Saturday, May 31, 2008

anybody got a crane i could borrow ?

i cannot move today. i think i have waaay overdone it this passed week or two, and i must stop. my body is screaming at me over my stupidity , and has been since last night . ooooh. where is that truck that hit me??

ok.. as for the tournament ??? it didn't go so well for us . some people did pretty good, but not many. but the biggest sack was almost ten pounds, and the big bass was almost five pounds.. (that was the same guy) we didn't stick around for the results of who got paid-- but i imagine that guy got first. anyhow-- we weighed a bag of 2 fish lol -- both caught by soulman.. one barely measured legal.. just over 14 inches. and the second was a small spot. our total weight was just shy of 2 pounds. we only weighed just for fun, we knew we didn't have a chance.
right after we weighed our fish we left. we had never been so ready to leave a tournament. usually it's one or the other-- and usually it's him.. last night it was both of us, and for once , i think i was ready to leave before he was. my back locked up on me before we were into the second hour. once that happened, it was pretty much over for me. i tried to sit down and fish.. and that's a huge pain the ass. plus it was windy again, so we were both gettin hang up after hang up-- which is also a huge pain in the ass. usually we try to get out of em, and save the tackle.. we were so --- whatever-- not into it i guess, we got to the point that we would just break our line off or cut it, rather than fight with it. strange night.
as for me, i caught 2, maybe three fish-- too small to weigh-- i guess it was two-- one itty bitty bass..and a perch. the bass made us laugh. ignore the hair-- but here he is:

so anyhow-- yep... i really must take a break from fishin. it is gonna be very hard for me to do that. i woke up this morning in more pain than i have been in in a while. everywhere. and so tired too. i just can't be this physical, every damn day. it's wearin on me.
brad mentioned that it was a good thing i aint gamblin..... how true that is. my mom was into gambling-- i think that's the only reason i'm careful about that. i do have fun when i gamble , but boy-- it scares me. seriously. i could get addicted to just about anything. but i watched my mom do some really crazy shit in order to gamble... and i watched her suffer for it too. so i suppose fishin is a lot safer -- at least for my family. i'm payin for it now tho. i may end up havin hubby take my fishin stuff to storage for a week or two tho LOL.. at least until my body can get some rest. talk about intervention lol.

soooo.... ya... even tho he was tired, and i was in pain, we had fun, but it was a tough one for both of us. if we were smart we woulda just packed it up and left early-- but of course there was money on the line. we paid to fish, and sometimes when the fish aren't bitin, even one fish could win it all.. ya just never know . so we stayed. i think we may take a break for a while tho. but-- we will see about that.
i know for now-- i need to slow down for a while. lest i collapse. or cry.

AC this means it's YOUR turn for me to fish thru YOU-- get out there !!!

thanks for the good luck wishes everybody-- sometimes it just aint our turn.

but hey-- some of the guys out there are startin to get used to me.. a couple even were nice to me :))

see you folks later-- my computer is loaded with viruses or somethin and i have to figure out how to fix it... "corrupt files".. anyone know??? i have windows vista.. HELP ???

happy satahday

Friday, May 30, 2008



WOO HOOOO !!!!!!!

wish us luck..

see ya latah :))

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

back to the ole grind--

howdy folks--
happy tuesday to ya--
which is sort of a monday for most.

i don't have a whole lot to say right now-- or a whole lot of time to say it anyhow.

i got to a few pages this mornin, and did get a chance to reply to comments here... but that's about as far as i'm gonna get for now. so-- my last two posts-- are fully updated ! woo hoo-- so if you commented here on either of them.. i talked to y'all in my boxes. see? i'm tryin to get back on track. let's see if i don't derail again.

so anyhow-- i have a lot to do today-- but when i'm done--prolly late this afternoon, i shall get back to my cruisin etc. -- and talk in YOUR boxes- :)) -- and hopefully mine too

but, before i get to my business of the day-- let's see what i have to say here real quick.

well, really not much-- that or i just can't think right now, for the ever growing mental list in my head at the moment.

soulkid had quite the emotional day yesterday, which in turn made it real hard for me to process much in my own. i can't-- or won't blog it. it really isn't my stuff to put here for all to see ya know. it is her stuff-- or at least that of her "world".. if that makes sense. but it was hard for all of us. especially her. and for us as parents.... ?? --- it is something that happens-- that can paralyze a parent-- and make you only thank God that it wasn't any worse-- for anyone involved.

i'm sorry that is so cryptic.. i won't go any further with it-- because it will only confuse you.
hell i'm confused. i don't know everything that happened.. but i know enough to be upset, worried, and grateful. for more than just my own kid.

ok .. i better move away from that topic....


i broke down last night, and cleaned out all the rod lockers and storage boxes on the boat .. i couldn't stand the thought of one more tournament like the last. i couldn't believe the amount of trash , extra life jackets, and just misc STUFF that just was NOT needed on that boat. i mean a - i don't know maybe a fifty ft extension cord? WTH? talk about bein in the way! there was like twenty , two year old full water bottles..not to mention as many empty ones... it was just awful. but it is very nice now-- and everything will be easy to get to now. anything not required on that thing-- is gone now! a trip to the carwash-- and a nice new carpet-- would be terrific.. but i know the carpet will have to wait-- the carwash can happen tho-- :))

i hope that soulman learned from the last tourney also-- NOT to put his ginormous tackle bag in the pathway during a night tourney-- at least without letting me know it's there... good lord -- i coulda broke a leg on that thing! that hurt ! lol.. i'm sure it woulda been funny if he actually saw it tho-- :)) but all he knew was he heard a big crash.. and a LOT of cussing ! :))

i don't think we will be fishin the next one.. he has to work on saturday-- and we usually dont get home til 1130 or 12 on those nights-- but i'lll let ya know if he feels energetic.
you know-- we have fished three tourneys together now-- and 2 out of three we won money. that's pretty good odds. what a team eh? makes it hard to pass up. plus it's fun!

welp-- i spose i should go-- soulkid is up-- and she is quite the crabapple. i am trying to be nuthing but supportive to her through "this".. and she wants to be all grouchy to ME about it.....

i guess we all get that way sometimes when bad things happen in our worlds and we dont want to talk about it-- but geesh. it just makes me wanna be somewhere else when i get talked to in one word blunt responses.

how bout you?

maybe i'll go fishin before i start my day :))
sure was fun yesterday!!

i'm so irrisponsible...
i swear it's an addiction!!!!

Monday, May 26, 2008

clownin around with the fishies ---

hello again....

oh yuk.. that just put that 100 year old Lionel richie song in my head that i have always hated. what happened to my redneck greeting? the good ole howdy folks-- or somethin...
oh well.. what's done is done... at least it's not jingle bells or "the sun'll come out
to- mor- roooowww."

LOL... can y'all tell yet that i'm just TRYIN to drive you insane?

ok, anyways... i just thought i would jump in here real quick with my fishin report o' the day-- just in case you care :))

and jamie/simonsays.. might-- cuz when i got back, she had left a note , sayin for me to catch her a big one. ( i have like NO memory-- she might have said giant-- hell , i don't know.. but she did want a big fish-- so, i thought i'd post him for her.)

and, i figured-- well hell, while i was at it, why not just post em all... so i did.

i lost more than i caught today. that has never happened to me at the pond before. lakes-- yes. the pond..never. i actually saw three of them.. watched them shake loose, and flop off right there before my very eyes... it was sickening. we're talkin two pound bass. just enough to make me barf. ok, not barf. cry. ok, not cry. mad. yep, it made me mad. and i ended up fishin way too long because of it.

but anyhow--- in order to not be mad and in a bad mood while fishin, i was actin silly when i would catch a fish. as you can see--

i had a really good time, i just wore myself down .. it was real cloudy and windy-- but not so windy that it made me mad... it was really nice out today. i couldn't force myself to leave til i was in physical agony. that's pretty bad isn't it? but hey-- it was fun.

if i would have changed to a sharper hook sooner-- i just might have had those three i lost-- i lost them in the first twenty minutes i was there-- i woulda had six like these...or bigger. sickening, i say .

here's your fish Jamie !!!

well hell---

i have been up for almost three hours already-- and made my rounds-- well most of em anyhow--
seems everyone is sleeping--or perhaps out of town maybe ? but nobody is cruisin least not around here.
sooooo... all's quiet on the soul - front-- so i think i'm gonna go fishin!
i've already drank almost a pot of coffee, and done some chores even.
not much else to do... unless i wanna actually get down to the scrubbin of floors and toilets-- and y'all know i just don't even wanna go there. at least NOT at 630 a.m. --- hell, i never wanna go there.. lol.
anyhow-- it is on my list-- but not this early.

i do seem to be getting somewhat caught up on my horrid list. it has done nuthin but grow and piss me off, and make me feel worthless-- for weeks, but over the last week or so, i have managed to pick away at it, little by little and actually am beginning to see some progress. and that makes me feel much better about things.

well-- except my blog. man - o -man. it's a sad state of affairs around here as far some of these posts go aint it? i just don't know what to say about that. not much more to say than i already have. all i can do is try to be better about it. anyone whose been around a while knows by now-- when i don't feel good, or don't do much-- the writing suffers-- big time.
i hate it as much as you do. so i'm workin on it. and i'm workin on me too. just tryin to get myself to feeling better. and thinkin better. my frame of mind ya know. i think all the recent med issues have once again got me all stressed out or something-- then made me all tired -- or something. then all my important things.. like home and business have been neglected.. then it pressured me mentally-- and you know how all that snowballs a person.
or maybe just me? but anyhow-- i'm sorry if i have been too whiney-- or nonsensical around here. i know some of these posts could have been half as long and said as much as they needed to.

and as for y'all.. you know what they say about good intentions....
i try tho-- dammit. one day i get to everyone-- the next i get to one or two-- or none at all.
it sure isn't personal.. and i hope it doesn't bother any of you as much as it bothers me.

so anyhow---
the sun is up--the weather is fine-- and i am outta heah!

happy monday to you all...

tell me what your plans are for today!
whatever you're doin-- be safe and have FUN!

Sunday, May 25, 2008

title challenged

howdy folks---

i don't know where to begin this post-- it doesn't matter really where i begin .. it is gonna be a whine-fest regardless. i prolly shouldn't even write at all.. but i have some splainin to do--

so i spose i will start here:

i woke up this morning-- well, that's a given, right-- cuz if i didn't wake up-- you wouldn't be readin this--

so anyhow-- i do my morning duties of puttin dogs out, checkin on kids, gettin my coffee, all that stuff..
i get on my computer--- and what is the first thing i notice?

ALL my bookmarks are mysteriously GONE! ALL of them.
first thought?

kids!!! -- thing 1 and thing 2 have gotten on my laptop in the night-- and did "something" and deleted-- not only my bookmarks-- but the entire toolbar thing too-- not that i hadn't attempted to get rid of in a way they .. (maybe they) -- did me a favor-- but the google and yahoo toolbars are also-- mysteriously GONE. WTF???

so what do i do-- i suspiciously go thru my history, of course-- i find no evidence of any sites that i didn't go to myself-- BUT i do know enough to know that they could have deleted the sites and they went-- IF in fact they are guilty.

but anyhow-- i am simply baffled about this. any computer gurus know if or how this coulda happened "on it's own? shut down? hmm..

so anyhow-- it's not really that big of a deal-- EXCEPT that i had some blogs linked in my bookmarks-- that i DON"T have in my links on my blog. SO , if you have a blog that i read, and i happen to not visit --- it's because i don't know how to get there. so please let me know .ugh.

i really don't feel up to accusing or arguing with the kids today about something i cannot prove they had a part in ya know. even tho i think they did. it just isn't worth it. we all know computers have a mind of their own. sometimes.

ok-- that's enough for that part.

next-- on the whine list?

it sucked.
not in any kind of bad way. i mean nothing bad happened. it's just that nothing happened -- at all. i slept--and i slept---and i slept.
i woke up a couple times-- only to fall asleep again.. had to be the meds? i don't know. i woke yesterday with a terrible headache-- meds helped--but made me tired-- i didn't have enough sleep anyhow--so knew i'd need a nap-- but man... not to nap all damn day--and night.
so-- the day passed me by-- i accomplished nothing. i did nothing... and because of it-- my ass hurts today!
part of that tho--is due to getting bounced around on the boat friday night tho too. i have kind of a bony ass-- and rough water isn't very kind the next day --- to my butt, i mean. :))

i woke up this morning.. a bit tired, but it only took a cup or two of coffee to help that. for now i feel pretty good.. overall, at least. i have a ton of crap to catch up on... but y'all know me-- i want to go fishin. i hope to find time...and energy for a little of both.

i need a cattle prod to use on my child. anything short of abuse isn't gonna do that girl a bit of good in the motivational department.
anyone remember the drug commercial?
"i learned it from watching you dad!"
could it be MY fault that the child won't clean her room..feed her animals, or bring her dirty clothes to the laundry room..rather than throw them in her closet?
someone tell me it is not me. tell me it's a phase-- a ten year long PHASE. :))
even if it's a lie-- i need some moral support here.
i know i'm too easy on her-- but somethin just has to give
or i'm gonna crackup!

anybody got any cheese for my whine????
i'll take brie, and grapes!!!

happy sunday safe today--and have FUN!!

Friday, May 23, 2008

i'm amazed at how boring one week can be sometimes

happy friday folks-- it's finally the weekend-- sorta--
bout time eh?
i know lotsa peeps who've been lookin forward to today. actually the end of the day-- but hopefully that will come fast.
for all of us who want it to.

i was sittin here tryin to think of what to write about-- cuz we all know how exciting my life can be . i got nuthin . so i scrolled down some to see if i needed to update on anything. i did find a thing or two-- but in the process-- i realized-- my gawd-- i am one boring gal. not always-- sometimes, i can even make myself laugh-- but man, sometimes-- i even want quit reading my own page. y'all are awesome for puttin up with my do nuthin-say nuthin weeks, and days. seems this was a big ole cry baby week. quite forced writing too at times. sorry.

so anyhow-- i need to do somethin about that. what that will be.. i'm not sure about yet. but somethin exciting needs to happen around here. (ya right) but i'll try.

however--- there are a couple things i can toss in here for now..

tonight is our fishing tournament--- i am hoping that since i got a little fishing in , i'll be more ready for it this time. the lake really is different than the pond-- and my confidence , not as high there. but now that i am on a mission to show-up those grouchy guys-- i am hoping to do better. maybe not win-- although it would be real nice-- i just want to get some good fish. that lake has never been good for me though..and we used to live by it. fished it all the time, and i have never done well on that lake. i hope tonight is my night. maybe if it isn't a full moon, and my phone doesn't ring constantly-- it will be at least a little better. let's hope so.

and , speaking of the phone---- i got the call-back, on the abdominal ultrasound yesterday. exactly what i expected. they found nothing wrong. it's just the weirdest thing. i'm grateful that there is nothing wrong. but i still wonder why i was in so much pain. i swear it ranked first or second on my lifes scale of pain.. for days. yet they found nothing. well... they did of course find my frickin pancreas... :)) dumbasses.

so anyhow-- i spose today i need to finish with my house and business etc.. so i can fish tonight without worrying about what i "didn't " do. or shoulda done. or need to do. no slackin off today.
sushi's EEVEE bite is healing fairly well. she won't leave it alone though. it would probably be scabbed over by now--but she licks it all the time. but it isn't a gaping hole anymore at least. she didn't learn anything from whatever happened either, apparently. she still antagonizing eevee. for no reason. i am surprised at how sort of whimpy eevee can be sometimes. she could kill any one of these animals at will.. yet she is more afraid of them than they are of her. not as much as she was at first, but she still cowers and runs off when they challenge her-- but she will stand up to sushi more often..and that worries us. but eevee never starts it. sushi thinks she is the queen of the castle here... especially if she is on my lap and eevee comes over for some pets or to play-- sushi goes all badass on her-- i hope she doesn't get her face ripped off for it someday.

well... that's about all i can come up with at this time of day.
perhaps i will update later if i have time.. if not-- check back tomorrow for the tourney report--- and wish us luck. even if it's just big bass-- big bass gets paid.. and even that is shameful if a girl gets it. last week the 6 pounder paid out 90.00. we could use that-- on top of a little pay back ...

i know-- resentment is never good for the soul--- but i spent years in the navy being treated this way-- having to prove myself etc-- up against men.. so i guess it's just kinda comparable to that?? maybe. either way-- i'll get mine-- and they'll get theirs. maybe not tonight-- but one of these nights. :))

see y'all later

happy weekend--

Thursday, May 22, 2008

almost 9 am and overcast-- hmmm -- updated TWICE/W-pix --

i have "a list" a half mile long-- but the weather is perfect for fishing. where do my responsibilities lie?? holy crap. if i remember correctly-- and i may not-- i don't think i have been fishing since friday. :(( i sure have wanted to tho. wait-- i think i did on the weekend--- but i got skunked. so it didn't count. i should go. at least for a while. dontcha think? yep. i do.
but i have a lot to do. ugh. decisions decisions .

anyhow-- i guess whatever i decide-- what gets done , gets done, and what doesn't can wait. whaddayathink.?

i finally went to wally hell yesterday. i swear, it has been weeks since i went grocery shopping. hubby has picked up things here and there-- but a real grocery day has been desperately required around here for a long time. so i broke down and shopped. another price hike on just about everything was noticed... and i was pissed about that. i tried to be frugal.. so i skipped many of the junky stuff i usually get-- which i of course heard about later... "you didnt get any snaaaacks"... whaaaa.
i also didn't get hardly any meat-- maybe one or two things of meat.
damn man. it sucked. we were down to nearly nuthin again. i did the best i could, and really thought i was gonna walk outta there at near 100.00 .... did i???
ummm, NO. did i come close to 100???

ummm NOT.
did i almost have a fuckin stroke?
uhhhh yep.. yes i did.
i even tried to find a new credit card we just got-- cuz i went soooo over my budget-- it was find a different way to pay-- or skip a bill, that was already lat-- almost a week late. did i find said card-- NOPE. and i had some woman sighing behind me-- so i just paid off the regular bank-- knowing i was in big trouble.

know how much i spent? on almost nuthing???
close to 240.00.
i do not know HOW either. but it really sucked. no junk food, little meat, wth???

i did get a carton of smokes-- 33.00, but that doesn't make it 240.00.

i double checked my rct when i got home.. i was double charged on one thing-- but it was only 3.88 that doesn't put me over 200 either. but somethin has to be off somewhere . i gotta go over it again... and yep-- i am gonna go get my 3.88 back. cuz i'm cheap like that. :))


where was i???


i have , literally, a stack of medical bills... SIX inches high. can we say "screwed" ?
i must sift through them today. i'm pretty sure several are duplicates, so once i organize them they won't look so scary. but i know some are very high.. from the seizure. even after insurance--- omg.

yesterday i had to go through a mess with my insurance over my eye glasses. they were tryin to say they weren't gonna pay for them.. so i had to do a buncha stuff for that. that was real fun. not. but it shouldn't be a problem now. i hope.

well anyhow-- i guess y'all don't wana hear all my boring crap o the day. do ya.

i reckon if i manage to get in some fishin time i will let ya know.. if i catch anything. i just think i need to take care of my business stuff and the house before i play. i'm behind on everything. and everyone. i did manage to make my rounds this morning-- which makes me feel somewhat better... i hate to get behind with yall. you know that. i hate the guilt's--

sooo-- i guess that answers the fishin question.. work it is.

catcha later peoples

have great days in your worlds today--

10:10 a.m.


obviously, i went fishin......
obviously , i caught fish. :))
i had planned to go for an hour.. just to get it outta my system. i'm an addict. i stayed for two hours. thing was.. i got two fish-- about that size. that one was 2 lbs. the next was 2.3 pounds-- but the camera wigged out and the pics didn't take on the second fish. not sure why. operator error i'm sure.
they were sure fun to catch. but , right before i got em i was about ready to leave and get back to my errands and chores, etc. but after two of those? i just couldn't--yet. so i kept fishin.. for an hour-- and didn't get any more.

so i left finally, intending on being productive.. well, i picked up a rx.. and a few things at the store.... then , when i got home .. i ate. we all know i shouldn't eat lunch when i have things to do---- yep-- i fell asleep. dammit. i did manage to get roast goin, and some laundry started first-- but that's about it. the clan is home now. soulman just got in a few minutes ago--it was kinda funny the way he reacted to smellin dinner cookin. like it something he'd never experienced before. he said "what's that smell"?? umm.. dinner. (hmm.. it HAS been a while-- too long apparently) i really do need to cook more.

anyhow.. guess i'll go throw somethin at sushi now. :)) not really, but her barkin at every little thing is makin me crazy--- anyone want her?


Wednesday, May 21, 2008

don't hate me----

i'll make my rounds tomorrow-- i promise...
it got late on me-- then we watched idol-- now i am wiped out and have to take my sore, old lady self to bed. i didn;t get to your pages today-- sorry.
i did get most my errands done tho-- so i will have more -- sit on my butt time tomorrow.

david cook won on american idol. i kinda didn't want him to-- so he would get an album out sooner-- but he cried and was real happy to good for him. hopefully they won't ruin his style...

g'nite-- hope y'all sleep well..
see ya soon--

so much for havin a routine

mornin folks..

it's 555 a.m. i reckon that's better than 333 huh. one thing about that tho? it's alarm hell time around here. and aside from that, i have only been up for about ten minutes. which also means, i haven't had any time to wake up , or think about anything yet. all i've done is put sushi out and in, get coffee, and get settled in on the computer. and listen to hubbys' alarm go off about four times. ugh. i'm still tired.
my whole routine is off lately. morning and night. for two weeks or so. not sure why. several reasons i guess. (oh great, now soulkids alarm begins.) lovely. i don't have snooze on my alarm. if i miss my alarm-- i miss it. there is no -- five or six times for me. but i usually get up before it goes off anyhow.

anyways. my routine? wth? early to bed , early to rise, smoke and choke, chat online, cruise, do what i need to do, want to do, have to do, get home in time for the child, and hubby, and most days .. look and feel like i've accomplished something.

lately... NOT. my sleep habits are all kindsa screwed up -- some nights in bed by 10-- some im up til 12 or 1-- some days up at 330 some up at 530 ish. ugh. some days i nap some i don't.

and yesterday-- omg. the night before.. i had a new muscle relaxer from the doc. it said take at bedtime-- so i did. i thought it was weird to take it at bedtime , cuz its not bedtime that i need to not be in pain, but i did bedtime anyhow-- but damn man -- i felt drugged all damn day long. i got deep into some paperwork stuff. i drug out my file cabinet-- looking for my VA loan .. for a house.... it's here somewhere, but i haven't seen it for years. anyhow --- it was about noon before i got the first file box sorted and organized-- it looks mahvelous btw, and i found stuff i haven't seen in years-- but of course not what i was lookin for. but by the time i got thru that file box.. i was starved. so i took a break. to eat. all i ate was a salad. after that i got of course got tired. somethin about me and lunch. i still don't get it. so i leaned back in the chair, and i was out. i woke up when soulkid got home at 330 , she was walkin in the door. she was trying to talk to me-- and i could NOT stay awake for nothin, i kept tryin to wake up. but could not. next thing i knew-- it was after 6 pm ! i woke up-- after several more failed attempts. i finally got up-- and i didn't see her-- or either of the dogs. hubby wasn't home from work yet. i got up and looked for (them). i was afraid she had gone somewhere, and maybe let the dogs out.
when i checked.. i found the dogs-- and soulkid was also asleep--in her bed.

i think the heat-- and the fact that everyone was up til after 1 the night before had something to do with it.
but that pill i took , ugh. usually i need to double dose on just about anything for it to even do it's minimal job.. much less kick my butt... now im afraid to even take it again-- even though it did make my neck feel better. i just can't win ya know. not when it comes to meds, docs and that kinda thing.

so anyways. i was at least somewhat alert and alive when soulman got home about 8ish last night. and we watched recorded american idol and hells kitchen. which were both good. only made me feel like a fool... cuz when i posted about these shows the other day-- i said ai was over -- like last week.. and it's not -- til tonight. hmm. brain dead much?
i still don't want david cook to win it-- and i don't think he will. but that's ok.

welp-- i guess that's about it-- for my boring morning.
i'll let ya know if anything interesting happens..and i'll be cruisin and catchin up after i get caught up with stuff here-and everyone is gone.

happpy humpday!

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

tagged by EE

i slept half the day away-- so here's a meme..

Four, Four, Four, Four... from life unscripted

A) Four places that I go to over and over:

Fishin, mall hell, post office box, doctor hell

B) Four people who e-mail me (regularly):

anyone who wants me to have a larger penis, :0 – blogger comment updater - my sis, and Jamie/simonsays

C) Four favorite places to eat:

frescos’ (a local mex joint)—chipotle , outback, and my new fave Carrabbas

D) Four places I would rather be right now:

fishing,- with my sis, - or with Jamie, - or squandering money – on something –without worryin about it.

E) Four people I think will post their own "4,4,4:

smocha- simonsays- yankee- and AC :0

(and anyone else who wants it--)

F) Four TV shows I watch all the time:

when they are on--- survivor, hells’ kitchen, American idol, and then there’s any crime or medical show documentary. Ie- crime 360- mystery diagnosis.

Monday, May 19, 2008

the neverending monday has ended

finally-- !!!
we have air again.. woo hoo...

the air guys showed up finally-- guess what time? 9 p.m. yep. i started calling around 6 i think. and i wasn't very happy either. but i had expected to at least have heard something, so by that time, i was thinking they weren't coming. and i was roasting. and pretty pissed off. finally, soulman got a hold of them. i called 3 or 4 times, left messages everything-- not a word back-- hubby calls-- and gets called right back. wth??? first the tourney--i'm ousted cuz i'm a woman.. is this the same type of deal? that's what i was thinkin. but anyhow- hubby didn't get off work til 7. they told him they would be here at 8-- they showed at 9 -ish. we were all a bunch of bitches by then. and soulkid had a friend over to stay the night--"to work on a project". suuure. but with 11 days of school left--who really cares. but by 9 or 10 o'clock it occurred to me-- why the hell didn't you stay at HER house? with air conditioning? hmmm... soulkid didn't know--and her friend said because her mom was annoying. well hell-- everyones mom is annoying.. at least it's cool and annoying there. i offered to take them over there , but they didn't want to. man i DID. :))
anyhow-- they DID manage to fix the cooler. at first they thought it was the thermostat, so changed it. NOT. turned out to be some kind of relay or somethin. they left at 11 pm. ugh. but hey-- at least it works. i just hope it keeps workin. i was literally moments away from goin to get a motel room. even the animals were miserable.

so anyhow. the week turned out to be off to a not so terrible start afterall. at least tomorrow i can say that.

we have air :))

i have no more drs' this least for now.

i killed my fly infestation today... with wasp spray--works wonders if you ever end up with such a problem. :))

and-- i have nothing on my schedule for tomorrow. i can or cannot do anything i want to tomorrow . right now i don't know what that will be-but i will fill you in when i decide.

anyways-- here it is.. midnight almost--again, and i am still up---again.
any bets on what time i wake up?
who says 330?
who says 530?
any for 6?

my alarm is set for 530. but that never matters. i could set it for 9 and wake up at 3.
i bet i'm up before the alarm... we shall see.

anyhow--- i was tryin to leave you on a positive note and here comes "debbie downer"

my nephew called me that a while back when i went to chicago.. LOL -- but not just me-- smocha too. we were "debbie downers".

that was an odd trip for those who missed it. actually, i don;t think i wrote a lot of the details here-- but ya-- i think it needed some better planning. and definitely a better hotel room..without pools of blood, and other unpleasant surprises. :))

ok-- anyhow-- i'm goin ta bed--- i shall see y'all tomorrow.


pass the prozac!!!

OMG what a day! and it aint over yet---anyone know when the sun will set ? my gawd it's hot . 100 degrees today. and no air conditioning. aint life grand? !!

ok, that's out of my system.

i of course didn't get any specific details on anything at either doctor today. i'm glad i didn't expect any. i learned my lesson on that one though. i don't really know what to think or expect though either.

the scan lady couldn't tell me nuthin.

and as for neuro-- that one was a bit weird. he did an exam..with the sharp/dull thing.. ya know? well, i have had docs do that before-- a few times--- well.. today was the first time ever-- that it felt different on each side. especially my face. wth does that mean? the whole left side of my body could feel stuff stronger than the right side. BUT my face i could barely feel the pointy thing at all on the left side. friggin weird. weirdest thing? i asked HIM.. THE DR>
"what does that mean?"
know what he said?
"i don't know".
can i just scream?
right now?


he gave me meds.. made a follow up appt in a month.. and i know nuthin. i do know he will review my last MRI of my back and neck..and go from there. so you'll know--when i know.


holy moly it's a monday

hi peeples--

dare i say happy monday?

sure i dare-- happy monday! to you---
i hope it's a decent day for me too-- but to be honest-- i aint feelin too chipper right now. it was yet another 330 morning for me. and man i tell ya i really tried for it NOT to be this time around. i'm
supposed to be fasting
as we speak... for a --yes, another, belly scan this morning. ugh. gawd. help me. am i though. umm. no. i am not. i would be. IF the extra sleeping pill woulda done its job last night, and allowed for the extra hour or two of sleep last night--but did it. umm, obviously not.
so-- i am drinking coffee. black. and don't plan on 2/3 a pot this morning, or do i figure that any bit of a couple cups or so, would be "gone" by 11 am anyhow. so who cares. obviously not me , at this point. it's not an actually "stomach" scan scan anyways. they are checking my pancreas -- i guess. they are so very informative, these people, ya know.
last time we talked all they said was the ct "didn't show my pancreas".. or whatever.
we ALL KNOW it's there--somewhere. geesh.

when they called about that-- i was at dinner out with hubby--obviously didn't have my calender with me, so i just ok'd a appointment for today-- with no way to know if it was "open" or not. well, whenever-- a day or so later-- i get a reminder call from my neuro doc-- i have an appointment with them today also! lovely. 1045 for the ultrasound-- and 330 for the neuro. just peachy. ya know i go into defensive mode for any doc appointment right. so yep-- waking at 330-- two appointments on the way-- behind in all my business and errands-- cranky as hell...ugh. i'm not looking forward to any bit of this.

and-- are y'all ready for the kicker? i feel i can toss this one in now-- seein as today is the day i should -- key word SHOULD find out something about it-- the AC guys SHOULD be BACK today too. my air conditioner quit-- yes QUIT again on friday-- if not thursday... and it has been one hot mo-fo out here. (it blows HOT air/and has the heater smell) - i have not wanted to bring it up on here-- cuz i knew once i mentioned it-- i would do nuthin BUT mention it.. for days. (motha was lucky enough for a small rant last night :))
it's killin us. but you know- bein US -- it would happen on a weekend. so there wasn't a damn thing we could do about it. we had to simply turn it OFF, and open windows. and really that did nuthin. ok it helped a little, but not much at all. false hope? i don't know. it's not a breaker switch ..or anything that a person with no knowledge of such things such as ourselves could deal with. and really, it made for some crabby souls around on the weekend. ugh. so,the a/c guys are supposed to come fix it today-- but i will believe that when i see it. honestly-- i don't expect to see it-- not today, at least.

on a good note-- we have decided to fish the tournament next friday night. sweet revenge--i hope.
hubby knows a couple guys this time who will be fishin it--so it should be a little less awkward at weigh in-- at least there will be a couple peeps that will be civil towards us.; they know me too-- and don't hate me. :)) one of them is his regular fishin partner for the other tourneys he has been fishin. he's an alright guy-- just a little uptight when he doesn't catch fish.
but that's alright. anyhow-- we are hoping to catch some good fish this time, and put these asshats in their place this time. and really are hoping for a better time. i know i'm bringin bug spray this time--- the gnats were a bitch -- did i mention that ? anyhow-- i already told my child not to call every ten minutes. so that should help. i hope. doesn't mean we will win money-- i just want some weighable fish-- bigger than "tinY"

welp-- i don't guess i have i have anything else to cry about-- i mean say. :))
well.. i do-- i just won't. yet . maybe i'll do that later. :))

hope y'all have happy days in your worlds today--

i am merely hoping i can maintain my people skillz.. and not yell at anyone today. i really don't handle the business aspect of people very well anymore. there was a time that i did. but people just really piss me off these days-- and i kinda have a way of lettin em know that a bit too often.

i'm thinkn soulman "gets" to deal with the a/c guys today-- that would be wonderful-- but it's only if they show up while i'm gone-- or before he goes to work. (at 3) -ugh.. let's all just hope that happens-- cuz i really already know-- i don't deal with them well. and well-- we already know i don't handle doctors well either huh? hmm.. i think i'm just kinda screwed today. dammit.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

i'm video impaired -

mornin folks!

i finally got a video put together last night-- but seein as it has been almost a year since i made one like this-- i failed miserably. for some reason.. i cannot - for the life of me, remember how to time the music to the photos-- therefore--the last part of the song is gone. i had to clip/fade it.

i wanted to go to bed at like 8 last night-- i was so tiiiiired. but soulman got suckered into takin soulkid (s) to a concert-- poor him.. and me-- cuz when they do stuff like that-- i can never go to sleep until they are home. i was fallin asleep in my chair -- tryin to stay up. i didn't think i'd make it-- but i did. they got back about 1130-is. sooo-- another midnight night for this ole lady. ugh. it only gets worse with a teenager doesn't it? don't answer that. :))

so anyhow-- here's somethin to either entertain you -- OR -- bore the crap out of you---
either way-- i kinda like it-- i just wish i could remember how to do it the right way with the music and timing-- anybody know? damn senile !

well.. i am considering wakin up the ole soulman in a while-- after the morning aches and pains loosen up-- to go fishin-- at the pond-- i am realizing the boat seems to make for more work than it's worth sometimes-- even though i do love to be on the water. the pond seems to be less painful and more relaxing-- and for some reason-- i catch more fish there.

soooo-- here ya go-- on to a peek into soulsville-- (and "smochaville)--a first for some of you. and more recent pics for those who have watched the other ones.

(ore vois )


and happy sunday !

jupiter (only cuz i can't think right now- it's subject to change) from brezz on Vimeo.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Mcdonalds people can be feisty sometimes !

the title of this post is a direct quote from one of soulkids' friends as we were gettin food earlier. it just has to be the quote of the week... or is it just cuz i'm so tiahd, and out of it today? either way-- it struck me ridiculously funny, and i laughed like a mental patient. --- well, until the two of them began to shout obscenities out of the car window at some boys they knew from school.. then nothing was funny.

except THIS:

y'all just have to watch this video-- soulman found it somewhere-- it is so funny-- and fitting.


tango at the tourney

oh whaaat a beautiful mornin-- oh what a beautiful day--

oh wait-- that's the wrong song song of the day--

i mean...

no-bo-dy knooooows the tro-ubles i-ve seee-een..

haha.. na, it is't that bad... but man i tell ya. i'm too old for night tournaments. i had NO idea how hard it would be. not that it wasn't fun. we did have a good time. but there was just not enough daylight. once it got dark , it got really aggravating.

well... actually-- i was aggravated before we got there-- and this part only got worse. i am one whose phone like NEVER rings. i get calls from doctors, a couple times a week. no biggie. i normally get calls from my child -- checkin in , or wanting something.. normal, right.... and of course hubby calls , mostly on his way home from work or at lunch... 99percent of these calls are expected, or at least during the day, for the most part. BUT , i would bet ya , 200.00 that i don't even have-- which obviously is obviously a sure bet on my end-- my phone rang from the time we left the house til the time we left the tournament--- a MINIMUM of THIRTY times. now, people-- MY phone doesn't ring thirty times in a WEEK ! but it rang off the hook while i'm trying to fish a damn tournament. did it piss me off? YES. did it cost me fish? YES it did-- TWO of them. UGH.
and those are the ones that hit while i was ON the damn phone.. that doesn't count the ones i missed just out of the fact that my concentration was so off i couldn't think, or i had to waste five minutes with the phone three times every half hour. it was just sooo damn irritating. i was ready to throw my phone into the lake-- but soulkid had a friend over-- and they were here alone-- the kids mom had already called me once-- ugh-- i just am one of those peeps that always answer my phone-- worrying that it's soulkid-- or about soulkid-- or a parent-- or the school..ya know? so, i had to answer the phone.
(soulman won't answer his if he doesn't know the number-- me? if i don't know the number-- i think "somethings wrong". dammit-- i wish i could "relax".)

(holy crap people... i don't know what time i started this post-- but it is now- 10 a.m. UGH--- soulkid woke up shortly i got my lazy self up... and has talked me head off ever since NON-STOP. i am sooo not used to that. i am normally awake at least an hour or 2 or 3 before anyone. i don't have noise of any kind in that time-- and oh how i missed that this morning. my head is throbbing, my back is locked up-- and my hands are cramped up from so much fishing yesterday. now i have been forced to talk, nand endure the the loudness of soulmans tv. i think i should go hide somewhere-- but there's no where quiet to hide. maybe my closet? LOL )

ok anyhow-- let's see if i can get this damn thing wrapped up---
i don't even know where i left off.
i guess, last night eh?
yes we had fun. but i will admit it was more stressful than i anticipated. it ended later than i thought-- 1030 rather than 930. hell i'm usually asleep by 1030. most of the time.
the fishing was really tough. soulman got the biggest fish. he maybe weighed two pounds plus. i got the smallest-- he was soooo smalllll. i laughed for five minutes over that fish. he was a "spot".. and you can weigh a spot no matter the size-- normally, they have to 14 inches long. but this guy? LOL-- he could NOT have been more than FOUR inches long. THE smallest bass i ever caught in my life. it was hysterical. and yes.. we kept him for weigh in. (thinkin others would find it just as funny.. i'll get to that later tho)...
anyhow-- the big fish weren't bitin. not sure why, but it was tough. many boats blanked (zero fish)... but we did manage to get our five. we caught more-- and poor soulman had two really nice ones AT the boat when they shook off. it was sickening. my three i actually got in the boat-- were small and nothin to brag about. cept "tiny".. he was adorable.. but it was almost dark- and too much hassle to dig out the camera-- but i really wanted a pic of him.
anyhow. i did miss some good ones.. usually on the damn phone. UGH.
so anyhow-- once it got dark.. it just sucked. it got kinda cold-- for me. seems soulman never gets cold.. but i do-and i did. so i was uncomfortable, my phone was ringin every fifteen minutes, i couldn't see , which made casting a bitch. yes i know i am complaining. but bass fishing in the dark, is just tough. there must be an easier way. on the way home, it crossed my mind to try drop shotting.. which may or may not work.. cuz they were close to the bank.
anyhow-- can you tell i cannot concentrate to save my life right now?? sorry.

i'll fast forward to weigh in..
oh but first-- to top off the final frustration.. when we were heading to weigh in from our final fishin spot-- soulman went to lift the trolling motor-- and guess what happened? the friggin trolling motor rope BROKE! i don't know how he did it, but he managed to get the motor up--if not, we woulda been screwed. trapped out there--having to troll ALL the way back to the ramp-- it woulda took an hour. not only would we have missed weigh in.. but we woulda just been pissed. but he needs to fix that today. i'm so glad he can do things like that himself . somebody else would charge 50 bucks to put a new rope on that damn thing.

ok.. on to weigh in.

i have NEVER-- in all my bass fishin YEARS-- seen so many ASSHATS of fishermen in one place. it and they are usually jovial, and talkative and fun.. whether they catch fish or not-- they at least talk.. especially when you look at them, and speak. i knew-- and felt-- immediately , that i , as a woman, was NOT welcomed there. it happened maybe three or four times before i just shut my mouth, and realized that even though it was tough, and we didn't win any money-- there WILL be a next time...and i will show them that i can fish just as well or better than any of them. (well except maybe the guy that had a six - plus pounder). -- WHO btw-- i looked right at him, and said "wow, who's is that-- NOT ONE guy said a word.. not even him. anyone-- anyone, that i know who fishes-- would have said "that would be me-- or mine-- or whatever. who in their right mind would not brag about that fish? he looked right at me-- or should i say through me. it was like i didn't exist there at all. sooo awkward.
and as for "tiny"... man, woman, or child, would have found that fish hysterical. it was the cutes thing i have ever seen. they were frickin zombies. i know it is because i am a woman..and the only one there--and poor soulman got the same treatment-- i assume, because HE brought me there. oh how i wish we woulda won the damn thing.. just to piss em off even more.

see what i mean about not being able to think or concentrate etc.. i think i should just shut up for now-- i'm havin a tough morning.

i shall return later , hopefully my mind will clear, and i can focus by then.

until then... i will do some cruisin.. etc..and hopefully catch up with y'all.

Friday, May 16, 2008

it's a fishin friday -- (pt 2)

yep--i did go fishin this mornin
and i got FOUR fishies.
2 bass-1 perch-
and a nasty ass catfish.
i hate to touch catfish.

can ya tell i like this pose?
i do.
i used my new scales...
this guy weighed 2.7 pounds!
it'd be nice to get a few like that tonight eh?
(as for the rest the other bass was 1.9 lbs-
and the perch and cat- not worth the time )

as for this next shot-- i was like five feet away from him-
and once i saw him..
i knew it was time to go.

i do NOT like snakes!

anyhow-- i will cruise around later if i have time-- if not i will post the results of the tournament, and catch up in the morning---
wish us luck tonight !

(jamie-- you can still call-- i'll have my phone !)

too early friday babble

happy friday peoples---

a few minutes ago i had a slew of things to update you on , but i just drew a blank. surprised?? hmm, ya, me either. happens all the time doesn't it. well. i used to worry about that, but not so much anymore. after all the brain scans and crap-- i at least know it's not a tumor or anything anymore. still doubtin on the senile thing tho. i do wonder sometimes. i just surprise myself at my own bad memory. i can't imagine what some of y'all think. it's really strange sometimes. but not much i can do about it. in all reality, there is a lot i could contribute to it-- number one being the slew of meds i take. and have taken for a number of years. (anti -d's people-- not nuthin weird here)... but the way my mind works, i have a tendency to lean towards the worst-- and that being that my mom died (with) --not from-- altzheimers -- so of course, i tend to say that i'm senile a lot. since her death i avoid the word altzheimers..

anyhow... enough of that. we've established the fact that i can't remember my address or name at times.. a year ago... why bring that up again.. right? :))

ok.. moovin on.

i was trying to reply to some comments here this morning-- yep another early day again today-- .. and i was reminded of a few things...

one being med stuff goin on lately...

the CT-- from the other day-- i got a call back on that-- on.. umm.. wednesday i think. they said... the CT came back "ok". BUT, "they couldn't see--or find?? i don't remember which word.. my pancreas." isn't that weird? i said.. hmmm why not? i expected some type of answer-- such as ... swelling? umm.. or even perhaps.. because i was sooo constipated that i had crap wrapped around my entire insides? (on the xray they took on monday, .. sorry, i know that's not a nice visual-- but i really did.. :O ) ... but, know what she said? "i don't know." hmmm.. well, that's real nice. see why i hate the med "profession?" i really do think i would be a better doc than the people i PAY to help least i do RESEARCH! UGH.

soooo.. she says they will have to schedule me for an ultrasound of my pancreas. just peachy! i'm fairly sure that the pancreas is in the front of your belly .. and shouldn't cause lower SIDE pain. hmmm.. but okaaayyyy. (that is set up for monday... and i'm pretty sure they won't find anything-- again.) BUT-- i still believe something is goin on .. SOMEWHERE. the pain is not as severe as it was three or four days ago.. i can breathe, move and sleep now at least. it has become more of a runners cramp type in the beginning.

this kinda thing really pisses me off to no end ya know. i have things like this happen to me all the time. medical issues. mysterious pains, mysterious issues. but after i go through all fear and anxiety.. and hell of tests and MONEY... all comes back "OK".. except the symptoms.. and i am still left wondering. BUT.. the dr's .. and surely "others" are left thinking that i am a lunatic, hypochondriac.

WHICH i KNOW-- is not true. know how i know??? because-- the evidence of that lies in the lab reports. for one. for two-- it is also in the x-rays and bone scans.

just a couple months ago.. my red cells were near non existent--- NOW-- on monday-- they did labs-- and guess what?? the red cells are friggin NORMAL.. BUT the white cells are UP. WTF???

i just may have to go to nursing school myself, and learn about all this lab shit myself. and learn how to read scans and xrays and all this stuff on my own. i have lost -- i was teetering-- but i have NOW, lost ALL.. every spec-- of faith in the entire medical WORLD.

they NEVER seem to tell me anything more than i already know at the time. and i am sooo sick of paying for nothing. all they do is piss me off. how hard is it for them to answer questions.? such as.. hmm why cant they see the pancreas? umm..dunno. duh.
well hey dumbass.. i don't either--
umm.. why would the white count be up and the red back up when the white was normal and the red down, such a short time ago? uhhhh.. i dun-no.
well.. hey you asshat-- i don't either. that's what YOU get paid for isn't it? fucker !

do ANY of you really think an abdominal ultrasound, is gonna answer ANY of this?? or new labs in two weeks?

i DON:T. know what i think? i think the ultrasound MAY see a "normal pancreas... " i think they won't look at my side... the side that hurts, and cramps up--- so wont answer THAT question.... AND i truly expect-- DIFFERENT lab results AGAIN. maybe with the addisons' my labs change on some type of dietary basis? i'll have to google that.

OK.. ENOUGH medical bullshit--
BUT if any of you know any of this crap
help me out??

moooovin on...

I DIDN'T POST YESTERDAY(oops)---- cuz i was doin other stuff.

i actually did do some housework. mainly my desperately neglected kitchen. it looks mahvelous. altho-- i still need to clean my fridge , floor, and pantry. i also need to get something.. anything.. to store my friggin "stuff' in there... the design of that kitchen really really sucks. i have a lot of nik naks that i absolutely LOVE..cows, roosters, etc..that i have collected for YEARS.. that i can't even display in there-- cuz there's no where to put it all. and i MISS it. plus, there is nowhere for my pots and pans etc either. i don't know who designed that kitchen but it just sucks..there's not even a decent place to prep food when ya cook. maybe that's why i lost my cooking mojo?? i just hate my kitchen here.

i'm already wanting to move!!! i wish we could, i'm still not decorated or all the way unpacked here. i may never get that way either. the more we talk about it-- the more i realize the less time we have here-- we are gettin closer and closer to being able to buy a house. THAT excites me. i never thought we'd be at this point ever again. i thought we'd be renters for life. looks like we have about six more months-- according to our credit reports-- IF we can STOP using our credit cards...:(( i am my mothers daughter-- or would that be my husbands wife :))

ok... what else??

wednesday-- what did i end up doin?? it wasn't cleanin house, that's for sure. and my laundry is so backed up it's sad. i MUST do that today. i do mean TODAY! most has been washed.. but for some reason, has a funky smell. that mildewy musty smell. so it needs re-washed.. or at least re-dried with about two-hundred dryer sheets. UGH-- i hate it when that happens. PLUS io have about ten loads of dirty clothes. i hate laundry. have i mentioned that? ya, i thought so.

just about everything else is done. aside from a fuckin fly infestation. wtf?? why do i have flies again? no odor of dead rats this overflowin trash.. the litterbox is clean. there is NO reason we should have flies. NONE. NONE!!!!!! i'm really pissed about it. sick even. i was "this close" to gettin a motel room last night. i had the heebie jeebies from it. they have to be coming in from somewhere.. i just don't know where-- or WHY. do YOU??? if so-- tell me// please.. and tell me what to do about it. they are in MY bedroom.. and it is the cleanest room in the house-- aside from the living room . and bathrooms. wtf/???? it's killin me.. and it just a day or two ago.... like i said-- it's not dead rats this time..THEY are gone.

also-- wed... jlee and i met for lunch. another good time. food and starbucks. we were both bored to tears sittin at home when we decided to meet up--- so it was good. as usual.

so anyhow-- TODAYS plan??

chores, errand, MORE catching up on stuff i been puttin
i just may take advantage of the early mornin bite--and go fishin for a little while before i start my day. this is the time of year that the morning fishin is the best. am , aND p.m. woo hoo.
oh and i do think me and soulman will enter that tournament. i guess they have it three nights a week..we may fish one or two of them... that will be FUN. we may even fish it TONIGHT!!!!

i shall let ya know.

anyhow-- i do hope y'all have happy fridays today!
and happy weekends to follow!

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

it's 10 a.m. do you know where my motivation is?

ugh boy--- look at the time....

i am sooo unmotivated today. it's just embarrassing. this is the first day that i have been totally alone in four days. and the first day in i don't know how many that i haven't had an appointment, or felt like hell. (one of the two).
i have several things that i should be doing.. or could be doing.. or even a few that i MUST be doing. am i ? ummmm NO. i'm not even cleaned up or changed yet. i just may not either. at this point in time, i am quite comfortable. sittin here in total silence. except for the clicking of the keyboard of course. i have been told that i type too loud. i think that may true.. but i don't really care.
so anyhow. yep. i had plans to clean up my sty today. soulman has been off work for a few days. he worked on sunday for a few hours, but aside from that has basically been off since friday. i think he worked four hours sunday. and i haven't been feeling too great for -- i don't know how long. since before i went out of town, i know that much. but today, i feel ok. i should take advantage of it and get caught up on chores and errands.. but on days that i have had a stretch of NOT having alone time.. i just kinda like to not do much. i like the quiet. and the feeling of not feeling like i should be doing something.. or talking or stuff like that. ya know.
so anyhow-- nooop.. not feelin too motivated right now. hopefully i will get that way later though.. with enough time to spare before anyone gets home. i hate it when they know i haven't done anything but sit on my arse all day. :)) (unless i'm sick or in pain.. then they understand... but otherwise-- i feel bad for it)

so anyways---- i got a lot of comments on yesterdays post. what a couple of losers eh? i couldn't believe the guy who caused the wreck didn't even attempt to help the lady in the car. and i do wonder if the woman's hubby went to the hospital. i imagine he had to have--at least to take her home. right? her car wasn't drivable.. and i wonder if he was mad about that.

i was surprised at how fast and bad the air bag bruised her chest. has anyone had that happen? or seen it? she's lucky she wasn't goin faster. at her age she could have been really hurt. i think she was ok though. but she was so upset--she may have been hurt more than she thought. i hope not though. i'm sure her husband isn't one to take very good care of her at home.

anyhow-- i obviously don't have much to talk about today. not a whole lot happenin around here.

all my tv shows are coming to an end-- i don't know what i will do with my evenings after this week. or is it next week? maybe i will have to fish til nightfall now? there is an evening tournament at a nearby lake .. the entry fee isn't very much. soulman and i have talked about entering it together. that would be fun. i think it is from like 6 to 9 or something. i'm not sure of the number of boats--or the payout for winning. but it would be fun to fish together. it's on wed nights i think. i haven't paid much attention to it, cuz it hasn't been much of an option lately cuz of some med issues with me... but like i said, that is seeming to pass lately. i'm glad of that too. i have no idea what it is or was.. but i was pretty worried for a while. not sure if i need to be concerned anymore. but i guess i'll find out in a day or two when the ct results come back.

oh-- if you're wonderin.. my shows i watch.. ?? american idol..survivor..and hells' kitchen...
do any of y'all watch any of them???

survivor just ended.. and the one i wanted to win, did not. :((

american idol, ends tonight--- my fave is david cook-- i do not want him to win.. it is best for him..and his fans if he doesnt get locked into a AI contract-- and gets to move right out like bo bice-and daughtry.. do you agree? i think he is ready--and i think he is awesome! i'm definitely buying his cd-- and i think ai will ruin him, and make him sing a bunch of brady bunch type songs. he's too good for that.

as for david A.. he should win.. he is young, and it would be good for him to win.. he does the ai style better, more ballad type--agree? he's just more what they want i think.
as for that freakin sayesha? i DESPISE her!!! she makes me want to vomit every time i even look at her, much less hear her . ugh. GAG PUKE WRETCH. not to mention, i believe wholeheartedly, that she knows someone on the inside that has pushed her through. i just can't stand her overconfident , non-good-singin self. ERG.

and hells kitchen... i LOVE it, and i will cry when its over. not really. but i will miss it. that show makes me laugh. i wish they didn't edit it. it would be so much more funnier. and why did ramsey stop sayin "donkay" i love that.

welp-- i reckon i'm done rambling...

hope y'all have happy days today--
i spose i'll be lazy til i can't take it anymore. hopefully i'll accomplish at least something productive.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

how people think in a bind

well well well....
thank God yesterday is OVAH!
it was horrible for me, but it is gone. and i am glad of that.

i don't feel so horrible today, and i will not whine today. i hate to do that-- for me , and especially y'all. it really was a bad day tho. ugh.

anyhow.. part of what i was gonna continue with yesterday, was just that on sunday as i was out, on my way home from my shopping hell. i had witnessed a car wreck. it wasn't terrible or anything. more of a fender bender, but it coulda been worse. i was pullin into the wal mart parking lot, and i saw a car coming out, onto the main road. i could tell he wasn't gonna stop.. i just knew he was gonna blow the stop sign, and go into traffic...i looked into my rear view mirror, and damned if he didn't do just that! what happened? he got T-boned! sure enough. (at 35-40 mph ) i almost didn't stop. but i couldn't one else did. so i parked and walked over there. he was just kinda pacing around.. he was near 30 i guess.. but the lady in the car? had to be 65-70-ish. she was just sittin there , crying, with her hands over her face-- APOLOGIZING.
first, i asked the guy-- is she ok.. he says "ya, I"M ok".. i said , NO is SHE ok.again he says "ya I"M ok".. good LORD..
that's when i checked her.. before i got her out of the car, i of course asked about her neck and back etc.. she said that was all ok, she just had some air bag i walked her to my car and let her sit there til the cops and ambulance got there. i noticed a pack of smokes in her purse , so let her smoke. lord knows i woulda needed one-or ten! i asked if she was married.. she was.. so had her call her husband--- she was too hysterical to talk, so i just had her give me his number and i talked to him... holy crap the guy was an asshole. he sounded pissed off that she got in a wreck ! didn't even ask if she was ok. said he didn't know where the location i gave him was..and sounded like he didn't even care, and wasn't gonna come at all. after i gave himj the location, i hung up--he didnt even ask to talk to her !!!
when the ambulance and cops came , she was gonna go in the ambulance so she called to tell him where they were gonna take her-- she APOLOGIZED to him for gettin in a wreck! i heard her say..i'm sorry, it wasn't my fault, i had the right of way..etc..she had stopped crying--UNTIL she was on the phone with HIM.
WHY do (some) men have to be like that?

i just could NOT EVER imagine my husband being that way. he is ALWAYS THE FIRST person i ever think of when i need someone. and even if i got in a wreck that was my fault-- he wouldn't be mad at me.. or even if he was-- it would never be his first thought. he would make sure i was ok, and be by my side in a flash before anything else.

i was just shocked at the reaction of this lady-- apologizing... her husband not givin a shit.. the other guy--who was at fault--only caring of HIMself--

i don't know...

it's things like this that really make me appreciate my family.

i will admit .. i have given soulman plenty of reasons to be or get pissed off at me.... but when it comes down to it-- i am still first in his mind when somethin bad happens.

and so is he for me.

how bout you?

Monday, May 12, 2008

here i am with monday part two

well peeps--

i had big plans for the ole blog today. but i.m afraid it just aint gonna happen.. not today. at least, for now, it aint lookin that that way. i finally got back from the doc.
doc 1 got canned -- thank GOD---- cuz there happened to be a doc 2-- that happened to pity me enough to call in an rx this morning without me having to be forced to go see doc 1-- due to a massive middle of the night, make me near suicidal migraine - with NO meds last night. UGH.

but, i still had a doc 3 appt for a CT today that i just got home from. i had no idea, although i should have-- that i would have to drink that gawd awful barium...and also get shot up with die.. (contrast)-- omg. i feel like hell. i've felt like hell all damn day. since the moment i opened my puffy eyes this morning. an HOUR late mind you.

i had SUCH a mental attack about everything-- from the headache, waking late, thinking soulkid was late, and ALL this medical shit, that i just broke down bawling like a big ass crybaby.
soulman got my phone and started calling my doctors , making appointments etc. it was a horrible morning...and i might add a not so great day.

soulman is now stuck with the grocery shopping and taking soulkid to get re-fit for a new retainer to day too, as her upper didn't fit and made her bleed-- so she needs a new one.
i could take her for that-- the appointment is at 410 today-- but-- barium, and me-- don't get along well-- IF ya know what i mean, so i have to stay close to home.

so-- anyhow-- i'll catch up with y'all later-- actually more like tomorrow if ya wanna lay bets on it.

and as for the thing i was workin on.. that'll take another day or two i bet too. it's a video--and it's a mess. i'm way out of practice for that. and my pics are scattered all over the place-- cd's , and three computers.

anyhow-- i don't think i need to tell ya-- i'm a tired ole hag today-- and offline-- in bed -- is where i should be about now.

hope y'all are havin good days todays

it's a monday for damn sure here...

what goes up must come down

i had the best mothers day ever yesterday!

i felt good ,i was spoiled ; without feeling like anyone was forcing it--- or "put out". it was just a really good day.

i didn't have the most fun ever while shopping. God..y'all know how i hate to shop. i need one of those "personal shopper people" :))
i ended up at THREE different stores-- only looking for a shirt and pants. i had planned on gettin some "real" girl pants. but that is always hell for me in itself. so-- needless to say-- i ended up with mens pants--yet again. (all i found at the first store was stuff for soulkid and soulman--aint that the way it goes tho)
anyhow.. i'm lookin at the "slacks".. i either couldn't find my size-- which oddly enough , i don't even KNOW in girl size. i even looked at "suits".. but -- i am built so freakin weird-- i always need like a huge, blazer, and small pants-- so that didn't work either.
then i think , after looking at about two thousand shirts, i decide-- ok, i'll break down and look at -- womens shirts. even though i hate them! hate them. (on me).. so i start lookin around .. i cannot believe some of these clothes. my gawd. on the hanger , i would see somethin, "hey that looks cute".. i'd pull it off the rack.. only to find it was only like a HALF shirt-- meaning like a crop top--and i'm talkin about collared shirts.. wth ? why would they not make an entire shirt? ugh. that happened several times. then of course other shirts are sleeveless, or like tank tops... or soooo freakin "form fitted" it was just ridiculous-- they could only fit a mannequin-- NO human woman could be shaped that way. ugh. ... i woulda laughed if i wasn't so frustrated.
i don't know ANYONE--THAT "form fitted". i really think i am de-formed. all my life i have been forced to wear mens clothes due to my "form".. my shape. my whatever. i honestly don't know where this build of mine came from. but i would never ever wear a half shirt-- especially trying to dress nice. or a sleeveless, and/or tight as a straight jacket shirt. sorry peeps.. just not for me. it does work for some.. i just aint one of em.
the few things i saw that i really thought were cute enough to wear-- were either small enough to fit sushi-- seriously--whether in womens or jrs depts... i was almost to the point of bein pissed..and givin up on the whole ordeal. (and y'all wonder why i dress like a slob-- ha now ya know. )

so anyhow-- after three stores , i end up--for myself-- a shirt-and a pair of pants. woo hoo-- not exactly what i wanted-- but i was done.
so i go home, get cleaned up, begin to get dressed-- and what do i find? even the damned mens pants i bought-- were huge! they were the size i wear-- just musta been a "style " i didn't know about--it was a brand i have never bought before. was i pissed? umm yes. i ended up wearing the shirt i got-- which i like-- only it coulda been a size smaller. but the pants--ugh. i ended up wearing some jeans-- baggy mind you-- not designed baggy-- just loose-- that i really didn't want to wear. i wanted BLACK. i have a pair or two that are black-- but couldn't find them anywhere. and i looked everywhere. ugh.

but it worked out. we thought the place we were going was gonna be all fancy and everyone would be dressed up etc-- we get there-- and people are wearin T-Shirts ! dammit. i wish i woulda known that. no, i wouldn't have worn a t-shirt-- but i sure wouldn't have been as stressed as i was about what i was gonna wear.

alright, so now that you've heard of my disdain of clothes shopping... (sorry)

dinner was very good. it was at a brazilian steak house place. where they cut your meat at your table, and feed you til ya can't move-- or if you wanted to-it's near impossible. and boy did we EAT. it was soo good. wanna peek? k..

here-- is where we ate--

here is MY round 1
salad bar to die for !

round 2-
i ate it all-
and more

and even DESSERT(half a turtle cheesecake slice-)

it was sooo damn good !

and we had a great time there.

although, some guy-- was LOOKIN at me the entire time-- for over an HOUR!
ooh i hated that. i don't know why he was lookin at me..he was with his family at the table across from us-- but stared at me all through dinner. it really bothered me. but oh well. i'm sure he got a kick outta THIS:

(my gifts -- only ME y'all... it cracks me up sometimes, the stuff soulman buys for me. :)) but i have actually wanted this for a while--just been too cheap to buy one for myself.. :))

obviously, on the right is a little bear-(from soulkid)
soulkid insisted i name him..
he is now "Soul"
i figured hell, i won't be soul forever-- so why not.
she liked it. and so do i.

as for the one on the left--
it is from soulman..
and it is a fish scale LOL

i couldn't help myself but to say---
"fish scales? you bought me fish scales?"

well, now he thinks i don't like--or want them, and said i could take them back-- but actually-- i need them. and will use them, and he's right-- i would never buy expensive scales.
we got some cheap ass scales last year that were never right-- and now they are in a box somewhere.
now i'll know when i get that 5 pounder !

ok folks..
i have more to say-- but i have a hot date-- so i gotta go for now.

not really a date-- another F'N dr.
this medical and doctor crap is gonna kill me some day.
just the thought of going -- makes me wanna ---
well, i don't know what it makes me wanna.
it surely makes me NEVER want to see another doctor in my frickin life though.
no one has a clue how sick i am gettin of this.
i'm at the point i'm ready to just quit tryin... let whatever it is that is attacking me.. do it--
cuz the mother fuckin doctors aren't doin a damn thing besides passing me around from one to the other.
and i ammmmm sooooo tired of it.

i reckon i will be back later with part two of this.
cuz i gotsta get UP.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

my kid amazes me

hiya folks --

soulkid came to me last night, with my laptop-- as i was already in bed-- insisting that i read an email that she had "spent forever" writing to me. (cuz she forgot to get me a card for mom day.)

i can't help but to share it with y'all. many of you know that she and i struggle a lot with each other --- apparently it's not only me who hopes it's a teenager thing. :))

anyhow --- here's a peek into the gentler side of my child. the one who does know how things work, how hard i try, and just how much i really do love her.
no store bought card could ever mean as much to me as


always, always, and forever
always, always, and forever

im sitting here and thinking back to a time when i was young,
my memory is clear as day. im listening to the dishes clink
you were downstairs and youd sing songs of praise
and all the time we laughed with you
and all the time you stayed true to us

i said i thank you
ill always thank you, more than you would know,
than i could ever show. and i love you, ill always love you
theres nothing i wont do to say these words to you
that you're beautiful, forever

always, always, and forever

you were my mom, you were my dad
the only thing i ever had was you, its true
and even when the times got hard you were there to let us know that we'd get through

you showed me how to be a man
you taught me how to understand the things people do
you showed me how to love my God, you taught me that not everyone knows the truth

and i thank you, ill always thank you
more than you would know, than i could ever show
and i love you, ill always love you, theres nothing i wont do to say these words to you
that you will live forever
forever and ever
forever and ever

i said i thank you, well always thank you
more than you would know, than i could ever show
and i love you, ill always love you, there's nothing i wont do to say these words to you
that i thank you, we'll always thank you
more than you would ever know, than i could ever show
and ill love you, well always love you,
theres nothing i wont do to say these words to you
that you will live forever.

[along with the video- she sent the lyrics (below the video) --- and below (this)---- is the email she wrote .
i WAS gonna "edit" it-- cuz she does say a word or two that could be taken negatively by some people... BUT-- it is NOT meant that way-- she's a kid, and as hard as i try to break her of the habit of that word it isn't working at this point in time. if y'all know me at all.. you know we are not prejudice against any person.. race, religion , life partner, whatever-- these were her words , the best way she knew how to write them.and they mean everything to me.]

i love you. and i know that i don't show it that much,
and i know that i say a lot of things i don't mean to you.
and i know that within the two months or so of being 14 i've scared you a lot
by making stupid choices, and i'm sorry. and we get in fights a lot and i've said
i've hated you a lot, but you know i don't mean it and this is basically because
i am a teenage girlllll, give me a break :). and you can be a dumb nigga some of the time,
but that's okay because so can i and know that i am a huge brat and even when i know
im wrong i keep arguing about whatever we're arguing about. i don't think you know
how much you really mean to me, and i don't think you ever will. i don't even know
how to begin to show you or tell you how much you mean to me. you've taught me
almost everything i know about life, and i feel like i can tell you almost anything.
and if we didn't talk all the time, and weren't so open with each other, i probably wouldn't
be as mature as i am now. or as mature as i think i am. hahah. and you're really understanding.
most of the time. other times you are a meanhead! :). but yeah. you are truly amazing,
and you have helped me so much in life, and your one of the few people that still have faith in me.
and i believe that you'll always be there helping me get where i want to be in life, and i can count on you.
i know that you'll do anything for me and you should know that i love you and i'd do anything/die fo you.
im just glad that you can put up with me twentyfour/seven. hahah. but yeah, i am writing this because
i dont think a stupid cardddd would say as much as i wanted to say to you, and mainly because
i forgot to buy one. hahah. :P. i love you mommmyyyyy !

God , i love that girl.
i am a happy mom today--- i hope the rest of you moms out there are too !

ahhh--- i can't be forgettin soulman here-- he took me fishin this mornin...
and looky what i got:

isn't he cute !
(he's "pee-wee" )

but look what else i got---

who says size doesn't matter?

i got him on the first cast btw-- :))

i had a third-- a small bass, decent , but small.. there were too many people watching me though, so i didn't take a pic. he was a cutie tho .

anyhow-- dinner plans tonight , other than that, i think i will work on somethin i been wantin to post for a while-- it will take some time though so check back later on tonight to see if i had any success with it eh?

Saturday, May 10, 2008

speechless satahday

two days straight of hours of

brings me to

but, i will be visiting y'all

happy weekends to all of you--

Friday, May 9, 2008

ever seen a 8600.00 smile???

NOW ya have :))

soulkids' first photo of her release from
"braces jail"

Isn't she sweet?
i'm not sure which of us is happier ..
i think it's a tie !

no one has seen those teeth in over five years...

now i need to hunt down her third grade school picture....
that oughtta be worth a few thousand in payback.. dontchya think


hope y'all have happy fridays in your worlds today
i'm workin on it...

where does the time go

hi everybody--

(during my - posted - proofread - i noticed a few typos- double words-- i don't know why i do that sometimes..write a word twice, back to back.. but i'm not huntin through here to fix it, i think y'all can figure it out, but sorry bout that. i do know how to write-- just not at 4 a.m. maybe?)
ok.. back to your regularly programmed post-- :)) )---

thanks for keepin up with me.. you know, i'm behind again. i tried my hardest to keep ya updated on the trip with jamie, and the happenins there.. but of course my replies and cruisin around is a few days behind again. i hate it when that happens.
doesn't mean i don't want to hit everyones pages two or three times a day again.. just means i can't quite get there lately. in a way , it's a good thing. it sorta means, i have a lot of peeps.. and .. a bit of a life.. these days.. that's good right? but on the other hand... i feel bad, cuz i really do like to touch base base with each of you personally. i don't like to miss anyone for any reason. and i know so many of you aren't used to me doin that. so i am sorry.
but i think.. or at least hope ya understand, things are changin, and happenin, out here. it seems, that if it aint one thing, it's another. and unfortunately, the blog thing, is the one thing that seems to be the thing that gets pushed to the side the easiest. not that i "like that"

which reminds me... i thought today was gonna be my "free day".. NOT. aside from a damn dr appointment i was gonna have to make -- due to the dr i saw yesterday being FAR FROM USELESS.

today, i had planned on basically sitting home on my ass.. paying bills, recovering.. and catching up with everyone. seein as traveling really does kick my ass.. and the fact that sleeping well lately hasn't been much of a success for the past several days has me feeling pretty run down.
BUT NOOOOO. will it work that way? oh hell no. a couple months ago, i had hired a lady to come in every two weeks to do my "strenuous-too physical -for me- cleaning/scrubbing type stuff." and guess when she is due to come... yup, you guessed it-- today! what time is she due? 8 a.m. SHIT. (i forgot too ) and of course, most of you know, i am the type of person who "cleans, before the maid comes".
all she does, is the high stuff that i can't stretch for, and she scrubs the showers, toilets, and floors. stuff i can't get on my knees and stretch forward for. my back just can't take that shit. she usually does a good job. but the last few times, i had noticed her work slacking, even tho i have been paying her extra cuz we have a big house, and she doesn't charge very much. so, i meant to call and "fire her".. but the trip to visit jamie-- kinda threw me off, and made me senile-- and i forgot to call... oops. so now she's coming today. and i have to clean before she comes. i don't have it in me.
i already canceled her the passed two weeks. she usually comes every two weeks. she doesn't even do dishes or laundry-- and those are the things i hate to do the most. why have her. right?
hmmm... so. i'm sittin here thinkin... i'm flippin tired. i don't feel like doin a damn thing but doin the smoke and choke until i can't breathe or float away-- whichever comes first first. and after that-- tryin to get to the doctor--- to find out why my side feels like i have a sword .. and a friggin grapefruit in it.
i do believe that i am in a pretty crabby ass mood at the moment.
it seems that not much is in my favor right now.
should i go buy a scratch off ticket? lol.
oh ya right.
i don't even wanna get up to go re-fill my coffee ! like i'm gonna go to the store. but yes, you know i will go get coffee. i must have coffee.
perhaps i will have an epiphany to all these problems as i pour my lifeline into my gullet.?
hmm, nuthin so far, but i only poured it into my cup so far. :))

alrightee then.

i guess i will go for now, and try to catch up on what i can, while still sittin on my buttocks. i spent money like had it on the road trip. :)). now i need to find out if i did any damage. i think i'm still ok.. that's what the fantastic plastic plastic is for right? no? oh shit. :)) oh well. it was worth it. maybe i'll go to vegas! hahahahahaha. not really.

i don't know. i do need to see if i can get a hold of my cleaning ladies' interpreter ..LOL.. before it's too later , for HER, to get a hold of the cleaning lady-- to tell HER.. NOT to come today. before it's too late. i just need to decide if i really don't want her to EVER come back.. or if i just want to postpone her another week or two. i actually did fairly well this last couple weeks i put her off... cept for the stuff i actually hired her for-- like the scrubbing, and reaching. dammit.
i hate physical limitations. i really do. but i also hate "schedules". this always seems to sneak up on me. i wish she would call me a day or two in advance instead of showin up at the door when i sometimes don't expect her. (my senile ya know.) i usually forget til the day before--or once-- i totally forgot til she showed up at the door-- that really sucked! i was sooo NOT ready that day.
at least, if she did "just show up today, she could actually work.. i just wouldn't want her to. laundry on the couch.... "clean" phew.. dishes on the counter.. soulkids cpu desk is of course a disaster.. you get the idea-- more clutter than crap-- but still. time is money.

ok.. i'm outta heah.

eventually, life will smooth out , and i will get back on track. i'm really not ignoring anyone-- just trying to get back where i belong.

i still love ya , :))