Friday, February 29, 2008

goo-lawd -- i'm bawd!!!

dammit-- i'm blind and comatose!

howdy folks----
yep-- i slept late again...
my life is passing me by-- will it ever change? it has to right? hopefully soon! one can sleep all the time for only so long right?

so anyhow-- i woke up closer to six than 4 again. there was a time that i wanted to sleep in on occasion-- but lately it is ruining my entire morning routine. and i am not likin it! not only that-- it is ruining my entire daily routine as well. it's horrible. how do people live like this? i'm afraid i'm gonna end up with damn bed sores!!! :)) i hope not.
anyhow-- i'm doin the best i can.
hopefully i'll get it together SOON.
maybe the med change is causing problems too. who knows.

but-- how bout THIS???
i just realized--- our eye appointments-- that took over a year to FINALLY schedule-- since all three of us are freakin BLIND--- well... they were scheduled for MONDAY. guess what--- monday-- is also the day-- and the same TIME that the friggin EEG is scheduled! mine is last-- and if i could drive-- i could take myself to that , and the other two could get theirs done.. BUT nooooo----- they can't do that cuz i can't drive. so now all three of us, have to reschedule our eye appointments. UGH. and i still haven't heard back for the MRI appointment time. i hate to be kept waiting.
i feel like veruca salt at times like this
Daddy I want it NOW!!!

i love that movie.
(willy wanka--the original..with the blueberry girl. :)))

welp-- i reckon that's about it--
unless ya wanna hear about one of my aunts disowning me-- (totally out of the blue--no questions asked)-- that's a story that could only come from MY family. UGH. i think i shall keep it out of least the details-- maybe-- well, at least for now... but really-- it's cuz i'm me. and it's sooo ridiculous... and uncalled for really. talk about blindsided. geesh, i get sick for a couple weeks.. and someone feels offended. hmmm. some peoples' kids. i tell ya.
but i will tell ya this-- it's not "auntie J"... :))

ok well
i will ttyl

happy FRIDAY!!!

Thursday, February 28, 2008

still don't know nuthin

well, it's still a wait and see game. but the doc did seem to know what he was doing.. for once.

i have a MRI and a EEG scheduled for monday. no driving before then..and maybe after. it's wait and see.

it's possible that it was the flu etc, that caused the seizure-- but it's possible that it's more. but i aint goin there. yet.

the guy did at least understand that i AM in pain, and di rx some pain meds-- unlike the other docs i asked for meds. geesh. wth is it with docs these days?? i asked him once, he asked where it hurt, i told him , and he wrote a very generous script. phew.

he also explained why i am sleeping so much-- basically my brain exploded. not really, but it overloded itself or something like that. it just kinda shortcircuited or something ..i dont remember how he said it...but it should be back to normal soon. either way-- i am pretty tired again right now, and about to go to bed. we have only been home about half an hour. :((

surely this will end ?

anyhow.. that's my update.. i won't have any results prolly til tuesday?? not sure.

well.. i hope you all are havin good days---
i'll check around on ya after my nap! :))

you know you're jealous!

this will be me in about two hours. sexy huh? of course i am not looking forward to the makeover-- but i am looking forward to some answers.
i have been doing some reading this morning... would you believe that fibromyalgia has been known to cause convulsions?? so has chronic pain/nerve pain.. etc. not to mention.. migraine headaches!--- which i had-- for six days runnin! crazy.
i just don't know what to think about this. i had so many physical problems for an entire week that could have contributed to this. my whole body was out of whack. pain, flu, headache, no food, or liquids, or meds , (stayin down).. the last two days-- i had been stickin to gator aide and water--and even that wasn't stayin with me. SOOOOO. all i want is some answers. for once-- i want a doctor who knows what the hell he is talkin about-- someone with some experience with this kinda thing. no guessing. ya know. good solid answers and my drivers license.

my appointment is at ten... don't know how long it will take-- but when i get back i will let ya know what i know-- if anything. i hate not knowing stuff. especially something like THIS.

anyhow-- i hope things are perfect in your worlds today--
i'm gonna fake perfection... worry isn't cuttin it... so why not, right?

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

he's trying to kill me

see that dog? well, remember how sweet my soulman has been being all this past week? taking such good care of me? watching over me? well guess what? that dog up there ?---- i have been informed that soulman is going to get THAT dog! it is a belgian melenois or some kinda thing. it'll prolly EAT sushi. he says it won't.. cuz "it's trained". ugh.
it's not like i didn't already just have a seizure or anything. is he trying for a heart attack now? i don't want a new dog-- especially a full grown.. dog LIKE THAT. a puppy? maybe. but later--maybe later--- not now. and not THIS.
does anyone want to adopt me??? or soulman? :))

tell me it's a phase. tell me he is dreaming. or it's a midlife crisis thing, and he'll buy a boat instead! :))

me n julio down by the schoolyard

apparently, it's true. i am awake..and somewhat alive too. still not quite with it though. i gotta say--- it's been a while since i have felt totally clear headed... but this passed several days has been ridiculous.
and so is the song of the day! enjoy that for a while peeps :)) you know you love it.

i will say.. i actually woke up at a normal time.. for me today. like 5 a.m.
i have been sleeping way late , and then all day since friday. of course laying down, or being all crumpled up in my chair-- has not been good for my old body. or mind. i swear-- i haven't felt clear or normal in days.

i'm hoping that today will be a start back onto the right track. hubby is gonna take me out today and we will run some errands and get some fresh air, and out of this damn house. he has taken the week off since the seizure. he got a bit of the flu himself-- but he also doesn't want to leave me alone until i see the neuro doc. it is making him crazy with worry that this might happen again. i'm not real thrilled with that thought myself... but if it will be my life-- we will have to adapt. i refuse to be worried over and babysat for the rest of my life. people live very normal lives with this problem every day. it can be controlled with meds-- and actually, from reading about wellbutrin.. even though i had been on it for several years-- it was a high dose-- and with the flu-- it was basically cut off cold turkey-- so really that could be what caused it--and it may never happen again. at least that is what we are hoping. other than that i just don't know what to think.

i know y'all have your own stuff goin on, and really it's in many ways worse than what's goin on here. i guess the main thing here is the uncertainty-- and well.. ya-- the uncertainty. for now.

anybody want to buy a car? :)) i'm just kiddin. one thing-- if i can't drive my car for six months-- it will be in pretty damn good condition for its age six months from now huh? :))

sickening. that's all i can say. i was just getting to where i was getting out more--and the weather is about to change-- it's almost time for me to fish every day-- and here i might be TRAPPED... or riding a BIKE. can you see it? me on a damned modified bike with a sidecar full of fishing gear??? holy crap!
now there's a visual.

but ya know what? when things like this happen... i think it really makes a person appreciate what they have. all the complaining and whining i do about dumb stuff---- and somethin like this comes along. life changing possibly. what a bunch of crap.
but hey-- if nothin else-- it sure is a wake up call. so much could have been different.

and also... it is nice to see y'all checkin in, i miss all of you-- and i hope you know how much i appreciate your well wishes.

apparently i'm still not all with it--so just bear with me til i get it together-- i'll be my ole soul-self soon. i hope.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

asleep at the wheel

hi folks, i'm still alive--- i'm just never awake. i can't believe that i sleep ALL the time.
i don't even have anything to say.
except that i'm pretty pissed off that i may lose my drivers license for six months. assuming it to be a seizure free six months.
i have a brand new damn car sittin out there -- and i can't even drive it.
i see the neuro doc on thursday , and i am only hoping that he will find something that will prove that the seizure was caused by not keeping meds down? maybe by the wellbutrin? maybe by being sick, and a combination of several things?
i am having a real hard time with this possibly being a late onset of epilepsy. that is a possibility though, and it is a scary one. my brother had epilepsy, and my mom had seizures. but i just can't claim this.
but-- i really don't know what to do at this point. i won't know anything until i see the neurologist-- and i may not even know anything after that. i don't have a history of good doctors-- i only hope this guy knows what he is doing.
all i have done since friday is sleep. i sleep late in the morning, and i sleep all damn day long. it's insane. but, i don't know what to do about it.
the shrink stopped the wellbutrin... other than that-- it's wait and see. and apparently sleep. or try not to sleep-- which doesn't seem to work very well.

anyhow-- i'm still here-- just grouchy-- and sleeping.

hope all of you are well...

Monday, February 25, 2008

i've fallen and i can't get UP

see this poor tired little dawg? intentions to keep up with blog pals.. and at minimum, stay awake! well.. this is me, this passed few days--- i cannot stay awake-- i attempt to talk to y'all on your pages-- and i seem to spew incoherent gibberish. my intentions are good tho-

still not sure what happened or why the other day-- but i sure am having a hard time gettin my head clear-- and doing anything other than sleep.

all i can say is i have a new found respect for epileptics. good lord. i could not imagine living my life like this. not knowing when or if something like that will happen again. hours in the ER.. being watched like a hawk by the family-- and no one can relax around here. poor soulman, didnt sleep for two days... he finally got some sleep last night. soulkid doesn't know what to think. i sure don't know what to think either. we don't know what caused it... or if it will happen again. but ya know-- we sure are hoping it was just a "thing".. and not a late onset of epilepsy or something. holy crap.

anyhow-- i need to see a neuro doc.. soon as i find the referral.. i will call and let ya know when i see him, and what they say.

as for now-- i still don't think i am thinking clearly-- so i think i won't be writing much around here. i just don't think my head is clear enough to be yackin too much right now.

so take care of yourselves, and if ya see me lurkin around and not talkin much-- it's probably cuz i make no sense :((

take care--and have good days today!

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Soulman's Guest Post ---

hi folks---
sorry i haven't been around much ... i have slept more this passed couple days than i can remember sleeping in a long time. and y'all remember , sleeping used to be what i did best. :))

anyhow-- for anyone who is interested-- below is soulmans' version of the seizure episode from friday. i feel so bad for him. to see this happen to him , would scare the crap outta me!

anyways-- here ya go---

i shall post tomorrow. no idea about what-- seein as nothing has happened other than me sleeping 18 hours a day-- and still kickin this cold/flu thing.

we are hoping to go fishing tomorrow--- the weather is great here-- hope it is at your place too!

i miss y''all !

soulmans' guest post:

All I can say is I have seen seizures as my best friend growing up had them. However they were the calmer ones. This one caught me by total suprise and as I told Soul at the time I had no idea what was happening. We had just been talking and there was a patch of slilence of less than 2 or 3 minutes and then I heard her making a god awful noise, a sort of moaning and then she started vomiting. I flew out of my chair look at her eyes and she just started convulsing and was very stiff and her arms were drawn up and her fists clenched. I yelled at her and pulled her towards me so she would not aspirate. Basically pulled her so she was more leaning over me like you would burp a baby and she throw up all over my back. I was talking to her the whole time and she had no response other than to convulse.
She was very close to aspirating her vomit and probably did a little bit. She was so stiff and then she completly stopped breathing for what felt like minutes... more like probably 20 - 30 seconds. However that was the longest 30 seconds of my life. I literally thought she died. I slapped her face several times and slapped her back and then she drew in a long raspy breath and then she started breathing again but it was not normal breathing... It was the same breathing my dad had when he passed. It was terrifying. I had laid her back slightly so I could see her face and her eyes were rolled back and then she went wide awake eyes and looking at me like I was a complete stranger... Then she went limp and like a rag doll. She did open her eyes and I knew she was not all there and she still did not know me. Just before the ambulance arrived she would open and close her eyes like she had a bad dream or was having a dream... she would o pen and look at me so weird and then close her e yes. I kept asking her if she knew who I was and what happened and she just shook her head. Then as the Ambulance arrived they walked in and she sat upright and stared at them and she looked so scared and of course I did not want her to be scared. So as they knelt in front of her I went to the back of the couch and put my hand on her shoulder and face and they started talking to her and one of them said Soul. You had a seizure... She looked around the room in disbelief and I touched her face again and knelt by her side and then asked her again if she knew who I was and she nodded and said yes... That is when I felt better. They hooked her up to a few machines and then they started getting her ready to transport and I basically jumped in my truck and followed her to the hospital. The rest is pretty much on Souls post.
The entire ordeal to me was probably one of, if not the worst thing I have been through. I have always tried to protect Soul and Soulkid and I hope that when the time comes for one of us to die that they are not scared etc. I keep running the tape over and over again in my mind and all I can think of is how I was so scared she was dying I thought she could be having an anurysym or stroke or something. I just wanted her to know I loved her and I did not want her to hurt and she just looked to be in so much pain. My heart was hurting so bad that she had to go through it. She is such a special person and she has been through enough bad stuff in her life. I just hope it was the only one she will ever have. I pray she already knows how much I love her. However for me I plan on trying to do some things different in my life as far as my physical conditioning etc so I am in better shape so I dont go and have a heart attack or anything else on her etc. I really think thi s was brought on by her being sick as she was and not having enough liquids etc and the addisions disease how it can make your body feel rough and can compound problems. We will see what the specialists have to say about.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

E-mer-gen-cy 9-1-1

morning folks-- happy satahday to ya!

wanna hear about my friday? perhaps also the reason why y'all didn't see me around too much?

well, ya know, i'll tell you anyhow-- but it wasn't a good day here-- i can tell you that much right off. i do hope things were better in your worlds!

y'all already noticed prolly that i didn't do much cruisin yesterday-- or commenting. it wasn't cuz i didn't want to-- y'all know i always want to check in on you , even if i don't say anything here, i usually try to say something on y'alls pages.
but , let's just say yesterday was not good here in Soulland. .

most of you know i've been sick this week... but yesterday-- was the worst sick day of all for me .
i would say-- it was the worst medical day in my life . and i have had a lot of medical days--and issues--as most of you know by now.

anyhow-- it started sickly-- puking etc. the day before i puked a lot too. the flu, i spose. unable to keep even liquid down. not to mention the bronchitis i've been trying to fight off as well. so, i spent the day-- trying to recover---med up-- and sleep.. cuz i hardly slept the night before at all.
nothing helped. i felt like hell all day.

soulman worked of course--soulkid went to school of course-- as their days ended, the kid called to go after school to stay the night with a friend-- i was glad later-- that i let her go.

the rest is a blur for the most part-- because i can still barely remember soulman even coming home. my memory of some things is better now than last night-- but still patchy, at best.

so-- what i do remember???
i vaguely remember that we had started to watch american idol that we recorded the night before--- (it took hours, before any of these memories came-- and they are still very fuzzy)
after that?
i was in my chair-- and didn't know where i was -- or what the hell just happened-- only that something happened... something BIG. and scary. i opened my eyes.. to a room full of EMT's -- and a very scared husband! they were calling my name over and over-- i couldn't really focus-- mentally or visual at the moment-- not until--
i heard this:

"brenda-- you had a seizure!"

that was when i think i finally opened my eyes... i saw all these people .. maybe four to six of them. and hubby. he looked white as a sheet, and on the verge of tears.
i kept hearing, you had a seizure , do you know where you are? do you know what happened?
those kinds of things. at the moment--- i knew NOTHING. i barely even know if i knew where i was.. i do know i knew hubby-- and i knew something happened.

as they got me a bit more coherent -and able to stand--- i guess-- cuz the next thing i remember -- i was in the ambulance!!! i have been in an ambulance one time in my life-- i was 15 and a whole different story---
so needles to say-- i was pretty scared.. and extremely confused. i was also puking-- mostly dry heaves--they asked me my birthday-- i didn't know it-- my age-- nope. after a couple minutes-- i saw soulmans big ole bubba mobile thru the back window of the ambulance-- i think that was when i kinda started bringing a little together-- nothing of the "event", but like who i was, my age-- but i was off at first-- by a year-- but was able to correct it.

anything before that was told to me-- by soulman.. he has his own story to tell, maybe i will have him put a post up here later with more detail. i only know he had never seen anything like it--especially from me. i had never gone into convulsions before in my life, and apparently-- this was a pretty intense one. especially for his first to have to be a part of.
he also knows that my own brother died an epileptic, in convulsions... and aside from that--- his brothers ex "wife" , died from aspirating vomit, in a drug overdose-- and a friend of his other brother-- his wife also died within 2 years of that ..-- same prob-- but no drugs involved-- it happened while she was sleeping. very very freakin weird. i could have been the third woman in or close to one family-- his family-- do have that problem, and that was his biggest fear. in fact there was one point he said i stopped breathing and went limp-- he literally thought i had died in his arms.

anyhow-- this was the first time i have ever had a seizure---convulsions anyhow-- i have suspected that i had had "small" seizures (petimals).. but was never sure.

we spent most the eve and night at ER--- they stuck needles in every possible vein in both my arms.. ekg.. head scan.... x-rays... you name it they did it-- i got the FULL workup.

i'm not looking forward to this bill. :((
but i must say-- i am very happy to have not been home alone. hubby pulled through like a champ-- and did everything right-- even though he wasn't sure what to do-- and it was very hard for him.

anyhow-- they finally let us leave-- with rx for nausea.. (and a different anti-biotic (because that was the only thing we could guess may be a part of this-- the only new med i'm on???)
but of course they would NOT rx for the excruciating headache and neck and shoulder muscle pain... ugh -- terribly pain. i wretched every possible muscle i could have in my neck etc.
i ended up vomiting, even more--2 more times after we got home-- but finally was able to keep the meds down..and sleep-- some very needed sleep. and poor hubby he was sooo freakin exhausted.. but wouldn't let me out of his sight-- and in fact-- insisted that i wake him-- no matter how early this morning. i'm happy i slept til 6 today, not the usual 4 ish.

anyhow-- i woke to a terrible headache, and my neck, shoulders, arms, are very very sore. other than that-- i feel ok. still sick with the flu-- runnin a lowgrade fever-- i guess-- close to 100. anyhow-- all that is easily remedied.

so anyhow-- if you don't see much of me today-- i'm recovering. or sleeping. i have a feeling both of us will be having a nap later.

i gotta go---- will catch ya later

Friday, February 22, 2008

holy hell....

i sure hope y'all had better nights last night than i did.
i really don't think this is bronchitis... it gradually got worse last night--- if i was the doctah i claim to be :)) -- i would say i have the friggin FLU! (maybe WITH bronchitis?)

i get bronchitis maybe once a year-- never have i puked-- or had the body aches, and headaches that this has brought with it. i couldn't sleep last night almost all.. i got "sick" like half an hour after i took my sleep meds.... which meant-- even though it crossed my mind that i "lost them"... it also crossed my mind-- that if i didn't-- taking more could mean an overdose. so, i didn't, and i did fall asleep--- later than normal... then woke up about every forty five minutes throughout the rest of the short night.

my recommendation to y'all? not that ya asked, but .. i haven't had a flu shot-- feeling immune to the flu-- since i was like ten. or maybe i had to get em in the navy-- i'm not sure. anyhow-- i have never "willingly" gone and had a flu shot .... now i wish i would have. perhaps you should?

i am in hell. and i obviously laid on my back way too much yesterday-- from about 3pm.. til maybe 430 am this morning. not good for the ole bones.

so--- ? have ya heard enough whining yet?

i'm such a crybaby. damn. but well, this is where i dump my crybaby attacks..and y'all are the "lucky" ones who get to read about them.

ok-- anyhow-- today is FRIDAY--- for those who care.
i hope y'all make it a good one...

i will be cleaning my three day old kitchen :(( it's do or die, as far as that goes.
other than that-- if i don't pass out first--- i will planting myself-- upright-- once again in my chair all day.

stay well--and have happy days in your worlds today!

Thursday, February 21, 2008

life has been put on hold in soul land

ok, maybe not life-- but the weekend, has been cancelled. well, postponed really. til next month.

i feel like hell, this is kickin my butt.. hubby got home from work and decided to change our reservation. cuz i look like THIS:

and everybody knows---
when mamma aint happy-- nobody is.

i will get to y'alls comments i owe prolly in the mornin.. ...

hope you all have good nights out there

overmedicated? i doubt it, but still, i got nuthin

yep it is actually quiet here at the moment.. even the animals are quiet-- strange for a morning. usually it's animania!
anyhow-- my voice is crap-- so i'm not even talking to them today. so they are all strewn about sleeping.
and hubby and the child are gone for their days out in the real world -- as i sit here and wonder-- what-- other than picking up rx's will i do today with MY world. hmmmm. good question. i'll let ya know latah.

so anyhow--- i spose that's it.
i'm snotty, and hacky, and kinda tiahd and sickly---
hoping it will ALL pass by tomorrow---
so i can do THIS:


happy thursday to y'all

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

The Big Bad B****

no, not that B***

i went to the doctor .. yep they did actually call me back..

i never had so many "things" comin at my face in one ten minute period in my life. geesh. some kinda wand thing -- looked like the eye things-- or the ear thing.. i didn't know if i should open my mouth-- close my eyes or RUN. man. then came the light up the nose, the ear thing, the throat thing, even a nose swab (to check for FLU)-- which thank God, i do not have.

i do have Bronchitis though. just as i thought. i can always tell, just from the way it feels..and my voice.

so-- after spending almost 2 hours there with the :

i dropped off an RX for cough syrup-- and carried my butt home with two inhalers , and a rx for antibiotics (to only fill in 2-3 days if i'm not better). hmmmm.

of course i got the smoking-- or should i say -- quit smoking -- lecture--
all i could do is nod in agreement , -- i know i should stop smoking..... maybe someday i will. today is just not that day.
so, i got home, and soulman was here, i gave him the rundown. he was pretty happy to hear that i shouldn't be contageous, but not too happy to hear that it's bronchitis. i always have a tough time gettin rid of it. it always hangs on for a while. hopefully i got it fast enough this time that it won't get too bad. ??

sooooo... i chatted with hubby for a little bit, but my head was pounding-- so i took some asperin and thera flu-- and came to bed.

then hubby brought me some :

yep-- soul - soup !

it was really chicken noodle (progresso) but it was good. him and soulkid ordered a pizza.

now my headache is finally gone, so i think i will take myself back out there, and watch american idol.
(it's half over now, but it's recording)

so anyhow-- have good nights out there peeps...

what is this? the week from Hell?

i mean.. happy humpday folks!

holy crap. what a damn week, and we're not even technically three days in yet.
but it's freakin 4 a.m. and i feel like i have a chainsaw in my throat. not a good feeling, in case you're wondering.

i made it to about lunchtime yesterday when i noticed my throat hurting. at first, i was hoping it was from smoking too much, cuz i really have been smoking a lot lately. a lot for even me. which is really--- A LOT. but it only kept getting worse. by 3, i was at the drugstore getting cough-drops and thera flu. YUM. afterwards, i canceled my day. planted my ass in my chair and stayed there-- except when totally necessary, until after american idol. (which we had to record, and watch late, cuz hubby got home late.. so it was ore like 930 or so, but still.... ) this shit hit me like a ton of bricks. i should have seen it comin though, because saturday night soulkid had one of her friends over here for the night, and that girl coughed and hacked soooooo bad , soulman finally had to ask if she was sick. she said she wasn't , that it might be an allergy or something. we didn't think so. but what can ya do? by then they had been out, and home, and it was probably 8 or 9 pm. we couldn't throw her out for coughin. but by-gummit--- next time i will. i think the kid had strep. at least that's what it feels like.. that deeeeep sore throat that makes me feel like a big baby..and a cough. and i feel all crappy . JUST what i need right now-- days away from going out of town. if it is strep--- it maybe 7 out of 10 times turns to bronchitis for me. yes i know-- smoking is bad for you. oh well. so is everything else.
so anyhow, not just me, but soulkid said she wasn't feeling too well either, but she hadn't lost her voice yet. hopefully she won't. and really, soulman getting sick is never a good thing ... being an instructor-- there's not much he can do at work , without a voice. terr-ific.

ok.. i'm done with my crybaby attack. for now.

ahh.. we did manage to get our drivers licenses yesterday. it went so easy. we thought we'd be there for hours by the look of all the people there--then the cop there started going through the line of like fifty people, asking what they needed, half were in the wrong building, most the others in front of us were in the wrong line--- as were we--- so it went really fast. and i had another good hair day--- woo hoo!
i didn't see my pic, but i told the guy to make sure it was a good pic, and after he took it he said it was. so i will wait and see.
another good thing about that--- we didn't have to do the eye thing! i was sooo worried about that this time. i have never sweated that before...... but last time-- about a year or so ago-- i nearly failed it-- i had to close one eye to see it! after i got mine hubby got his-- back then-- he had the same trouble-- but i had told him about the closing one eye thing.
so yesterday we were both all worried about not making it through the eye exam... luckily neither of us had to take it. PHEW! it's pretty easy when you only change an address here. well, unless you go on friggin presidents day!!!

so anyhow--- i don't think much else is happenin here. i have a dr appt this morning, and errands and housework later--- then i imagine i will med-up and go to bed when i get home. if the cough or throat get any worse through the day--i'll have to make a dr appt-- i do not want to be sick this weekend--or get anyone else sick here. the kid has missed too much school already this year, and hubby cannot afford to get sick.

ok.. i shall attempt to catch up on my comments here-- sorry that i have fallen behind yet again. bad me. don't take it personally-- i'll get it together pretty soon. i hope.

anyways-- happy humpday peeps!!!!
make it a good one....

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

thank God it's Tuesday!

yesterday should have been banned.... or should be for all future years to come.
but, let's just say-- it ended better than it could have--- better than i expected it to. i expected WW-3 here .. but it didn't happen.. and i am happy about that. But-- i still feel a little "heavy" about some things. it'll pass though. it always does. right.

so anyhow-- let's just leave that stuff where it belongs....

we did eat the pigs ass-- or pork butt-- or whatever people want to call it-- and maaaan it was good. we have a ton left too. perhaps i shall make a big ole pot of chili-verde with it. i love that stuff. of course i would have to leave some out for soulkid. she doesn't eat that. but she loved it last night. she had a tough time gettin over the "butt" part of it-- but once i got it through to her that it was a shoulder-- and i wansn't just saying that to make her eat it-- she did love it. hubby out-did himself on that one.
our next venture? a big ole brisket! he is the master brisket smoker man.. he makes the best smoked brisket i have ever eaten.. even from a restaraunt. (i aint correctin it-- that's how i spell it , that's how you get it-- and yes i know it woulda taken less time to correct it-- but i dont care)

sooooo--- anyways.

we have decided to go away for the weekend.. to austin. sort of-- somewhere near there. i'm not even sure where the hell the place is. some time share out there. our time share place called the other day-- talked to soulman... they have been trying to get us to "upgrade".. for like the passed two years.. prolly cuz ours is close to being paid off. they tried to sell us like a damned 20,000.00 friggin time share last time we went. OMG NONONONONO. that was quite the fiasco too--some of you may remember.? anyhow-- we paid very little for ours-- and we have barely used it--and actually sort of regretted getting it anyhow--ever since the day we signed the papers... but that is what this whole thing is about. they want to get us down to one of their better "resorts".. and try to sell us a more expensive "week". it won't happen... but we'll take the free weekend away nonetheless. Lord knows.. i need to get out of here and look at somethin different for a couple days. only thing is-- hours in the car might kill me. that part-- i am NOT lookin forward to. the last couple road trips damn near killed me.

so anyways... that's all i got for now-- i spose i shall cruise a bit-- before it gets hoppin here. :))
and i will try to catch up on my comments from yesterday later.

i hope you all have happy days in your worlds today
i will definitly try-

Monday, February 18, 2008

mUGHnday (w/ update)

ok.. it's 6:22 on a monday morning. ahhhhh.
i've already survived the morning animal hell, and alarm hell too.
and soulkid got up without me havin to go drag her out of bed... she's even getting ready-- hmmmm. last week she had a really hard time getting up-- and sacrificed precious primping time, to sleep in some.

speaking of kids--school--etc--- why is there school today? isn't it presidents' day? hell when i was a kid-- we got Lincoln , AND Washingtons' Bdays off school--- then they combined the two--cheating kids and government workers out of a whole free day off-- and now--- school? first time i can remember-- but is that my memory? or have they really done away with P- day being a "holiday"??? weird.

anyhow-- i haven't been awake long yet-- so am still a bit fuzzy in the head-- what else is new right-- i'm always fuzzy in the head. but anyhow-- i was trying to think of what my day today might hold.. without my calender... i was thinking.. not much. but then i remembered-- hubby goes to work late today-- so we will be getting our drivers licenses this morning. (with the new address) .

i remember last time i got my license here .. oh man. i do hope it won't be like that. i almost--well could have-- well, ok, wanted to-- hit the woman who was-- supposedly "helping" me. one simple question she should have asked would have saved me an entire day-- and 60 miles on my car. but noooo---- "i am me".. well, this time i KNOW to , before anything.. tell them i have a tx dl! just change the damned address! geesh.
bad part about gettin a license today? i am in a dire need of a haircut again. which i will not have time to take care of before the dl thing. just what i have always loved-- a bad dl pic. i've actually had a couple good ones-- but usually they are right after a haircut. soooo. what's that tell ya?

oh.. pigs ass update--- hubby stayed up til midnight cookin that damn thing. apparently it will be yummmmmay. i sure hope so. he said it was fallin apart-- and that is just how i like meat like that to be. can't wait.

as for last nights dinner-- we ended up at a place called RJ Gators--- by the mall. (but not after a few arguments of where to go)--- always fun-- not.
the food usually is very good there, but last night , for some reason, it just wasn't. was it my bad attitude ... or the fact that the cook that night just sucked? they apparently didn't have too great a night anyhow. as we were sittin there-- the waitress dropped a bowl of salsa right next to our table-- she called for the "bus-boy?" and he didn't come to clean it , so she did-- and you could tell she wasn't happy about that. then later-- we heard her tell a coworker-- "so-and-so-, just broke ALL our glasses!". (btw..we did hear them fall, and knew it was not a good situation back there)
poor girl. i bet she was happy NOT to be the bartender last night...
"oh here's your margarita in a giant plastic coke glass--- filled about a third of the way."
i really feel bad for the food industry people sometimes. i would never survive as a waitress. i did when i was young-- but not for long.. most my food work, was fast food.. but even then.. it sucks to work with the many people are assholes.
so anyhow-- to make our dinner experience even "better"... the restaurant (i am gonna STOP correcting that word-- i spell it wrong every damn time!-- glad MY spellcheck aint broke)
anyhow-- soulkid was horrified and embarrassed to be with her parents-- at the mall.. well, by the mall. she was afraid someone she knows might see her with us. :))
i do remember those days---- but i must say--- i never did have to worry about my dad wearing carharts out to eat!!! you might be a redneck if.... :))
so anyhow-- we did the best we could with what we had-- and it went ok. the first part was a trainwreck-- but the last part was alright. :))
ahhh maaaan. the joys of parenthood.

so anyhow-- that's about it for yesterday-- and today as well.. for now.
will get back to you on how things roll today--
will catch y'all latah


yes it is definitely mUGHnday
(415 pm)

why couldn't today have been a "holiday"? or at least one i knew about? yes i know that made no sense at all. but it does to me. yes, cuz i am me. ugh. yes ugh. what a day. and it aint even over yet. in fact , it's only just beginning , in a way. holy crap. i can see i shouldn't probably be writing right now.

anyhow-- i have to go to mall hell. in a few. very few. i do not want to. and y'all know it.

we didn't get our drivers licenses today-- cuz even tho there was school today-- we drove all the way to a neighboring town for the DL office-- and guess what? it's a holiday to them! dammit.
so.. we left there-- on a good hair day no less-- bet that won't happen next time. :(( and we went to some fishin place /store i've never been to. found a bunch of good deals on clearance there. we each got a rain suit and i got a t shirt and hat all for next to nuthin-- so that much was good. then we tried to fish for a while-- but it was a little chilly and windy-- i went to the car after about ten minutes, and soulman wasn't far behind me. but this was also after some bad news.... well not "bad".. but just some "stuff".. we had to discuss. just stuff i can't put here. but it's really a pain in my ass.. and it ruined his day-- before him having to go to work. it just sucks. so anyhow-- we came home and i fixed some heartburn-- i mean lunch. yes we both got heartburn. it was frito pie and it was good-- but on an already stressed stomach-- it wasnt a good idea.

so anyhow-- soulkid is home , soulmans at work.. we're goin to the mall.. he'll be here when we get back.. i'm in a shitty mood..he prolly is too. we'll eat pigs ass for dinner... we'll all act like pigs asses... and i will see y'all later.

hope your mUGHnday is goin bettah than ours....
and Jlees
so far
(and i don't think i'm too sure about anyone elses at this point...
i'll check in later on

Sunday, February 17, 2008

dirty dishes and pigs ass

so, what's goinin on peeps?

i'm late gettin around to read-- and to post--as you can see.

we had a pork butt problem earlier. the big ole chunk of pork that i got a few days ago-- with plans of slappin it on the smoker for about ten hours-- yep that one... well, hubby got it out to get it ready-- and guess what? it expired--- on the 11th. i bought it AFTER that. my EYES. i swear i checked that date. so anyhow-- soulman and i had to fight about, i mean, decide which one of us would be the unlucky one to go take it back. it wasn't me. :))
i bought it the first time.

anyhow-- my biggest plan for the day is to clean my stupid kitchen... and eat a pigs ass for dinner. :))
i KNOW it's a shoulder-- i don't know why they call it an ass.. i mean butt. do you?

ok, i have just been informed that i have pork butt guard duty. gareat. i am not a grill master-- never have been, never claimed to be, never will be. but i was just given the low-down on the egg . i am now the quartermaster of a big green egg. at least for a while. this oughtta prove interesting. he will be back before it's ready, but if i screw it up-- i will nevah live it down.
main reason being--- he burnt the chicken on it last night-- and i kinda razzed him about it. soooo. if i forget or do somethin wrong with this-- he will nag me for the rest of my life about how not only did i buy a rotten pigs ass... but ruined the second one too.


(not mine--but close)

well... i guess on that note i will go clean my kitchen... fun stuff, i know... but nobody else will do it. well, unless you wanna come do it???

happy sunday y'all

Saturday, February 16, 2008

I heart YOU

jess, over at foster communications gave me this here award a couple days ago. just cuz she's cool like that----

i like it-- i think it looks like a tattoo---

now i am to share the love and pass this along---


Portia - cuz she's my little sis i never had --

Oldy-- cuz she's my big sis, i've always had :))

EE cuz she is like my first ever blog sistah ! she was the first (outside of my family) to comment here-- she is still here--- and she named my blog ... from "soulmange" to "soul survivor" -- and she knows how to spread the love

Val --- cuz she's just so lovable, ya wanna kidnap her and go have coffee

simonsays--- need i say more? she's my bud . :))

Jyankee -- cuz she's my gecko sistah -- nobody else has a gecko sis :))

awwww hell--- everybody take it-- if you're on my links, you know i love ya.. and you should have it.. so i will break all the rules and give it to all of you-- if ya want it. cuz y'all deserve it, and i'm too tired to write speeches for everybody :))

sushi is two--

Valentines Day was Sushi-- AKA Sushit's-- birthday. she turned two years old. sometimes it's hard to forget she's just a babeeee.

this was right after we got her--
no bigger than that bear--
she ATE that very bear--
that she loved.

but not before she became this:

the mutant min pin from hell!
i swear to all of you
this dog has some serious issues.
but, we love her.
she is twice the size as she should be, one of her eyes is smaller than the other,
she humps the cat--- Jitterbug-- a female.
she hallucinates-- i swear she does.. she catches flies that aren't there-
she opens and closes her mouth as if she is talking-- obviously , that is not the case.
she also farts alot-- even on company! but even they love her. and so do we.

so anyways.
she is two--and still a baby.
but big as a damn horse.
with issues.

Friday, February 15, 2008

oh crap---

it's late--for me-- and i am layin here fixin to get off this damn computer--that i almost never take
to bed anymore-- but what do you think i hear? sleet! maybe even hail. know what else-? hubby has my car spot in the garage full of shit-- for some damn "project" he has been "working on" for some friend of his-- for weeks. which means my car-- has been stuck in the driveway--vs. the garage -- for what feels like forever-- which it sort of is-- seein as i have only owned this car for a month. erg.
winter storm warning... ice-- hail-- rain-- SHIT---
yep-- so now here i am, maybe fifteen minutes or less from lala land-- and this happens-- i bet money i dream of my car being destroyed-- and perhaps maybe even a huge bitch attack on soulman for evicting me to the street for a buddy. right-- some buddy. he coulda had this shit done in days-- just so happens.. his heart isn't in it and he just kinda lets it sit out there.
the weather report keeps sounding better nby the day-- but it's still gonna be crap-- and y'all are gonna see one pisssed off "can't have nuthin" soul-- if my car gets messed up.
ok-- i am now officially crosseyed-blind-and half asleep--if not more-- so i must go--
thanks for listening to my crybaby whine for dso long.

g'night folks--
happy dreams--

Valentines Day 2007 - re-visited

ok.. earlier today i found my '07 VDAY post-
to re-post. it was posted over two days, and the first day, was mostly just babble--
so i only kept the last half of that one.
and then the next day.
not much has changed.

VDAY at the Soul-Crib 2007



i forgot to mention it this morning while i was writing, but i got ROSES this morning from my husband !!! and a card. it was really very sweet of him. i, on the other hand, didn't get him as much as a card ! my intentions were good, it just didn't happen. then i intended on getting one today...thinking that he wouldn't give me one until after work...if he gave me one at all...boy, was i surprised ! anyhow... i was going to go get one when i picked my girl up after school, but... a friend of hers ride didn't show up .. yet again... so, somehow, i end up bringing this girl home with us whenever that happens... so i didn't do any of the things i had planned on. the card, the post office, the cell phone place... etc. but.. i figured i would print a card when we got home, and i could catch up on the other stuff tomorrow... well... have you looked online at the soooo verry extremely crappy selection of printable.. and even the email cards they have??? oooh yuk !!! i think i will just get him one tomorrow. he won't mind. hell, we've been married almost 15 years. he knows i love him !

anyhow, it's been a pretty lazy day today, in a way. i did do a bunch of laundry AND i finished ALL my dishes.. EVEN my pots and pans... woo hoo ! i really did not want to do that stuff, but it had to be done. it feels good that i did it. but other than that i think i have become addicted to reading these blogs online. i just sit on here and hunt and read them all day. i've been on here so much the past couple days that my back is just burning and hurting like a MOFO. terrible. AND i have a pretty bad headache to boot. i shouldn't even be on here right now. probably wouldn't be if i wasn't looking for a card...but then that led to reading blogs...then of course i had to see if anyone left me any posts on here.. well, then i had to write...i suppose when i'm done i will get off for the night.

hubby still isn't home from work. i'm starving to death too. i had planned on making spaghetti for dinner...but i just realized... i have NO SAUCE !!! ACK! we will probably end up with micky d's or something. i would splurge and get a steak .. but i do not feel like waiting forever at a restaraunt on V day... OR looking at all the young dressed up lovebirds being all stupid all night while i try to eat.

ok....i reckon i am done with this for now.

hope you all have a nice .. or at least drunk.. .. V-Day (night).


Thursday, February 15, 2007


hmmmm..... i am having a hard time figuring out how to start this post. i have started and stopped like three times already this morning and just draw a blank, so i quit, and figure.. i'll be baaack. then, it occurred to me that i was singing "how much is that doggy in the window"....all morning long ! but , it also occurred to me, i hadn't only had that song in my head today...but yesterday too. why? !!!! i don't even remember hearing it. except in my head. it's never a good song, never a top ten hit that gets stuck there for days. it's always, yellow submarine...or me and julio down by the schoolyard. oh my Lord. even commercial jingles ! i guess those are the worst, because they are usually only like ten words...over and over...and over....for hours. it's enough to drive someone insane.
so anyhow. i have a buncha crap to do today... which really kinda sucks... because it is extremely cold today, and the heater in my car is not working right. i don't know why, but it will blow warm for a while...then cold. isn't that just great? right in the middle of yet another.. "arctic blast". grrrr. i don't know what i really hate more than i hate being cold. i hate washing dishes, i hate doing laundry. i hate cleaning litter boxes...or other miscellaneous pet accidents... but really...being cold is just at the top of the list for me. i would rather be flogged with a ... well, whatever people get flogged with.... than freeze.
ok anyhow. enough of my dread of facing the errands of the day. which the best part...i hope...will be getting my new cell phone...and i hope i don't have to pay for it !
hmmm... oh i know... did anybody else surf around on blogs yesterday? it seems like everyone who has one had something to say about valentines day. and more people than not.... HATE it. single people, married people, people with significant others.... just everyone. it seems that the majority of people feel that V-DAY is a commercialized and ridiculous "holiday", which makes people feel forced to express their love for someone in a new and unique way... every year. and for the single people, well, it's just another reason to feel lonely.
personally, i've been married long enough that yes, it's nice to get a card or whatever... but it's not necessary for me to get diamonds, or fancy gifts, or even an expensive meal or night on the town. even when i was single it didn't mean a whole lot. i really don't think i ever had a date on V-DAY when i was single. my husband and i surely went out or something on one before we got married.... but isn't it terrible that i can't even remember it? do people really remember EVERY valentines day, how they spend it, who they were with??? inquiring minds want to know...
but anyhow, as for us, last night, we ordered be delivered...and would you believe that it took over an hour and a half for it to get here ?? i was sooooo hungry i thought i was gonna faint by the time it got here. i had NO idea that they would be so busy on V DAY. we have ordered from this place several times, and they usually get here in less than thirty minutes. it must be a texas valentines dinner thing. "hey hunnay, let's order us sum barbeque fer our supper tunaught. how's that sound hunnay pie?" LOL. really. it really must be what the old folks do around here so they don't have to wait for a table and watch the young , dressed up lovebirds act stupid, while they try to eat too. haha. (well, at least now we know... note to self... next year... have something to cook on hand for v-day !!!)
anyhow...speaking of food....something i am noticing this passed couple of days.... i have been grazing less..still grazing, just not as much/or as often....but i have been ravenously HUNGRY a lot of the time. i mean i can eat, and feel really full, but then an hour later, i'm extremely hungry again. i fight the urge to eat a lot of the time, but it is weird. i probably shouldn't worry so much about gaining weight...right now...because i am really sort of underweight as it is and a few extra pounds wouldn't hurt , but i just don't want to form a habit of overeating. i have had weight problems in the past, and they are hard to correct. so, now i don't only fight urges to smoke... i have to fight the urge to eat too much too. *SIGH* BUT... today is day TEN without a cigarette.
well, i need to get up and get my stuff done. i have been neglecting a lot of my errands and chores lately. i also need to get some groceries today...which i am not looking forward to. that is something else i hate... wal mart. i almost got in a fistfight once in a wal mart.. oh goodness, that was somethin else. gotta love wally world.
well, maybe i shall write a little more later... maybe not...but, until next time
think of me while you enjoy that next cigarette !


i am starving too !! hubby is getting home late again late dinner again. ahhhh. i don't know why i am so hungry all the time. it's not just wanting to do something's like stomach growling, hunger pain HUNGRY !!!!

anyhow.... i have some rather disturbing news to report.... yes... i have discovered that i am a prude !!!! is that something that comes with age?? or have i always been this way? i do remember that certain topics in conversation would shock me at times, but i consider myself to be a pretty easy goin gal. so, i'm thinking that it is maybe age... or motherhood... i don't know...but yes, i am a prude. a stuffy old lady, if you will. ugh. ok, i'll explain. i already mentioned that i have been spending a lot of time looking at blogs online.... well.... i haven't spent much time online in a long time, other than for business, or research etc. so anyhow... i'll get on a website, and just click "next" or, click on links.. and really have no idea where i'm going to end up. well... at first i came across a few scantily clad women on several sites... for some strange reason, that just didn't really "shock" me. perhaps i expected i would stumble on something like's not like i haven't in the past. BUT.... OMG..... i DID NOT expect to come across blogs... BLOGS.... with pictures... graphic.... ugh.... i just can't put it into words. these are supposed to be diaries, journals... blogs. not ... oh boy... i AM a prude. i just hope my daughter doesn't see this stuff. i really was truly ... for lack of a better word... shocked ! oh, by the way..the pages i speak of..were men !!! very naked, men. doing very naked "things" ! i AM shocked!

ok... i'll move on... i got my new cell phone today...and i did not have to pay for it. woo hoo! and i did make it to the post office box...but, i had NO that was a wasted trip. then i had to get 34 degrees, and WIND...i was sooo cold!!! i didn't go anywhere groceries, or whatever else i was gonna do. i wish i woulda gone to the store now though... i'm hungry!

welp, that's about it for this day. pretty boring. cold, and lazy. sposed to be in the teens tonight...burrrrr. this is texas...what is up with the COLD???

anyhow... y'all stay warm
and oh by the way.... the cig sufferage hasn't been so terrible today. it's gettin bettah !!!!

post valentines day '08

hi peoples--

so- i was just sittin here wondering what i should write-- cuz i am still only on my first cup of coffee, and not about to go around taking pictures of stuff just yet--
so , i think , hmm.. too bad i deleted so many of my posts on here-- i could link back to last Valentines Day, and compare the two. that could be a little interesting actually. even for me, just to see the difference. i remember some of it. i do have it on disc .. perhaps i will drag it out and re-post it later-- with pics of what we got each other this time. yes-- i think i will do that-- so check back later-- like after everyone has left and i have time to do these things. 9 ish maybe TX time.

(*note- i did find this post--
it was actually written over two days,
needless to say- it's a lot of reading-
but i will post it-
later though, maybe dinner-time-ish)

ok so anyhow--

i can at least tell ya about yesterday-- and throw in photos later--along with the reminiscent previous year post. how's that?

V-DAY 2008-- :))

i woke up-- obviously. that is usually a good sign. always good to start the day breathing.

ok.. so , anyhow, i wasn't up for long before soulman got up-- i had got his gift the day before.
which btw-- is something we stopped doing for the most part-- years ago. exchanging gifts, i mean. cards-- most years, not always, but gifts-- nah. just really-- we just aren't that big into this whole Vday thing. we never really have been i don't think. maybe the first few. but we have been married to each other.. pretty close to half our lives--- =[LATE correction; make that a THIRD ]it just doesn't mean a whole lot. the day-- not how we feel. ya know. i think it's a kinda stupid "holiday" actually-- and i actually like the way Gypsy wrote about it yesterday. she had a phew phrases for it that i got a good chuckle out of.

so anyhow----
goo-lawd, i get off track easy--
soulman gets up-- and i already had his gift ready to give him. so i did. he says "yours isn't here yet". that kinda told me what it was .. but i acted dumb.. and moved on to give him his.

(look for photo here later)
photo alert:

rewind even further-- like to 1995... hubby loses his wedding ring-- right off his hand. we were on a trip back from a not so good family situation.. baby soulkid had food poisoning.. she was 2. almost. not good. he never found his ring. lost getting gas..or at a motel on the road somewhere. so he replaced it with a sterling band.. bought at Clines Corners.. a tourist trap travel store off the highway in NM.. some time later.
ever since then (the time he lost it-- i have always wanted to replace it with a nice band-- but we really could never affford to-- any extra money like that, always had to go elsewhere-- or be squandered in a different manner)

SO--- that is what i got him for Valentines day. (obviously) - a new , nice wedding band. he is the type of guy-- and i'm sure there are many-- but i have known many too who aren't this way-- but he never ever ever, takes his wedding ring off. so i gave it to him before work, and he was very happy with it. i told him he could take it back and get fishing stuff if he wanted, but this is what i have wanted to get him .. and he knows that, and he said he loved it.. put it right on, and looked at his hand as if it were full of diamonds. you kinda know a guy loves ya, when he actually loves a ring like that. ya know.
i love my soulman.

(insert hugs and kisses here-- no photos for you!)

then he had to leave for work.

y'all know i was almost out of smokes -- not a good thing-- but i remedied that situation .
i went to the store, after a quick post- but it was before school-- so i picked up some flowers for soulkid--(i already had a card for her)-- i gave them to her-- from both me and soul-dad--before she left. she was happy--- " :))

(look for photo later)

here it is:

(only thing is-- it's the card i gave her,
but the flowers soul-dad sent)

ok... so later.. i'm paying bills and crap-- and someone comes to the door-- a rare thing in soulland-- so-- i go check-- and it was fed-ex. he just left a box at the door and left. so-- i didn't even look at the label.. i assumed it was mine.; hubby told me if anything comes -- to text him. so i do-- i say-- i just got somethin from fed ex-- he said check the card, make sure it's not soulkids.... let's just say i felt a bit of an idiot-- texted him back-- cuz it WAS soulkids!
oh well.

(well.. see flowers above)

so then, i went back to what i was doin.

kind of blank between this time and when people started comin home.
soulman got home early-- maybe 2 ish-- but i was asleep-- i know-- i just can't help myself sometimes. i got cold, and just was gonna cover up and watch tv-- but i fell asleep. :((
so, i woke up about 3.
i walk out to the living room.. and there's soulman , grinnin ear to ear-- the gift bag from the jewelry store that i had given him earlier in the morning sittin on my chair table...
i say-- what's that?? he says.. "your recycled gift bag". i say-- "i see that"... so of course i gotta go scope it out... you won't even believe what he got me... sooooo

(insert photo here)
ready? this is pretty funny-- maybe just to me?
but our gifts are kinda backwards,
if ya look at the traditional gift giving thing.
dontcha think?


it's a fishing reel!
BUT, not just ANY fishing reel.
i have wanted this one for like a year.
it's special made for plastics--
it has a little bar on it,
that when ya click it with your thumb,
it automatically reels only about three to four inches and locks,
how totally awesome is that???
for me-- it is totally cool!


pretty huh?
i will get much more use-- and fun out of this than
a diamond.
sorry ladies-- but that is me.
just so damn easy to please aint i?

then soulkid got home about 340 or so, and we decide to figure out what to do about dinner.. do we wanna go out or cook on the grill. that took no time to decide. soulkid did want to go out-- but we did not. i really have nothing decent to wear out on a day like vday anyhow-- and two-- neither of us care to be around the crowds and waits that vday brings-- nor do we care to watch the idiots who think that their once a year public show of affection actually means anything. ugh. i don't know. is it just me? valentines day almost makes me want to gag. maybe i will feel differently when soulkids eyes light up with newfound love -- i don't know. but for me, for now, it doesn't take "show" to Know. hmmm.. not a bad slogan. for what? dunno. it just came to me. but it works.

ok.. anyhow-- good Lord.. i'm all over the place this morning. oh-- what DID we do about dinner? hubby cooked steaks on the grill/smoker. yummy. he had to go to the store. which apparently was no fun for him; with all the last minute dinner and flower shoppers. but he got back, and had some steaks and some salmon for soulkid. she loves salmon..and of course chicken. picky much? it all turned out yummy. i made baked taters, and some green beans. good dinner, no dressing up --or gagging required. :))

anyhow-- when he got back from the store-- he had a big ole box in his hands--- just like the one that came earlier-- and said-- you didn't hear the fed ex guy??? i was like no-- i think sushi did though.. cuz right after he left for the store-- sushi had a barking attack and went to the door, but neither soulkid or i heard anything.

so anyhow.. i was on the computer.. TRYING to talk to someone.. and there's soulkid opening MY box! and soulman.. glaring at me because i didn't immediately stop what i was doing to open my gift. (i was just trying to finish a thought on the puter) :)) which i lost ..btw.
so i had to end my conversation..mid sentence and i opened my gift... well.. was wasn't already opened by soulkid-- which wasn't much :))--- and it was mahvelous. beautiful, red roses with babies breath.. a red vase, and a little box of chocolate. :)) very nice. and really-- i don't even remember the last time he got me flowers. i could guess..but i'd prolly be wrong. but it has been a while.

(*note- i remembered when i found last years Vday post-
hubby got me roses -OOPS-- told ya i would be wrong to guess-
bad me-

(insert photo here)

(that's the chocolates on the left end-
hubbys card , my roses,
and soulkids A.M. cheapo flowers.---
and just a note-
that's a really pretty angel on the way far left--
that jamie sent me for christmas-
along with that wood "Faith" sign :))-
and that fish photo frame-- was a christmas gift from my sis (Oldy)

so then... we ate , watched a couple recorded tv shows: survivor.. and celebrity apprentice... and then i took my non- romantic ass to bed.. at like 930. :))

all in all-- a nice day in soulland
i really hope y'all had good ones toooooooo.

so anyways-- since this ended up to be so long, i will post last years Vday later tonight-- if you care to return. :))

happy FRIDAY!!!!

Thursday, February 14, 2008

valentines day FROM the soul-sloth family

happy valentines day peeps---

i really don't have much to say right now-- or time to say it either. i'm almost out of smokes-- right in the middle of my smoke and choke--- i never do that. i am not happy with myself. i need to now get dressed and got to the store ugh. never a good thing at 630 in the morning. but oh well. i ran around all day yesterday-- not like i didnt have a chance to pick some up-- i was too lazy-- and sloth-like.


anybody have any big romantic plans???
tell me about em.

i will get back with ya later on what--- if anything we end up doin...

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

eye just can't help myself

so--- eye update-- "allergic conjunctivitis". hmmm. you'd think that a person like me.. who googles every possible medical term under the sun, would know what that was. but noop. didn't. not til yesterday. first time i heard it was when Gypsy said it in the comments. then i take soulkid to the eye doctor-- it was easier to get in there then the GP-- cuz it's "flu season".. lovely. so we go in there-- and here's something else i hate-- since it kinda seems this week i have a runnin list of things i kinda hate on... is when ya got to a doctor and they THEY ask YOU.. what's goin on.. or what do YOU think it is?
well.. lemmee ask YOU dr asshat-- if i KNEW-- would i be HERE.. paying YOU to tell ME?
so the friggin "nurse" (?) i don't know-- asks first-- the one who did like a little eye exam .. "so what do YOU think is goin on"?
to a 13 year old! but leave it to soulkid! :))
"i think i have bacterial conjunctivitis". i HAD to laugh. she sounded so educated-- but at the same time.. i don't know--- it was just kinda weird. for me.
so anyhow-- we got through the exam etc.. then go in and the reg dr comes in.. same question.. i chuckled and told soulkid don't even say it-- although-- i guess i shoulda just left her alone-- because as it turned out-- she is apparently smarter than i give her credit for-- and 2) smarter than ME. i already knew that-- to an extent at least. it just sounds funny to hear a teenager self diagnose themself with a term that you have never even heard. maybe.
so she said she thought she had pink eye.
i felt bad afterwards-- that i stifled her intelligence btw. i won't do that again.
so-- she goes through the exam with the doc---
guess what--
it wasn't "bacterial conjunctivitis" BUT it is "allergic conjunctivitis"... which is basically the same thing-- only not contagious. not an infection. so she got a rx for drops, and can go back to school today.
she is of course upset that she cannot wear makeup for a few days-- and tried to get out of going to school this morning-- but i wasn't fallin for that little trick. her dad almost did. but not EYE . :))

so anyhow--
yesterday was busy-- but it was sporadically so. make sense?
i accomplished a lot-- but in bits and pieces.. and i even tossed a nap in there-- me and soulkid both did. we were tiahd.

hubby cooked some damned good burgers on the smoker after work. along with some chicken. there was only enough chicken for soulkid, but we both snuck a bite just to see how it turned out .. holy cow-- it was awesome! we have wanted to get a "big green egg" for like 7 or 8 years-- and finally got one-- we have only cooked a few things on it so far-- but i'm tellin ya-- it makes the BEST tasting food EVER!

so anyways-- i gotta get motivated here ... or at least try to.... so i will catch up with y'all later-- hopefully not as late as yesterday---

hope you all have happy days in your worlds today--
i will try--

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

time, thunder and teeth oh my

well hell.

i don't know a thing about numerology-- and even if i did , i most likely wouldn't believe it, but the number 333 has been a significant number for some odd reason for like the last couple of years or so. and just in case i didn't get in here to post before the clock rolled over to the next minute-- it was 333 a.m. hmmmm.
it's not just a time with that number-- it has been hwy numbers, mileage on my car, gas prices, bank balances, bill amounts, all kinds of things. places you would not expect to see a number like that-- i have, and not only that, my sister has too. it just pops up. people even leave me comments here at 333. or i post at 333. a.m - or p.m it just happens, and turns up all the time. it's very strange.
as my mom was getting sicker a couple years ago, my sister and i would see this number everywhere-- we used to say-- "maybe that''s what time she will die".. it wasn't however. in fact, i don't remember what time that was-- just that it was dark. i'll never be able to forget that it was dark.

so anyhow-- not only did i wake up too early-- 3 a.m. --- i woke to a big thunderstorm.. the kind that would keep any sane person off of the computer-- but here i sit. i tried to go back to sleep, but it was another of those "sweaty" mornings. sometimes i wake up soaked-- and don't really know why. dr's can't tell me why-- so i have quit even worrying. but i do wonder. so as i laid there, cold, and listening to the thunder, my mind took off. when that happens--- i know it's all over with.
the wind is blowing like crazy too btw. i hear my chairs outside blowing over every now and then one will fall... i think there's one of four left to go. and the little whirly thing on top of the house is about to fly off i think. it's just whizzin around like crazy . i even hear wind in the chimney/fireplace.
i'm surprised it hasn't woken anyone up-- at least sushi-- it's just noisy. creepy. but , everyone's sleepin like a bunch of little babies. well, cept me.

anyhow-- not too sure about y'alls yesterdays yet-- i haven't really checked around since yesterday .
as for mine-- simple plans-- little accomplishment.

my main agenda held a few errands...
which i think i completed-- well... none.
i thought hubby had the day off-- but he had a odd shift again.. like 3-7 or something-- he ended up leaving around 12 or 1 ish and got home about 6.
we ended up going out to pay a bill-- and had lunch. (i'm still waiting for my breakfast out :))
by the time we got back it was time for him to get ready for work-- and my plan was to clean my kitchen and go back out for other errands--- but neither happened. i do know better than to eat a heavy lunch-- but i did it anyways. and i was ruined. eating too much for me, is like a normal person running five miles. it actually wears me out. so, i laid down with my book... i got it almost finished ... and fell asleep. ugh.
i woke up at like 4 .... my first thought of course is soulkid! she gets home around 340 ish. so i jump up all panicky-- not remembering if she was locked out or not-- or even home at all--cuz i didn't hear anything. but there she was-- on the computer -- big surprise there. not.
so- i ask her about her day etc.. get a drink.. begin to sit down.. when she says---
"hey mom, aren't we sposed to go to ortho today?" all nonchalantly . oh man. one thing i
have always hated is being late-- anywhere.
so here it is-- 420 already-- her appointment time.. and we are just leaving. we jump in the car-- i call ortho-- of course being late, got us pushed back like 45 minutes at the appointment. ugh. another thing i hate-- waiting. seems i'd be used to that by now-- but nope-- always waitin on someone -- or something. so anyhow-- all that crap , for what? it was THE shortest actual ortho appt she has EVER had-- BUT-- we sat in the damn waiting room for 45 minutes to get called back---- so they could LOOK IN HER MOUTH. that's it. they didn't even change the bands this time. nuthin.

know what they did do??? they told me on the way out-- oh by the way-- insurance has refused to pay their remaining balance of 369.00 AND you still have a balance of 115.00. (which BOTH i think are total bullshit. - but haven't had a chance to look into yet)-- but they said they won't take her braces off til the balance is paid! WTF! they shoulda had the damned things off her teeth six months ago any damn way. now they threaten to keep her in braces jail til i pay money that should already be paid.. wth do I have to do with what insurance said they would pay??? i don't know anything about that crap. as for what they say i owe? i am 99 percent sure i paid that. i had a payment book-- paid it all-- and never got another bill-- i would think that means i am paid to date. but hell-- i guess i don't know anything about that either. oh well. guess it's another "learning experience". i hate that phrase.

so anyhow-- yep. that was fun. not really. but it happens i guess.
then we get home.. what? 530 or so-- prolly later actualy, cuz soulkid talked me into stopping for MAKEUP. good lord. i have lived nearly 42 years without makeup-- (for the most part of course)-- seems this girl of mine needs something every week. then of course-- she gets A zit, and thinks she she needs some kind of dermatology test kit. ugh. and me? well, i'm just a sucker i spose--- cuz i'm just happy that she is into that kinda stuff. i guess. so we stop at the store--
maybe if i wasn't craving my damn peanut butter M-N-M's -- i coulda "just said no"
but i was gonna eat my way into a calmer mood. didn't really work though.
we got home, and i had to cook dinner right away. stew-- turned ok-- but of course the meat coulda been better. i like stew that cooks all day-- not in an hour or two. but ., it was alright. i've done better though.

so anyhow-- what now? the book. i did finally finish the damn book. usually if or when i read a book.. when i finish it-- i either say to myself ... damn that was good. or i wish i could write like that. or what a piece of shit. you get the drill. i have to critique it at least a little.
well, i finish this one, and i'm like--- OMG-- "critics raved"???? best memoir since tobias wolfs This Boys LIfe (which i loved!)--- that's why i bought it! they compared it to one of my all time favorite movies... but noooo. it was a piece a crap. if it woulda been a library book, and not one i actually paid 20 bucks for-- i bet money i wouldn't have even read the damn thing all the way through. but i kept "waitin for it to get better".
my final thought on THIS book?
OMG.. if this woman can write this book.. and even get OPRAH to back it--?????--- WTH????
i KNOW i could write my book. much better too.

that's what i went to sleep thinking about.. maybe i should get back on the book idea. i don't know the first thing about the first thing about writing a book. but i know i have one in me.. and i know it is much better than this one i just read-- and actually a few others i have read too.
as far as non-fiction goes-- or autobiography-- memoir type of stories--- well, people just don't have lives like me and my family.

y'all know i could never tell you what book i'm talkin about-- i'd get soo busted for "slander" or somethin for doggin it... even though i guess i should have a right to my opinion.. especially on literature -- wouldn't you think? but really.

what a bunch of crap. how hard is it really to write a book? is it really as hard as i let my own fear think it is?
and if i ever did write it--how would it end? how do you end a book without an an ending?
all the years i've thought about it-- i imagined it would end with some great personal healing, or spiritual awakening. neither of which i have arrived at yet.

it really sucks just how paralyzing (my) fear can be.

so anyhow-- i think my child has pink eye-- last night her whole eye was swollen and sore. so if nothing has changed there-- she will be going to the dr today-- school will send her right home if they think she has pink eye.

and aside from that being up in the air-- i have to play catchup today-- on lots of stuff.

i just found out my bro in law may be coming the end of march-- (we all know that's a great time of year for me)-- but i told hubby-- it just might be a good distraction, so tell him to come on. (because he was gonna tell him not to--yet.)
plus-- fishing is liable to be top notch around here about that time. he and i have had a long running fishing competition goin. up until his last visit i think i was ahead-- but some of you might remember-- he did pretty darn good out at lake fork. which is where we hope to go this time too. i think that is where MY ten pound bass lives :)) and i'll get him someday.

ok.. i have blabbed enough. about pretty much nuthin too.

hope you all have good days today...
mine will be busy-- and hopefully good too.

Monday, February 11, 2008

monday again - i know that excites you all

once again i got nuthin.
i think i burnt myself out just answering comments below.

i did realize though, that part of yesterdays oddness.. was that i had posted that i woke up at five a.m.-- but when i made a second trip around thru some blogs-- i noticed i posted on one page at like 4:01 a.m. i was really quite out of it. even more than i thought.
apparently though, it got better throughout the day. i have no clue why i felt the way i did, but it seemed that several others had the same "off" feeling early in the morning. i do wonder what that was all about. or if there was any kind of "connection" , ya know. i don't usually believe in that supernatural hoopla--- but really , there have been times that i have felt the need to call or check on someone.. and it turned out that something was going on with them. that is really strange, i think. but so far-- i haven't heard that anyone who admitted to having "that feeling" yesterday.. had anything really significant happen. yet.

anyways. i don't have anything great to report here. any updates on the mall hell journey are in the below comments-- as are the soul-hub tourney results.

and other than those two events of the day-- nothing else happened here in soul land yesterday.

i am almost finished with my book. i would have finished it.. but didn't devote as much time as i would have like to to it. i have about two hours left on it.
gotta admit-- it keeps your attention-- most of the time-- but i don't think i would recommend it. (way too "floaty") know what i mean? one of those ones that talks in one year-- then in the next paragraph your twenty years ahead-- then back to where you were in a few minutes. my attention span has a tough time with books like that.
but anyhow-- i'll be done with it today.
and yes-- i'm sure you noticed-- i didn't exaggerate when i said i was a slow reader. :((
most people i know can read an entire book in one afternoon. i think i may have done that once-- or twice. in my whole life. flowers in the attic by VC andrews was one of em.

ok.. guess i'm done for now.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

things that make ya go hmmmmm

Well… happy Sunday peeps…

I don’t know about y’all but today just feels weird already. Not sure how to explain what I mean by that yet—but maybe I’ll get there. We’ll see.

It’s 7 A.M. .. Sunday of course-- everything seems “off” already. Ever since I woke up at 5 (ish). For one.. 5 is a bit late for me, but I have been sleeping til then (ish) for a few days it seems. I think maybe I have been staying awake later though too, so maybe that has something to do with that part—but it still feels a bit strange. I usually am up before , or around 4.

This morning.. I woke up… and nothing felt right. I didn’t even feel like I was in the right place. Ya know what I mean? Just a bit out of it I think. Maybe shaking off a dream that I couldn’t remember. Not sure. Then I noticed hubby wasn’t there in bed… but it only took a second to remember that he had to leave around 230 for the fishing tournament. But normally I hear him leave- or wake up when he kisses me goodbye--- (without fail)… but I didn’t this morning. I don’t remember a thing.

Then I get up, and (spot) the cat is sleeping in the bathroom, and jitterbug, the other cat, is sleeping on top of an oversized footlocker at the foot of my bed. Normally jitterbug Is IN the bed—and spot is UNDER the bed. Sushi—she usually goes to bed with me, but when soulkid goes to bed, she kidnaps her and takes her to her room. So , that was nothing new to find her in their, and put her outside.

Anyhow—I just had a strange “feeling”. And when I got online.. to check on peeps, and have my morning “cawfee tawk” (slash) smoke n choke with Jamie—she is nowhere to be found. So, of course I begin to worry—as y’all know—she is awake before the chickens almost everyday—like 3 A/M--- and here it is after 7 and nothin.

So—I answer comments here—and make my rounds—not much new stuff—anywhere. More strangeness. No new news since yesterday a.m.??

It just seems strangely quiet here. In my house—and in blogland. Even sushi came back from outside and disappeared again—she usually gets under my old lady blanky in my chair in the mornings. Every morning. Haven’t even seen her since I let her in.

All this, and – a migraine for breakfast. WTH is UP with all the headaches lately?

What is UP with a lot of stuff?


Aha---- Jamie sprung to life—(this is the latest she has slept since I have known her btw)

we talked a while. Now I feel a bit more like I am in a regular day--- but not still.

I have a shopping date with soulkid later on today. Y’all would be surprised how fast a kid can clean a total disaster area when they really want something. :))

We’d been planning a trip to mall hell for a week now—because soulman has his fishing tournament, and really, she and I just need to spend some time together.

It seems like a long time since we have done anything, just the two of us. It has been a long time. So , even though I hate the mall—and already fear the walking, and probable arguing—I am looking forward to our day together.

Well anyhow—I spose that is all I got for now. The mall here doesn’t open til friggin noon, so I just may have a look around and see if hubby happened to have left me a decent fishing rod—and tackle. If so I MAY go fish a while, til the girl wakes up.

But, I am not feeling very hopeful that I will find a rod worth fishing with—usually a tournament day—means every good setup—and every decent bait we own.. is gone.

So—whatever will I do with myself? Read my book maybe. Which btw—is pretty good—but totally NOT what I expected. I do seem to read faster when I can see though.

So, hopefully, it will get interesting again and I just may finish it by tonight. If so—this will be the fastest I have read a book—in literally years.

Is it the book—or the cheap glasses???



I do hope you all have good days today=

Mall hell and all – I will try