed.”

Soul looked up at the soulman, and saw in his eye,

That his little girl growing up had made the man cry.

So many years have now seemed to slip through,

Now there’s so much not done that these parents should do.

Soul lit a cigarette , the man ate some fudge,

Both watching in silence as sushi shat on the rug.

Horrible tunage blared through soulkids walls,

Right into the living room causing soul to bawl.

she was stressing, and achin, and about to crack up,

the music would kill her if it wasn’t shut off!

With a flip of his wrist, he threw open his cell,

soulman texted the kid to shut down stereo hell.

she didn’t text back , but the noise it did cease,

to the soul-parents amazement they were finally at ease.

the man locked the windows , and set the alarm,

then said goodnight to the girls, threatening bodily harm.

if they were to leave in the hours of the night,

he was hoping they knew it would be their last time.

then with a grin he backed out of the door,

no giggles or chirping sounds this time for sure.

he went to his wife and he wished her night to be well,

then he spoke into her ear, welcome dear to teen hell.

BMB 12-17-08

(this was fiction- it never happened-- but a shit ton of other stuff did)


just one more thing- i just read a pals blog
and found a most disturbing post on the TN flooding.

(unbelievable, and very sad)

(click above)

Friday, May 14, 2010

it really IS rainin cats and dogs !!

well, more like kittehs
more on this story saturday a.m.
low battery is cause for computer shutdown.

g'nite y'all

Thursday, May 13, 2010

she's a soul-kid and she's all mine :))

  • so. how are you peeps doin out there? hope all is well in your worlds and lands of far away. or not so far away in some cases. things are runnnin fairly smoothly in the land of soul these days. perhaps i'll try to make it short and sweet and try a first ever "bullet post" HA. yeh , we'll see right? is anything ever short-- OR sweet, when it comes to me, or this blog? i thought you'd say that. but really, one of our laptop cords got fried, and that leaves me here with only battery power -- to sleep blog no less. so, let's hope i finish this post before A] the batttery dies or B] i do. ugh.

ok, here's the passed few days happenins-
in no particular order.

  • i shall start with none other than my child. -- AKA "soulkid" . as most of you know, she had missed a lot of school recently . about 6 weeks, maybe more. she now is beginning her ninth school day tomorrow. in the 8 days that this girl has attended school at this new school; she has already completed TWO courses, and earned TWO FULL credits ! i cannot not brag. i tried to be humble the last time i mentioned it when she knocked out english - in 4 days. but c'mon folks--- another class-- another credit -- in another 3 days? genius . no less than a genius . and she's mine. i can't accept the credit for her brilliance. i wish i could. but i really think she got that from her dad. he is an intelligent man. it's not like i stumbled into a fishin farm and chose the first guy i saw with a fish in his hand. no no no. i got to know him, and to be honest-- his intelligence is one of the things that i actually found to be intriguing about him. most guys i was used to 'dating' were wrench turners in the navy with me. not to put myself down. it does take some knowledge to troubleshoot, repair, and keep a airplane in the air. but - honestly, it's a different type. ya know?so anyhow-- yep. her next two classes, that we don't expect her to complete in the very few weeks left of school, are math and biology. two very tough classes. but if by chance she does.... do y'all realize realize-- that would be four - FOUR - high school credits earned in less than eight weeks? that is amazing to me. she is amazing to me. i am bursting with pride for that girl. and i just wanted to let ya know that :)) so now ya know.
  • ummm. next? that would be my coffee pot / maker debacle. y'all know my birthday came and went-- right along with mothers day. so between those two spoil soul days, and the closeness of them. i did get spoiled, and too much money was spent. unintentionally. it was spread out over like a week or two, so we didn't notice so much til it was too late. lemmee just say it's been a tough 2-3 days round here. but no one's gone hungry or suffered without anything-- like cigs , coffee, gas, food, etc. bills are ALL paid--and on time-- ouch- i think i hurt myself pattin my back there. but anyhow-- we finally got the Kuereg we've been wanting for a long time. we haven't had it long enough yet to figure out if it saves money yet or not-- but it wasn't cheap to find out. we do love it tho. it would cost an arm and a leg if i still had a two pot a day habit- but i don't. between us, we may drink 6 or 7 lil cup things a day. and if my math is right-- which it is prolly not- i figure they cost maybe 46 cents each. so-- yeh i don't know yet. i know before we dumped about half a pot a day out. so hell if i know-- but i like it- cuz i don't struggle with it- soulman doesn't feel like he has to get up just to make coffee- i can use it easy cheazy. and it's good coffee. hopefully, in the long run it will turn out to be a money saver. we shall see.
  • also-- there was this--- it was a last minute duel day thing for me. not cheap. i know, right. we really need to grow up some. ok a lot. we've never been good with money though. i mean bills always get paid. late perhaps-- maybe days- or weeks-- but always paid. but as for saving anything. we have always sucked at that. tomorrow is payday-- and as for checking and savings? we are starting with close enough to a zero balance. a lot of shit came up tho-- like the fridge, and dr's and the stuff i mentioned. oh and the thing i'm workin up to here :{ you'd get it too-- if you were me (Soul)... i already have this one---

so how could i pass up this one?
it's been discontinued-- last chance deal-

soulman wanted me to have it- and so did i
so we got it. it's a "SOL"
  • and hey, what the hell, i had 30 bucks cash in my mothers day card-- yeh i know -- but it was from the petty cash fund :)) so before the reel was even thought of -- i already spent that money on fishin baits and tackle. -- which btw i haven't been able to even use ANY of-- due to crappy weather-- or pain.
  • speakin of which -- i had those shots in my spine on, umm, monday. they seem to have helped some. i'm taking less meds. limping less noticeably-- not like "Egor" , things are more comfortable. i even went to the grocery store-- alone- for the first time in literally months, and got a few days groceries. and carried it in and put it away. go me. go mr doctor man. hey any little bit is a miracle. right.
  • i reckon there aint much else to say. oh cept we have been bantering back and forth on our TN vacation plans. worried about the flooding and the lake conditions out there. but apparently it's all settled now. it seems that the place we are going is and will be fine for what we are planning. so we shall be headed out to kentucky lake area the end of june. hooray for that. lookin forward to it. we are gonna meet a looong time friend from blog land. known her a few years, and she's like the lil sis i never had. my partner in crime. we'll see what kinda trouble we can get into. out there in redneckville :)) it'll be great fun. i know it will. plus soulkid gets to take a friend along as well. so it should be fun for all. boatin, fishin, tubin, eatin, name it--- if it involves food, fishin, water, sun, fun, bein free in the south in the summer on the lake-- y'all know that's my calling. i can't wait!
  • haha-- looks like i outlasted my battery-- for once-- i think i also have run out of stuff to say.
but there you have the soulland update-- kinda sorta.

what's happenin at your place?
any big plans on the way?

i must sleep now-- hope y'all get good sleep- and a pleasant tomorrow :))

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

i saw ray charles in a memphis airport - sadly, he didn't see me.

[Very similar to THIS ]

true story. years ago. back in the day. i told soulkid the story for the first time the other day. i got only that far when she said "awww". soulman then tells her "He was blind". she found that to be quite funny. i didn't even need to finish the story- it now remains just a joke in just one line. a soul original -- but it's for real. only me i reckon. my whole life could be one funny compilation of one liners if i were a good joke teller. it would also be a best selling novel if i'd ever get to frickin writin. i recently invested in a brand new and not very cheap desk top computer, for the sole reason of writing said novel... non fiction--under the guise of fiction, of course. i chose a name for the book and everything. have i typed a single word yet? well. no. no i haven't. oh, i did write the title -- umm, type and save the title i should say. but, yeh. no further have i gone.

there was a time several years ago though- on my first attempt at the same book- with a different title ... i had over 200 single spaced, type-written pages down. IN my computer-- with NO back up. (SIGH) then it happened. our computer crashed. and with it, went my book. and any gumption i had to write it. anything since then have merely been bad attempts at bad attempts. bleh. i am a disillusioned soul as i think about that. and no, it isn't due to lack of encouragement. many many folks have told me i could, and-or- should write a book. i've had offers from folks who would even help me write it. i appreciate all of that - i always have -- it has been coming my way for many years-- longer than i have been blogging, but obviously a lot more since i have been writing publicly. anyhow-- yeh, i don't know why, but i for some reason, lack the confidence i need in order to put this life in book format. i also know -- if i would just start writing-- it would get written. anyways-- i have no idea why i just said all that-- i spose it's a sample of my fear of writing a book. a real editor would want a million dollars to edit through my chicken scratch senility bloBettes. how do i just get to the meat of it all? and with soulman on x-box live, no less. just haelP me.

so anyways----

i bet ya cash money ya couldn't find my ass with a magnifying glass without catching it on fire first ! :))

nope- i can't take credit for that one. but like i said before, my life is a book full of one liners. believe it or not- my second in a lifetime (male) masseuse said that to me the other day whilst i got a massage. i always ask for a woman, but my girl moved and he was the only one that new my medical issues... so really no choice--- and i go for medical reasons, deep tissue - not fru-fru stuff. so get your heads outta the gutter :))
anyhow-- that was funny -- cuz really -- it's almost true-- lotsa folks tell me i have NO ass. :))

ok, i'm boring even myself, looks like bedtime for soulio.

but wait-- remember when i said soulkid was smart enough , and motivated enough to catch up on her classes? well guess what? she has been in this school for literally four school days... came home on friday to tell us she finished English for the YEAR!! GO Soulkid !! that , my friends-- is after completely missing SIX WEEKS of school. what? i aint braggin. just sayin :))

ok then. g'nite folks --
see ya manyana

Monday, May 10, 2010

happy monday ! needles in the spine anyone?

howdy folks --- how ya be?
here? oh, just tryin to mentally prepare myself for yet another trip to the dr. yeh. the one that sticks long thin needles into my spine. i can't believe i trust this guy-- or any person, actually, to do such things to me. but i do. always hoping for better results than the time before, and rarely seeing that. the first time i had this procedure done, i saw no less than a miracle. four months of a new body. nearly pain free legs, back and neck. i actually lived a somewhat normal life for quite some time. until i got scared and began to slow everything down, in fear of hurting myself. then of course in my fear and laziness and babying of myself the pain did return... and pretty quickly too. seems like once that happened? shots, and even a 'rhizotomy' have only made things worse. (just google it.) if i say - they cut and cauterized my nerves in my back? it sounds awful-- but of course it was. i could barely move for months. i was supposed to have the other side done two weeks later-- think that happened? oh hell no-- and it never will. it was worse than consistent child birth for four months straight.
anyhow -- yep- that's my plan for the day today -- have a look at this video here on this link -- fun stuff i say :O
wish me luck though -- when it works, it's wonderful. when it doesn't ? it's a very expensive disappointment.

Epidural Steroid Injections for Back Pain and Leg Pain Video

anyhow-- my mothers day was fabulous. painful for the most part -- but i was treated like a queen all day. i got cards, flowers, a wonderful brunch, soulkid watched a movie in bed with me while i recovered from the drive and the way too much food, then soulman joined me when she got bored. then we got up and watched some tv when our old bones couldn't lay down any longer. and i can't tell you about the rest of the evening -- but it was not disappointing. :> bwa hahahaha

i hope all you moms -- and dads -- and everyone else out there had just as good days as i did.
tell me about it k?
i must go get ready to be the voo-doo doll of the day-- then of course i have to spend some time sleepin off the sleepy meds. after that- i'll be floatin around somewhere.
see you peeps later--

happy days in your worlds my peoples-

Saturday, May 8, 2010

it's 10 PM, do you know where your SOUL is?

i do-- fallin asleep tryin to post. i know i have been MIA for a few days-- it can't be helped. i'm busy. and i can't stop. soon as i can stop to catch my breath-- y'all will be the first to know-- and get the run down on the update of the goin in ons arounds soul land.
not really much major -- good - or - bad. just a lot of playin catch up. and not doin too bad .

anyhow-- i shall try to find time to get up to date with y'all tomorrow. at least somewhat.
if not-- happy mothers day to all my mom friends :))

have happy spoiled mommy days -- i believe i will. :))
g'nite :))

Thursday, May 6, 2010

just so ya know ---

no folks, i haven't fallen off the face of the earth or anything. i am still kickin. somewhat. sort of. ok, not really. i'm actually still attempting to recover from a couple days of a pitiful attempt at a quick spring cleaning of the soul-crib. thank God for the soul clan, they helped in a huge way in making the house presentable for my sis, and a long time family friend to arrive. they came on, i don't even remember what day, but left yesterday morning. the cats flew in from London to DFW on ummm... tuesday, i think, then they left early yesterday a.m. well, sorta early. they got back to her place, making pretty good time. the lot of us were sooo exhausted i think we all coulda used a stay in some sort of friggin 'home' with zero responsibilities for a few days. i know i still need a day or two to fully recuperate. i was busy all day yesterday. and all of this morning so far. i'm hoping to be done with all of my 'have to do's, very very soon, and jump back into my jammies for the rest of the day- and spend it in bed til it's time to pick up the soulkid at school. YES you did hear that right . AT SCHOOL. her first day was yesterday, and we are all thrilled. even her. i'm so happy. she is too. she only has 4 or 5 weeks left of school til summer break, but there is a three night a week option of night school. she is willing to go... it's ME who is worried that she will get overwhelmed and overloaded-- and burnt out, and let her grades fall. i asked about going one night a week-- that is a possibility-- i want to see how things go this first week though. then of course there's summer school -- but wouldn't ya know it-- BOTH classes -- are at times BOTH of our trips are planned. dammit. so. we shall see how that goes. but i will tell ya she's glad to be in school-- occupied , and "not a bum". as she called it.

SMOCHAS better and more detailed blog post of our visit .. i just don't have the brain power for such things :((

anyhow peeps-- i just wanted to check in with ya and say hello. so. hello peeps.
hope all is well in your worlds. i'm just tryin to catch up and chill in mine. things are beginning to look a little bit like my own world again. i don't know how to react. :))

Saturday, May 1, 2010

photo challenge pix -- circles -- from the depths

someday, i'll remember, and 'be prepared'. but, once again, i ran to my files for a quick save:

Brenda Photo Challenge -
Topic, Circles -

me n soulkid -
actin a fool
and likin it too :))

el yard boy, en transporte`

my eldest nephew -
need i say more? :))

the greatest cat in the world -
jitterbug waitin on santa - 2009

my soul-fam with micky mouse
circa 2002 - ish

there ya have it -- circles round soul land

happy weekends to ya peoples

of to see yo pictchyas now :))